Reddit Haikus

This isn't fallout,
     you're not meant to be able
to hoard everything.

I think he's very
     aggressive and I just don't
like him in general.

Start with the balls, you
     want the razor to be good
and sharp at that point.

You know, that other
     war where they got in a fight,
but had to give up.

Even if we weren't
     in a recession *it's just
not that damned simple*.

Because one wrong makes
     another wrong perfectly
acceptable, right?

My point was that you
     are just making assertions
with no evidence.

Everyone else's
     purchase from then on would be
second best or worse.

yeah this made me not
     want to be in this guy's band
ever yes. my bad.

If I find the time
     tonight perhaps I'll write some
hand written letters.

Telling people not
     to play victim is not cool.
"Oh, you got beat up?

because it's harder
     to feel this kind of stuff when
you're not the "target".

Robert had even
     less of a claim on the throne
and he was made king.

And they're from Jersey,
     another cool Jersey band
is Gaslight Anthem.

I is a linguist.
     Did you read the article?
Why is Boxer there?

They open at noon.
     I look like a hot dog fiend
waiting for my fix.

Yeah, stuff like this is
     why "lactose intolerance"
is a misnomer.

Put your ass to sleep
     and firebomb you while gaining
speed with each attack.

Anyway, it was
     great for videos. Edit:
I wrote first person.

That is awesome. Yeah,
     not like that's a common name
or anything. BOOM!

Thanks for the advice.
     TIL Osama Bin Laden
was a Dues Ex fan.

For instance, how one
     spend his Sundays, how to vote,
or what to defend.

I don't understand
     all the doom and gloom around
the Redskins this year.

Name one position
     where the Redskins this year are
worse than last years team.

You can't. This team has
     upgraded with younger, more
durable players.

"You're the man!" he just
     laughed and goes, "No sir YOU ARE
THE MAN!" I miss him.

It's a high pitched sound!
     Hot rubber pressing against
A blackened pavement.

Some programmers make
     more than the company spends
on bottled water!

"Obama won't stand
     up to the Republicans.
Vote for them instead."

The only health risks
     involved stem directly from
nicotine itself.

Really helps to see
     when exactly to refresh
dots etc.

You may need to go
     begging rich family members
if you have any.

You might even read
     the dissents, too, if you'd like
to get a broad view.

Are you implying
     that I am sheltered because
I've never been raped?!?

Nothing to see here.
     Move along. Oh I forgot
about about him.

The first time I put
     on women's clothing, I cried,
because I was me.

Its something we lack
     on the pitch, we hang our heads
very easily.

If you are *aware*
     that you're getting sleepy, it's
time to pull over.

Because Amazon
     has a really expensive
network to maintain.

It will greatly help
     you accomplish the goals you
have set for yourself.

Surprised nobody
     has mentioned this album yet
since it's so unique.

groovy He's telling
     you to start drinking it black.
My year would be made!

THE WALLS." and I don't
     remember it to this day.
Because yes dumb one.

"What are you doing?!"
     "...I'm unpacking. What's wrong?" "WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!"

If you want em, go
     get em. Just don't fool yourself.
[deleted] "Yes, Yes.

Got into my chest
     in my basement, got my stuff
and I ran away.

D37 and H37? are you
     comparing a set of marks
to a single quint?

where can you find it?
     Oh god. This is the first one
I've not agreed with.

I agree because
     my body used to be quite
similar to hers.

I have pointed out
     to her that this strange, but that's
just how she does it.

I no longer dread
     shopping as much as I used
to, so yay for that.

Even the Russians
     realize a lighter bullet
is worthwhile. Cool beans.

Sure did. Do I still
     find myself wanting a smoke
now and then? Sure do.

Turn into a swan
     and rape women What are you
waiting for stupid?

etc You
     probably couldn't get a third
keg in it could you?

[deleted] In all
     fairness, the "plus tips" might be
quite significant.

Wash in one, pile them
     in the other and run rinse
water over them.

Doesn't mean they're not
     scientists, it just means that they're
still human beings.

There might be some truth
     to the idea, but you've
mistaken the cause.

[deleted] Seems fine,
     since you apparently still
live in a dorm room.

At that point I looked
     over at him and realized
he was sleep talking.

I'd like to see this.
     This resembles the Moscow
Metro very much.

Hadn't planned that, but
     reading it again, I can
see how you'd think that.

Well, just keep waiting.
     I know it sucks, I'm going
through it right now too.

It's better than "OOOH,
     DEREK MADE ANOTHER JUMP
THROW". Nice try, er.. hack?

Sounds like a poorly
     formed correlation between
boobs and worth to me.

