Reddit Haikus

EDIT: Grammar If
     I came into your store would
you model for me?

well thanks, by the way,
     laser pointers are fucking
awesome stoned or not.

I was a waitress
     in a strip club awhile back,
this doesn't phase me.

My throwaway has
     more karma from the one post
than this one, oh well.

It's not good to keep
     switching back and forth between
two different sizes.

After a while, one
     assumes they will figure out
what they are doing.

Supercollider?
     But that song has been around
for a year or so.

I'm an Eagle scout
     and love camping so I do
this every summer.

You should play the game
     itself, it's a great entry
into the series.

And if you do that,
     then its use confers little
to no benefit.

Or maybe she's just
     sad that someone she loved has
broken up with her.

ill take any you
     have left, add me via flair!
Nice, that looks awesome.

I've noticed most groups
     don't sing the chorus of their
song, just the verses.

A line like "you're not
     special", while it sounds harsh, is
absolutely true.

Orange Chicken, Green
     River, My Little Pony:
Friendship is Magic.

There's occasional
     gang violence spillover
from northwest Oakland.

*RETURN FROM WHENCE YOU
     CAME, PEASANT* shut up and take
my money! Great! Thanks!

For me, it would be
     "Airbag", though I'll be more than
happy with "Android".

Then I had my next
     daughter and she was a sweet,
calm, cheerful baby.

I'm actually dumbstruck.
     It's causing me to use "..."s
when I know better.

Or brown men attack
     brown women since nothing is
happening in sudan.

How's about I'll stop
     making false titles when you
learn to read? Deal? Deal.

Who knows? If this is
     true, I'm sure he feels like shit
enough about it.

My girlfriend's brother
     thinks Celtic "druidism"
is an actual thing.

After you release
     your brown baby ask her "did
you see that coming"?

All I can say is
     I'm gonna be happy when
I can leave this state.

If I'm wrong about
     that I would be very pleased
to be corrected.

Get laid, then come back
     and tell me what worked for you.
A lot of The Who.

i think i want kids
     so i can be a good dad
like mine was to me.

I've got to go find
     the ninjas that are cutting
onions in my house.

Why not instead say
     she's looks like an interesting
person to talk to?

While you are at it,
     reduce sodium intake
where you can as well.

Honest opinion:
     Big hair and hoop earrings make
you look like a tramp.

Open Water is
     probably the worst one I've seen
in a theater.

I can never get
     the right amount I wish guys
like you hit on me.

As far as drugs go,
     God commands us to obey
the laws of the land.

Yeah. I've been having
     those problems once I started
working out again.

All Leftist. Train would
     be preferable, but buses
would work at a push.

But every weekend
     we would listen to Car Talk
while out and about.

To me this wasn't
     onions crying, this was kick
in the balls crying.

Well played sir, well played.
     Does this mean Belt gets to bat
against lefties now?

I agree. But now
     your God does not have power
over everything.

You're neglecting air
     molecules and other such
things that you can't see.

Water only helps
     dilute your urine before
the initial test.

I might try Mama
     Bear's Roses once my current stick
wears down a bit more.

Otherwise you can
     just installing it using
the same product key.

Just some creepy guy
     that touches you while singing
Justin Bieber songs.

Ya if I had some
     lsd I'd have something
to stare at all night.

I will wait until
     later this month when I go
to America.

Threads like this always
     make me think of the Apple
South Park episode.

i requested his
     best information to read
for a guy like me.

[deleted] I've had
     some pretty good free breakfasts
at Holiday Inns...

Good luck! [deleted]
     The first step is admitting
you have a problem.

Maybe you're talking
     about the *hidden ending*?
The one with the stars?

Once that one ran out
     I went in for a starter
kit but they were out.

Still hilarious.
     AMEN Well, duh (pardon me,
I'm very tired).

In fairness, it was
     more of a gentle pull, not
like ripping it out.

The only problem
     is that I have no clue where
to go next with this.

As a result, our
     unborn was known as Dino
for the duration.

Over dress your first
     visit as if you came straight
from work to meet friends.

ok really can't
     handle this shit right now No.
Get it the fuck out.

Dual monitors Was
     that automata theory?
Why did they drop it?

guess I know where I'll
     be buying [deleted] No
salting of passwords?

I understand not
     wanting to be the wife who
cooks in the kitchen.

Sure you can get shut
     down but you don't need to feel
bad about yourself.

Not great for striking,
     because punching armor is
not the best approach.

