Reddit Haikus

Flash sucks ass on it.
     However it is on more
than just the Nexus.

Now I understand
     why you always give the best
possible answers.

As everyone else
     said, try to return it first.
If not, go for it.

I tried to watch them
     in the winter olympics.
It put me to sleep.

This is what happens
     when two atomic bombs are
dropped on your country.

If I shoot a gun
     at someone, I would expect
to get shot at back.

If you need a break
     (not sure how big you're getting
the piece) ask for one.

Definitely has
     made a difference in giving
oral to the wife.

Banning abortion
     would prevent you from going
to hell when you die.

What I'm asking is,
     If she is interested, why
not ask the guy out?

I don't have any
     hard numbers, but they pretty
much run this city.

Sometimes I go pet
     my cat when he is pooping
in his litter box.

They can be upbeat
     Sounds warm. and fuzzy. HEY KID!
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

No company is
     keeping someone around who
hits an employee.

pulled out seventh son
     on LP last night to geek
over with a friend.

I don't understand.
     Are they being deported
to Romania?

If you aren't cranked down
     hard enough, you'll have some 'play'
or room to wiggle.

All you have to do
     remember to pick it up
every now and then.

He eventually
     yells and tears the initial
face apart to breathe.

I am a diamond
     player and that thought hadn't
crossed my mind too much?

What's your endgame here?
     It isn't my opinion,
just one that I've seen.

but I sure as hell
     can see how people would be
offended by it.

Cool illustration
     ruined by an atrocious
typeface and placement.

Karma doesn't seem
     to really work out, as much
as we'd like it to.

With his cardio,
     he should probably not dance on
the way to the ring.

Get drunk. Have a one
     night stand. See a therapist.
first good jap driver?

you should watch summer
     heights high That is the new trash
compactor feature.

But it's effective
     and uniform, and for now,
I feel that's better.

It would be a clear
     view if the large square building
was located elsewhere.

did anyone find
     the handshake with the first guy
totally awkward?

"How come you never
     hear about people having
sex in train bathrooms?

geez I'll be a fox
     news plant as well, that's scares me
MAKE ME AN ART PLEASE.

I and my peers were
     definitely NOT that way
when I was her age.

I got my diamond
     studded skull back, and that was
all i cared about.

I think the Berlin
     Airlift and the Marshall Plan
are worth a thank you.

[deleted] Site was
     not shut down, but day to day
operations ceased.

Just to thumb her nose
     in it, Briana Greathouse
is a lunatic.

you are a very
     lucky person if this is
just in your backyard.

That if you ate Fruit
     Gushers your head would actually
turn into a fruit.

Ridiculously
     boring, sounds like he's stoned or
on brown or something.

There is no action
     without a doer, and no doer
without an action.

The rest? Not many.
     And the ones that do don't know
my carry routine.

For spanish speaking
     countries, the S, C and Z
can have the same sound.

I believe you can
     run it off a flash drive too,
but I've never tried.

I work for an HSIA
     provider for hotels all
over the country.

For every cat like
     ugly there is cat that would
have done the opposite.

You just have to be
     smart and pick a job where you'll
stay out of combat.

maybe it's because
     i've grown up listening to his
voice, but even still.

The other players
     are annoyed, but they don't want
to say anything.

Now I remember.
     This happened to me before.
This is why I left.

The Time Machine Did
     It and Double Wonderful
by John Swartzwelder.

The parents who would
     have a problem with it may
not know it's happening.

What is the matter,
     are my opinions so vile
that you cant stand them?

This is the first time
     I've ever gotten my hopes
up about a guy.

The Oceanic
     Six? That sound more like a LOST
tribute band to me.

I'm sure I could look
     this up but what does "Chicken
Fried" mean exactly.

You could ask the same
     thing about drawing a 3-D
object, honestly.

There is no such thing
     as a static culture or
racial purity.

He then takes a shot
     from the beaker, shakes his head
and breathes through his teeth.

Peasants can only
     see officially approved
pictures anyway.

Humans like lions
     still exist, but their numbers
are quickly dwindling.

I wonder if his
     ear is comfortable on
that roll of quarters!

[deleted] Snuff Box
     is my absolute favorite
television show.

There can be only
     one Compare and contrast on
what basis, Charlie?

What good has language
     ever done humanity?
This makes so much sense.

a true basketball
     legend, really brought the Bulls
the skill they needed.

I'm using mustang
     at the moment but I think
I'll give this a go.

