Reddit Haikus

Have a freeze dried food
     supply and just a general
earthquake kit. Be safe.

Sure it means a bit
     more effort but I think it's
worth it. You are sex!

Isn't it? Ah, there
     are two or three of those here.
Just making a point.

Covers for public
     high chairs, covers for shopping
carts, etc.

You'll have a hard time
     paying for your kid's uni
on that salary.

If you take the time
     to answer me, I really
appreciate it.

It has been proven
     that dirty mnemonics work
better than clean ones.

I guess he was our
     friend because he was always
witty and social.

He turned to the guy
     and cold as stone said, "Oh no.
I'm asexual.

The "pistols at dawn"
     challenge was pretty funny,
given the context.

Wow, I've been drinking
     this for years and never thought
to post it on here.

I was wondering
     how you'd drive a lego car.
Then bring that booty!

Unfair all the dog
     owners get to bring their dogs
in all week! You're right.

As an engineer...
     What kind of engineering
are you studying?

Pushing yourself too
     hard, too soon is a sure fire
way to get injured.

lets ban um, and you
     know what fuck grease too lets ban
some fucking bacon!

I can deny it.
     She wasn't that hot then not
any better now.

EDIT: Excuse me,
     I meant people passing on
the right piss me off.

Laws hardly apply,
     which can be detrimental
or a benefit.

you can not purchase
     alcohol, but consumption
is fine in private.

[deleted] I like
     getting hammered like O di
su I can't either.

I agree that it's
     annoying, but it's the first
time for each of them.

See if your borough
     or what have you has a site
that has this option.

Just like how we can
     browse both Cars and Autos. Great.
Solid form made sense.

Our bodies have no
     mechanisms for coping
with it. Glad to hear!

Let's say you see some
     guy, perfection, a Doctor,
athlete what ever.

Those voices are his
     homosexual inner
child trying to get out.

Everybody hates
     on it, but I think it works
perfect for that song.

Warning. Do not click
     the image link if you are
the least bit squeamish.

I'm slowly learning
     the differentiation
from the responses.

I can't say which song
     is the most popular here
in Poland right know.

I've also realized
     that the title of this post
is completely wrong.

Precisely. *Former*
     teachers can't very well go
on strike, now can they?

I woke up the next
     morning, and tried it again,
BAM, I'm a genius.

Yes and no. There is
     no need to delete this, it's
in the spam filter.

If they're not insured,
     then anyone who contracts
with them knew the risks.

And now, innocent
     Afghani translators will
die because of it.

Fred is one of those
     guys that are funny to laugh
at, instead of with.

If it said "Feed Me
     Paper" no one would wonder
what the hell that meant.

Good to know. I guess
     I know longer give a shit
about clarity.

I mean it might be
     somewhat understandable
if that was the case.

Lots and Lots of Fire!!!!
     This is really impressive.
GO TO THE CONCERT!

Terrified me. Cool.
     Whatever being fat rules.
What's your favorite food?

There's more I have used
     but they were forgettable.
I don't quite follow.

It's a black rat snake.
     They're mildly venomous, but
can't kill a human.

Expensive place I'd
     appreciate it if you
sent it to me too!

Regular subs will
     get a stipend as well from
what I understand.

Oh my god are you
     Hot! I certainly hope you
can post a few more!

Would you have something
     pop up on your hud showing
where the target was?

You can have large paved
     areas and guests don't get
confused anymore.

Awesome, I'll try that.
     Thanks Thanks for the tip. mine grows
unevenly too.

Oh, right, liberals, who
     by definition, believe
in change, are statists.

If you show them where
     the liberal bloc lies, they'll know
the exact problem.

Larger breasts after
     pregnancy seems to really
run in my family.

I will be that one
     'out of towner' who will flip
the first one I feel.

Any woman who
     naturally developed large
breasts can tell you that.

Yours is just running
     slowly because it's bloated
with software and shit.

Dan!! !1one Excellent.
     [deleted] What exactly
were you expecting?

Thanks for your response.
     Really, is that how Petsmart
trainer training works?

They don't need to be
     showing off unfinished stuff
to generate hype.

My mom just told me
     that back then hansom men were
called a "Jelly Bean".

Once you have one nuke,
     you have all the deterrence
you need to make more.

Wonder how many
     years 'till she claims the school is
in mortal peril.

Wait, are you saying
     that you don't have to be smart
to go to college?

I'm Canadian
     and I used veggies to save
space in the comic.

do you think the OP
     who is inexperienced
can "trust his ears"? no.