She was deeply hurt
     that I changed my middle name
which was her first name.

Why do we deserve
     the riches of the AUS more
than them anyways?

Not much else to that...
     David's motivations were
pretty well laid out.

I remember how
     I used to be innocent...
Ah, those were the days.

Because Gay Culture
     and Lesbian Culture are
not at all alike?

Pete gets divorced quick!"
     You sound too gentlemanly
for the internet.

The other thing is
     that you have to pay for it,
so I'll probably pass.

It's weird because I'm
     pretty sure all three of you
are the same person.

That is part of it.
     Also they are defined job
descriptions too tight.

I would. It would be
     better for society
and cause less problems.

Where I am Located
     We don't camp in tents we camp
in cabins on site.

Do i think burning
     the churches was the best way
to go about it?

I understand where
     Alex Jones is coming from
with this, and he's right.

Well he's new, nothing
     wrong with him wanting to change
the games he puts out.

Why was everyone
     in that movie hell bent on
touching everything.

You're so wonderful
     and amazing and he's not
good enough for you.

Yea I got lucky
     that only the leaves got burned
and not the flower.

'God isn't real' is
     the most dangerous gamble
you can ever take!

Any serious
     thought you're giving it is more
than he ever did.

Is it possible
     that when you say "love" you mean
"infatuation"?

Tyson lost all his
     toughest fights (Holyfield twice
and Lennox Lewis).

I lose all respect
     for those who rob, especially
with a gun or knife.

[deleted] Oh, then
     that's the life I live right now...
minus the TV.

Its also where u
     give and get advise on how
to live healthier...

In this instance, you
     are contradicting something
that doesn't need it.

Not my cup of tea,
     but I know exactly where
you're coming from ha.

they are always trying
     something different and I find
that commendable.

I'm not sure about
     other stores around the world.
Live day to day man.

And I hope you're right
     about the weather if you're
wearing that around!

But some of the stuff
     in between the short stories
was pretty gruesome.

I know exactly
     how you feel, it's how I was
when I was your age.

What kind of hot, well
     hung Casanova was let
loose in your workplace?

Thing is, my daughter
     and I both believe we are
trying to be quiet.

And what would that be
     Reverting the ghost change is
what I want as well.

When i changed it back,
     i could access the server
properly again.

I'm no expert though.
     I liked him in The Beach, too.
Good actor for sure.

They do good work there.
     I believe the correct term
is "have a pregnant".

If you ever set
     foot anywhere near this house
again you. will. pay.

He's also been bad
     with shipping and some people
have not gotten theirs.

Black guy? Nope. Black girl?
     Nope. Random guy? Nope. Penis?
Nope. Ugly friend? Nope.

Stretch? Thank you!! I will
     definitely look into
this as an option.

I commend Mr.
     Polis for keeping his cool
through the questioning.

Am I the only
     one who thinks this is really,
really horrible?

Wake up every day
     and say "i love what i do".
Again, good luck mate.

EDIT: My main point
     is that you don't want to use
strings for everything.

Last year my mother
     passed away, and our two dogs
could sense the sadness.

It can be TV
     shows, celebrities, hobbies,
sports, etc.

Either the deadly
     father or the one who brought
death TO his father.

He got mad at me
     so we aren't friends anymore.
That means no Halo.

And there's not a damn
     thing you or anyone else
can do about it.

If you want her go
     get her. Easy as that yeah...
good movie, and book.

I wonder how much
     time Ryan must spend eating.
Man, he must love food.

How is protecting
     his daughter *not* protecting
another person?

I'd genuinely
     like to hear and understand
what you have to say.

I'll have to check out
     the dollar store when I go
into town next month.

I interpret things
     differently, but I don't claim
to know that I'm right.

Anyways, if its
     not many papers and such,
just keep them on you.

And respect. But just
     looking good will only get
you so far, ya know?

We believe church is
     whenever two or more are
gathered in his name.

Also, you could try
     asking him to plan a date
for the two of you.

Tell him to pick you
     up at a certain time, but
let him plan the date.

The only family
     she knows would be gone and you'd
be okay with that?

Start exercising
     if you haven't already.
Hang out with your friends.

You're worried about
     how they look (and complaining
about it) aren't you?

Smells like dinner roll
     dough before putting into
the oven. It's fate!

Just because he sends
     someone to hell doesn't mean
he doesn't love them.

There were two little
     girls who had pet ones they would
dress up in doll clothes.

