Reddit Haikus

Central Ohio.
     There are also some in SE
Ohio and NE.

Yes, clicking the "Thumbs
     Up" button is the only
method of support.

What are you eating,
     how many calories are
consumed through soft drinks?

Sorry to be harsh,
     but what to name your kid is
serious business.

Make an outdoor game
     out of it there running is
just one little part.

i'm not reading this.
     whatever you went through, i'm
sure it's quite common.

They will remember
     to fill it from now on. Hugs.
I think I love you.

i have a problem
     staying asleep, not going.
damn professionals.

I'm from Singapore.
     We have one of the lowest
crime rates in the world.

I used my public
     assistance money to buy
drugs, and nothing more.

I am not going
     to be so open minded
that my brain falls out.

You should try to place
     yourself in other people's
shoes once in a while.

Like any group you're
     going to have the fringe who
believe otherwise.

There are many way
     better places to hang out
than Chippewa street.

If you don't believe
     you can fit in, it's going
be somewhat hard to.

The racist right wing
     propaganda machine scores
another victory.

Anyway, I'm off
     to do Creative Music
Tech in Bristol UWE!

There was a kick ass
     story about a vegan
cafe in portland.

[deleted] Yeah, sure
     you plan a divorce, but not
before you're married.

Have you ever tried
     masturbating to a book?
No seriously.

This may sound crude but
     trust me, this is sound advice.
Do you go to church?

Why do we admire
     people that have accomplished
something amazing.

We don't get music
     here, just the sound of passing
trains from time to time.

Currently I am
     forced to pay for wars I am
profoundly against.

its above ok
     good not ok good but great
good ok now. Get.

If you have to live
     with other students, don't be
their freaking parent.

Hang up with the phone
     button again, and music
starts playing again.

I lay there until
     i can't stand it anymore
then pick up a book.

If it is a good
     book i'm likely to still be
reading at daybreak.

Most of this has been
     said already, but I grew
up near Missoula.

I you want to learn
     more about sex your should go
to the bunny ranch.

I guess I should be
     thankful that I had a job
at all this summer.

However, you can
     technically get either one
in either region.

I thought Palm was dead.
     Good to hear, I was worried
I had been to harsh.

You don't have to be
     sleeping around or being
reckless to get it.

I do see your point,
     but these ideals are better
spread in the mainstream.

No it's no Trickle
     down economics at all.
Another straw man.

I need one of these
     right now for my five story
walk up apartment.

That should be enough
     to bring it down much quicker
than simply waiting.

You can call their front
     desk and ask to speak with their
local news people.

You should probably watch
     the shows before you attempt
to make one of these.

I am also just
     trying not to see her as much
as possible now.

You could write a book
     on them and still miss a few
points about their works.

It's the exact same
     crap that religion has, just
with a different face.

So you wash yourself,
     wash your pants while you're at it,
they dry while you do.

Asked for love haikus,
     Came games and profanity,
Is that all they love?

The subtle suspense
     is awesome. Don't drink or smoke.
It might make things worse.

I'll have to stock up
     I suppose. Yeah, the ASA
is a great body.

Anyway, point is
     the last letter is pronounced
"zed" in that version.

This is like listening
     to children talking about
girlfriends and boyfriends.

Also, I have heard
     that the purpose of life is
to preserve itself..

Good luck with him trying
     to fly for the rest of his
life on the black list.

Not to be "that guy",
     but this has nothing to do
with atheism. POP!

Different sized books would
     vary the cost way too much
to make it worthwhile.

Wouldn't surprise me
     if I was going to work
with them. Good for you!

Living together
     before marriage ought to be
required by law. What?!

I find your sources,
     a website someone (Thompson,
Matthew of harvard.

OP seems like she could
     be outside of statistics
the same way I was.

Yes, where they can jog
     to stay in svelte shape without
getting two black eyes.

How many dinners
     with you will it take to get
to *her* fine red ass?

I fell on some ice
     and later got thawed out by
some of your scientists.

As I open up
     the door, I hear another
door shut behind me.

Fuck, it's Europe, go
     anywhere and it won't be
that hard to get laid.

I personally love
     the slow build up ala 1970s
espionage films.

May not make for great
     reading but it's certainly
cathartic for me.

I guess you could say
     I have a sixth sense about
these kinds of things. Man.

I've been to Israel,
     and the interviewers are
very effective.

I don't think they are
     going to put one in if
she is a virgin.

