Reddit Haikus

Throw out all the junk
     food and don't even walk down
those aisles while shopping.

Then later that night,
     to the bar with my friends who
are back in town. No...

You seem to know what
     you're talking about, so will
you help me with this?

Well, lets turn off Nav...
     You get the idea They're
not from Newfoundland.

Walk right through the door.
     Hey all right! If I get by,
it's mine. Mine all mine!

I agree, I mean
     God came to many people,
not to just one man.

Isn't the Bible
     supposed to introduce us
to God's character?

The shuttles mass due
     to cargo capacity
is the main hindrance.

That seems like pretty
     solid advice to me, am
I missing something?

The issue here is
     that the "service provider"
is making money.

Lot's of simple rings.
     No watches, necklaces or
heavily stoned rings.

Other companies
     strip the backend stuff out but
not motorola.

He become a priest
     later because he couldn't
forget what he did.

I doubt you'll do it.
     You sound like a gold digging,
shallow idiot.

God, I hate my team.
     [deleted] and then I was
like (_)_)===========D~~~~~ I'd hit it.

[deleted] too bad.
     [deleted] Yes, but who would
replace them? China?

If you got a good
     shtick and keep the jokes funny,
stay with it I say.

Whats with all the hate?
     What do you enjoy doing?
Are you a gamer?

They may be able
     to keep him out of jail while
going through appeals.

Cons: Multiple Health
     Risks Pros: Won't get turned away
at job interviews?

Not so much old Carl
     Sagan. Sadly, it's cancer
ridden Carl Sagan.

I mean, I believed
     you, but it sure does look worse
live and in person.

There is evidence,
     for example, that prayer does
not work. I'd start Brees.

But I wouldn't rule
     out your winter wear it is
nice to be cozy.

It all depends on
     how much you will be driving
on which type of road.

The resolution
     or refresh rate is too high
for the monitor.

Ever. I'm sure you're
     secretly a cat yourself.
Watch your back, kitty.

Yeah, your opinion
     is obviously shared by...
not many people.

There is literally
     no reason to take the M14
over the Garand.

Someday I figure
     out this crazy internet.
No, that's not your point.

Just say what you think
     should be said and don't pander
to what the group thinks.

Give him some bourbon.
     If this comment gets buried,
Give him the bourbon.

Is the water cold?
     Could it be hooked up to run
warm water through it?

Until you're ready
     to get violent, nothing will
change for the better.

But if I happen
     upon a spider during
the day, it's docile.

that's not how it works.
     Stumble Upon. There is some
context missing here.

Renting meeting rooms,
     by the way, is considered
"hospitality".

I am not saying
     your face is ugly, only
that you think it is.

Eventually, you
     should try to figure out why
you get stressed like this.

your bike beats a car?
     what a bad car Your grammar
on the other hand...

Many moves still felt
     like they were designed to work
with a control pad.

Since that's how we are
     spending the money, I say
we are over taxed.

I really don't see
     why people are complaining
*so much* about this.

THIS! This tone. This is
     what I wish we were getting
from our Democrats.

I've always wanted
     to try it, but never had
the cash to buy it.

I have been in clubs
     that were crowded to the point
you could barely move.

I tend to chase them
     around with poop on a stick.
Usually it's mine...

Usually you need
     more then you think when it comes
to running cable.

It is a parent's
     job to teach and a childs job
to learn isn't it?

But the structural
     problems that cause poverty
are rarely addressed.

Blowing up a plane
     can kill many more people
than a bus or train.

We aren't name calling.
     We're just in a debate we're
passionate about.

I... ALWAYS use lube.
     Ever since the incident
with my uncle's horse.

My thought is, given
     that I am alive for now,
why not do cool stuff?

Because Conan Rocks.
     Because Conan is funny
and his show was smart.

Still pretty cool though.
     Is that what they are calling
sodomy these days?

I had to go through
     the spec to understand what
I was looking for.

You can say Palin
     is a moron, but now you're
just playing gotcha.

I think you gotta
     keep in mind, there are different
degrees of staring.

I thought that the blue
     'e' was the virus icon.
So coal is worth it?

If you've ever been
     into a girls washroom, ooh
man you'd take that back.

I'll be in Brazil
     waiting for y'all to arrive.
Everybody wins!

I'm married with kids,
     and my parents don't know I'm
atheist either.

The people of North
     Korea (they get to eat now).
Losers: South Korea.

