Reddit Haikus

Plenty of Kevin
     Smith movies to choose from, try
Dogma or Mallrats.

I guess since they got
     all the heat Microsoft can
get away with it.

People need to be
     weird to wear pirate hats now?
Draw a complete map.

Pretty much dead on
     as far as political
reality goes.

Get legal and check
     out the local shops right quick!
It is straight magic.

I guess it depends
     on the individual
state percentages.

I also feel dumb
     for not catching that it takes
place in the future.

I never used it;
     it always felt like it'd
be a big hassle.

And if you even
     have doubts about calling us,
please pray about it.

The more sex I get
     the better things are but when
I take a break.. eh.

I can't wait to find
     out if I'm an idiot
or not. A spoiler?

I don't play many
     video games so I'm fine
on that front, thanks though.

But... but the series
     ended so amazingly.
My interest is piqued.

His ass has gotten
     smaller since he stopped, but it's
still naturally big.

He's a jewish dude
     who's build like a black man from
the waist down. No joke.

The famous essay
     is of course online, but are
any of his books?

absolutely not
     There are lots of people who
don't get married here.

I'm just following
     where the evidence leads me........
[deleted] Yoshi!!!!

Gotta be able
     to laugh at this stuff did you
have to change your pants?

hopefully this should
     help, it's at least how I would
approach the essay.

No offense. I live
     in a one bathroom farm house.
I've been to college.

A lot of other
     candidates for any job
can't match that Good Luck!

I treat everyone
     I meet like a friend because
I'm a good person.

I was in your boat.
     Seriously didn't think I'd
ever get married.

Getting stood up is
     when you go to meet someone
and they don't show up.

I've been attending
     this since I first watched the show
several months ago.

I wouldn't even
     describe that as slang as much
I would just slurring.

If so, why not just
     ignore the sticker and just
go by the seat? No.

You'll be sore after
     all the kicks and flips you'll be
doing, guaranteed.

This picture depicts
     how I like my girls the way
I like my coffee.

I admit that there
     were a few parts that had me
getting really sad.

And, to be honest,
     there's a big difference between
the demographics.

His comment isn't
     necessarily racist,
it just sounds that way.

A couple of his
     passes floated a little
too much for my taste.

What's next, breaking BUDS
     so you can't easily make
automatic farms?

But it still makes me
     rage when people think New York
is the capitol.

I have already
     acknowledged that being male
has disadvantages.

Your opinions don't
     count if you think 'anyways'
is an actual word.

i was confused when
     ''problem'' wasn't the only
word in the question.

If somebody starts
     throwing names at you, remind
yourself that they're right.

I've looked at our track
     record, I think it's time you
take a look at theirs.

No, the *sexual
     assault* story is the one
that "can't be real", right?

I'll try to converse
     more professionally from now
on for cereal.

i hope you never
     get rich, or else i'll call you
greedy and sick too.

I see blonde, redhead...
     Hello. I believe this fine
belongs to your wife.

Above average Cool.
     Thank you! thanks and say hi back
to your trio too!

Oh wait... Chris Hansen,
     you can come out from behind
the computer now.

I am not saying
     rape is okay for men or
women, it is NOT.

But I figured, hey,
     I'm not having kids with him,
so what's the problem?

Are there people who
     call themselves feminists who
want to put down men?

If you think that is
     "equality" then you are
sorely mistaken.

Being friends with her
     would be the worst possible
solution to this.

Half the time I just
     simply can't figure out what
to even search for.

What would you study?
     What part of the country would
you like to be in?

They way I have read
     and interpreted the law,
this is not allowed.

his boss is headed
     towards the bathroom Hmmm, I'm not
sure, Chrome is odd bro.

Do Community
     Colleges count? If so add
Golden West College.

Here it is. Can't find
     the original post or
I would link to it.

But I came to see
     that I didn't need to listen
to the gender roles.

Besides atheist
     which you sound like leaves nothing
to live for either.

[deleted] I think
     his issue with with the "Disk"
part, not the "Drive" part.

I think man can find
     ways to rationalize just
about anything.

That would probably be
     my first instinct too, though you're
absolutely right.

There is this new slang
     coming up, where people say
"raw" instead of cool.

I figure those are
     simple but not too boring.
But I'm probably wrong.

I get the feeling
     he'd look great in my bed... :-D!
Was this in Iceland?

Shrug, some people like
     different stuff man, what do you
want me to tell you?

