Reddit Haikus

To which she answered
     "I don't know, it's not my bed."
Good enough for me.

Yes, because we all
     have a broken phone lying
around just in case.

Complain about that.
     It looks like every browser
does something [different.

You can't see it yet?
     Maybe the system is slow,
but it's on its way.

I am assuming
     that you are running a steam
version of the game.

Not thirsty my friends.
     I think Tasteless sort of looks
like Richard Nixon.

NO ONE FUCKING CARES.
     that's **TWO** stupid useless posts
you're in on this site.

What does "professing
     your love to god" have to do
with getting married?

English citizens
     couldn't vote any more than
the colonists could.

I completely stopped
     going there because they are
fucking retarded.

Not bad timing, you
     did it just in time to make
my day today.. Thanks.

Thanks, Funny thing is
     I actually read that before
I posted this too.

I sort of feel like
     you know the guy or are him
based on your comments.

For whatever odd
     reason, a warm bath just makes
the cramps worse for me.

You know what's awesome?
     I suspect your friend was on
to you all along.

Would have completed
     the whole creepy ginger look
I was shooting for.

I had a colleague
     who said only ever wear
thrift shop clothes to work.

i'll just move my hand
     to the right a few inches...
just another out!

But now that you are
     there, you need to understand
the facts about it.

You might not become
     best buds first try, but you will
get the hang of it.

Three years from now, there
     are new versions of Windows,
Mac OS and Linux.

It worked, so, brilliant!
     Seriously.. why the hell
is this a big deal?

My three sisters are
     no longer Catholic but are
some type of Christian.

Or sewage, which is
     treated and fed back into
the water supply.

I no longer wish
     to speak with you and you should
just leave it at that!

She seems to have cool
     downed or maybe she was just
having a bad day?

I always fill up
     my spare buckets with pee when
im not using them.

My husband just got
     offered a job in Houston
(we're in Seattle).

But seriously,
     I don't like seeing that, just
rubs me the wrong way.

My brother woke up
     screaming, "MOM, I'M IN BATTLE
AND MY SHIELDS ARE DOWN!"

Sorry, only if
     your "tool" were on the table.
Coke Zero's for men?

I've seen the second
     one before but completely
forgot about it.

I disconnected
     the hard drives, took out the RAM
and booted it up.

They could sit and drop
     subtle hints all day, and no
one would notice. Why?

Is it just a round
     robin thing, or were people
specifically picked?

What a perfect place
     to dispose of a body.
thanks, i'll check it out!

topping off washer
     fluid is on the lower
end of the spectrum.

That's a subjective
     judgement of quality, not
intent or subtext.

Bento might actually
     give him service and he could
perform well. Damn you!

You're picking out one
     player and writing off Moyes
for that one signing?

[deleted] I am
     not alone Just more troll posts
to bait reactions.

[deleted] I feel
     like the response was not on
par with what she did.

So why can't you be
     sympathetic to Hindus?
Just flip it around.

I think they are just
     *that* hardcore. It's a tv
show, not a movie.

Because it's never
     okay, and the religion
says they *should* do it.

Nice. Thick. Solid. FAIL.
     [deleted] SAY WHAT AGAIN!
I have four of them!

Also, the instinct
     for air when suffocating
is overwhelming.

Get a real job then.
     This is a fucking website.
Those also pay too.

Just because other
     sports allow head trauma does
not mean hockey should.

It definitely
     is messed up shading, not just
the lack of eyebrows.

All they did was leave
     paw prints on the windshield, no
real damage was done.

See, if we had come
     out to play, we'd likely had
taken a beating.

If I were you, I'd
     be proud of how you handled
the situation.

The new icon is
     so shitty looking as well!
The panty dropper?

ok [deleted]
     God help us use search function,
acquire answers.

But its on the same
     page as Diet Coke vs
Coke Zero, I'd think.

you did good. Hands? HANDS?!
     Blasphemy I didn't actually
insist anything.

You also approach
     your faith like many do their
favorite football team.

Except it seems I'm
     getting the benefits part
but not the friends part.

That is a good point,
     that's a really stupid way
to go about it.

The little sister
     attitude you mentioned comes
through very clearly.

This is one of those
     exception where the films are
better than the books.

My boyfriend really
     likes that movie, I feel like
I should be worried.

unless they *actually*
     want to slip into something
more comfortable.

maybe England or
     Scotland for the next cycle?
like them? i love them!

