Reddit Haikus

Perhaps if the site
     had an international
section for users?

Pretty smooth rescue.
     I don't think the rescued had
much weight to them though.

that captive ball will
     rotate pretty easily
between your fingers.

Most of these women
     have curves in the right places.
will you marry me?

just because we don't
     know what that role is doesn't
mean its meaningless.

We fight and manage
     to take out four heroes while
only losing two.

We win another
     team fight and now we're all friends
on my team again.

And I still don't see
     anything that indicates
his ears have been cropped.

He is just about
     the nicest man in the world
[deleted] Eight hours?

Just play the game while
     trying to improve and it will
rise eventually.

This is why we date...
     so that we can find out if
we'll hate each other.

I swear to god, if
     this didn't happen so damn much
I would never die.

Phone numbers, address,
     names of friends, etc.
Then hit it and run.

Then there was a free
     week Vladimir, so I Joined
my first game ever.

Oh my! How do you
     every get anything done
on your computer!?

I know that feel, bro.
     Gabe has a beard. Interesting.
I miss this great show!!!

YOU SHALL NOT REGRET.
     Now I have The Liberty
Bell stuck in my head.

the worst part would be
     all the endless discussion
that serves no good points.

That begs the question:
     who's willing to mass market
this as a gag prop?

Maybe also first
     read some books on investing.
That can never hurt.

I ran through every
     episode of Party Down
over a weekend.

Maybe also first
     read some books on investing.
That can never hurt.

Ha! Well, it's either
     that or the workload getting
to Berkeley students.

The underlying
     point that Christians cherry pick
the bible still stands.

Slightly off topic
     but I love watching Texas
fans in agony.

Explains whey every
     one is afraid as a child.
It's in the rule book.

[deleted] I'm just
     curious, where did you learn
your "economics"?

I've used it a few
     times but then I had a time
where it was like wow!!

It's a tame hike though
     and something that can be done
in an afternoon.

One cannot *believe*
     in Evolution, its not
open for debate.

instead of "holy
     shit aliens are fucking
with our neutrinos".

I was lying right
     there under the bench blending
in with the shadows.

So you have someone
     to turn to and spout cool lines
at while you're flying.

I thought the batter
     works like glue to make the flour
stick to the chicken.

The way we've been bred
     and the changes that have been
made are imperfect..

If I were to guess,
     I'd say we'd still be pumping
out naive, T cells.

His was a perfect
     board and hadn't had any
problems like I did.

Marie Antoinette
     Emu stole my tomato
and cheese sandwich once.

It always came out
     easier if it was just
the room mate around.

Did you know you can
     use binder clips to replace
broken keyboard feet?

On my Mac I would
     simply place them side by side
in different windows.

They'll know because its
     the third time you've gotten food
in as many hours.

Have fun! [deleted]
     Not even remotely close.
Fuck you, Internet.

[deleted] you sir,
     are one hilarious lad.
PROPS, PROPS ALL AROUND!

Good science is, just
     like good philosophy is
based off of reason.

If I say **"how on
     Earth can you tell where they're from
by looking at them?

You're going to get
     people who don't understand
anywhere you go.

But if someone brings
     out cheese and crackers or cake
you can't help yourself.

I'm late to the game
     but I'm not able to get
online too often.

Sounds like someone trying
     to justify giving up
on being themselves.

MY EARS ARE BLEEDING.
     AND FUCK YOU FOR NOT LIKING
QUEEN. I'LL KILL YOUR DOG.

Sounds like if you want
     Fibre, you don't have much choice
OTHER than BT.

Either Racetrack or
     James "Jammer" Lyman. Please don't
fuck the customer!

Drives around his house
     in his hummer to make sure
his lawn looks perfect.

I like his voice, his
     insight, and his sarcasm
when his team's behind.

War of the Worlds was
     the first book I read by Wells,
and it got me hooked!

they are putting up
     the mixed audio from all
their shows for purchase.

If a guy acts like
     that for too long they'll never
get back together.

I hope your pussy
     and dick go dry by the time
you figure it out!

For example, New
     things that shock you, but do not
bother you too much.

Edit: I can't tell
     if you were speaking as me
in the second line.

The EASIEST way
     to kill a tank is with one
pass of rocket pods.

It is not OK
     to put others in danger
for your own hobby.

No worries, it's was
     completely valid question.
[deleted] You called?

EDIT: I might go
     through this later and come up
with a better draft.

I was asked today
     if blue cheese salad dressing
had dairy in it.

