Reddit Haikus

That oily shit just
     doesn't melt right, and I hate
the taste. That sounds low.

These are things people
     never meant to do and are
sorry for doing.

That is really smart.
     "How many accounts have been
so far" "*answer*" "...welp.

Is it THAT fucking
     difficult for kids to NOT
have peanut butter?

It comes from playing
     games that use too much Skinner
box psychology.

Just message me here
     and we'll exchange info if
someone has any.

Why? Why can we not
     work to fix *all* of the things
we think are broken?

You're the **bigger** twin.
     Be the alpha. Just fuck him
up, and he will stop.

but when a man does
     anything to a woman:
"FUCK HIM! HE'S EVIL.

Everyone who wants
     to lose weight should follow you
as an example!

Crime rate is pretty
     high, although it has lowered
the past couple years.

Anything I say
     you'll dismiss because it does
not agree with you.

(That does not negate
     the **fact** that I did indeed
acknowledge my quote.

He'd start hitting you
     about the legs until you
bent over a bed.

but when a man does
     anything to a woman:
"FUCK HIM! HE'S EVIL.

Look at the massive
     amount of air pollution
in all their cities.

Good day, and you will
     never hear from me again,
GET DEMOLISHED SON!

It's not like my friends
     have funny accents either
that it can't pick up.

It sounds gross but all
     the "smart people" seem to come
to this conclusion.

YOU ARE AMAZING!
     This is really inspiring!
Keep up the good work!

Give me one of those
     famous giant Reese's I've
heard so much about.

For anyone who
     is not completely braindead,
it's a pointless change.

Hopefully more will
     see it now and get angry.
This guy needs to pay.

They were the vikings
     who raped and pillaged their way
through northern Britain.

He let a fart out.
     I said "lol" out loud,
washed my hands and left.

detecting, damn phone.
     Yeah, but the groundhog won't call
the police on me.

Up agin a wall.
     Up agin a wall in da
middle of a field.

Do you have any
     actual evidence showing
that *I* haven't been?

At least my fellow
     civilians don't claim the laws
don't apply to them.

I apologize
     for my lack of clarity
bro, please forgive me.

Damn. That usually
     what i opt for, I just say
i want to stop by.

If you're simply good
     and skillful, there is no way
you won't be noticed.

Noted. Thanks. SPOILER!!!
     :P yeah I looked it up right
after my comment.

It's scary at first,
     but you have to be okay
with disappointment.

To be fair, Jack tries
     to bang (or at least flirts with)
almost *everything*.

That'll shut him up.
     Stinks like shit though [deleted]
Oh hey, look at that.

That is where Northern
     Ireland is. A complete mess.
[deleted] replied.

The second day off
     gave the new auto owners
time to drive around.

Oh look, another
     believer in "male privilege,
female oppression".

Quick video if
     you have no idea who
im talking about.

This key ring seems great,
     and one of my main interests
is the crafting skills.

That gives these fuckers
     the right to point guns at them,
and fuck their plane up?

Maybe we should get
     the bucket back, or you could
pour the lava in.

But then, they know me
     and they know I'm not bothered
by it. That's shitty....

I managed to run
     about a half mile further
than my usual.

The sister (my aunt)
     introduced them and they've been
together since then.

new strategy, sap
     ALL the upgrading sentries.
We'll see. Time will tell.

How long a cop can
     keep you depends on how long
he wants to keep you.

One of these things just
     don't belong here, one of these
things is kind of strange!

You've successfully
     created a distinction
without a difference.

Many rifles look
     quite similar but that is
for sure not an M1.

If you're in the States
     you can usually find them
on Target's website.

This is standard less
     pussy, less terrible bro.
Hold the fucking phone.

Not that dramatic
     weight fluctuations make or
break a performance.

That only happens
     if someone in corporate has
access to the logs.

This video is
     seven years old, which is well
beyond that limit.

The community
     doesn't want any of you
as moderators.

It's nothing special,
     but it's something to do once
if you have the chance.

Would it make you mad
     if I told you that I was?
For shame, it's not true.

I don't think you need
     to beat yourself up about
any of those things!

And he is probably
     doing what he did to you
with his new girlfriend.

The girl you're judging
     because she's struggling to get
homework done in class?

Then (I know this will
     sound SUPER weird) INTRODUCE
YOURSELF! I know, right?

"I'm in this wheelchair
     because my legs don't work." "Yeah!?
Prove it! Try and stand!"

My dearest lady,
     I am not your shining knight,
just a normal guy.

It sounded really
     bizarre on the radio
or without visuals.

The fact that people
     are so stuck in their blind hate
infuriates me.