Sounds like a shitty
     teacher, and she deserved what
you said about her.

Slightly better than
     McDonald's, sure, but nothing
to write home about.

books and video
     games are similar, i think.
movies are nothing.

[deleted] I worked
     in a warehouse for a week
(work experience).

I've heard it argued
     that its use does hurt others
in various forms.

I don't want you here
     anymore, and I'm going
to show you the door.

Why a graduate
     tax and not just straight income
tax on everyone?

Good times. Do you think
     you need to destroy them, or
just get rid of them?

Kinda. A quote from
     the Guardian article
'"No," sighs Violent J.

Does anybody
     else think it looks like it'll come
down in a strong wind?

Your puny scout rush
     is no match for my server.
It will never die.

Those previous ten
     shoe companies would have had
different approaches.

Before I even
     begin to care what you say,
let me ask you this.

Yes. You probably love
     SUBS over everything else
as well. Shame on you.

This is the difference
     between buying a Hyundai
and a Ferrari.

Games I think. If you're
     interesting in joining, I'm
forming a steam group.

[deleted] He could
     be one of the nicest men
you will ever meet.

I mean you can be
     offended if you want but
I think it's silly.

Boo berry is stoned
     as fuck always, even on
his own cereal.

And a deep long scar
     to go with it from the last
time I went endo.

I was in a speech
     class and we would randomly
have a surprise speech.

Being saved does not
     mean that you can continue
to be a sinner.

Implied Violence
     is modern dance troupe that is
based in Seattle.

Too bad people who
     hate war see the need to hate
and insult the troops.

But you know, it's more
     fun to laugh at people who
don't know what you know.

Those are left overs
     from a wine and cheese party,
somebody brought them.

Know any of these
     corporations that need some
more IT consulting?

My father made me
     wear a crew cut when the mop
tops were popular.

I've had the stream on
     all day today, the last day.
It's SO AWESOME. perl?

For Universal
     apps, there is a bit more work
that goes into it.

Surprise funeral.
     25...I'd be living in my birth
countries golden age.

I said no such thing.
     I fucking live at that height.
Please post your results!

He pushes boundaries
     and he asks Christians the hard
questions lyrically.

It had bad spelling
     and grammar so I put two
and two together.

That sounds really rough.
     I really hope that something
gets done about it.

Your Ex is probably
     burnt out trying to help someone
who won't help themselves.

Why not do it while
     you have the antifreeze out
and that sort of thing.

Why shouldn't people
     play the game the way they want,
the way they have fun?

You did get used, you
     have every right to be pissed,
but you're not a slut.

Worried about what
     little old me has to say?
Touched a nerve, did I?

I have been searching
     for a few days and can't find
the info. Go white!

Cincinnati, here.
     I'd be up for it, but I'm
not super mobile.

Get ham, turkey, swiss
     cheese, hard boiled eggs, bacon, slice
or cut into squares.

Lastly, I don't know
     what to do with the gap next
to the comments feed.

Your dogs are so cute!
     Could be Hair of the Dog, too.
That thought makes me cringe.

[deleted] Would do.
     Okay, half of it might just
be Halloween shit.

I refresh this post
     every hour to see if there
are any updates.

we also play wow...
     and I only played the sims
before I met him.

They've found a running
     back who can make people miss.
This is exciting!

Agriculture is
     already automated,
that's the whole damn point.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," says
     the bartender, "we only
serve men in this bar".

How the hell can you
     down vote something that god damn
delicious looking.

I miss it so much,
     but there's not a decent break
around where I am.

lol It might
     be useful to understand
the legal context.

Science is so cool!
     The final countdown is now
playing in your head.

The focus in schools
     like mine is state testing, state
testing, state testing.

If that doesn't work
     try "horny goat weed" that stuff
always worked for me.

Both mundane (Chicken
     and Tuna) and fancy (Shrimp
and Lobster). Spices.

Took me a while, but
     realized that the upgrade didn't
install Unity.

Eventually you'll
     build trust or you'll know that you
actually don't trust him.

Unfortunately,
     life takes its turns and didn't go
the way I had planned...

We are no longer
     separated into tribes
by geography.

I'm still working on
     trying to keep my losses small
and make my wins big.

yet this fucking mind
     rape occurs all the time you
heinous vermin! Yes.

Given what he has
     related, his functioning
seems highly impaired.

Your books of second,
     third, and forth hand gossip are
not the Messenger.

Do they let you get
     naked in the winter time
here and go swimming??

