Reddit Haikus

And every dog you
     own from now on will be called
Rex. Well, that's frightening.

Three years from now, there
     are new versions of Windows,
Mac OS and Linux.

Yeah... how fortunate
     that the bomb worked splendidly
with minimum fuss.

Rooting for Victor
     but i have feeling floyd will
take care of business.

Come to think of it,
     I pronounce "watt" and "what" quite
differently, as well.

I reached up and tried
     to grab a fistful of air
after watching this.

Was he bothered by
     the choice your mother made or
did he pity her?

Maybe that should be
     my new Sunday tradition.
Donuts, man. Donuts.

As I said, I *did*
     learn to crank out solutions,
but that came later.

Funny thing is is
     that Cracked seems to be doing
better than Mad now.

The recent happenings
     in Libya point that out.
"Unless you're Jewish."

Sorry to ramble
     about this introspective
moment I'm having...

One of the many
     things that irks me about big
corporate entities.

That's why you apply
     to good Colleges and good
Universities.

I earned it because
     I'm as smooth as a baby's
nuts, obviously.

I lost it. Let's just
     say she left my house slightly
more slapped than she came.

I couldn't afford
     to go abroad, but I'd still
have a holiday.

Sexy things! What are
     sexy things? You should know that!
Even if you don't!

Even if you don't!
     What sort of situations?
You should know that too!

You should know that too!
     No I won't be clear because
you are sexist. Right.

Question everything.
     Don't run with scissors. Try not
to eat yellow snow.

Bi The problem is
     that these don't fit very well
with the other songs.

I seriously
     doubt you're laughing out loud four
times in one sentence.

**Holy fuck**, this is
     like all my karma right here
in one shot. THANKS GUYS.

But not once do you
     actually mention the story...
What happens in it?

You say you don't like
     parties, so go out and give
different ones a try.

The thing you can't do
     is allow yourself to throw
up mental roadblocks.

It's caused by sweaty
     shirts rubbing repeatedly
against the nipple.

I just more often
     refer to it as software
development kit.

an architect is
     the one person who REALLY
shouldn't get a mac.

What does white, college
     science major attire
look like anyway?

They could choose to do
     nothing, and thereby allow
thousands to perish.

Anything I do
     to keep on two wheels is fair
in my opinion.

If I stay there will
     be trouble, and if I go
there will be double.

I don't remember
     what, but the words "SEXY FAIL"
filled the screen. Fuck. That.

dude, if you have blow
     and you *know* you have blow, you're
going to do it.

People who belong
     to any group, anywhere
in the world, do this.

It's nearly stressful.
     [deleted] Couldn't you just
pay for it yourself?

I see some people
     state that your parents will flip
out because of this.

He can take as much,
     or as little, vacation
time as he pleases.

Do whatever else
     you need to do first and then
isolate yourself.

this is terrible,
     and you should feel terrible.
Earth porn at its best.

You look tired. Sucks.
     That was the thing that made you
not want the game? Huh?

That's totally me,
     I'll think about not saying
anything next time.

Thanks for asking. :D
     Can anybody expand
on the three timelines?

The mysterious
     chick isn't supposed to be
Time Trapper, is she?

Sorry, I don't know
     what compelled me to share this.
(crawls back in corner).

I normally sit but
     then I will switch to standing
for part of the day.

It might be too late
     because rooms are indeed rare,
but you can still try.

also, make sure his
     hands are not on your shoulders
when he's doing it.

Towards the end of his
     career, Bruce Lee relied on
this extensively.

What you can do is
     set up a bridged connection
on your computer.

No matter what you
     think about yourself, you must
press on in this life.

Thanks a lot bro, I'm
     hungry for more already.
Thank god it's Friday.

Depends. Gliders are
     mostly cheaper to buy, if
you fly them a lot.

Sorry, its not what
     you're asking for but I thought
I'd give it a try.

That shit to boardroom
     members make it look like you're
just clowning around.

If it was just Jack
     and Jimmy it would've been
good That is so gross.

Also, understand
     how much energy you can
get from your sources.

Novelty accounts
     never cease to amaze me
Fuck that guy, see ya.

[deleted] Replace
     'playing' with 'drinking', and you've
got Winston Churchill.

This is such a great
     impression that it almost
gave me a seizure.

That will spur job growth
     in small businesses, which is
where it's most needed.

What about people
     without privilege who attempt
to oppress others?

I'd much rather know
     formulas and remember
how calculus works.

