Reddit Haikus

I've only ever
     been able to properly
grow a polar bear.

Anyway, besides
     scratch tickets I'm really not
much of a gambler.

The rules to make kids
     safe just made recess the most
boring time of day.

That kind of thing will
     give you a heart attack when
you're half asleep. [Look!

Reading is a great
     first step, but tasting is what
locks in your knowledge.

nope I seen it too.
     WOW. Just WOW. lucas once had
talent and vision.

I bet it will be
     the first petition to get
Internet traction.

Dying in a self
     defense struggle is better
than taking own life.

In my opinion,
     she would look terrible if
she lost any weight.

He's a big daddy's
     boy and he's content to let
you take care of him.

You got it! I guess
     I'm weird that I don't mind if
my guy watches porn?

He loves you... but he'll
     condemn you to eternal
suffering anyways.

Honestly, it sounds
     like your friend may be lacking
in rolling skills too.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

[deleted] No you
     you weren't the only the one
the one that caught it.

His alter ego
     (Peter Parker) was a free
lance photographer.

Waited through the queue
     and then got booted again.
Forums are down too.

Thanks though! I forgive
     you, sir no way, the paper
would wear out too fast.

The guys that were pick
     up by Cops for CHEERING while
the buildings collapsed?

Might as well just say
     magnets are involved as well
and make it awesome.

The right to defend
     one's self against violence
is a human right.

Then just use table
     legs or anything else you
can clip someone to.

hat's looking good on
     people has a lot to do
with head shape and age.

Regulation does
     not, in the main effect, keep
the public from harm.

If there is one thing
     I learned during my two years
in high school latin...

I don't bite my nails
     but you could say chipping them
off is a habit.

Pretty sure it was
     Mark Twain who said that. My life
has been made complete.

I don't understand
     how sound can be encoded
in those tiny grooves.

Nothing to see here
     When I see people bending
back the spine on books.

You just keep making
     one idiotic statement
after another.

I went there over
     the summer and I must say,
that ride was awesome!

Holy shit, does no
     one know what a cypher is?
that is just awesome.

I doesn't hit on
     the actual beats, it hits right
in between each beat.

For the bonus points:
     who can tell us what name his
tv guide came to?

They would probably say
     that the studies must have been
from biased sources.

Free. No licenses.
     Can't install it on machines
or I'll get fired.

Then I decided
     to start half way through for no
reason, and got hooked.

Or is Francesco's
     mod as simple as it gets?
Target Acquired!

[deleted] Would me
     making this into a face
cheer you up buddy?

And for the record,
     I'm a beer drinking fool on
the right occasion.

Gotta love that game...
     I thought I was the only
one who still played it.

The jack the prices
     are reap the benefits while
we pay out the butt.

Not too overly
     used, but good when it appears.
Thanks for the nice words.

She was half asleep
     and she didn't realize she was
speaking in Russian.

:D Really well done,
     it's nice to hear the voices
behind the play styles.

It's the heaviest
     thing around me that I can
easily lift. Nope.

I shit you not: "But
     if we don't get the crayons,
they'll melt in the rain.

If you're a fat man,
     you'd better have cash, or you're
forever alone.

If so then there's no
     way that the person shot was
in fact the doctor.

Be honest about
     the scope of the job, even
if the list looks long.

The things I would do
     to you would put the same face
on be as your shirt.

Do you always like
     rubbing it in to people
who are colorblind?

Sorry, that's just how
     the American justice
system tends to work.

Good work. [deleted]
     if this happened to me just
once, i'd kill myself.

With all the added
     bullshit, it'll probably be worse.
Never forget what?

I don't think any
     laptops have come with modems
for quite some time now.

I'm sure if you ask
     around you could find an old
external modem.

She'll probably think you're
     the coolest, smoothest guy on
the planet for that.

It's a program called
     Sex in the Lobby. We will
not be having sex.

Congratulations
     on your internship, ~~you'll be~~
you are fabulous.

I laughed harder than
     I should have X( Can you spot
the noon time napper?

God damn I love Bill
     Murray. I'm not gay, but I'd
let him look at it.

Western research should
     be government funded, not
corporate like today.

unfortunately
     you can still use them indoors.
as in tomorrow...

I always think I'll
     choke and no one around me
will know the Heimlich.

Exactly, and that's
     why people who "like kids" don't
impress me that much.

And you could still get
     killed if you did anything
other than throw rocks.

I'm pretty sure it's
     because nobody wants their
ass kicked by that guy.