I will never be
     able to get away from
that god damn picture.

actually i'm a hat'
     Keeping their traps shut isn't
lying to her face.

Our Run D will be
     improved a lot and our Pass
D will be vicious.

What we need is our
     own form of direct action.
Less cant, more action.

Unique hydra bow
     dropped the other day, I was
pissed i didn't get it.

Do you consider
     mental health as important
as physical health?

Like if someone stole
     your water heater you might
say they stole your heat.

its less in your face
     & lets you get lost picking
flowers in the woods.

This isn't high school.
     No need to put on a show
or put up boundaries.

I don't want a close
     game to be lost due to bad
coverage on the ends.

The way they get screwed
     is when actual deadbeats who
truly can pay, don't.

It roared right in his
     face and he hit it with bear
mace nearly point blank.

Clean your damn house. "Dank"
     when referring to something
fun or cool. Not weed.

Thanks! You delivered
     that joke a lot better than
I was going to.

Divide and Rule, when
     the real problem is peons
vs Ruling Class.

You, of all people,
     shouldn't be worried about
posting your art here.

[deleted] Fucking
     expensive, mediocre
bar with shitty beer.

Your grades look great, Im
     sure you can go the Uni
with a scholarship.

Also, you're 19...why do
     you care if your mother thinks
the diet is safe.

I'm a senior! :P
     Well hey, I'd be down to get
together sometime!

People like to knock
     Halo these days, but Halo
really got that right.

If you want to live
     in it it is perfectly
fine to buy a house.

If that is the case
     why isn't everybody
else adopting it?

I think you could get
     one smaller and have it be
right in your price point.

It looks like they tried
     to make a feminine "D"
shape out of the horse.

Honestly, you should
     not have enough time to be
posting that often.

Fucking check, it'll tear
     your heart apart. Voiceover?
Check Venetian blinds?

I have just enough
     money to pull it off but
I'm cutting it close.

As a joke goes, Men's
     Studies already exists,
it's just called History.

That could pretty good,
     actually I was told I would
make a pretty nun.

I assume this can
     only be viewed by people
who live in the US.

[deleted] How sad
     are you? Ahh, ironclad, thanks.
And good morning. word.

Then enjoy yourself.
     You've got a net to catch you,
while others do not.

Haven't touched one since.
     The key is each day gets you
closer to the next.

Yea, it does look like
     someone from maybe the white
van was ejected.

Then it gets easy.
     Then the second week is hard.
Then its not so bad.

Is there a symbol
     for the black brother's other
than wearing all black?

Stab stab stab you CAN
     have like one apple every
so often you know.

Are you questioning
     the wisdom of Our Leader?
SHUT YOUR COMMIE MOUTH!!!!

Didn't you figure out,
     this is a world government
operation yet?

Any of Wilder's
     noir films of that era will
be enjoyable.

It would've been much
     more impressive if he did
this a year ago.

I like it as well
     but I don't want to straight up
copy him either.

She gave her reasons
     for believing in god, then
asked me why I don't.

But I think it was
     only fourth largest back then.
Very sneaky sis!

is it just me, or
     are dennis and d making
the EXACT same face?

My female drama
     teacher hugged me all the time.
No repercussions.

You know you like both
     but it just feels easier
if you like just one.

Baltimore Pittsburgh
     games aren't regular season
games, these are battles.

I'm a drunk and food
     poisoning is an easy
excuse twice a year.

I'd like to try their
     beers, but I definitely
don't want to get burned.

You can't be a "real"
     gamer if you play madden
or call of duty?

From dependence back
     into bondage' [My source, but
you can find others.

Nah, I'm Italian
     and I know the difference Break
up w him.

See if it shows up.
     JESUS CHRIST IT'S A *LION
GET OUT OF THE CAR*!

i use lights because
     i don't want finger prints on
my white painted walls.

Really? You would think
     that electricity was
important to them.

Seriously though,
     I love the Public Market
at Granville Island.

A cruel, outdated
     tradition among mostly
religious people.

Personally, I don't
     see [fixed] posts as a problem
*if* I have context.

But, by counselor,
     do you mean one at my school?
Or at the CC?

Keep doing good works
     and hopefully it will work
in your favor soon.

[deleted] I just
     heard the manager signing
someone up today.

I learned it as "Bad
     Boys Rape Our Young Girls Behind
Victory Garden Walls".

Their branding has been
     *dead* consistent since day one.
Is it laziness?