This is why I don't
     donate money for "insert
disease here" research.

Serious matters,
     put into comics, both sad
and entertaining.

I didn't read the 'to'
     in this headline the first time.
So disappointed.

Wait, you mean if you
     don't treat adults like children,
they'll act like adults?

You, sir, are a new
     and interesting sort of troll.
Keep up the good work.

She'll be pissed and will
     try to guilt you over her
V card and will cry.

No, seriously.
     Third year into a degree
in Journalism.

Speaking out, asking
     for help, receiving said help.
Therapy can work.

Who is this? Plain Brown
     T's? However, this comment
isn't relevant.

We no longer use
     insulin and have normal
blood sugar levels.

She looks like she is
     about to gag herself. Wow.
I'm flattered! Thank you!

Friday: had to work.
     Saturday: had to work more.
Sunday: work, then done.

They are there to make
     money, and they're very good
at it. Not really.

The emitter current
     is the sum of the base current
and the collector current.

Nothing that any
     regular citizen would
ever understand.

Use samba message.
     [deleted] Imagine how
awesome that would be.

Not sure how it'll go
     in the long run, but it seems
to work well for us.

A witness got his
     plate numbers and the cops were
able to find him.

you cant be bullied
     if you're anonymous by
the anonymous.

That way, you always
     have something to talk about
(biology). No.

A lot of people
     didn't like it but I think its
decent for its price.

Many children will
     shit themselves with excitement
visiting your house.

If the mother was
     unable to have children
who was the daughter.

So I somewhat know
     the field of IT, I just don't
have the paperwork.

Our company has
     what I consider to be
pretty weird timelines.

I CANT MAKE WITH WORDS
     THE FELT HOW I AM TO TELL
ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.

Just look for the same
     vibe that you did when you were
in the dating pool.

Detach yourself from
     the Matrix Corporation.
Regain your freedom.

Sounds like fun! You should
     make her your real wife for keeps!
What's holding her back?

So you think you can
     love me and leave me to die?!?
speculating much?

--Thomas Jefferson
     I enjoyed this. It made me
homesick for Tejas!

Clicking on "add friend"
     means you agree to become
exposed to their shit.

I owned that first but
     realized I should have just kept
saving for a G25.

JUST GOTTA GET RIGHT
     OUT OF HERE! I don't get it.
Nice and dense paper.

Dennis Shanahan
     (the journalist) used to date
Julia in the 70's.

normally when you do
     that kind of thing in public,
you get arrested.

Choose hostels over
     hotels, but pay attention
to online reviews.

I wanted to name
     our youngest (girl) Saturn j,
but the wife said no.

Cut a steak into
     the shape of a turkey front
view except the tail.

In a **very** crude
     and insulting way the OP
got it somewhat right.

I feel ya brother,
     I feel ya. Ah, that makes more
sense then. Thanks. Good start.

Yes the holiday
     makes no sense, but why must you
be such a downer?

And it's nice to see
     you don't care so much when you
obviously do.

No, but my mother
     calls me her little retard.
I would like one, too.

Welcome to the world
     dominated by corporate
and monied interests.

Anyone who walks
     around with a persistent
smile is forcing it.

Very few cats are
     surrendered for behavior
problems, very few.

You can even sneak
     some into the game then buy
coke to mix it with.

Individually.
     That's some insane finger work
and reaction time.

I don't think you are
     offended and if you are
you need to grow up.

The touch screen was nice,
     but it did seem to affect
the screen quality.

Top companies are
     very selective about
who they interview.

To stay consistent,
     you should have used bacon bits
in place of sprinkles.

You cyclist fucks need
     to stop insisting that you're
equal to a car.

If you can afford
     to get certifications
that might be one route.

If you are burnt out,
     take a year off. Travel some.
Learn some fun hobbies.

I am male and I'd
     like to respectfully say
that this chart is wrong.

I guess my only
     advice would be to actually
say this to her soon.

I feel guilty if
     I don't ride my bike to work
at least once a week.

In that, YOU yourself
     are downloading something you
don't have the rights to.

I apologize
     without meaning, and he looks
up at me. Doe eyes.

This is why people
     should be more upset about
that censorship bill.

Something that can be
     shortened to something that her
friends can actually say.

I'd imagine it's
     just as exciting for you
as it was for me.

The former, while huge
     and ugly, is easily
dwarfed by the latter.

The point in the book
     you're at moves forward as you
continue reading.

Throw out all the junk
     food and don't even walk down
those aisles while shopping.