Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 413 of 1746

Haiku #24440

I have a 6-7in dick
     that's 2in flaccid, and that's if
I'm not cold. Who cares?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24441

Wouldn't the numbness
     make cold tap water taste more
like distilled water?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24442

Also, when you put
     the volume to max you get
fuzz from the speakers.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24443

Our guitar player
     throws up out the car window
and loses his hat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24444

Due to my small size,
     the point of impact ended
up being his boys.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24446

This is funny, but
     my wife doesn't literally
orgasm at all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24447

Hope this helps We talk
     about science and discuss
reports from the lab.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24448

It was beyond gross.
     Blood was pouring out of his
nose like a faucet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24449

It is another
     step towards expanding knowledge
and understanding.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24450

Given that case, I'm
     unsure if the market would
turn around or not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24451

Its not that I am
     afraid too, its that I just
know it won't happen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24452

less people thinking
     about god every day is
less ignorance. Truth.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24453

I was taking speech
     classes in like 6-7th grade
for my stuttering.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24454

Not sure if saying
     travesty in English or
transvestite in French.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24455

Exactly and that's
     what makes it a genre that's
harder to write in.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24456

I saw his TED talk
     and immediately watched
the doc about him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24457

/s Is that Jesse
     Ventura from Predator
trying to put that out?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24458

Mine's getting sent back
     in today for the same port
problem when charging.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24459

The. Fuck. Does the term
     "innocent until proven
guilty" ring a bell?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24460

But with that said, you're
     right and I should probably think
about it this way.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24461

He makes a huge mess
     when he cooks, but it's worth all
the delicious meals.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24462

Most mages blow all
     their cds and then just stand
there until they die.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24463

He had it coming.
     It's a super nintendo
game, not n64 We don't.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24464

If there is no fear
     involved then its just a block
building game for me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24466

A new Moon Knight just
     started this summer and I've
enjoyed it thus far.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24467

Darth Vader was good
     and all, but he plays other
types of characters.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24468

But I don't know what
     I would dress up as. OH GOD,
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24469

I felt guilty, like
     I sucked a little magic
out of their world. Thanks?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24470

or start sucking up
     and saying that you are cured.
If you can, deploy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24471

Oh, and by the way,
     tell the doctors that you want
to deploy, you will.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24472

I'm just asking you
     to be familiar with what
you're talking about.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24473

Bush needs to be tried
     before the world as the war
criminal he is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24474

[deleted] Is our
     own history all that different?
Our species is sick.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24475

I think you misspelled
     'artifact'. And what do phones
have to do with it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24476

[deleted] Winner.
     I totally disagree
with your first sentence.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24477

nope, works fine for me.
     definitely looks surprised
to see you. "this... uh.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24478

With any other
     class I'm probably averaging
double that in kills.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24479

Individual
     neutrinos, neutrino beams,
something more complex?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24480

I like it. Fear is
     what pushes them off the cliff,
not stopping power.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24481

Normally I dislike
     "misread this as" comments, but
yours was exquisite.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24482

Looks great. How do you
     get the moss to take root on
the driftwood like that?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24484

It's not very fun
     to deal with them in real life.
Are you born abroad?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24485

San Soo teaches moves
     that work from a seated or
laying position.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24486

It was obscene how
     many of those books I had...
Wish I still had them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24487

I will now await
     the arrival of children
& youth services.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24488

Am I the only
     one who has no idea
what a Snapper is?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24489

Sometimes they can point
     you in the right direction.
That's what they're there for.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24490

He commits a crime,
     he gets the same punishment
as anyone else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24632

Should I delete this?
     Oh I would absolutely
agree with you there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24633

And "they" also know
     everyone's social graph just
based on phone records.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24634

Asians in my school
     are so much better than math
than everyone else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #23873

Is *that* sarcasm?
     Anyhow, I am very
serious indeed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24635

Mostly they save it.
     That's why you don't see much job
creation from them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24636

[deleted] Guess I'll
     just have to invest more time
in Training Mode then.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24637

Can't believe I got
     that wrong, ill just chalk it up
to being lazy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24639

The OP is simply
     providing a tool to those
who wish to use it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24641

That's why I said sans
     Gilbert Grape. He was at his
best in that movie.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24642

Get some ground rules, too.
     Pick a place where you will fight
(hint: not the bedroom).

Score: 0          

Haiku #24643

I'm hoping to be
     good enough in a few months
to make that happen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24644

I was like, "for real?"
     She claimed that they were the best
band EVER. For real?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24645

This is what happens
     when you have Republicans
controlling the south.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24646

There wasn't much time
     for them to build up too much.
But, like I said, "cute".

Score: 0          

Haiku #24647

Caddyshack? there aren't
     many actresses who wear
their real hair color.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24648

Then, I finally
     relax and start obsessing
about something else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24649

[deleted] I didn't
     find him funny at all, just
loud and obnoxious.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24650

for more than a few
     days) you can experience
"rebound congestion."

