Reddit Haikus

For army people
     to do the harsh stuff, Sanchez
had to approve it.

They're heavy duty
     canvas, reinforce, with two
layers on the front.

When you screw up you
     get punished in one way shape
or form. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Then each of you try
     things that the other likes, but
you haven't tried yet.

I get the same looks
     as you do by the way, but
probably not as much.

Cell companies are
     the new cigarettes That is
seriously fucked.

He demonstrated
     exactly how he _isn't_
pushing the limits.

Therefore, 8.5x11 is not
     legal (because it's Letter).
It's this man's birthday.

When it comes to work,
     I barely ask for smoke breaks.
I'm not entitled.

Anyway, I'm just
     going to go play some great
PC fighting games.

At my school there were
     posters all over the place
for meetings of clubs.

Adorable! *Take
     your finger off the right mouse
button* Problem solved.

If you and your dude
     want to have period sex,
then great. Go at it.

Yes it is, they just
     block it another way by
taking it over.

The papers all go
     to one person who reads them
to the question guy.

Use some to figure
     out how to invest your $180k
to make you money.

Too many people,
     too many uninteresting
chain stores and restaurants.

And apparently
     even the Republicans
can't stomach Romney.

Has the movement been
     unjustly persecuted
in China? Perhaps.

I also think swerve
     was a bit below the curve
in terms of power.

And when it has gone
     past I will turn the inner
eye to see its path.

My heart bleeds for you.
     It is known. Man, seems like these
things are EVERYWHERE.

Frankly we all do
     things that are dangerous while
in automobiles.

I don't even care
     about your post, but I cracked
up at the title.

That doesn't make sense.
     You don't lose your knighthood when
you get your birthright.

Go topless and just
     don't give a fuck about what
other people think.

Simple software free
     way, hover over the file
and wait for the size.

She has accomplished
     wonders, i'm sure you will be
able to as well.

The rich would have less
     money but they'd still have more
than everyone else.

When have you ever
     even considered BONGOS
in a metal band?

But I don't think that's
     reason enough for women
to hide their gender.

Surround sound and 720p
     OTA for free. [deleted]
Really? Then what is?

My friend used to sing
     "This land is my land, that land
is your land." Works now!

You wish a naked
     hot chick like that was pulling
you by your johnson.

[deleted] Dammit
     I wanted to post this here.
Great article though.

Looks like somebody
     took a dump on your pancakes....
Mine hasn't done that.

Makes a good landmark.
     i swear, i saw this couple
weeks ago... Really?

If people followed
     this mindset we would still be
in the dark ages.

On the playground is
     where I spent most of my days.
Came here to say that.

Martin Luther King
     Blvd. street sign Where did
this number come from?

have a defined goal.
     lift x weight, lose x pounds, be
able to do y.

Sweet! Thanks for the link!
     Not hypocritical since
those are his movies.

What, did somebody
     buy you a dictionary
for Christmas asshole?

Are there so many
     babies out there that just rage
at this game all day?

Therefore the law, no
     matter what it says, cannot
be used to do that.

Maybe in the Deep
     South, but that's nowhere you want
to be anyways.

I have friends that went
     from classical piano
to jazz piano.

Thanks I tell you one
     thing I accumulated
was bees and insects.

He just wants to be
     happy, but he's not and can't
ever be again.

Not really slang, but
     I hate it when people don't
know what old school is.

I can remember
     exactly what the carpet
felt like on my back.

Rape cannot. And, just
     wondering, how would they know
how much the phone was?

I love my nieces
     and nephews, but some people
just shouldn't have kids.

You should spend more time
     fishing and, with the proceeds,
buy a bigger boat.

Just use three or four
     such that it's obvious what
the intention was.

Or better yet, take
     the pedals off, grease the threads
and put them back on.

I want you to know
     that I think your attitude
is really awesome.

[deleted] That's all
     accounted for the broken
windows fallacy.

[deleted] Packers
     beat Steelers with Driver hurt,
Finley out, Grant out.

Rebuilt from the ground
     up, the only thing I didn't
do was shoot the paint.

Primavera has
     fresh vegetables and no eggs.
[deleted] Me too.

Dang this sounds awesome!
     I'd have a lot to share but
will be out of town.

is well worth the price.
     You can also save it, but
who are we kidding.

Yes, please, don't address
     any of the issues raised
in the article.

Maybe someone does
     share your interests and you are
assuming they don't.

that guy is a jerk,
     the artist who made those just
released them last year!!

walls are one thing, but
     art is another go stick
your head in a pig!

