Reddit Haikus

And thus a legend
     was born. No... analysis.
Kidding. Yes, really.

However, I think
     she could have at least let him
finish the question.

I see what you are
     saying, but it seems a bit
awkward, does it not?

You could go and grab
     new weather strip for the door
and just install it.

You can write them off
     as 'fucking pricks' if you want,
because you'd be right.

Atheist? Gamer?
     Musicians, politicians!
On here, you're lamer.

Your scenario
     doesn't match up with what is
really going on.

Look around your yard
     to see if it fell or has
traveled and is weak.

I play both. I'll cut
     you both and bake you into
delicious cupcakes.

A seagull swooped down
     and snatched an onion ring right
out of my friend's hand.

I suspect our cat
     that played fetch did, but maybe
he always tracked it.

Don't get on a high
     horse and insult the people
who actually like it.

Sometimes we just want
     to run, or get some coffee.
Second, you sound young.

I did some hamstring
     specific stretches and felt
great within a week.

I had a temper.
     saw this from miles off You keep
changing your story.

Hell yes, Juicy J
     is nasty both on the mic
and behind the boards!

For a fairly smart
     guy, I don't think Weiner could
have handled this worse.

These posts have become
     more popular than the kind
your are pointing out.

Thanks! That's exactly
     what I do when I'm looking
for a parking space!

[deleted] You know,
     it's no big deal either way.
If you want to, do.

Why should we let those
     people and their bigoted
views go unopposed?

Why? Because the less
     trash like her doesn't deserve
to be in college.

Anyone know where
     I can get replacement hoods
for the brake levers?

If you think this will
     lead to more guns on the beat
you're an idiot.

You have to have shops
     and infrastructure to go
through and destroy stuff.

You can say don't shoot
     women, don't shoot children, don't
shoot the innocent.

I figured I might
     be older, but that's as near
as I can figure.

She is the huge cheese
     in this movie, who knows how
much else there will be.

Just because they fought
     to save their own lives doesn't
mean they are nothing.

Wait, maybe we all
     were all just in the same class.
Are you a wizard?

Seems like you should just
     be able to check the box
and be on your way.

Anyone who has
     been trying to teach programming
with pointers knows this.

Also repeating
     patterns don't really increase
entropy at all.

Were you ever told
     if the eggs successfully
created children?

As long as the bike
     chassis doesn't give this is
far superior.

or "I just learned how
     to read minds, you gotta see
this" etc.

I prefer tossing
     large pieces of timber when
I'm feeling feisty.

A man who doesn't
     care about morality
See what you did there?

[deleted] The Yao
     Ming face is not something you
try to imitate.

and i will die, its
     inevitable and you
lose them when you die.

They may sell your hair
     for money, but that money
*must* go toward their cause.

Excluding those, Blount
     was the only senator,
expelled for treason.

This with The Doctor
     on a bumper sticker, I'd
put it on my car.

Well I sure am glad
     that I'm not the only one.
Now there's finger prints.

This one has nothing
     on Wendy, she will make you
jump off a building.

You should probably stop
     playing for at least a month,
see if that helps you.

Thanks for the feedback,
     really appreciate it!
You know what I love?

I have been listening
     to it, it's a recording
that keeps on looping.

Well? They would! They'd take
     out the guy with a shotgun
from a safe distance.

Cali Buds As long
     as you don't sleep in a creek
you should be okay.

The goals of the Tea
     Party will enable them
to make more money.

IMO that's all it's
     good for, getting you started
and into fitness.

Glenn Beck already
     uses this to tell others
to invest in gold.

Most people just go
     ahead and do it, so there's
tons of good info.

Yup VERY NICE Oh
     god that has got to hurt if
you're a Tigers fan.

I would want the guy
     who go the most votes to win.
That's democracy.

I can do all these
     things without getting into
trouble with the law.

He obviously
     wants to also if he's still
hanging out with you.

They have the Jungle
     Cruise queue loop. I've been looking
everywhere for this!

Sorry, I just get
     excited when anyone
has heard of the UP.

You can easily
     get it caught on something if
you don't use it right.

So try and get some
     help and I truly wish you
luck in the future.

No earth quakes, no snow
     (in Phoenix), no tornados,
no humidity.

Happened to me too.
     I forgot when I signed up,
all the sudden, cake.

You need to focus
     on the positive, and block
out the negative.

If the structural
     inequalities change, some
good may come of this.