I have really bad
     allergies and tend to sniff
every few seconds.

It's a fact that sex
     sells, and that's fine, based on how
you market yourself.

You don't need sustained
     interaction in order
to claim existence.

I blew at the screen.
     You sound like an idiot.
Genetics does that.

You look like Bieber
     Brilliant idea. What could
possibly go wrong?

Holy crap, you must
     be riding it hard. The cranks?
brake lever? three chains?

In conclusion, what
     you're saying is true, but what's
the alternative?

Don't listen to what
     the altruistic geeks who
agree with you say.

You mind if I post
     this in my Updates posting
with you as credit?

my apologies
     if I misled some people.
No i think your right.

Girls who play starcraft
     for the game will continue,
you just won't hear us.

I wish Australia
     was so deeply proud of their
ancestral culture.

[deleted] You are
     going off on a tangent.
NOT BAD Thanks again!!

the one on the left
     is for sure a cattle dog
mix they are great pets.

People need to stop
     attributing mythical
properties to it.

A ban from her stream
     chat I have an article
I'd like you to read.

Unfortunately
     the person he debated
was an idiot.

Then this little thread
     appeared and I knew that all
was well in the world.

gonna be in west
     virginia until Sunday
so gonna miss it.

I had this issue
     too, cat was black too so no
chance of seeing that.

Much like the doctor,
     they're very mysterious
and do their own thing.

But it was still fun.
     let's not forget, he also
worked on system shock.

How would something like
     that fall into the picture,
in your opinion?

I couldn't care less
     about any sports team, but
many people do.

In correlation,
     the country's economy
has also improved.

With few exceptions,
     they pretty much only get
to hire and retire.

She chops his arm off,
     and it carries her away
through the dining room.

Up to a certain
     point productivity will
increase per person.

to be such racist
     fucks, the white trash folks sure like
to use ebonics.

They come out today!
     Not that it changes the job
market, anyway.

#undergrad problems
     Super neat. Thanks for sharing.
Yup works fine in EVE.

Too bad I'm not too
     lazy to pick up after
my dog myself, huh?

What, you don't enjoy
     the occasional blood bath
every now and then?

Too worn out. At least
     the drivers in Austin are
just incompetent.

Another story
     is about my brothers friend,
whom we call chewy.

That's going too far.
     Bitches need to learn to make
good coffee, that's all.

Even just doing
     simple renovations here,
you need a permit.

I'm thinking that stuff
     will cost you in terms of health.
My work is done here.

You might find a few
     more moderates to cozy
up to, I suppose.

Your missing my point
     again trying to make it all
about race again.

GOD *DAMMIT*. Now that's
     all I'm going to notice
when I look at pigs.

Barring some special
     technique, people only sing
one note at a time.

It's like casting Guile
     in a street fighter movie
w/ jet li.

Know the company.
     Know several of the products
and ask about them.

Wrong again. I am
     posting here entirely
under this handle.

Wow. I was so sure
     Tom, Dick and Harry would be
best friends forever.

Remember, cooling
     is important, and so is
cable management.

No experience
     with it myself, but they seem
to get good ratings.

Aside from that, it's
     going to be very hard
to get it for free.

But you are and you
     let these criminals murder
whoever they want.

They probably just don't
     know you well enough yet, but
don't be discouraged.

These are, notably,
     board combinations without
attacks to speak of.

Really? Why would you
     want a handgun if a long
gun is an option?

You're right, it's only
     considered apocryphal
by some traditions.

It's not popular,
     but it often gets results.
Then they start barking.

Once you realize there's
     nothing to be afraid of,
it's much easier.

American men
     making the common brit seem
like a gentleman.

It feels like a real
     evolving world with people
coming in and out.

Some of them I would
     train as guard bears, and others
as butlers and cooks.

Because you can use
     the planet's gravity well
to your advantage.

You'd spend far more fuel
     actually getting in range than
during the fighting.

Shit I'd just carry
     matching cans of mace and wear
shoes you can run in?

COLD FIRE [deleted]
     I am one repair away
from switching their OS!

Keep the tickets cheap
     and the soft drink sales will keep
you more than afloat.

I, foolishly, watched
     the movie adaptation
and then read the book.

Vikings don't truly
     enjoy candy unless there
is some pain involved.

A word of caution:
     never wear anything while
the skin is pull back.

All my bank accounts
     are in Swedish currency,
located in Sweden.

Right off the bat, you
     get the title wrong? C'mon.
You're not even trying.