Except for head shots.
     They're the only exception.
Lol so true.

[deleted] Score per
     minute is per minute played,
not real time minutes.

get ready to hear
     about our little Caesar's
pizza bowl victory.

This is my haiku.
     Sometimes I feel like a nut,
And sometimes I don't.

I don't know if I'll
     ever be comfortable
in my own body.

Nothing like getting
     all dressed up to see your mom
after a few years.

If we did, we would
     respect even mosquitos
as we do humans.

It looks terrible.
     Other than that looks ok.
Why would you do that?

If not a refund,
     at least a lot of random
free games or some shit.

You can't claim you weren't
     aware of it and so you
have no case defense.

We ski there every
     year and I want nothing more
than to live there. Cheers.

Sometimes he gets raw
     meat or left overs from what
we have for dinner.

Regarding data
     caching, do you *really* want
to rely on that?

I feel as if Pete
     has resorted back to his
wanting to be Don.

Nice of you to do
     this, but I honestly think
you should just sell them.

no idea is
     original, there's nothing
new under the sun.

Please take your seat on
     the solid gold throne laden
with velvet and gems.

So many people
     who do it for the music,
and not the money.

Nothing would make me
     happier than to see Daft
Punk live. I'm obsessed.

The title uses
     the word **erection**, and there
is no nudity.

Like, in the thousands.
     That's how confident I am.
Try harder Mate... Crow!

That's how confident
     I am. Try harder Mate... Crow!
Crow? *nod* Crow! -Crow Slurp.

Just stand up and put
     just a little extra weight
on the painful leg.

And the panic when
     he realizes they're actually
going to kill him.

Best thing to do is
     write them a polite email
and see what happens.

Difference being I'm
     not cluttering up the front
page with my whining.

I never get how
     women can complain about
the seat being up.

You can go full out
     and get one from a breeder
or go to PetsMart.

I like the edit.
     Ah, I see, an amateur.
You are forgiven.

I don't know how much
     MS charges. Yes, widgets, how
could I forget that.

Ever notice how
     most people don't keep their New
Year resolutions?

I suppose it would
     be harder if you don't know
or care much for it.

Whenever I give
     examples, they say that I'm
just an exception.

Using a chokehold
     on an unarmed civilian
is losing control.

If you want to get
     right down to it, the point is
to pass on your genes.

Getting punched or kicked
     hurts and hurts a lot even
with adrenaline.

[deleted] Juice Whore
     and Health Cabin seem to be
pretty popular.

This girl meant the world
     to me, and I thought I meant
the world to her, too.

It is not really
     something that lends itself well
to legislation.

Obviously you
     lapped it all up in college,
if you ever went.

My buddy (first name
     starts with I) lives in the one
to the very right.

And I've just started
     giving examples but there
are countless of them.

Team Rocket have helped
     Ash and his friends in almost
EVERY Episode.

Besides, teaching is
     the best way to mastery.
Oh. I feel bad now.

You see the cursor
     move on your computer screen
if you move the mouse.

Well, if you're buried,
     maggots won't be there, because
flies can't get to you.

Again, I SUPPORT
     decreased spending in order
to cut their tax rate.

There's a big difference.
     Can't beat it, but there are some
emerging issues.

There is a slight chance
     that you will get to have sex
Neil Patrick Harris.

.....and then she came back
     after work to tell my boss
how helpful I was.

Losing feeling would
     suck cause you never know when
you're hurting yourself.

It's not as though it's
     just a channel of water
being affected.

I'm actually looking
     for some of his WoW casts but
cannot find any...

and i remember
     drawing things out of the book.
Man, good memories.

The problem would be
     if the "rush hour" time lasted
into the next one.

Cops tell dave that its
     his kid, and he can do what
he wants to his kid.

Driving all five kids
     to where they needed to be
every single day?

And awkward attempts
     to drunk make out, for both gay
men and gay women.

let him move on next
     season and pick a good draft
choice to replace him.

I was with a friend
     who was dressed as Finn with Jake
in his shirt pocket.

More on that, if you
     say your wife is beautiful,
i simply don't care.

[deleted] Isn't
     that because malnutrition
delays puberty?

They're against being
     the ones that have to suffer
that exploitation.

Maybe. Let's just say
     that is what I meant. Better?
I can vouch for this.

He doesn't like that,
     we get into a fist fight.
He starts breaking shit.

I hope the guy is
     taking Fish Oil pills for his
heart, though. Damn, woman.