What makes you say this?
     What did you enjoy that has
now been taken out?

There's a pretty good
     chance you'd change a right answer
to a wrong answer.

And the reaper trap
     was close quarters with collectors
and puny cover.

Learn to take a *joke*!
     It's just threats of violence
against your person!

I honestly felt
     sorry for the poor girl who
had to suck his dick.

All of us decide
     to make like a tree and get
the hell out of there.

That reason I could
     discuss in lengths but could get
angry about it.

It doesn't get much
     more average than Nirvana...
GOOD GOD I MISS THAT!!!!!!!!!

EDIT My defense
     makes it sound even more like
I did it, right? Damn.

I guess I was just
     too beaten up earlier
to want to say much.

What I hear you say
     is all of us here will be
dead when it happens.

One of the clearest
     insights I have heard into
America's woes.

If our ancestors
     believed this we wouldn't be
around here today.

Clearly I assumed
     she was joking around, but
she JUST KEPT TALKING.

Remember you don't
     need a lot of customers.
Just a few 'big' fish.

Thank you!! I asked you
     to do this for a very
specific reason.

I live in Sweden,
     so I know nothing about
your Forest Service.

[deleted] No, but
     he was most definitely
the most important.

The End by The Doors
     They do not prefer women
that have had children.

I can see pros who
     are stuck on contracts being
one reason for sure.

She hooks. My name is
     called to sing karaoke.
I go and kill it.

THAT'S A LONG DISTANCE
     CALL, DOUG! I should clarify,
I live in the US.

I'll put it this way...
     I wouldn't complain about
having either one.

It was a short lived
     series that was fairly close
to how much time passed.

I borrowed my friend's
     Half Life and got Metal Gear
Solid for Christmas.

Perhaps you are not
     the most objective person
to understand this.

Because elected
     officials told them it is
their job to do so.

A couple of weeks
     later I got a barbie
and a letter back!

Infighting among
     the people is exactly
what they desire.

**test** **test**!!!! The funny
     part is when she gets expelled
and you get karma.

They come in plastic
     cases that crack no matter
how careful you are.

TIL Neil deGrasse
     Tyson threw that shit before
he walked in the room.

Trying to force myself
     into a same sex romance
feels suffocating.

What people don't get
     is that looking bad doesn't
equal being wrong.

Who didn't? [deleted]
     She never said exactly
what the damage was.

Not everybody
     is an academic, nor
do they want to be.

The after won't be
     any more "reality"
than the before was.

i've tried pineapple
     and my partners said they didn't
notice a difference.

[deleted] A more
     preferable transformation
would be a centaur.

She told me to wait
     at school while she could get off
work and pick me up.

However, I'm not
     quite sure if you should place all
the blame on yourself.

People are stabbing
     and killing one another,
it's not good at all.

Kind of shot yourself
     in the foot there, haven't you?
I do Tae Kwon Do.

They work together
     well, I wonder if they could
pull it off apart.

In reality,
     they do it just to fit in,
safety in numbers.

I believe this is
     the most British thing I've heard
in a good long while.

[deleted] There was
     no girl in my classes like
that, that I knew of.

for penalties What
     if she was in the witness
protection program?

go for it I don't
     know if you know this or not,
but you're a rock star.

Here's a few different
     and might I add politically
polar assessments.

I felt like I was
     in Forza [deleted] Do
you enjoy your work?

Television from
     that era was horrific
Triple A rating!

Evil will begin
     to possess you and your things,
starting with your hand.

It merely allows
     you to change one champion's
appearance, that's it.

Maybe I'll get one
     there if I end up going
to Beijing next year.

"Vote for the guy who
     believes in the SKY FAIRY?
Are you kidding me?"

Plus I'm sure it's more
     common now than it was, but
we may never know.

From my ex, who worked
     there briefly, I don't think I'd
want to eat the food.

Why? Because the OP
     is wasting all of our times
by being lazy.

You looked a bit like
     that girl from Modern Family
but with lighter hair.

Stupid question but,
     do people still not know how
animation works?

It's a fall from on
     high to subhuman (she can
still be "brave" of course).

Not taking heed from
     this lesson is what has been
plaguing me for years.

In the end I talk
     myself out of it, which was
my second mistake.

Agree totally,
     both my guitars (a Tele
and a Hummingbird).

Adriano is
     probably closer to Alves
and the Pep ideal.