Now, i will complain
     each and every single time
some asshole does the.

Nothing wrong at all
     with sexual tone in games.
It's GOOD. And healthy.

There is a lowest
     common denominator
among any group.

Honestly, I'd be
     bothered with this sudden NEED
to have sex with you.

The ability
     to generate code and then
evaluate it.

And aperture is
     just as important, or more
so, than focal range.

(assuming you know
     what i mean) OP's solves the first
reviewer's complaint.

Bill the customer
     and the manufacturer
for the same repair.

Which Military
     School? A samurai sword signed
by Randy Jackson.

Spare headlight bulb is
     always a good thing to tuck
in there somewhere too.

Yeah. He really might
     as well have called them retards
at the same time. Ha.

I knew a nice black
     guy of about twenty who
did this at movies.

Sometimes I feel like
     I would have been better off
with formal studies.

Kind of like after
     watching a great movie or
reading a great book.

So, what do people
     primarily remember
the 80s for? the 70s?

The amount of time
     and money this has saved me
is incredible.

So I'm sitting there
     outside the restaurant, waiting
for her to show up.

This would be awesome
     if OP did it like tapas.
Bitches love tapas.

You forget when you
     want somebody else to pour
their life into it.

its above ok
     good not ok good but great
good ok now. Get.

Hey, I don't know how
     much this will help, but I was
sent this recently.

So tell me, how would
     the average Iraqi or
Afghani do this?

You don't need chlorine!"
     He just sat and looked at me
like "Silly Human!

You got off easy.
     In New Zealand we get charged
by the gigabyte.

I'm having a hard
     time thinking of how you came
up with that combo.

I'm not at a mac
     at this moment so I can't
be more specific.

Go try and use them
     to play a game and let me
know how it works out.

I swear, this country
     is becoming more and more
stupid by the week.

What's wrong with spitting
     on black people, or asians,
or whatever else?

That thing never has
     useful or interesting stuff
in it anyway.

Do not be upset
     or disappointed if you
get a rejection.

Both times when my kids
     were born (both having my wife
in labor all night).

But then, somebody's
     boss actually looked at the bill
I was running up.

So it just depends
     on the college and often
the building itself.

The prosecution's
     loss, however, was even
more richly deserved.

its above ok
     good not ok good but great
good ok now. Get.

Wow, sounds interesting...
     maybe I should try something
and see if it works.

In fact those classic
     shapes you showed me are the most
appealing to me.

Try playing a few
     games sober and see how well
you do. What's your point?

I dreamt that I was
     on a conference call at work.
The entire night.

[deleted] YES, WHERE
     CAN I GET SOME OF THIS CHAI
TEA? My sister does.

Don't you even dare
     to complain about this guy
linking to the source.

You are young and 'missed
     out' on what most of us did
in our early 20s.

Ow! Someone's elses
     missed joke hit me in the eye!
I got the joke TWICE!

You have no fucking
     idea what you would do.
I hope you are right.

brings a new meaning
     to photogenic Yeah, didn't
mean to post that yet...

Either the one you
     saw it in or the one you
think it was made in.

I think the entrance
     to Target should have people
splattered all around.

I almost feel like
     he's being compassionate
for the sake of it.

It's surprisingly
     easy and inexpensive
to get fake papers.

They say LA has more
     musicians per square inch than
any other place.

Fuck you man. I don't
     care if my clothes aren't as clean,
I like suds. Fuck you.

Labor costs is where
     "audio installers" will
typically rape you.

And you'll never pick
     someone up if you end up
passed out on the lawn.

Fun stuff... As other's
     have said I wouldn't worry
about the water.

But we are clearly
     not starting from scratch, doing
so would hurt us all.

Or who did? This is
     limbo, nobody's dream or
anybody's dream.

My objection is
     to police encouraging
this law to be made.

[deleted] If you
     don't mind my asking, how did
this windfall occur?

That's gross! You should use
     some king of instrument, like
pliers or pincers.

ESPECIALLY if they're
     so we you have to worry
about drainage holes!

They are not selling
     their service to fight in war,
they are advisers.

And people living
     up here aren't living "into
the wold" fantasies.

Didn't think that one through.
     OK, I got one, pretty
similar actually.

I like it that way,
     because I don't have to stop
and look for a song.

They are there in case
     I need them to stay warm *when
I am in my car*.

Also, I really
     doubt you'll get your money back
once the clothes come off.