You can search online
     to find some previews from these
kind of test software.

"But I don't like X."
     Suck it up. You just said you
excel in classes.

ENOUGH WITH THE SAME
     DAMN POST! F3 Yeah, I don't like
talking level 118-119s.

What fees do we charge?).
     In comparison, a bank
is owned by others.

Damn, I'm not a big
     SA fan but I really like
these glasses. Sold out.

What has changed with all
     the pansy asses who can't
handle Tylenol?

Baby one more time
     says the starving ent. Good job!
This is really cool.

As a gay guy who
     takes it up the butt, lemme
just tell you some things.

Interesting technique
     on the exposure blending,
I haven't tried that.

How much sex with how
     many partners do you think
poly people have?

Or a white stoner?
     Or a sketchy white guy who
seems to be tweaking?

Or a sketchy white
     guy who seems to be tweaking?
Or maybe "white trash".

The few that do are
     probably in small businesses
and are likely clean.

I say this a lot
     and I don't think anyone
ever believes me.

I'm kinda looking
     to live where it's quieter.
Any suggestions?

Their contributions
     to my all time favorite show
can't be stressed enough.

Edit: I think I've
     been misunderstood in what
I was trying to say.

I want some Cookie
     Monster eyes. Bouncing pupils
are hilarious.

Consumers forget
     that we have great power when
we band together.

Knowing and loving
     the music from childhood is
always a good hook.

What I would do is
     go to your school's commuter
lounge, if they had one.

A child brought candy
     onto a playground even
though they shouldn't have.

I believe she's turned
     down a number of decent
guys for that reason.

Certainly better
     looking than the new sedans,
which I still dislike.

I think the only
     other book I've cried over
was Deathly Hallows.

Yeah I'm not too sure
     exactly what I'm doing
with my next set up.

Be warned though, we aren't
     professionals and are still
figuring things out.

They never arrest
     women for rape and they aren't
going to start now.

Start making phone calls
     to your district manager.
Rip out his liver.

Can I have a link
     to that article? Pro tip:
It doesn't exist.

Last I checked counter
     doesn't work against a non
physical attack.

Many people from
     around the world don't realize
how large the US is.

I personally don't
     think this is enough to get
you fully equipped.

The fact that the scene
     is male dominated makes
no difference to me.

The the drop off is
     exponential for every
foot outside of that.

I can't have respect
     for someone who's not going
to respect the craft.

My buddies are more
     inclined to beaches, city
sites, and seeing sharks.

The joke is a troll
     when he gets the OP to turn
around and worry.

Now that i have one
     i save alot more but still
get to buy some things.

I'm down. To be fair,
     he does pull that bit of hair
down in front as well...

I.. I.. Good question,
     though that'd be one shitty
house around these parts.

The Fall occurred when
     mankind *disobeyed God*, not
when we gained knowledge.

Same with that pervert
     that got shot by the county.
Fuck that guy, see ya.

or use the road like
     every other vehicle,
including horses.

You survived it by
     not being there, just like all
those evacuees!

Don't I have a right
     to use the river that runs
through my property?

Yeah, it's night terrors.
     I get them too. I've gotten
better about it.

[deleted] This thread
     will take a *licking* and keep
on ticking! nothing.

They **get** to be mad
     (as long as they don't attack
any customers).

That makes the title
     sensationalized, that is
no "rape confession".

I do know several
     people who sprayed the phrase on
the abandoned house...

You will do hard time.
     So stay away from stickers.
Believe me I know.

Anyway I could
     get the original file?
Blue would be better.

Winter is coming.
     Take it however you can
get it. It's a trap!

I don't understand
     why so many vegans are
so anti protein.

If they only hit
     trees, not other cars, I'd be
tempted to agree.

We got a winner,
     I said we got a winner,
we got a winner!

Running around will
     not put out the flame as much
as you wish it so.

I agree that Jobs
     probably couldn't one up Gates
in helping... unless...

I understand now.
     You see, you said "than you are
being ignorant".

Painkiller didn't do
     so well, but there's so much more
tech out there these days.

I don't have a mic,
     and I want to be all "run
away, friend medic!

After each change, test
     the links to make sure your change
didn't break something else.

Fundamentalist
     beliefs do not override
basic human rights.

Most people don't choose
     to stick to stuff that doesn't
require a rubber.

But the whole point was
     that mein sounds like mine, whereas
meine sounds like miner.

For army people
     to do the harsh stuff, Sanchez
had to approve it.