Reddit Haikus

Do you like to eat?
     Because that's pretty huge here,
as are the locals.

From there, you could pick
     any girl on the planet
to fuck every day.

[deleted] and that's
     how I met your mother, kids.
[deleted] Fair point.

And then it will go
     away as I start to think
about other things.

My lack of belief
     is simply a conclusion
based on what I know.

They don't need to be
     credited or anything.
Okay, my mistake.

The comedy will
     hit you like a ton a bricks!
Coming this summer.

Then I learned that's how
     you get caught after a nice
letter from Comcast.

It's going to be
     hard work, but she will get through
this, and so will you.

hope this helps and feel
     free to ask other questions
Brady Quinn baby!

No cookies. No high
     fructose condiments. No fruit.
Yes, that is sugar.

Magical. As long
     as they always look normal
on your character.

I'd greatly prefer
     that they have a fulfilling
and accomplished life.

Although I'm not sure
     if collecting antiques is
considered frugal.

Unfortunately
     most people don't believe me
when I tell them this.

She is no worse than
     any other pop singer
at the moment. No.

Shit your balls indeed.
     He. Didn't. Say. *When*. He. Found. It.
He. Just. Said. He. Found.

Yay~ Yes, I actually
     have talked to the creator.
She's bloody awesome.

I said "You look like
     Donald Glover." He replied
"My mom says that too."

Tomorrow morning
     might be the last time I see
my father alive.

Thanks to the people
     there's someone who like to do
what you like to do.

Seriously, I'm
     one of the only people
who actually *liked* Spore.

friends of mine that don't
     even wear contacts use them
as an excuse, too.

Also if you bring
     in the koreans that'll add
to the sample size.

Maybe with some time
     and gentle education
(spoon theory maybe?

They either pony
     up to the chores, or they can
go and live elsewhere.

To this day, I still
     don't know which one of them yelled,
"fuck me in the ass."

So don't always think
     what your professors say is
straight truth. Oh, okay.

*Might* explode. I'm sure
     the bro was onto it since
he did a reveal.

Any idea
     if people expect to build
on the Green Movement?

Maybe you could give
     that a try yourself, you might
learn a thing or two.

[deleted] How much
     bud we talking? God hates you.
Poseidon loves you.

These are great. You can
     almost see the confidence
growing in his eyes.

If this is someone
     you love and you are sure you
want to live with him.

My trouble involves
     my family and the people
that live in this town.

And I am Christian.
     Wow man! You look fantastic!
Where are you located?

My mother's divorce
     lawyer has the word "rebel"
tattooed on her wrist.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME
     WITH THAT SHIT. MAKE SURE YOU GET
GOOD INFORMATION.

Okay thanks, let me
     know if you find anything
else Absolutely.

Anyone who has
     ...'read and reread' all of Dan
Brown's books deserves it!

"Start"? What do you think
     happens to the equipment
when grow rooms and clan.

The internet will
     eventually destroy them
all in given time.

There are some very,
     very persistent Chinese
gold snaggers out there.

I almost never
     mind a "Look who I found" post,
this is Rob Lowe, man...

as in personal
     details that will let someone
identify me.

[deleted] Next step
     in becoming a ninja,
throwing knives and such!

Even as a life
     long 'Taker mark, The Stunner
deserves the top spot.

I don't really see
     the problem with buying rune
pages anyway.

That means that no frog
     has ever been asked for ID
when buying liquor.

It feels good because
     I doubted I would ever
clear the world at all.

And who honestly
     enjoys living in dry dorms
past their freshman year?

While I do agree
     with this in concept, it's not
true in all cases.

He could actually last
     hit he just didn't know how his
abilities worked.

Hell, I have a hard
     time following links people
send me in emails.

I'm loving the game
     and honestly see very
few problems with it.

New electronic
     devices don't use that much.
AMAZING, good work.

It's not that we don't
     have disagreements... we do.
We just talk them out.

The question that you
     need to ask yourself is, "am
I happy with this?"

It would be simple
     for him to do something like
speak out against one.

I don't die often,
     but when I do I really
don't care to pay 24k.

Yup, I live in Seal
     Beach. Band wagon Angels fans
everywhere in sight.

It looks like regret.
     I did this. DON'T WALK INTO
THE WRONG KIND OF PUB!!!

The only thing you
     can control is what you do
and how you react.

Folks actually get bent
     out of shape for what THEY dream
about YOU doing?

I don't think he'd be
     in there if the company
were conservative.

And would love some games
     on it rather then waiting
to save up for some!