If all else fails, save
     up a couple grand and buy
yourself a Laser.

"Listen, kid" "Until
     you stop replying, I won't"
Like I said before.

Talk about what you
     want, and enjoy the limelight!
We're all proud of you!!

I don't like it, you
     don't like it, but it doesn't
make it somehow wrong.

As you say, no heart.
     Anyone see that naked
chick in that window?

these people are hands
     down the dumbest people i've
heard about today.

The Nexus runs on
     mostly or entirety
open source software.

If you can't keep form
     as you go down, you're probably
going to heavy.

I had no choice but
     to "give in to his logic"
and get more whiskey.

Hey at least you are
     startled by your reaction,
that's better than some.

Yeah, it's possible,
     but we can't infer that from
the picture alone.

I know it isn't
     much but my inventory
is a barren place!

Damn Notre Dame has
     stolen more titles from us
than Auburn has won.

It's not on instant
     streaming which is the only
one I care about.

IMO, Hathaway
     is one of the worst casting
decisions ever...

Why put Walden back
     in the closing role if Downs
is getting it done?

Can someone explain
     to me what I am supposed
to be looking at?

Most people actually
     think sex as emotional.
You are not alone.

This band is called Count
     To Six and the song title
is The Air I Breathe.

I definitely
     like bi guys, and I've never
pegged, but I'd like to.

I don't remember
     what happened to it but it's
probably been removed.

Can you explain more?
     That's fucking gross she didn't check
to take it out. Fail.

The swastika use
     to be a symbol for love
and peace... makes me sad.

Yes Rooney we hear
     you and your three bicycle
kicks from the half line.

If you stole a horse,
     and found guilty, you would be
hanged (or what ever).

Weirdest, cutest dog
     I've ever seen. I'll see if
I can find a pic.

It was just a bad
     day for two wheeled vehicles
in that part of town.

Who cares? We all know
     that no one would be talking
like that in real life.

I painted over
     the gradient with Sinful
colors Smoking Hot.

Very awkward but
     I'm pretty sure they ended
up back together.

As long as you are
     focused and dedicated,
then it's doable.

Christians disagree.
     This man just hospitalized
the English language.

Keep it up! I check
     this site several times a day.
It works great. Will do!

Keep it shaved well, though.
     Stubble is worse than a well
trimmed bush any day.

I can't seem to find
     one where my face doesn't show,
my apologies.

They might assume you
     know a lot about very
vindictive women.

Take their equipment,
     equip it and bash. SO GOOD.
Dude. The world is huge.

It's only when things
     go wrong that I dive into
settings anymore.

What are you gonna
     write about if you can't go
online and research?

Being sort of friends
     with the 5th year, I stepped
in to calm it down.

people fight enough
     about the meaning of words
in their own language.

Even better, if
     there was a place to post these
I would be willing.

still annoying, but
     without actually damaging
someone's property.

Now why don't you sit
     down and think *why* those people
have the best weapons?

I'm sorry but, there
     is no way Paul is getting
the nomination.

An incredible
     flow of relaxation has
just washed over me.

No one should ever
     give up hope to save a kid.
I don't believe so.

The maps are smaller.
     The number of units is
decreased, and so on.

Although it's only
     speculation on my part
I would assume so.

You have to admit
     that you *might* not be able
to see what I see.

I will never feel
     like working at subway is
better than nothing.

He's eleven, he's
     kind of predisposed to be
obnoxious right now.

Hopefully somewhere
     outside of our division.
Type this into bing.

I mean, do you all
     modify your vehicles
right when you buy them?

I find it funny
     how you change your position
after every post.

Just having the road
     team flair and a chat thread would
really make things fun.

So you're the first, or
     else you're experiencing
selection bias.

Also, I'd never
     wear the same pair of socks twice.
New socks feel so good.

See? I can cherry
     pick responses to favor
my argument, too.

You honestly don't
     see the disconnect between
your arguments there?

Hopefully not... like...
     depleted uranium
dust or anything.

Why have I never
     heard of a shooter sandwich?
This is life changing.

Should I wait (guessing
     the answer here is yes) or
just take the plunge now?

And it doesn't help
     that the Florida justice
system is racist.

Now I live in Moon,
     parkway is a mess every
hour of every day.

American here.
     Nice welcome for someone trying
to be friendly, dick.

If it's something you
     never bothered with, you'll be
surprised at this show.

And pretend to act
     offended if anyone
mentions my mustache.

I was saving these
     for afterwards, but you could
probably use it now".