My wife muttered, "Saint
     Nick, that son of a bitch." YOU
BOYS LIKE MEXICO?

Their goal is simply
     to enlighten and promote
logical thinking.

I stood up to them
     and told them to go play ball
and leave him alone.

Absolutely wrong.
     This is the most important
advice you can take.

It's the perfect place
     to put a bowl of chip dip
while watching TV.

It has failed, simply
     corrupted without any
outside influence.

hell no your going
     to work out how to magic
up bigger fireballs!

The first sentence is
     deliberately insulting
to stop you thinking.

Screw you! Why would you
     do such a thing now they're co
[deleted] Sort of.

Let me know about
     the torque wrench for those, I may
need to track one down.

I've often wondered
     why the Ethiopians
don't just move to Spain.

Don't fucking edit
     my work for your own gain, you
lazy piece of shit.

A musky bouquet,
     nice mouth feel and finishes
with a salty tone.

I think you mean you'd
     rather a dog die then you
confront your neighbor.

They are on the ship.
     The professor is almost
never on the ship.

Eggs here have "Use by"
     date of at least a couple
weeks when I buy them.

Worth it. If I would
     be camera guy I would shit
all over the place.

Do you think the skills
     will work? Anything is good!
Well, good luck with that..

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

I'm not buying it,
     Bondi. I need to know what
really happened. Wow.

The pain is caused by
     pressure on your middle ear
as you go deeper.

So, the scientist
     told us to "mutilate" our
children and we did.

It's just because you've
     been hanging out with a girl
and that's what happens.

This is child abuse.
     That's why you shouldn't drive when
you're feeling horny.

How do they even
     know that it's TI and not just
retailer tactics?

I won't get to play
     Skyward Sword for quite a while
after it comes out.

Whatever the case,
     you won't know until you talk
with her about it.

Very nice. Drums vox
     everything Well, I think that's
more appropriate.

How many times are
     you gonna post the same canned
response to a thread?

[deleted] Having
     the equalizer out means
I'm running away.

Sad thing is I could
     *easily* drink two of those
without an issue.

I understand what
     you are saying now and why
you are saying it.

I watch it almost
     every time and I could not
remember the name.

Build endurance by
     adding a little bit more
to every workout.

Kind of hard to do
     sometimes, I end up burning
stuff when I do that.

I found my local
     club and the run actually start
right outside my work.

Thanks for the info!
     I'm enjoying reading through
this entire thread.

I was just standing
     there, wobbling slightly, covered
in my own vomit.

Honestly, I don't
     think religion should be pushed
by the government.

My rule is don't buy
     drugs at concerts period,
but to each his own.

A new car maybe?
     To have kids probably? Some new
clothes to cheer her up?

Really? I look young?
     I've met people who think I'm
way older as well.

I really respect
     that you are able to look
at the whole picture.

A huge shift of wealth
     in a relatively short
amount of time. Ha!

Looking like Bruce Lee
     in that last panel. Good job!
[deleted] Good stuff.

your friend being pissed
     at you for not hanging out
with them all the time.

Maybe there is some
     setting that isn't working
well with you PC?

I don't know. Men seen
     to be very interested
in procreation.

But I think we should
     have them until people stop
drinking and driving.

Once I point that out,
     the question becomes a LOT
harder to answer.

Lots of fun to play
     with since they have a master
key that pulls the core.

These hooves were never
     for the the earthly grooves, it's
climbing I do best.

You find magic words
     and woo more dangerous than
[insert anything]?

What I would suggest
     you to address is the time
you spent together.

I could do 2x20 on
     the pull up and didn't look HALF
AS FIT AS YOU DO.

[You may find this post
     interesting since it describes
this evolution.

Also, what did plants
     do to you to make you want
to suffocate them?

I demand context!
     bitch it's a keyboard Hey, thanks
for all the feedback.

When you're dependent
     on the government you'll do
whatever they say.

Go to your local
     employment office and file
for unemployment.

Otherwise they would
     use their record cash to pay
down their record debts.

I thought that would be
     obvious considering
I quoted South Park.

I don't know if these
     cans have any sort of weird
coatings on them though...

It would work pretty
     dam well with a 69-cent SUPER
CAT alcohol stove.

I'd say Baseball is
     the biggest reason the DR
is shit in Soccer.

Genuine question
     (I don't have a foreskin, but
I do have a dick.)

I wait till weekends
     and evenings when the roads are
nearly deserted.

Just get baked one day
     and sit there peeling the fruits
and cutting em up.