Toilet snakes can pop
     out of a drain at any
time and bite your ass.

I was smoking ribs
     as I had made a very
good rub recipe.

I once spent the night
     with a lady who woke up
laughing crazily.

SNAP INTO A SLIM
     JIM! Yes, they do. My boyfriend
being one of them.

Take out a loan if
     you need to, start saving *right
now* to pay them off.

Soups and stews are moist,
     so they would obviously
grow bacteria.

From the get go, our
     best and brightest are aiming
at other careers.

You shouldn't have grand
     changes in mood in response
to a small trigger.

If I have a good
     laugh, I really don't care who
provides the content.

I put the rod down,
     bend over to grab the fish,
and heave it upwards.

The overwhelming
     majority of people
in prison are poor.

My life goal, even
     before my career goal, is
to be a mother.

[deleted] very
     contemporary He is
Doctor Awesome quote!

So, Ned basically
     can't tell anyone that Jon
is nobility.

I get weirder looks
     from anything involving
the word anarchist.

Waiter's corkscrew. Big,
     mean fucker with a little
knife blade on the end.

SO. FUCKING. AWESOME.
     He's fucking tool? The dainty
fabric or the band?

[deleted] My wife,
     at the same age, used to say
the exact same thing.

It is certainly
     better now than it was when
I started playing.

It's called "getting you
     to your monthly minute cap
faster" Mmmm splintery.

You have to post when
     you can make it up the hill!
It sounds like a beast.

Not possible. Weed,
     and weed paraphernalia
are still illegal.

Food for thought, is all.
     Are you asking me to pray?
I don't see the point.

sex is instinct such
     is swimming, driving a car,
however, is not.

The degree is just
     the foundation, it's what you
do from there that counts.

Yeah the red line is
     pretty cool and efficient
as is the gold line.

Whether or not it's
     absolutely ideal is
really hard to say.

I've been in the slash
     many times; this is nothing.
You get used to it.

Walking in to work
     I asked him if he wanted
to line up sometime.

[deleted] I call
     next week! oh k. lol.
Does that make it worse?

No issues so far,
     tires aren't old enough yet
to warrant that though.

I think everyone
     who learns Visual basic
in high school does this.

We wouldn't agree
     with it then, and we shouldn't
agree with it now.

Cell phones don't do that.
     Magazine scans do. Prove me
wrong and verify.

I absolutely
     hate it when people do this.
They are saying "what?"

I think the Rio
     Grande might have something to say
about that! Oh, wait...

Why would they do that?
     So you don't report them or
dispute the layoff.

If you can't have fun
     while improving yourself you're
doing something wrong.

This was all discussed
     during one of the hearings
with the commission.

I can't seem to get
     either at the moment, sucks
to be me I guess.

I don't generally
     write much on these, but good luck.
thank you! YEAH! Yeah this.

I guess I shouldn't
     have nested it so deeply.
My penis. No, dude.

What they actually sell
     and how it is marketed
are two different things.

Love, money, power
     or anything else is what
should keep you going.

Why would they do that?
     So you don't report them or
dispute the layoff.

I just want to make
     sure that you asked them no not
play it so loud right?

Since it hasn't, I'll
     let you know, it's really good!
Bacon sandwiches?

Imported taxes?
     The only fix for those is
don't buy imported.

If people like you
     there's a chance they'll try to bring
the character back.

also why is not
     having regenerating
health a bad thing? Thanks!!

Also if it's fresh,
     spinach is a damn tasty
base for a salad.

City of Bones is
     the first book in the Mortal
Instruments saga.

Ok, what happens
     when there is only one store
that sells x, sells y?

You were the one who
     decided to pull the "it's
the Internet" shit.

They recently changed
     their pizza recipe too.
It is pretty good.

TALK TO THAT DOCTOR.
     IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIS ANSWERS,
FIND ANOTHER ONE.

It's actually pretty
     easy, didn't have to rush, but
I used this technique.

That house is going
     to smell like smoke for awhile.
They are delicious.

Muslim group flies off
     the handle and starts yelling
about a refund.

You do have a clean
     car, but it's like it's muddied
up with that sticker.

Hooray chemistry!
     I'm a mathematician
and I second this.

Miley Cyrus said
     she has more fans in Europe
than America.

Ha ha! Do you feel
     more motivated to lose
weight to impress her?

Energy drinks can
     not be blamed for over five
million deaths per year.

While oil prices spiked
     briefly, they quickly returned
to their pre-9/11 levels.

Not without your help
     Chevron. But you're not helping...
[deleted] Never.