[deleted] Danish
     writing is very easy
to understand though.

They were powerful
     and rich people who took their
jobs seriously.

You and your girlfriend
     will have many more sexy
times if you get this.

So i call him back
     the next day, and he's like "how
late can you be here?

Let the fucking price
     go up, so we can get off
the shit already.

That's, that's part of life.
     But, you only learn that when
you start losing stuff.

tighten up the kick
     drum and you've got a stew goin.
Terrible at best.

God, you remind me
     so much of me a few years
back it is frightening.

It is becoming
     more and more evident why
Jackson Browne hit her.

Made mine a while back.
     Then like an idiot joined
the NG. Don't do that.

My pup just went through
     two surgeries to remove
five mast cell tumors.

How about until
     any Liverpool player
scores in any game?

Yes. I broke my wrist
     before, I would have rather
broken my forearm.

I've got an app on
     my phone for recording me
talking in my sleep.

However, being
     correct doesn't justify
being such an ass.

Will now probably just
     download the deleted scenes
and be done with it...

Otherwise all u
     can really do is watch each
other masturbate.

-Introduce changes
     gradually Small changes can
make a big difference.

Watched the DVD
     when visiting my Great Aunt
who lives in Phoenix.

I recommend these
     as I'm sure most others will.
They do too much dew.

Also remember
     that this is only against
physical attacks.

I was pretty damn
     confused having never used
either site before.

If he fights someone
     who can circle to the right
he might lose someday.

I can, but I fear
     yours will be inferior
when compared to mine.

I do that right now.
     I'm in high school. Any tips
from my geek elders?

I told him to go
     fuck himself because we don't
want him anyways.

Hopefully I was
     lucky enough to escape
(almost) uninjured.

So its not a true
     story and you did finish
your project on time?

It's funny talking
     to a person while they are
talking in their sleep!!

I will completely
     agree with this, Timmy was
not Timmy that year.

There's a very fine
     line between an amazing
scene and a crime scene.

It's meant to appear
     as if they are harvesting
the white mojo, right?

Hands down to all skins
     Surely you could say the same
thing about Nigger?

I often pick one
     and work with it and the next
day something different.

Or Harry potter?
     Half of the camel toe is
trying to escape Nice!

Much Love. [deleted]
     Your father was my favorite
pitcher growing up.

Learn where you can spend
     your money wisely, and what
stuff doesn't matter.

Ah thanks! Yeah I might
     buy that, for reasons like yours.
###I'M WORKING ON IT.

When the police come
     to deliver bad news there's
normally two of them.

And if you have done
     so already, don't take what
I say personally.

It provides a neat
     sound that I definitely
can make good use of.

I would put the tray
     close up to her since she was
constantly milking.

Yo mama's so fat
     that the Sorting Hat put her
in all four houses!

You may not get it,
     but you're well within your rights
to ask. I agree.

I don't have one but
     apparently minivans
are the way to go.

In the atmosphere,
     both of these metals exist
with an oxide film.

swords are used very
     differently as they can much
easier parry.

Which is exactly
     the reaction the thing is
supposed to provoke.

Uni helps you be
     more successful at working
for other people.

Everything I know
     about British teeth, I learned
from Austin Powers.

Three such winters will
     follow each other with no
summers in between.

My ex heard the sleep
     talking start with a high pitched
"No! No! Please don't! No!"

In my face. So you're
     arguing that guys do not
think of sex a lot?

Okay, then i look
     forward to the next release.
Thanks for the support!

It's hard to describe,
     but there is something special
about watching them.

It can be also
     harmful to teenagers brains
(if used too often).

Enjoy! I don't see
     why you'd lose her friendship just
from asking her out.

Either way, I don't
     give a damn what you think you
are entitled to.

But this one is just
     so egregious that I had
to say something. [We.

So everyone should
     get a bigger vehicle
to protect themselves.

There really never
     is a situation that's
"best" for your potions.

Clearly you guys can
     now vote but it doesn't seem
to make a different.

[deleted] I once
     woke myself up singing Gold
Digger in my sleep.

They may even do
     something bad to the village
women and children.

Some people may be
     able to understand them,
including yourself.

When he gets caught up
     he will realize surfers aren't
the crowd to mess with.

Nice lol Well
     then, by your admission, you
belong in that group.

Because there is no
     great pleasure in my life than
making her happy.

To which she answered
     "I don't know, it's not my bed."
Good enough for me.