You keep letting her
     know where you're going to be
so she can show up.

Well, I did mention
     that most neutral narrators
do NOT speak like that.

You just made my life
     complete, Now I can go die!
I think it's worth it.

I think this picture
     is older then the movie.
If that's Possible.

More often than not,
     someone else has that exact
same question in mind.

It's called the Learners
     license, the next step up is
the Novice license.

My idea is
     similar in concept, but
has a different plot.

If i can offer
     you any advice, i would
set specific goals.

Why do people post
     things then refuse to take part
in the discussion?

You, apparently
     don't know the difference between
parasite and HOST.

There is a difference
     between outright debunking
and skepticism.

So in a diverse
     jury, there was me, the poor
guy, and some rich guys.

Lights make no difference.
     Massaging jaw does provide
some relief actually.

Also, I don't think
     "wools" was the interjection
you were looking for.

I'd take Java 1.0's
     standard library over
C any time, too.

And the libraries
     C does provide are often
unpleasant to use.

Perfectly common.
     Just do whatever you like
in life. It's your life!

It doesn't matter
     how many times you tell her
you love her body.

That is like a case
     study on unemployment
in a single chart....

I was like, if you
     need the coldest one then why
is your cart empty?

The video got
     removed in only nine hours.
Damn damn DAMN! Awesome!

"Man, I see in fight
     club the strongest and smartest
men who've ever lived.

She said that one night
     I asked her: "Why did you kick
Hermes down the stairs?"

here is another
     if you lose everyone then
you have nobody.

Look how terrible
     we are next to absolute
flawless perfection!

As objects approach
     the speed of light they become
more Energetic.

Just like it would be
     beyond our understanding
if people could fly.

What's the big deal here?
     Isn't this how adults are
supposed to behave?

How is forced labor
     just for the sake of having
forced labor not bad?

Or sustain yourself
     solely from distilled water
and biscuits I guess.

I've run up and down
     the steps in my sleep running
from a cyber man.

Wasn't this the old
     band of Marilyn Manson's
guitarist, Twiggy?

he's talking about
     kids who would lie about their
uncles to seem cool.

For the Coldest Ride
     Contest, no, we just go by
thermometer temps.

Now, should I let them
     eat from the table or be
strict with bowl feedings?

Hooray! People are
     paying attention to me!
[deleted] Well, yeah.

I guess it depends
     heavily on travel times,
but it can be done.

I never knew that.
     Is it on the website, like
the driver tracker?

I really enjoy
     when people say things like "not
to be a dick but...".

She didn't need help though.
     She was able to leave, but
she chose not to move.

Metal reinforced
     ceramic here, I could see
this thing cracking skulls.

Most baseball players
     are pretty cool, hard to pick
out just one person.

Playing sex kitten
     around the office won't yield
much respect, sorry.

Well, at least they had
     the decency to email
you to let you know.

I wouldn't know, though,
     511s are the only skinny
jeans I've owned so far.

Get a stainless steel
     one as aluminum can
react with some things.

A busy schedule
     would not matter if she was
interested in you.

Unseen, Casualties,
     Bad Religion.... Women like
men with confidence.

It helped me break some
     bad shooting habits I had
(mainly grip and such).

Unfortunately,
     I hear both all too often.
Because it's the LAW!

They agreed again.
     The flyer showed up again.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

I walked down the street
     to ask him not to leave me
anymore flyers.

Oh well, if they don't
     want my week old milk with their
cookies, then fuck 'em.

Sad, but true. My wife
     has to do all her shopping
in the kids' section.

The point is, he takes
     that responsibility
and risk on himself.

you don't determine
     who the enemy is or
what to do with them.

Atheists looking
     for God is like a robber
looking for the cops.

Well I put it one
     step into the meta, but
you're right otherwise.

Is that you? My friend
     had a pretty funny lunch
related one too.

Same for boulevards.
     That's why they have the NO TRUCKS
signs posted. sandwich?

I mean, damn I love
     trees, but am I the only
ent with common sense?

If you're just looking
     to cash in on a good buy,
leave the books as is.

Nonsense. Bill Ding: "Well
     Mr. Flair, lets take a look
at what we've done here.

Unless of course you
     like nipples that look like they've
been some dog's chew toy.

Gosh, sometimes I say
     horrible things online but
that's just how I feel.

Where would people whose
     rights are violated turn
to be protected?

This isn't fallout,
     you're not meant to be able
to hoard everything.