Invasive species,
     started in Florida, might
be up there by now.

It will never be
     possible if you never
start the discussion.

I actually signed up
     and had them for a little
while they were decent.

Found out a couple
     years ago that I'm at least
mildly allergic.

you generally don't
     mix the foam and the coffee,
and drink it as is.

Totally should be
     in slow motion as he comes
down on that heavy.

It's gotta be hard
     as a parent and having
been out for so long.

WHAT THE FUCK And then
     the Alexander Courage
theme music. Sniff. Bawl.

I can imagine
     coming from the Midwest it's
highly comical.

Yes Paul wants to end
     social welfare, but only
on the fed level.

We need at least one
     shot of a Sea Hawk hovering
over Ancient Rome.

I feel similar
     to you so we can talk if
you think it'd help.

That was nearly two
     years ago and she hasn't
spoken to me since.

[deleted] I can
     drive it across the border
if you're near Windsor.

He does have that whole
     "I lisp but I can part seas"
thing going for him.

Expect stupid shit
     like this in your life time while
living here. Awesome!

everyone who grew
     up here definitely needs
to go to this site.

He starts screaming blood
     murder, I honestly had
no idea why.

How old are your kids?
     No. What on earth do zombies
have to do with pigs?

No. What on earth do
     zombies have to do with pigs?
Adding to the list.

They did say something
     about it being released
later on in store.

They don't actually teach
     people to speak their native
language 'correctly'.

Shit happens. Once she's
     better, we will get her back
on the bike again.

Breaking your comfort
     zones is scary and hard work!
It'll tire you out.

Stop. This is the last
     time I give you attention
you little weirdo.

Not true at all, I'm
     on it daily, and there's way
too much going on.

I mean, the first time,
     I can understand getting
fooled by the big name.

Unopened chests stay
     there and you can get the loot
later in the game.

Finally, it gives
     no information if you
fail at every check.

Oh, and they said they'd
     give us a discount if you
called them back today.

I would put Bear Stearns
     to the extreme right thank you!
[deleted] Really?

I'm no lightweight but
     man the Mars series was just
so awful to me.

Yours is interesting,
     intelligently written
and very classy.

It's what I think when
     I see Harry Potter books
on people's bookshelves.

It's internally
     consistent and follows its
own rules and syntax.

I saw the thumbnail
     and thought that's what it would say.
I am disappoint.

All of the minor
     problems have to be resolved
by the kids themselves.

All my muscles are
     now broken, but I feel good.
I changed it. Pants King!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, damn those desperate
     and destitute people trying
to improve their lot.

Yep, I love my boost,
     I don't think I'll drive a NA
car ever again.

Flippin idiots!
     Trick question, a revolving
door is always shut.

Please, enlighten me,
     what part of that sentence do
you disagree with?

No problem! You may
     just be fermenting away
all of your sugars.

But really, Data
     didn't lose control much more than
anybody else.

People like you are
     amazing, thank you so much.
One of my favorites.

[deleted] circa
     survive reference in your name?
This post is useless.

It just depends how
     good I'm looking and if I'm
going out at all.

Get good with your Q
     harass, it's the main reason
she's considered OP.

[deleted] never
     i worked at the dealerships
the year they came out.

And how can we get
     fewer of our newscasters
to attend that tier?

Yea. That guy above
     you has no idea what
he's talking about.

That guy above you
     has no idea what he's
talking about. Thanks!

Cool, I imagine
     that would have both it's rewards
and annoying spots.

Also, this guy was
     easily the scariest
thing of my childhood.

Let's all place our hand
     in the front waist of our pants
in honor of him..!!

People who are good
     with their abortions don't put
this much into them.

Doesn't have to be
     backed up, as I could very
happily be wrong.

I would look into
     the symptoms first and see if
you think they match yours.

So when this happens,
     does it seem like they're playing
kinda retarded?

He may have been from
     South Africa, but I didn't
detect an accent.

If anything, you'll
     be happy and confident
about your clear face.

I don't really want
     any more stables being
formed for a long time.

[deleted] This game
     looks like Project Overkill,
does it play like that?

I'm more of a Norse
     gods kind of guy myself, but
Romans are cool too.

Somewhere very close.
     Death screams of civilians found
by the aliens.

Grow it back. Then if
     you don't want it cutting I'll
do it anyway.

I guess it doesn't
     help that there's already red
lines in the picture.

It's all in your head.
     You just have no idea
how big your head is.

Jeremy Scahill
     has been sounding the alarm
about this for years.