I have lost even
     more of the faith I had left
in the internet.

Never again will
     you struggle to read my text.
BEOWULF CLUSTER!!!"

The first stream (which is
     what I used) is really all
that was relevant.

Although they are more
     expensive, they're much safer
and last quite a while.

Also, he joined IM,
     if you or anyone else
didn't hear already.

No no no, they weight
     everything in pounds, even
their money. Great read!

I am not sure how
     to answer that last question.
It feels out of place.

Some are good, some are
     bad, some are an episode
by episode base.

I want a background
     check on me to come back with..
nothing, as it should.

Its extremely short
     sighted to devalue skilled
tradesmen (and women).

This is beautiful.
     It looks like Cirque du Soleil,
but I could be wrong.

You'll just learn to play
     in a way that doesn't help
you in a real game.

Its uni. What makes
     you think they'll stoop to something
as low as teaching?

They want to teach their
     ignorant propaganda
in our public schools.

The second option
     is that she did know her rights,
but she.. what? Panicked?

"Earlier Date" Check.
     Have you ever heard a dog
when it catches fire?

If you waste nothing
     and moderate your intake
you might just make it.

I would never feel
     comfortable with my feet
out the window. Right!

You can spot your house
     in a documentary
about urban gangs.

The attention must
     have made him nervous because
he rushed off the bus.

no penetration!
     Jokes on you. That was all her.
From the beginning.

They're at least going
     to college and took the time
to fill out the forms.

I've got three guys on
     my list right now that make jokes
like that all the time.

There are many roads
     up the mountain, after all,
but only one top.

Friends are friends, pals are
     pals, and buddies pay their piss
tickets together.

My saturday night
     parties were stuff of legends.
As for social life.

You can see his head
     tumbling around next to him
into the gutter.

At that point I would
     have just told her it was from
Louisiana.

Unless you're going
     to report the bugs you come
across, don't use them.

You are right, and what
     you are advocating is
very good practice.

That one would be left
     in a random location
in Antarctica.

I think you're way too
     cynical about any
comments people make.

Words are the strongest
     drug known to mankind, so yes,
words do cause damage.

I know it's tough, but
     you've done keto for a week,
what's another day?

Unless we're talking
     Hotel Character Breakfasts.
That shit is no joke.

Let people have their
     phases, it literally has
no effect on you.

All I can say is
     branch out, mix with people who
share the same interest.

Any tips? I would
     like to note that this is not
the final version...

And if you say, "Don't
     use rounded corners," then you
are being absurd.

[deleted] Also
     doctors and pharmacists know
Latin, at least some.

*Maybe* Halladay
     and Lee are better but not
by a wide margin.

I know how you feel,
     :D. I remember seeing
you before also!

What is so fucking
     difficult about this word
to Americans?

Generally, when words
     are borrowed they tend to loose
or change their meaning.

Honestly OP, it's
     up to her whether or not
she gets a boob job.

My old ultimate
     coach was an audio guy.
He used to say this.

Better to just drive
     away, than worry about
being thrown in jail.

If it has to be
     that cold, it can't be that good.
Funny none the less.

It never makes sense
     and lacks respect for the real
meaning of the word.

The broker is trying
     to sell you things that he will
make commission on.

One meal a day will
     slow your metabolism
to terrible rates.

I think Fallout 2's
     version is **far** better. War.
War never changes.

I've worked with dogs all
     my life and that's the coolest
dog I've ever seen.

Homer: "Did you raise
     the dead?" Lisa: "Yes." Homer:
"But the car's okay?"

I know it can be
     significant, but it's just
too variable.

Welcome to "beam day".
     If you're slight you can still make
beautiful objects.

I have a feeling
     we will see a different man
in his Second term.

What do you expect?
     They're cats, they carry their comb
around in their mouth.

I don't think it's our
     job to judge and trivialize
other people's pain.

Mr. Swaim, when are
     you going to get your own
television show?

Do you just tell them
     you want it shipped to the post
office in X town?

pack up all your shit
     and move to another town
and start a new life.

[deleted] When you
     listen to his music, you
ensure he gets paid.

We could, technically,
     replace many of those key
people in apple.

When I did meet him
     he never gave me any
bullshit promises.

The poorer school (where
     I attended) had a new
gym, but no math books.

That ignorant black
     people don't exist and should
not be depicted?

This is a thinly
     veiled analog of the first
causes argument.

And every dog you
     own from now on will be called
Rex. Well, that's frightening.