It was one of those
     books that I just couldn't get
through for some reason.

We don't know how much
     norwegian is in him though,
he adopted us.

You don't need a set
     leader to make these calls, but
you can if you want.

Our brains can really
     fuck our genitals over
like that, it's not fair.

Tough choice. I think you
     probably went the wrong way on
that one. Ha, busted.

Plane tickets across
     the ocean (either one) cost
thousands of dollars.

If that were true, I'd
     have gotten luckier there.
You're not of much help.

There is no such thing
     as a Palestinian
military force.

Even if he has
     to be in the box, it won't
be for the season.

This doesn't always
     carry so well once you put
in a 3D engine.

(I hope that made sense,
     let me know if it didn't) Wow!
Some bad answers here.

Some people from all
     kinds of countries, especially
big ones don't travel.

China has really
     big problems that are being
masked because of growth.

It's a mistrial....
     which means he's going to be
tried again, correct?

Works for me on just
     about any video
game or motor skill.

This puts a ceiling
     on how big it can be but
makes things much simpler.

The American
     issue is that we don't *take*
those vacation days.

I do recycle,
     but there are still resources
lost in the process.

If you're not running
     any brakes, 700cc will make
your life easier.

I personally think
     some kind of nuclear war
is bound to happen.

Mine was recorded
     and I was able to take
home the recording.

Doing the laundry.
     If it's a small load you can
just do it by hand.

Man, it's too bad there's
     nowhere to watch TV shows
on the internet....

I wasn't going
     to do anything beyond
what the offer me.

Just because the girl
     doesn't like it, doesn't mean
you should rule it out.

I'm gonna fight 'em
     off The salvation army
couldn't hold me back.

However, you could
     send me an email and I'll
be happy with that.

If I need to do
     homework, I'll work my nuts off
and get that shit done.

Oomph. I don't know if
     I can find it, I'll edit
this post if I do.

It's time to convert
     to Harry Potter They ARE
productive, for them.

What the hell are those
     supposed to be, anyway?
rich kids do get jobs.

What bothers me most
     is how uncomfortable
that must feel... just ouch.

[Oh wow never seen
     this I guess, funny I don't
see any glass here.

your mother will show
     you the bills, i guess i will
take out the trash now.

Direct mailings are
     good for the economy
in multiple ways.

[deleted] But it's
     proportional to his rear
end so it's all good.

I've always wanted
     to try this but cooling is
my biggest concern.

I am still amazed
     that after a fall like that,
he was so stoic.

If I cheat, I pay
     the price via numerous
trips to the toilet.

Amen. The heavy
     lines really make it, what did
you do for the fill?

Its not like you need
     to eat the dirt all the time,
its a one time thing.

If it's anything
     like that brand it smells like brown
sugar and nutmeg.

I think we may be
     missing the big picture here.
What the *fuck* was that?!?

"Hey, buddy! I hate
     vegans, wear leather, and hate
tofu *just like you!

Against my better
     judgement I'm going to play
Devil's advocate.

[deleted] I thought
     I was the only person
who was bugged by this.

And definitely
     no hair brushing as that just
makes it much, much worse.

Exactly, now I'm
     white, and skinny. Just an oops.
That would be awesome!

Why go to the moon
     when we have a perfectly
good planet with air?

So ladies take note..
     we're not that young anymore..
we've seen boobs before.

There are some counties
     where residential building
permits don't exist.

But I don't think that's
     necessarily the point
you were trying to make.

I love your glasses.
     Contacts are nice to have but
glasses aren't taboo.

Assuming no drugs
     or coercion went into
getting her consent.

That's hilarious.
     you just be careful and don't
use shitty polish.

Ideally, if you
     get hit, you want to go up
and over the car.

Had to sign over
     rights that allows them to do
as they wish with it.

But I, personally,
     wouldn't do it, and look down
on people who do.

Thanks a lot! You should
     give him a shiny nickle
either way. No good.

I'm sorry about
     your loss, and I'm sure you'll be
great parents someday.

My friend commented
     that that was the most manly
I had ever looked.

If you wear a big
     puffy jacket, chances are
you are being watched.

It won't always work,
     but it did for me! Good luck!!
Don't accept free drinks.

Why is it absurd?
     Do you think that you have no
choice in what you do?

Now searching for Sex
     pistols stickers Why don't you
open up a shop?

Also, the best thing
     I've ever seen at Walmart
was at the deli.

Sounds like someone wants
     to not be a generic
black guy anymore.