Score: 0          

Haiku #24651

Sitting in dark rooms
     at the computer is when
I'm my most depressed!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24652

Taking a bend or
     two extra at full speed won't
be a problem. Thanks!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24653

I want to believe
     he died after that, for his
own sake. Oh hell yeah.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24654

If they're mixing tabs
     and spaces it shouldn't be
considered correct.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24655

The Matrix is just
     about a perfect movie
in terms of the plot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24656

Trolling isn't when
     someone says something you don't
like, you idiot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24657

The online ones are
     easy to max out once you
get the hang of it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24658

The New Essential
     Chronology pretty much
says it best. Thank you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24659

On the other hand,
     the officer in question
could have been fired.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24660

Also accurate.
     You have to have Dish Network
to use this. How lame.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24661

hypothetical
     answers, "well the evidence
is all around you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24662

I do understand
     your stance on what you do or
would feed your pets, though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24663

Pretty nice of him
     to insult the people who
give him a paycheck.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24664

That's just my two cents.
     Doesn't Epic offer help
for finding housing?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24665

If it's not then it's
     your pride that is the problem.
Not any one else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24666

nobody in here
     (aside from you maybe) is
doubting who she is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24667

I'm in college now
     and have been considering
picking it back up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24668

Indeed, still cool though/
     Check my thread. What's your Steam ID?
My thoughts exactly.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24669

I present myself
     well, do a good job when I'm
here, etc.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24670

TV numbers are
     more important then selling
tickets most likely.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24671

Doesn't mean you do.
     In fact, it doesn't really
even mean you should.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24672

This also confirms
     the 1280x720 screen on the vigor,
should be exciting.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24673

Only downside is
     you cant fit cards w/
protectors in them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24674

No time thank god, might
     have something to do with me
not being a sheep...

Score: 0          

Haiku #24675

He cites no sources
     for his claims, and gives no straight
concrete ideas.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24676

I'm looking forward
     to the day I make the leap
to buy one myself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24677

Desperado I'll
     see if I can make it. So?
Who cares what she says?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24678

Your wife should have been
     smoking when she was pregnant.
Weed is so harmless.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24679

Mine must be low on
     batteries or tired or
something lol.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24680

I think your boyfriend
     really needs to move out one
way or another.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24681

And you even went
     so far as to pay them 50c
more than the tag price!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24682

You won't see any
     difference if your calories
are the same. Yup this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24683

Maybe as we get
     closer to release they will
increase the delay.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24684

(A man in night cap
     and gown (with sergeant stripes) is
kneeling by a bed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24685

As a whole, that is
     the impression I got from
being on the board.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24686

That is basically
     totally opposite of what
is happening with Drive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24687

I think you're either
     being an ass or you're not
very logical.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24688

But driving in rain
     should be something that shouldn't
be that difficult.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24689

[deleted] Yeah, sad
     part is we're supposed to be
his voice of reason.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24690

Happens a lot more
     than we think I'm sure, gang life
is really messed up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #37583

Fortunately that's
     the icon I was using
before, anyway.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24691

Im sure she will get
     into it soon, she also
wants to switch to fixed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24692

I have a nice car
     and the two that precede me
are even nicer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24693

Seeing people hang
     their feet out the car window
drives me up a wall.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24694

If it is very
     good one, it has knocked off all
the competitors.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24695

No matter! Call us!
     Our rates are quite reasonable!
Need a Regime Changed?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24696

I love Hillary
     Duff songs. The lyrics are so...
just so genius. Deep.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24697

He. Murdered. Children.
     He took a boat! have you guys
not heard of these things?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24698

The information
     will still travel faster than
c. What's wrong with that?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24699

I've definitely
     gotten more interest from girls
now that I've lost weight.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24700

Time away from work
     helps you be more productive
while you are at work.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24840

Just go, be open
     to learn, be humble, ask good
questions, and have fun.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24841

How... predictable.
     It's like they aren't even trying
to hide the end game.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24843

Even the normally
     empty motel parking lot
near us was near full.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24844

I'm fairly certain
     I'm now in love with the guy
in the last photo.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24845

Spending less than you
     make does not imply that you
need to work a lot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24846

You definitely
     take life too seriously.
Seconded. Great point!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24847

We are actually trying
     to be just as important
to casual gamers.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24848

Your ear interprets
     this as the difference in tone
between the pitches.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24849

Sorry I couldn't
     understand you with that cock
in your mouth, speak up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24850

One can only hope
     he he doesn't have children
and put them through that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24851

That said, yes people
     still want more dollars even
if they are worth half.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24852

Prison rape isn't
     condoned nor is it allowed
in any prison.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24853

I just checked again
     and it translates directly
into "cry on moose".