Men have a lot more
     hair than women, too, and on
their back, chest and ass.

We need answers OP!
     Agreed! Just as long as you
*do* vote! that's helpful.

I'm all for patent
     reform, but yee gods this thing
was poorly written.

What do we do when
     someone cannot do their job
in the USA???

If people don't file
     lawsuits, companies have no
reason not to lie.

I have my degree
     and no debt, but others?... man...
bad situation.

I have heard christians
     proclaim God's infinite love
many, many times.

For example, If
     you pick the Japanese you
start off in Kyushu.

Good waiters and bad
     waiters sometimes get tipped well,
and sometimes get stiffed.

And she's a widow.
     This donation will set her.
This is amazing.

Okay cause I'm too
     lazy to do it any
other way. Better?

I got a job right
     out school so now I can pay
back those pesky loans.

I definitely
     don't know if that's true, can't trust
everything you read.

Dude that's amazing.
     You're amazing. You will be
around for your boy.

this was beautiful.
     i can't express that enough.
so many regrets.

I went to the O
     several times to see the Mets
and it always stunk.

You did not answer
     parent's question about what
you scored on the test.

Software for macs are
     dramatically cheaper than
that of a pc.

Let me on that bus.
     I'll beat them at their own game.
Screw beating them up.

Just straight up ask him.
     If you cannot do that, I'd
question your friendship.

Best wishes to you.
     Hope you get the apartment
and nothing goes wrong.

My solutions are
     almost always longer than
most other people's.

I'm interested but
     I dunno about league safe.
Is it credible?

Talk to your doctor,
     get a prescription and take
care of the problem.

The building tapers.
     You'd have to get it pretty
far out to go down.

At that point McCain
     just dumped Carol for something
he thought was better.

Summer comes late here
     and August is really when
summer hits full swing.

He fumbled his keys
     as he anxiously unlocked
the door and dove in.

Pit of Despair, Rape
     Rack, this guy should not have been
allowed to name things.

Where are you from if
     I might ask? It's hard to find
in New York these days.

:p To be honest,
     I doubt he even knows we're
talking about him.

It's beating a dead
     horse at this point, you're never
going to get it.

His home system is
     totally boss, but I need
to compete with him.

SAMARA IS BACK
     That's too far detached from what
I meant. "You're stupid."

I don't know any
     other great resources off
the top of my head.

/sarcasm No, it's
     not for a guys benefit,
it's just what they do.

Remove from the heat
     and stir in the parsley leaves.
Let cool completely.

There's going to be
     so many paradoxes
by the end of this.

People are going
     to be dicks, just let it go.
Groovy. Apple sauce.

Source: a company
     that got in trouble for not
following the law.

This pathetic shit
     is the kind of stuff that can
ruin a season.

Objective morals
     don't really make any sense
in our universe.

im just gonna put
     here the facts BEFORE the church
had its hands in it.

Only some states pay
     waiters below minimum
wage before their tips.

but yeah there were kids
     who I either didn't like or
I thought they were weird.

[deleted] Looks like
     you had a little trouble
keeping your promise.

A pair of boxer
     briefs and jeans make my package
look ridiculous.

So, I just choose not
     to wear pants that look like I'm
shoving fruit in them.

Judging somebody
     doesn't make you a douche bag,
it's human nature.

Please let me know if
     you have any resources
that say otherwise.

They are just simply
     dead now, not a difficult
or complex concept.

NO NO NO NO NO
     NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO. BAD!

"Gun control *allowed*
     the holocaust *to happen*".
And yes, it is true.

Looks cool That's pretty
     much exactly how this guy
finished it. Intel.

Looking at how things
     are the same or different when
viewed in different ways.

Especially since their
     prices are already too
high, most of the time.

I had had them all
     before but for some reason
liked Blue Dot better.

I would have people
     ask what happened all the time,
and I hated it.

They just patched the game,
     let it alone for a while,
see how things turn out.

Nobody bites, much.
     :D Sail To The Moon for me.
Such a haunting song.

I won't judge the game
     that much since I don't plan on
ever playing it.

If holding these men
     accountable for these crimes
is "biased", then fine.

I found a doctor
     who has an amazing soul
and bedside matter.

An example is
     eye contact, I cannot look
people in the eyes.

Very rarely do
     false rapes or sex offenses
become overturned.

Lots and lots of oil!
     We know you need it. We know
you crave it. Water.

The little girl now
     lives with her grandmother, who
loves her very much.