Looks like I'm the first
     to point out that it says "bear",
not "beard". Good to know.

We were blowing them
     up and doing various
other things with them.

If you have any
     doubts about "climate change" then
you are a racist.

This child was harmed while
     in her care, but that could mean
anything really.

What year will I die?
     Yeah. I almost stepped on one
when I was younger.

You wouldn't want her
     to distrust education
either, I suppose.

My cramping mainly
     comes in when I stop riding,
like the day after.

And try to get friends
     and family to "donate" you
some of their old clothes.

Needs more racism.
     Ever heard the one about
the robot caddies?

Pretty much stale by
     lunch time, and positively
rotten the next day.

Don't get my hopes up,
     I've been dreaming of this game
for years. Beautiful!

A lot of people
     are opposed to this, but I'm
unsure as to why.

Will have my next class
     with the students around 10AM
Monday, Japan time.

you'll thank me later!
     [deleted] How often are
you raising your arms?

This is worse on hot
     days because it always sets
faster in the heat.

And considering
     that you have no real escapes,
you are committed.

*cry* I did translate
     the spanish line by the way.
"I don't speak nonsense."

Looks like I'm cycling
     the cheaper glasses into
the bottom cabinet.

I'm picturing his
     face when she calls him and asks
to go to lunch now.

If you squeeze the nail
     on your big toe does it turn
white then red again?

Already been said
     but figured I would chip in.
Very beautiful.

In order to do
     this, each p orbital is
90^o from each other.

I didn't mind the first
     GoW, but it seemed like they let
Michael Bay write GoW2.

:D I know, random.
     We need softening up before
Goons can take us out?

In essence, the less
     nations that have nuclear
weapons, the better.

For instance, the world
     is not approximately
ten thousand years old.

once again, thank you
     for the help Looks like your dog
is the real master.

Now boot it back up
     and let me know when you are
back to your desktop.

Honestly, this would
     be near perfect if it were
closer to classes.

Any law will act
     as a deterrent for those
who can be deterred.

How are you doing?
     Yeah I'm pretty good. So what's
your name? Cool I'm X.

nothing changed until
     the 2011's and its just a new
front bumper on them.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

One thing that would help
     is trying to make your mix sound
like one seamless song.

It looks like it may
     take another decade or
so, but that's okay.

Come visit even
     if you don't smoke, they'd be glad
to have you stop by.

I'm pretty sure all
     my posts were saying how much
he is **NOT** like them.

It's called **poetic
     justice** you ignorant fuck.
[Enlighten yourself.

Guess how many times
     he went to jail for failure
to pay child support?

[deleted] I like
     that I want to know what I'm
wrong about, and why.

Didn't strike me that way
     when I saw the video.
How does this one work?

No one understands
     passing, merging, or moving
into the slow lane.

Well, I guess you'd care
     if they raped and murdered you,
or murdered and raped.

Basically canvas
     your whole area, even
the small businesses.

Do you have any
     advice for someone who has
problems with improv?

No pun intended.
     Right? But every dress shirt I've
ever seen has them.

Why not just dive right
     into the should or butt meat,
those are the best parts.

I'm learning that now
     because my boyfriend is from
Germany. Um. Yeah.

Also, what do you
     hope to achieve if you do
tell her? more pictures!

Don't get mad at me
     because people actually want
to protect their work.

No way! TIL! (Actually,
     this is very exciting.
I want to read them.)

No one will ever
     tell you you're not wanted when
you're a volunteer.

This is perfect. Here,
     I'll throw some in. My glass is
clean, let me pack one.

I almost got hit
     by this bitch in the Target
parking lot today!

It's simple, actually.
     The Bears are an easy team
to not talk about.

A lot of the time
     just making observations
changes the process.

Lettuce settle this!
     You didn't vote against McCain?
Are you serious?

It would be cool if
     someone made a Hell Knight from
Doom in this fashion.

I just picture you
     stoned and patiently waiting
for it to change back.

i feel like she could
     use more contrast to really
bring out the panels.

Remember: It's not
     cheating if you pay someone
to code your homework.

Think of how happy
     you'd be if you had to pay
for Windows Update.

I think the same goes
     for a woman who chooses
to have a boob job.

Thanks! Also, since when
     is "pretty" an adjective
for describing scents?

The information
     on which I rely comes from
more direct sources.

Cannot wait for Its
     always Sunny and Sons, sad
about Rescue Me.