When I was in fourth
     or fifth grade my teacher found
out she had cancer.

I guess I'm just used
     to Steam standards, as they get
fixes within hours.

Actually, atheism
     is (or ought to be) the claim
that there is no God.

They wouldn't be if
     the entire division
wasn't in shambles.

That includes letting
     users decide on how much
votes and help they get.

This is what happens
     when you fuck a Brazilian
Marshal in the ass!

They make it to me,
     and my uncle puts his hand
up for a high five.

That wasn't a tree,
     it was a pretty lady
on the street. Oh, man.

What do you parents
     think about the path you chose?
Do they support you?

Start taking a coat
     to school next week, it's gonna
get chilly as fuck.

He found my sign by
     the bonfire, which is not
where I had put it.

What does this make you
     for believing him? You're in!
Details to follow.

The Slippery Noodle
     is close to there, so start there
and head to the lot.

This isn't about
     being in or out of love.
It's about deceit.

A "good real man" should
     not be a precondition
for her happiness.

Like you said, when you're
     flicking through and browsing what
you wanna roll with.

Just think of it like
     saying "the third or fifth house
down the block from mine".

How could I refuse
     the chance to hang with other
game collectors like me?

I'm more up to date
     with local and global news
and I'm never bored.

Besides, whoever
     is answering the calls is
there to answer calls.

Business is what runs
     all sports and that is what comes
first and always has.

But, apparently
     my toothpaste might be able
to kill come people.

Give me your best shot,
     sir, for I can haiku, too!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

If the innocent
     man is found guilty he will
be executed.

I do. It's small, but
     I love that it's close enough
to get to quickly.

It's a state of mind.
     Definitely looking good,
good luck with your game.

When he bends forwards
     grab his ears and smash your knee
hard into his nose.

When you do it right,
     the nose bone will do severe
damage to the brain.

Here, ignore the first
     question and let me tell you
what I'm trying to do.

Thanks! Damn immigrant
     taking our jobs of selling
high grade weaponry!

Unless you plan on
     dying in the next five years,
get ready to pay.

I know another
     guy that wants to be a cop.
Also really nice.

Also really nice.
     Every cop I've talked with has
been really nice too.

If you do care what
     is true, then how can you be
satisfied with "faith"?

They're considered high
     risk and they command a much
higher interest rate.

Lesson: if you're not
     paying for a service, you're
not the customer.

Just because you weren't
     forced to sit in 15A doesn't
mean there is no 15A.

I am the winner?
     I knew I could best your wit
I demand your wife.

Some of you may know
     his name already from his
radio program.

The story you linked
     was first reported on fox.
already read it.

She still looks white there.
     How long ago did she stop
being hispanic?

Does anyone else
     not really care for that song?
The rest are great though.

:D Yep. Being friends
     makes them think it was okay.
That was not okay.

Religion can cause
     good, in the sense that it is
the proximate cause.

San Andres came out
     almost exactly two years
after Vice City.

I'm not saying you
     did anything, and I'm sure
he was out of line.

Anyway I'm not
     going to go back and forth
with you all day here.

Your math has a flaw
     At least I think it just might.
I'm not good with math.

Small chin; I just don't
     like a guy with a square head,
just doesn't suit me.

So Pakistanis
     and Japanese are the same?
[deleted] I like!

every time they bang
     their hands on something there would
be a honking noise.

In fact, it should be
     the most simple thing ever
stated, don't you think?

I feel like this whole
     thing was designed to appeal
to stoned atheists.

Travelling by train? Brick.
     Going into a highrise
on the ground floor? Brick.

pure fucking crazy.
     I give him the nobel prize
in uh... Chemistry.

You do not know how
     much that means to me to hear
that somebody cares.

He looks almost fake
     That's because "trolling" is not
used in the "real" world.

[deleted] Hey man.
     A lotta times with tattoo
backgrounds, less is more.

Doesn't change the fact
     that I tend to get along
great with my bosses.

Everything else is
     free and they never prompt you
to buy that either.

Deciding you don't
     want to go there anyway
is not the same thing.

I just use rubber
     bands and tin foil I don't smoke
weed but I subscribed!

If it's not working
     for him, he needs to man up
and end it for good.

This was the opposite,
     I couldn't get the damn thing
to *not* use pressure.

Superpowers or
     dick drops off. love your eyes Yes.
Do this a few times.

I'm just one voice, but
     I wasn't using it when
I replied to you.

To make it worse, there
     was no music playing or
radio at all.

But it seems you didn't
     come here to really debate,
did you? AHH I'M BLIND!!!

Well, I can thank you
     for leading me to find out
I was misinformed.