Still a lot of work
     to do, but its amazing
what we've done so far.

EDIT: It's not like
     I've spent the last two years holed
up in a bunker.

I know exactly
     what you mean, I hear people
say that all the time.

Maybe they were trying
     to disconnect everything
when it got flooded?

It's just a greasy
     burger with thousand island
dressing and bad fries.

Although, I guess you
     don't really see smoking ads
anymore, do you?

Yeah, I just found out
     I have AIDS. Yep, AIDS. Full blown.
Got about six months.

Sounds to me like he'll
     outgrow the ghost thing without
any outside help.

I generally don't
     like seeing kids getting beat,
but that fucking kid...

Plus I think I'd much
     rather drown out some noise than
have my fish suffer.

Then I remembered
     that comedy central owned
the characters. So.

He's played this game too
     damn long to let something like
that get in his way.

Tell him to show you
     some of his favorite porn scenes,
then reenact them.

When in doubt, dark jeans
     and a blazer can dress up
almost anything.

I agree with you
     when you say that Linux is
the best. Lucky SOB!

For the life of me,
     I can't come up with a good
hybrid solution.

I DID lol.
     A poster of me sleeping
would probably do it.

You just have to be
     prepared to make some major
changes in your life.

[deleted] Alas,
     the sad moment when he down
votes something you made.

Will you really be
     able to have free time once
you're up "the ladder"?

Just quit till blizzard
     sorts out bullshit affixes
(which may be never).

i went there every
     year because my grandfather
worked for edison.

This was tough to read.
     What's your relationship like
with your father now?

Feel bad giving them
     away as I have never
had on before.... Huh?

He would get hard, I'd
     try to fuck him and he would
go soft instantly.

When you disregard
     the special effects, there is
nothing of substance.

Holy fuck, this right
     here may be the best comic
I have ever read.

While Cafe Racers
     aren't my cup of tea, I still
think that's a nice ass.

Learn to cook with real,
     raw ingredients first, then
learn how to season.

Dude just no... You can
     edit your post, you know? ass.
ass everywhere. Yay!

I was so caught up
     in it all I didn't realize
I was one either.

[deleted] They can
     lose Super Bowls to Green Bay
and Chicago, too.

How is this not more
     well known, it sounds like he killed
hundreds of people.

True story It sounds
     like a chain lamp being pulled,
or overhead lamp.

The blood stain and one
     feather are still on the grill.
RIP, little buddy.

He's actually asking
     for specific advice though,
so I took it back.

Yeah man. What's it made
     out of? Australian Shepherd?
am i even close?

When in doubt, never
     throw it out our time will come...
Not in my country.

Also, I would drive
     to any race track in said
cars and drive around.

The next day he called
     to apologize and asked
for another date.

Seems like the smartest
     way to make sure it all ends
up in the right hands.

Secondly, is meat
     the diet God intended
for the human race?

and that's the nicest
     thing anyone has ever
said to me. ever.

Yes and no. I was
     nice because people should not
be treated like shit.

By the end I was
     hating myself a little.
Well, okay. A lot.

Good God, and to think
     that some people actually think
that that's *usable*.

you can buy better
     quality military
surplus clothes online.

If anyone has
     has specific snack requests
I'd love to oblige!

You left your channel
     open and people listened
to you. That's your fault.

I didn't specify.
     I do mean specifically
in the Disney film.

That's Charlie Hotel
     Alpha Romeo Lima
India Echo.

I saw Rob Zombie
     on the street and addressed him
as Mr. Zombie.

Nothing special yet,
     but, thanks a lot for a great
project idea!

That's cold. I got one
     one time that was just a card
with a heart on it.

What the various
     churches *claim* that the text says
has certainly changed.

Head to a local
     pawn shop bro you can probably
get one there for cheap.

I like it! If you
     ever get cold you can light
your water on fire!

I have been happy,
     i've been sad, i've been numb, i've
been a lot of things.

My life hit reset
     and now i have my before
life and my new life.

So that helped a lot
     with deciding to get back
onto the market.

[deleted] Wait what?
     I'm not sure I'm catching what
your talking about.

It's basically no
     work and it gets the job done,
that's why I like it.

I usually think
     that, but not about my own.
Until now that is...

Usually they cost
     thousands of dollars and lost
years of life savings.

I'm led to believe
     that you may not understand
what addiction is.

Drive my truck as fast
     as i can and hit something
really, really hard.

Hopefully he will
     be caught off guard and let me
get the upper hand.

Anyways you should
     report your experience.
This is a joke, right?