Millions of dollars
     are being held up by NGO's.
This is criminal.

How often do you
     talk with "Strangers", people you
struggle to chat with?

He thinks bigger is
     better, which is only true
until it isn't.

It's been shown to be
     based on fantasy and shown
to cause aggression.

I don't want to get
     my account banned but I would
love to contribute.

That's happened to me
     too, along with another
guy on our server.

practically every
     damn social matter is tied
to one thing. money.

people want to stay
     inside because the food taste
shitty in the truth.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

Stop taking away
     our unnecessary but
pretty extra vowels!

Except it wasn't
     Michael Steele who attended.
It was Erik Brown.

You start the program,
     you end up an officer.
Soldiering is done.

That's why when you mix
     yellow and blue together
you get green, always.

Are you trying to say
     that in a house like that you're
likely to get raped?

Something horrible
     is happening inside of me
and I don't know why.

Either everyone
     is crazy and immoral,
or there's a point here.

No matter how much
     I delete my history, *I*
still know it was there...

I ranted then too
     and it was far far worse then
the one i put here.

You're arguing it's
     better than doing nothing,
but that's not the point.

You won't need a mod
     for that, so I guess you've just
made your own post moot.

Still, they're just hopping
     on the Twilight bandwagon,
and it makes me sad.

Maybe it is time
     to work a barge to China
and hike the great wall.

Really? We drank Crown
     Royal or Canadian
Club when I was young.

Jesus, it is hard.
     My boyfriend and i cannot
complete all the rounds.

Don't think that it would
     be selfish of you if you
weren't to deal with it.

I could make much more
     money working somewhere else,
but I choose not to.

The crisis of male
     masculinity during
the fin de siecle.

What *is* sexist, is
     you insisting that women's
choices are worthless.

at least they're bringing
     the horror to the hearing
handicapped as well.

Yet it seems to still
     not be enough to drive real
political change.

I'm not an alex
     Jones type of guy but I watch
the "touchy" stories.

This video has
     made me totally wish I'd
chosen something else.

Great guitar work too.
     Sounds like it's missing some low
end with the guitar.

I just have to twist
     my upper body to get
this to work for me.

People my age limp.
     A limp is a natural thing
at a certain age.

I called my psych right
     after I was getting all
those crazy symptoms.

Those were the old ones.
     That video was posted
in May of this year.

One of my carts falls
     from sea level to bedrock
and it never hurts.

Why not ALL THE TIME.
     new stephen king book since last
night, halfway through now.

What the fuck is wrong
     with you that you even need
to ask this question?

drug looks really bad...
     Philips PET717 is portable
DVD player.

The best defining
     point, in my opinion, is
the album level.

We started getting
     my son vaccinated when
he was an infant.

If it was never
     very good, it's never been
good enough. Move on.

It depends on his
     circumstance, but it happens
often in the US.

Thanks! I'm not quite sure
     if how rigid the US Code
definitions are.

This. I donate food
     and funds directly to those
in need around me.

bricks of cloth that are
     useless for anything else
other than building.

It might make that right
     eyeball of yours look normal.
Yes The antidote.

I love pineapple,
     I love pizza.. the two just
don't fit together.

Overeat to build
     up a nice insulating
layer of blubber.

During my twenties
     I was in relationships,
and had painful sex.

She wants us to eat
     Thanksgiving dinner with her
ON THANKSGIVING DAY.

You have nothing there
     anymore, unless you count
empty promises.

k don't post this shit
     [deleted] I think he's still
undergrad actually.

The money you get
     for the freight bills we purchase
is payment in full.

Easy. As a once
     pro meat cutter, I throw down
for steel any day!

Lastly, I'm concerned
     with where Apple is heading
with Lion's app store.

I did say he was
     the *bad guy* It was just cool
to see him on there.

No afterlife, no
     souls, no gods or monsters, no
reason for being.

How the chicken lit
     on fire, we many never
know, but it happened.

It gets me funny
     looks when it happens around
new people. the fuck?!

Now can you please stop
     implying that I'm a whore
because I like sex?

"Hey I know you are
     starving and all, and I've got
all this extra grain.

His thoughts on racial
     differences *should* be taken
with a grain of salt.

Well, maybe this man
     needed to be reminded
that humans have hearts.

I miss getting phone
     calls at 1am and watching wax
factory dramas.

Really, I'd never
     be the same again. go on...
about the cell phones.