Score: 0          

Haiku #24854

Smoking and salting
     are methods used for storing
meat for the winter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24855

Sounds like my friends mom
     only she'd offer a joint
for us to clean house.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24856

I generally hate
     all condiments, including
most salad dressings.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24857

There is another
     pond near by with no structures.
Its a concrete pond.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24858

"I literally jumped
     for joy" means that you actually
did jump in the air.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24859

-W Adams.
     You did a little more than
that, fucking asshole.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24860

You did a little
     more than that, fucking asshole.
Well, cut it open!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24861

Driving is a bit
     rough here, there's a lot of wild
drivers, so watch out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24862

Just two people who
     understand that opinions
are not absolutes!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24863

Your last paragraph
     I already asserted
my reasoning for.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24864

[deleted] Ok,
     sorry I was describing
having just your arms.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24865

You can get some good
     finds out there, especially if
you're working out there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24866

I'd ask how you found
     this video, but I don't
think I want to know.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24867

I get cold called by
     head hunters on a weekly
basis if not more.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24868

The punishment is
     what the parent decides, not
one that fits the crime.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24869

Good call. [deleted]
     THIS IS GREAT, I GET TO START
MY TRASH TALK EARLY.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24870

Then our lazy ass
     parents partied and did blow
through 60s, 70s, and 80s.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24871

Particles separate,
     either via collision
or breaking apart.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24872

But it DIDN'T. My god
     all the way to Ottawa
from Quebec city?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24873

You just have to get
     the powdered form and then put
your own water in.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24874

I walk out. fuck it,
     I'm not dealing with this shit
on my wedding day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24875

They look like the cream
     accents on the frame. Nice bike!
The not shaving part.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24876

So the prices are
     still controlled to some degree
towards that target price?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24877

EDIT: added links
     [deleted] He should have gone
as Penguin my god!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24878

[deleted] I'd like
     to be able to enjoy
the halftime show though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24879

Alas! Look elsewhere
     For there is a serial
spider behind you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24880

I've been eating whole
     wheat bread as well as oatmeal,
shredded wheat, and fruit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24881

I opened the door
     and inside was a wet suit
hanging just like that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24882

Do you have any
     actual data or are you
just ranting again?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24883

Otherwise trap him
     in the bathroom until you
hear the toilet flush.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24884

They look like the cream
     accents on the frame. Nice bike!
Aw, you shouldn't be!

Score: 0          

Haiku #24885

Is anyone else
     getting chills? What a turn out!
This will change the world.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24886

So yes, you driving
     like an asshole is money
out of my pocket.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24887

Otherwise trap him
     in the bathroom until you
hear the toilet flush.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24888

Games and most programs
     can run over ethernet
fairly decently.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24889

Link me though and I'll
     take a look at the details
when I get a chance.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24890

We could certainly
     use someone with a teaching
background for pointers.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24891

Well that sucks, I was
     hoping things like that would be
better around here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24892

Do you have any
     actual data or are you
just ranting again?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24893

This is very cool.
     I look forward to seeing
how it develops.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24894

I really do. Oh,
     sorry, I really screwed up
that whole "reading" thing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24895

And next year, I'll be
     focusing on who I'll be
the year after that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24896

This kind of thinking
     is what allowed the Nazis
to come to power.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24897

With a runner on
     first, the batter hits a foul
fly ball near the stands.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24898

Some great professors
     along the way, but also
some terrible ones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24900

I notice this dude
     in a caveman costume has
been following us.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24901

He pulled back and said
     what the fuck are you doing?
I had no response...

Score: 0          

Haiku #24902

Again, I believe
     she broke it, but that probably
depends on the state.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24903

Great stream. Sound advice
     AND made me laugh. I am all
about your approach.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24904

Black should be the last
     one connected and the first
one disconnected.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24905

It really is quite
     lovely what animals can
do and mean to us.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24906

I'm really hoping
     you're gonna tell me you found
'em online somewhere.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24907

A bro needs to be
     prepared for the imminent
separation, bro.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24908

The only things you
     should be concerned about are:
Do you like the house?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24909

Think of all the junk
     cards you easily can pull
instead of a Roach.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24910

Still, kudos for good
     grammar and not resorting
to profanity.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24982

And what about you?
     Do you exercise at all
and eat a lot too?

Score: 0          

Haiku #24983

Thanks a lot, I think
     I either get it now or
I've gone all silly.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24984

That's a whole ONE stun
     more than everyone else" Pick
myrmidon instead.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24985

Treat yo self. Thank you!
     With the wrangler, I NEVER
stand by my sentry.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24986

Your friend Aquinas
     is nothing substantial or
even noteworthy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24987

Sat in the last row
     with my back against the wall.
It was AMAZING.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24988

It's more than enough
     for save files but not very
useful otherwise.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24989

I've never heard that.
     Are you sure? This is probably
just due diligence.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24990

I knew girls can't get
     spontaneous orgasms!
I kinda agree.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24991

If you truly need
     help, let me know, and I'll help
you get your parts made.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24992

I haven't tried it,
     but my local library
has Kindle lending.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24993

Suck it up until
     you're stronger then him and then
make fun of him back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24994

"TIL" isn't really
     necessary for current or
unfolding events.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24995

It's amazing how
     easy losing weight becomes
once you realize this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #24996

That oily shit just
     doesn't melt right, and I hate
the taste. That sounds low.

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:28 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.