Another use would
     be a function that accepts
any integer.

You just have to keep
     having more sex to work on
these issues. Oh darn.

Inflated reports
     don't fail field sobriety
tests, drunk drivers do.

And yes, I think if
     you have drugs in your car you
should be arrested.

Yeah, it's been around
     since the early 50's, but there's
nobody used it.

Do I just date guys
     who have trouble cumming or
am I bad at head?

This is amazing!
     I am so happy that you
posted this, thank you!

Props to whoever
     actually did it, cause I don't
remember their name.

Being a seamstress
     doesn't automatically
make you an expert.

My first thought: "Einstein
     would have just checked the units...".
Eh, c=1 anyways.

You are saying you
     aren't attracted to people
who are that "shallow".

My journey lead me
     down the path of style rather
than material.

You need to put on
     some sort of sparkly stuff on
your face before hand.

I'm willing to buy
     you the right outfits so don't
worry about clothes.

As a Virginia
     Tech alum, I'd have to go
with "Enter Sandman".

Thank you for taking
     the time to write out a long
and detailed response!

Don't get me wrong, I'm
     sure that it's plenty of fun
in multiplayer.

[deleted] Feel free
     to do so right here, my friend.
Fuck Thome. you're welcome.

I can understand
     how if you missed a few parts
you would be confused.

The fact that I didn't
     figure it out for myself
should be telling, though.

This is great. did you
     have something to do with this?
Get over yourself.

Like I'm just going
     to believe that with a flash
comparison site!!

Got some awesome old
     nikes in mint shape for really
cheap, etc.

Dammit, they just closed
     the borders. For the union!
Mine wasn't a joke.

I believe you may
     be underestimating
the speed of a chimp.

[deleted] Songs aren't
     timeless because they're played on
old technology.

...Actually, wanna just
     link me the resources you're
using for planning?

If you kick over
     someone's bike, you'd better be
ready for a fight.

I concur, good stuff.
     I'll try to hear more of them.
Do you know Cynic?

There are people who
     prefer core groups to the more
open buffet style.

Club since there was no
     "audio" or "video."
I don't like reading.

"I want to tell you
     something, we've got no better
friends than Canada.

His big ambition
     was to somehow get into
corporate consulting.

Anyway, this is
     great news but malaria
work needs more funding!

Touche :D I'd take breaks
     :D You may want to recheck
the less running part.

Your course of action
     really depends on whether
or not she is hot.

I dunno, lining
     up used to be a big thing
when I was a kid.

I can't seem to stop.
     So I've become the person
I'm making fun of.

Cars were cheap and car
     insurance was very cheap
or non existent.

You can move up one
     from the bottom of the list
pretty easily.

Also: let me know
     when you get that technical
writer slot approved.

Several. I despise
     all caps, however agree
with the general thrust.

Check dis out, I once
     had a fish yo, but my moms,
she was allergic.

He buys me a shot
     and shows me how to exit
out through the kitchen.

It's more "romantic"
     if you just guess what they want
and hit it spot on.

Basically, there's one
     written language and many
spoken languages.

If we've hit peak oil,
     scarcity will be a real
issue at some point.

for sure man, who knows
     where ill be driving around
during College time.

I know someone whose
     parents waited until their
mid 30s to have them.

There are people who
     hear voices in their head, does
that make it normal?

It's not a wasted
     vote, it's your vote, quit being
part of the problem.

The first 20-ish minutes
     are yoga and will get you
used to the movements.

So use the first two
     years to meet people that you
would have never known.

Off of the downstairs
     living room there is this weird,
small, windowless room.

Fair warning: You might
     not feel it, but you might be
doing some damage.

Because I don't want
     to have to see you and know
I can't have you" line.

Now I won't say that's
     certainly what it is, but
that's what it looks like.

When I go to sleep,
     if you wake me up, you are
in big trouble. yup.

Stupidly telling
     the truth will get you nowhere
on questions like that.

No more. Since Darth will
     be making what is needed.
It's the internet.

By reading it, God
     may choose to reveal to you
the truth of the Word.

That is why I will
     tell my kids they need to bathe
in their underwear.

"why are you KILLING
     YOUR SISTER!?!?!" /end sarcasm
Fuck, yes! I _knew_ it!

That's the same as weak
     atheism in that it means
you believe neither.

It was interesting
     and enjoyable until
the cool sailboat sank.

It doesn't say yo
     can't be a mean clown, naughty
clown, etc.