Am I the only
     one who doesn't find Channing
Tatum attractive?

Makes partying when
     you don't have the OPs a lot
smoother :D Buffy.

How does this increase
     demand if they're already
here purchasing things?

I've been trying to psych
     myself into thinking it'll
be bad, just in case.

The larger the wolf,
     the more energy would be
required to do this.

and open my eyes.
     But in all seriousness,
doctor would be great.

I work with people
     who have similar interests
and intelligence.

I am not going
     to tell you whether or not
to go to college.

And that the car was
     deemed perfectly safe for road
use after the fact?

For example, you're
     probably expected to work
in a uniform.

[deleted] You mean
     you just took some LSD,
THEN had the burger.

"Grandpa, you actually
     made noise with a piece of wood
and some metal strings?

Last wishes have no
     bearing on criminal law.
Where do I apply?

However it didn't
     really create anything
new for the franchise.

Mostly when I feel
     sick of new music, or need
some inspiration.

In the meantime, I'll
     clear you from my list to make
room for others. Thanks.

Ketchup, anything
     but Heinz is total garbage.
so maybe i am.

Was it at a wide
     array of companies or
was it a vector?

If he had one of,
     say, Emma Watson, I'd just
ask to borrow it.

The best thing you can
     do right now is to transcribe
excellent bass parts.

By the time I was
     done, I had managed to get
to the last reform.

Old High German had
     the English 'w' sound.
And the aspirate.

It's like my sex life.
     Except NA servers exist.
[deleted] kneecap.

When did you say that?
     Nice house! You really did put
effort in to it.

Is 4G reception
     really that bad that you can't
get it in your house?

I can name more than
     three religious murderers
from just this decade.

A talking snake, man
     made from dirt, another cloned
from a rib, really?

I don't understand.
     What's the most often request
you've ever received?

The woman quickly
     closed the blinds and hid in her
sheets and went to sleep.

Yeah that's what I thought.
     Just wanted to hear it from
someone first hand. Thanks!!

Do you really think
     the day their doctor fires them,
that's the day they quit?

If you disobey
     the rules three weeks a month, you
still get 360k a year.

Your routes are really
     missing out on the whole top
half of the country.

And I also don't
     know if any of them are
going to Heaven.

Oh alright. I guess
     I got lucky cause that's how
I did it. Thank you.

You feel your penis
     tingle, and the blood rushes
into it. But, no.

Dude, your numbers are
     scratched, you should get a refill
[I'm here for you friend.

I mean, I feel bad
     for people with sexual
urges toward children.

If he is standing
     you up, yeah, that's no good, you
should scold him for that.

I'm thinking ursa
     warrior wouldn't be very
good in LoL.

If I didn't I would
     say that I would be winning
at least half the time.

All my friends who are
     musicians and all my band
mates also have it.

Avoid things that can
     be stressful, like going out
in public Ooh, ouch.

hoping for a fix
     Not reflexive in this case,
although "me" can be.

I know that token
     glitch it was a joke to get
10th but come on.

Individuals
     put a great deal of effort
into planning things.

Maybe, just maybe,
     the service was bad and didn't
deserve a good tip?

That means that servers
     are not paid "minimum wage"
by their employer.

In future she will
     always have a strange unease
about your person.

Also, they are both
     named after characters from
fantasy novels.

[deleted] But you
     got it all done and over
with pretty quickly.

This is, without doubt,
     the craziest PC I've
ever read about.

I started writing
     before there were comments. Um...
great minds think alike?

If not that I'll go
     for a run or just put some
Tool on and zone out.

Our quarterback is
     on a full ride scholarship
to villanova.

There ARE people who,
     through no fault of their own, need
help in their old age.

Along with making
     plans for a visit, either
by her or by you.

What are you up to?"
     and kept looking at me when
I was lying down.

(we are still waiting
     for promo codes from Apple)
[](/lol) Thank you.

Biased article.
     Shamans are not diseased nor
defective humans.

"Mediocrity
     is a terrible fate," Ghost
Story, Jim Butcher.

Jesus only asked,
     he never forced anyone
to do anything.

I have not been back,
     though I have been in eastern
europe several times.

Oh yeah and I am
     wearing women's underwear.
You are in Denver?

I'm replaying ME1
     right now, but don't hesitate
to shoot an invite.

I read this story
     about a month ago, thanks
for reminding me.

Why can't God just leave
     people alone if they don't
want to worship him?

Do you like to eat?
     Because that's pretty huge here,
as are the locals.