He still has the same
     job, just a different person
signing his paycheck.

Just because someone
     should say it, you should not give
these to anyone.

I'm a skinny guy
     so I was surprised with how
effective it was.

I ran a fairly
     successful one once so I'll
share the things that worked.

Many in grocery
     stores are put in by the store
and are not *legal*.

The best part is, you'll
     NEVER hear "I used to be
Libertarian."

Yawn. I have to say
     yawn, because when I actually
yawn you don't get it.

Or their project will
     rely on sound, and it'll be
turned all the way down.

You might be able
     to ride a bike sooner than
you can run again.

/Edit I'm back here
     again trying to explain things
to the unknowing.

Divinity is
     the way the universe works.
It's all Energy.

All while your SO can
     wear it as a necklace, since
she'd only have one.

The swim was brutal,
     and wore me out a lot more
than I expected.

I dig the color
     matching on the deck and wheels,
subtle and classy.

I have already
     seen it, it's a must for all
fans of the movies.

Example: "the earth
     IS a black box system". No.
It. Fucking. Isn't.

More like months for me.
     Seconded. Very, very
good site. Hello, mate!

My skin is starting
     to become sandpaper though.
Best of luck to you.

He should have just stayed
     on top and hit him there, since
that way he can't fall.

Except the AJAX
     request probably gets cancelled
when you leave the page.

I don't know where I've
     been, but I honestly don't
know where it comes from.

Burn them! Son, I am
     PROUD! What would I have to gain
by getting a job?

You bet your ass they're
     IT, they're the *front lines*. I've been
told that I do this.

the mod was probably
     jealous that his little bitch
ass cant grow a beard.

That's creepy as fuck.
     It's called AAA Surplus
and it's AMAZING.

One of them will stand
     by the staircase and just yell
so his voice echoes.

WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?
     He said unemployment would
GIVE HIM TIME TO LOOK!!!

My work is awful.
     But my coworkers like me
So they love my work.

I don't need the two
     dollars to go to a park.
I don't like candy.

Personally I think
     American Apparel
has fucking weird clothes.

[deleted] Only
     the female recruiters tried
to suck your dick right?

if you have any
     specific questions please feel
free to PM me.

I've also been known
     to call my dog up onto
my lap while asleep.

Unfortunately,
     I can't install a dog door
at this residence.

He had mental health
     issues, but he certainly
wasn't retarded.

After all, you might
     hurt the feelings of someone
who *asked* what you think.

It's impossible
     to watch that ending without
getting teary eyed.

Then what? Are you just
     going to hate on her boobs
the rest of your life.

They always have been.
     The only solution is
not to go to war.

There is so much land
     to sprawl over that affects
both of those factors.

Some day, I'm sure, I'll
     drop him a line just to find
out how he's doing.

Chances are that if
     you're getting gear for free, you
don't really need it.

(Sorry apartment
     life won't allow a smoker)
It already was.

Works every time. Note:
     Effectiveness depends on
your attractiveness.

But a chick who wants
     to have sex all the time gets
too much.. please read on.

It's a TV show.
     Just watch a few episodes
and make her happy.

Not one of those kids
     will ever be an asset
to society.

:D Because I try
     so hard God bless you, you tried
Very true indeed.

Join a gang, avoid
     the showers, punch the biggest
guy on the first day.

[deleted] Bambi.
     When the mom died. Makes me cry
every single time.

Keep sitting there, wait
     for the next round of glasses,
and fucking **take one**.

When you've broken down
     to arguing semantics,
you're getting desperate.

Do you often not
     look at the topic titles
before clicking them?

I think discussing
     the topic in a general
sort of way is nice.

Maybe as I get
     older and gain some wisdom
I'll figure it out.

If I'm a little
     bad one day, I try to be
extra good the next.

It sound like this is
     bringing to surface a much
deeper rage in you.

I'd set up the base
     and then have it be attacked
by the space pirates!

I am at a big
     cross road, get a beetle or
travel for a year.

It never happens
     to you until it happens
to you then your toast.

I agree, that beer
     was meant to go with food one
way or another.

Then we will see if
     he really can stop the war.
I don't think he can.

Look at me!" thing is
     as annoying as it is
pathetic and sad.

'and all the pro teams'
     Just because one team is trying
out LoL? man....

What did you eat there?
     I bet that cop is feeling
pretty cocky now.

If I really cared
     about her, shouldn't I be
excited for her?

Sounds like a made up
     story, especially after
reading OP's comments.

Stop being brainwashed
     like the DEA is out to fuck
all of us over.

I know they had them
     in their arsenal, but don't
know if they used them.