No. NO. NO NO NO
     NO NO No. No. NO. NO NO
NO NO NO No. No.

NO. NO NO NO NO
     NO No. No. NO. NO NO NO
NO NO No. No. NO.

NO. NO NO NO NO
     NO No. No. NO. NO NO NO
NO NO No. No. NO.

No. NO. NO NO NO
     NO NO No. No. NO. NO NO
NO NO NO No. No.

NO. NO NO NO NO
     NO No. No. NO. NO NO NO
NO NO No. No. NO.

No. NO. NO NO NO
     NO NO No. No. NO. NO NO
NO NO NO No. No.

NO. NO NO NO NO
     NO No. No. NO. NO NO NO
NO NO No. No. NO.

NO NO NO NO NO
     No. No. NO. NO NO NO NO
NO FUCKING HELL no.

Smoke weed everyday,
     move out west, and take the girl
you date next with you.

I loved the vaults, but
     felt like there was A TON more
potential for them.

Your fingers may freeze,
     worse things happen at sea, there's
good times to be had.

Good players on teams
     know that when the smoke is up,
you run your ass off.

You won't be able
     to convince them all at one
time, though, if ever.

That is perfectly
     acceptable (depending
on who you talk to).

If you don't like it,
     I would seek out some other
kind of support group.

You? The problem is
     that the government isn't
like YOUR government.

Businesses aren't all
     corporations receiving
record high profits.

Hey I saved your ass
     at various metal shows;
so show some respect.

It was (and still is)
     very hard for me to wrap
my head around that.

/end rant Well are you
     looking for great games to watch,
or games to learn from?

This is another
     tactic to bring the people
under their power.

They didn't play with each
     other much, but there we no
issues the whole night.

They didn't play with each
     other much, but there we no
issues the whole night.

[deleted] But that's
     the thing with nothingness, you
won't care when you're there.

Eye doctor comes in,
     fixes thousands of patients
eyes in a few days.

I mean really, it's
     literally just a butt we're
talking about here.

They didn't play with each
     other much, but there we no
issues the whole night.

The only advice
     I can give you is to watch
Sons of anarchy.

WHY ARE YOU YELLING?
     My roommate just asked me why
I'm licking my lips.

When you first started
     making screen prints, where did you
learn how to do it?

Why bother going
     if it's going to offend
you or your children?

It's not a human,
     just some cells, she can produce
more cells tomorrow.

Snapping necks, biting
     throats and just ripping to shreds.
So satisfying!

Chain's deep looks were off
     in the first half and they played
the world's slowest zone.

At no point did you
     really lead to exactly
why it's always wrong.

Make more sense? I am
     not sure that song would have fit
in on that Album.

You probably aren't here
     for advice, but you sound like
you could use a joint.

But i can never
     remember anything by
the time i get dressed.

There's a big difference
     between almost and actually
certainly knowing.

You aren't different from
     other people who gain weight,
you're just eating less.

My psychedelic
     life has always been deeply
rooted in music.

[](/c03) Find art majors.
     Ask art profs about any
interested students.

This guy is actually
     on our side, why would we want
to make him look bad?

This gravy train is
     going to be consistent
with one game a year.

Thanks again though. :D
     [deleted] Thanks! I clearly
remember that one.

Do you mean "mi chi"?
     I buy Robinsons Barley
Water in Kroger.

Except people *have*
     been tortured by terrorists.
You know, in real life.

I liked that. Nice life!
     Fuck that, wear them anyway.
Haters gonna hate.

[I really can't add
     anything here that hasn't
already been said.

But I could hope all
     I want; hopes are just ashes
before they're burned, man.

If you're in your late
     20's now be responsible
and man the fuck up.

Step one: mechanics.
     This is the easiest thing,
but takes the longest.

I'm thinking about
     how depressed I've been feeling.
How alone I feel.

They can't really spin
     this either way, it isn't
that kind of story.

His art and sculptures
     have a very Tim Burton
feel (if you dig that).

If you got that script
     from earlier, you may be
able to see this.

Fair enough, good point.
     Better make sure I land on
the grass if I fall.

Guy Miracle Jones
     sounds pretty bad ass to me.
[deleted] Almost.

She was in a bad
     situation, so were they.
They are both to blame.

When I considered
     myself a Christian I was
terrified of death.

I don't know what you're
     so angry about but please
take it somewhere else.

Being presented
     with a group of choices seemed
kind of neat to me.

It took my mom three
     hours to find me, all the could
hear was my crying.

That's what Jehovah's
     Witnesses teach. Yep, made no
sense to me either.

Also, you don't know
     as much as you think you do.
[deleted] really?