Using currency
     as flooring is contrary
to that, no? says you!

How did your parents
     determine a "good" school when
you were a student?

As soon as we talk
     I'm going to confront him
about everything.

And what, exactly,
     is the logic behind that?
What town are you in?

I really have no
     idea what you are trying
to say any more.

C: Don't give famous
     people fancy colors its
not necessary.

Schools have much leeway.
     Yep. Reminds me of a time
with my health teacher.

That's not what I said.
     I said I could not respect
stupid opinions.

Ride off! *On the grass*.
     How to get a bat: Step one:
Enter a dark cave.

Unfortunately
     fixing this form the outside
is not possible.

Even then, I don't
     believe this is important
in every day life.

He discovered how
     to copy and paste using
the keyboard shortcuts.

In all likelihood,
     my hands would probably be more
lethal than either.

I knew exactly
     what you were talking about
the moment I clicked!

When my dad got back
     the very first thing I did
was hug him and cry.

b) Happy cake day!
     Also the words "Friendship Is
Magic" at the end.

So whatever foot
     in mouth action I do, I'm
not completely screwed.

You'll get to meet all
     the characters and learn some
great stuff about them.

I double dog dare
     you motherfucker say but
one more god damn time!

...unbelievable.
     Thanks. I see how i could come
off sounding like that.

FUCK. YES. I just thought
     he was going to be more
defined and chiseled.

I never play scout,
     it's my least, spy and sniper
are right after it.

[deleted] This needs
     to happen The red line is
higher just before.

First world solutions
     You could just get some buttons
that you like. Two points.

thanks I just finished
     reading *The Believing Brain*
by Michael Shermer.

I mean they can't all
     fit, so who decides which ones
sacrificed the most?

Despite that being
     amusing, it still hurt. WHOA.
DID YOU SEE THAT THING?

I award you no
     points and may god have mercy
on your soul. Front page?

Failure. Yep, they could
     have fired you for killing
your boss. You got it.

You got it. It checks
     the power of the creature
before it left play.

It's probably just me.
     Are you saying that you rip
your own butt hair out?

Wraps are versatile
     and I haven't really found
much they look bad with.

Situation is
     so fucked up I can't even
begin to describe.

Another scam just
     like Mary Kary, Shaklee,
and everything else.

this was a thread where
     people came to talk about
fads that annoyed them.

I'm writing that down
     [deleted] I guess nothing's
really wrong with it.

In his defense, that's
     perfectly acceptable
Klingon behavior.

A victory they had
     no real role in obtaining
or can lay claim to.

If it's keeping you
     from eating, it's not "working".
Sounds adorable!

Instead of building
     up cities, I chose to build
military first.

Man, there's no game quite
     like Portal for making you
feel like a jackass.

[deleted] I was
     being sarcastic myself.
Sorry to offend.

Velvet were her eyes.
     Discovery books looks almost
exactly like that.

That's one thing I love
     about electronics, they're
nearly free market.

It's probably banned or
     was banned. What's closest to you?
Domino's? Pappas?

Domino's? Pappas?
     Hut? the best kind of correct
Just let it all out.

When this site launches
     PLEASE! Send me a link! I would
love to sign!! Thank you.

I said 22GA. hand cuffed
     behind the back and put on
your stomach. so good.

So close, yet so far.
     He does have a say, he may
express how he feels.

Same exact reason
     that you don't believe in Thor,
Apollo, or Zeus.

I really would be
     curious to read about
dead cats found in trees.

and many will go
     on to follow just that path
Love that area.

And he bites a lot.
     He's either playing (biting)
or sad and whining.

If not, we're probably
     not related, unless you're
one of my uncles.

That had been sitting
     in this river for God knows
how long. Waterlogged.

Copy your message
     and hit refresh before trying
again to make sure.

I think the worst I've
     done is flipped someone's windows
desktop upside down.

If you hurt yourself,
     that'll teach you not to run
like an idiot.

Stick with it. Your best
     years are ahead of you. Fixed.
[deleted] Wow, nice!

Please please please don't just
     read the headline and then dash
into the comments.

This works on some phones,
     I think it might have to do
with the carrier.

Don't worry good sir.
     Perhaps eyebrows are today
your feature of choice?

I'd say fill 'er up.
     Ok I'll try that and let
you know if it works.

It's weird that the app
     didn't create the folder when
I tried it through that.

I was more nervous
     about buying the rubbers
than having the sex.

I've only ever
     been able to properly
grow a polar bear.