I hear stories all
     the time about how senseless
the parents can be.

just get some pliers
     and push it back into place.
Be careful with it.

Still nothing. Dammit.
     Nice assumptions you've got there.
This is very true.

I don't shave it though.
     [deleted] As a group? Yeah.
Individually?

Grow your own unless
     you are a mushroom expert
or have a death wish.

I'm learning, just feels
     like I'm starting with much less
than everyone else.

I appreciate
     your silence. :D Correction.
Clapton is racist.

Killing her lawyer..
     I don't think anyone would
hold that against you.

Since this is a tall
     request, maybe you ladies
should include your height.

Surely they could've
     thought of a more relevant
song for her to sing.

You're such a rebel.
     lol Yeah, I agree.
More trees, more awesome.

It would take far more
     programming time and effort
than would be worth it.

The third would give him
     more leeway if the child turned
out not to be his.

(well, I remember
     Horatio for sure). I cant
find it anywhere.

lol, i'm still
     taking latin. it's great fun!
Good news everyone!

Actually, I'm sorry.
     This is terrible. I am
not a funny man.

There was a time when
     even calling Java 'fast'
would invoke laughter.

Not nearly as high
     volume as humongous spawn
trap, but it would work.

Someday I hope I'll
     be able to save enough
to go to college.

This causes great stress,
     grief, or even death for both
the cow and the calf.

I kind of like feet.
     It's something i'm curious
about, anyway.

Aliens. Mr.
     Giggles. I giggled a lot
freshman year I guess.

Thanks! [deleted] Calm
     the hell down. The real reason?
You'll be a jackass.

We must go deeper!
     On the other hand, going
deeper might kill her.

I'm a 32B and can
     barely ever find a bra
at department stores.

Authors are the best.
     All they wanted is for their
hard work to be read.

I almost got hit
     by this bitch in the Target
parking lot today!

EVER. I feel like
     this is the most incorrect
statement ever made.

Am I "SOME people"?
     because now I'm offended.
Very offended.

The Korean message
     is telling you that the site
is overloaded.

I've gotten a Team
     Captain and a Mining Light!
I thought he was fat..

You still need to work
     on mechanics and not just
the theory of it.

Sad thing is, people
     think my cat is pregnant but
really he's just fat.

Since when would logic
     instruction involve magic
hydrogen atoms?

I don't think playing
     for money makes you any
less dedicated.

I later realized
     I had left the tv on
while watching Baywatch!

So you've never had
     the cheese melt back together?
Really? I misspoke.

It's interesting how
     their challenge races **always**
come down to the wire.

The one with the rent
     check got ice cream to come out
my nose. Ahh, sorry.

Entered. Remember,
     it's not your room, it is just
being lent to you.

fucking matt damon.
     Yup. I've been in the tunnels
just a little bit.

He leaves it on all
     the time and closes the glass
door on the cabinet.

You may be using
     strong chemicals or dealing
with biohazards.

I bet if you found
     one and asked them (hint, hint), you
might get something (hint).

I try to hate them
     so much because they know how
to pander so well.

Woe be to those guys.
     I'm left with an as of yet
unanswered question.

Funny, every time
     I'm tripping hardcore I pass
this building. Agree.

I find what I would
     call a bug, they tell me is
working as designed.

The lava won't drain.
     It's weird, but flowing lava
doesn't disappear.

VERY VERY few
     places have that, even high
risk (construction) jobs.

I'm still progressing
     on my lifts, even though I'm
losing weight faster.

Its going to be
     quite a spectacle listening
to their new album.

I'm really not but
     I've never seen that before.
Came here to say this.

Exactly. How on
     earth does she know that she'd be
able to fight them?

The dude has standards
     and practices he follows.
The same goes for fish.

[deleted] You might
     be interested in Death From
the Skies by Phil Plait.

You are way over
     reacting and need to set
that worry aside.

I want everyone
     to know how super giving
I am. Blah blah blah.

Well if you get AIDS
     the first time, what have you got
to lose the second?

[deleted] Bitch get
     yer shoe off my couch and suck
my dick. Oy yoy yoy.

Allow me to put
     in a request to my friend
"The Street Pharmacy".

Thanks for the reply.
     Regarding housing, did you
buy or do you rent?

I work at a Sprint
     kiosk the biggest rip off
is screen protectors.

one of the many
     reasons why women really
do control the world.

I don't get why you're
     saying "fuck you" to me, when
you agree with me.

Plenty of Kevin
     Smith movies to choose from, try
Dogma or Mallrats.