However they would
     probably look pretty gross next
to my vagina.

those bad boys can melt
     copper, aluminum, zinc
and turn sand to glass.

Anyway, she may
     be able to find a new
man to support her.

Those 'weather effects'
     are just fucking horrible.
Thank you for this post!

They won't wring their hands
     trying to figure out why their
wives are leaving them.

The money you get
     for the freight bills we purchase
is payment in full.

Scientists don't merely
     *look* at strata in the Earth
and *guess* at their age.

Laziness simply
     became me at that moment.
How good are your grades?

[deleted] Desert
     boots are a good idea,
very versatile.

If you're religious
     and trying to justify it,
you're doing it wrong.

I'd like to hear more
     about how you manage 2k
machines by yourself.

You are amazing
     and I will pay it forward
as soon as I can.

Don't hate your mom, she's
     probably traumatized from her
previous abuse.

I think it clearly
     was what the original
poster intended.

Thanks, it totally
     flew over my head until
I compared the two.

Correct me if I'm
     wrong, but didn't you post about
this as it happened?

Gone away? I then
     purchased New Vegas and we're
almost done with that.

I wish you the best,
     hope you come to your senses.
[deleted] indeed.

What kind of change does
     the bible supposedly
guide you to embrace?

They absolutely
     can sue you, I don't know what
you're talking about.

It makes them come off
     as biased comparing those
two games directly.

[deleted] Couldn't
     have said it better myself.
very awesome pic.

The only person
     who has any claim over
delay is Gingrich.

The original
     post claimed these were invalid
because people think.

Anonymous can
     be more credible at times.
Hell no, he's all yours.

go ask their neighbors
     if they need some help around
the house or something.

Well not only has
     Italy never lost, they've
never been losing.

If I were within
     walking distance, I'd probably
be there thrice a week.

It's adorable.
     Not really. If you really
believe so, prove it.

[deleted] hey there
     sexy kitten, you look like
you're about to pounce.

So all guys you date
     are into underage girls?
That's what you just said.

And fixing the show
     so baby palin can win.
Yes, hence my comment.

When the head is stripped
     on small screws, a knife can bite
in and turn the screw.

Wasn't his supposed
     main squeeze Mary Magdalene
some sort of escort?

I always wondered
     what that area would be
considered as well.

I've done that before
     but I get worried about
the professional.

All us little skate
     punks were playing The Ballad
on our acoustics.

Never seen a child
     explore the world by putting
something in his mouth?

And why anything
     the military uses
isn't half as good.

Interviews he could
     and would attend if they didn't
revoke his visa.

They're definitely
     designed by SOMEBODY out
to make a profit.

No, but I do feel
     for you, especially if you're
on vacation time.

OP should have mentioned
     the guy wasn't just christian,
but a freemason.

Also, it *is* named
     after a large chain of stores,
so nothing new here.

Yeah, I can't even
     defend us anymore, just
provide excuses.

Well, every release
     is in closed beta format
to Chinese only.

If people can't move
     generally nothing gets done.
You ever wrestled?

I wouldn't say you've
     known for a long time because
that will piss her off.

You generally don't
     need law to tell you when you're
doing something wrong.

It's like looking through
     glasses coated with a thin
sheen of motor oil.

It's who has who's phone
     numbers in their little black
books that interests me.

Its people like you
     who ruin the internet
for everyone else.

I much wonder what
     is the reason for doing
that in the first place.

It's the same thing, it's
     just not dangerous to you
in its vaccine form.

Not the grandparents.
     Length doesn't really matter
if the game is good.

Seriously, just
     hoof the extra twenty feet
you lazy bastard.

I think so. But I've
     been a MUN nerd since high school
:P Awesome job, man!

Mic and everything
     seem good but I don't talk too
much on games so far.

also have never
     heard surround headphones to be
able to compare.

Musical theory
     simply gives you tools to help
convey the right moods...

Exactly who is
     the Tea Party rebelling
against that is "wrong"?

Seems to me you're just
     justifying your lifestyle
on the internet.

Getting the Mayor
     to trust you is something you
can't guarantee, though.

I think I'm going
     to watch The Thing first, because
I've never seen it.

Once in a while i'll
     come across something unique
and I'll start a thread.

In the first part when
     he puts his hand up, he looks
like techno viking.

I can draw something
     that *roughly* looks like Mona
Lisa with crayons.

It really messes
     with people, they never call
back a second time.

How many people
     cared about wanted the film,
let alone the game!