[deleted] This was
     actually done about a year
and a half ago.

They don't. Then the shut
     down their site and we don't get
anymore comics.

[deleted] You are
     aware that you're hurting them
by doing this eh?

So glad they killed her
     off, did not care about her
and the damn rape gangs.

Shouldn't it have been
     Ice and Fire? And then like Game
and Throne? Clash and King?

Got me weird looks when
     ordering at a breakfast
diner as a kid.

Where did you move to?
     Don't know if serious or
being sarcastic.

Westbrook too. Just wait
     until he finds out about
"The Book of Mormon".

I can't do it on
     demand, and now it doesn't
happens too often.

There may be other
     ways to do this, but this is
the way I did it.

Now every full moon
     she roams the forests, feasting
on innocent plants?

Just keep bringing things
     to their attention that might
be ways around it.

For some reason though
     I keep getting these urges
to read it again.

You will encounter
     weirdos who clean up the place
before you get there.

Since we don't know how
     the outside world looks, we can't
really know for sure.

Keep your finger off
     the trigger until your sights
are on the target.

I tell her, "No ma'am,
     I can assure you I'm not
targeting your child.

She hits the roof, "Oh,
     so you're saying my child is
stupid is that it?

You can't quite place it,
     but it is there nonetheless,
gnawing in your brain.

There is nothing wrong
     with you, brother, that is not
wrong with all of us.

I don't even think
     using as a service dog
is a good reason.

IMO much better
     to rescue an adult who's
traits have stabilized.

*When your mom's snatch is
     as wide, as a big pizza
pie, she's a whore, eh?

She's a joke". This was
     in regards to the Margaret
Thatcher incident.

Do you really think
     your case is the same for all
other businesses?

Yay! You found...17 so far!
     Is there anywhere that road
closures are listed?

But this trailer is
     just insulting by saying
this is a "NEW" game.

You are to be praised
     young lady, not discouraged!!!!!!
Keep on studying!!

The worst random adds
     are the kids that literally
beg you for your stuff.

Beyond that, the spines
     actually kill other units
that try to get in.

So you are making
     out for me that I simply
don't want to learn French.

If anyone is
     in doubt, read up on Dave Tate's
advice for bench form.

There are many more
     causes of sexual pain
than just a hymen.

(I usually don't)
     you are elegant and look
like model to me.

This was written on
     my way to work, so my brain
was a little slow.

Teach the boy to like
     the foods you like that your wife
doesn't ever buy.

They don't use ancient
     special effects in movies
for the same reason.

Will Jenny get mad
     I know I would kill for those
tickets thanks buddy.

Because the moment
     you get to the bathroom is
done gone disappeared.

[deleted] WHY DOES
     IT HAVE TO BE RED!!!?!!!? I bought
the bike from a friend.

what basis are you
     saying that Love is War is
the official name?

Perhaps we do not
     know what gives fulfillment Get
padded underwear.

The door was open
     for a moment and he just
made a break for it.

Please note that he has
     not been "assassinated,"
at least not as yet.

And how does it talk?
     Sad thing is, I'm not surprised
that you're not surprised.

Mine had a bookshelf
     knocked onto it in its first
month (stupid roommate...).

As long as your mouth
     and nose aren't covered too then
you won't suffocate.

Repeat after me:
     Orient. Oriented.
Orientation.

[Here's another brit
     who was a little too far
ahead of his time.

It is my respect
     to give, not yours, and I will
give it where I choose.

[deleted] I can
     also say that it also
depends on the store.

...too mean If you did
     that anywhere in Scotland,
I'd fear for their life.

Personally I would
     *not* like this to be private...
only restricted.

Our high school level
     education is crap though
in my opinion.

Why did you move? Damn,
     I'm out of town. Best of luck
to everyone else.

My only hope is
     there's a video around
here somewhere of it.

Oh colleges, why
     must you look so wonderful
with your cinder block?

I think a good start
     for that would be term limits
and entrance exams.

Okay, criticize
     my choice or the artwork, but
doubt that they are real?

Haven't played for weeks
     even after coming back
from a hiatus.

I was pretty much
     like "Eh, one more chapter then
I could go to sleep".

no one should be forced
     to spend more money on their
kids than they want to.

If management was
     behind you that never would
have been a problem.

Honky Tonk Women.
     Belted out as Honky Tonk
*Willy*. Full volume.

when trolling, or trying
     to figure out if person
is just plain stupid.

I'll happily come
     to america and punch
some sense into him.

and even then, good
     chance she'll lose interest as soon
as she's got you back.