Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 1735 of 1746

Haiku #29844

If by "once gorgeous"
     you meant "ugliest spice girl"
then you are correct.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29845

Shit, we probably looked
     like we were playing Twister
in 3D or something.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29846

Thank you very much,
     I enjoy classical on
these type of things too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29919

Um here's a weird thing
     that happened and that I helped
happen recently.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29920

I have a few things,
     with different doctors, lined up
in the near future.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29921

TIL. Do you perhaps
     know whose ideology
Paul is following?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29922

Going for a smoke,
     I'll let you gypsies know if
I hear anything.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29923

and a weekend filled
     with watching porn all day is
not a rare issue.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29924

All the other stuff
     is meaningless if my kids
grow up retarded.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29925

If it was written
     exactly like it sounds, there
would be no problem.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29926

We had the shortest,
     smallest guy in the whole school
that we used as "bait".

Score: 0          

Haiku #29927

Let him know how you
     feel about her but don't get
directly involved.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29928

I feel like I want
     to distance myself from him
now and just move on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29929

[deleted] *Good thing
     I've been hoarding all of these
italic pixels.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29930

Don't let yourself be
     satisfied with how much you
learn, keep learning more.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29931

He has said the whole,
     'hey, pot, whatever, no big
deal' to Walt before.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29932

Yes, if a restaurant
     *appears* to be safe, it will
be a huge success.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29933

It's an otherwise
     epic toy to have if you
can get it going.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29934

You need this extra
     power because your screen has
build up over time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29935

but i'm trying to learn
     that this fucking stupid game
can be fun i guess.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29936

Data is hot though,
     I'll give you that. Omg,
is the cat ok?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29937

Otherwise you should
     ask the vet, they could also
be ill or something.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29938

Hey, guess what? That means
     any random idiot
could have written this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29939

You might want to cut
     up a pair of black stocking
to cover it up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29940

subaru people
     (at least the ones i've met) don't
hate anybody.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29941

She is the reason
     I'm thinking of going back
to blonde! Oh my god!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29942

What program would you
     use to carrier unlock?
Yes, let's move backwards.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29943

Guess the only thing
     I can do is take the job
and kick ass at it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29944

I'm an atheist
     Libertarian, and there's
plenty more of us.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29945

Lol. If you
     need a pickup Merc healer,
I can heal for you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29946

One of the drives failed
     in a machine that wasn't
being reinstalled.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29947

And if anyone
     orders you to go one mile,
go two miles with him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29948

Ernest Hemingway
     on Writing and Bird by Bird.
Maybe, maybe not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29949

There is no one else
     to blame but Blizzard and their
stupid policies.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29950

Thanks. I didn't. Where at?
     [deleted] Vietnam had
to fight many wars.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29951

How is that any
     different than taking money
from their bank account?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29952

A decision has
     several options and a choice
is made between them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29953

I'm pretty sure those
     would make pretty weird sounds when
the drills are running.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29954

He was a Christian...
     and also an alchemist
and astrologer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29955

Clip my wings so you
     know were I am, I can't get
lost when you're my man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29956

Temp logs for coolers
     and hot counters are never
done they are all forged.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29957

You finally got
     the lock off and you're wasting
time taking pictures?!?!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29958

Is it because you
     are *afraid* to answer why
you are doing this?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29959

the original
     kid gets the pen back and all
the ink is used up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29960

I'm hearing April
     when intel's new ivy bridge
processors come out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29961

Name me a single
     jazz, blues or folk musician
who hasn't done that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29962

I'm also Swedish,
     but I don't really know why
we keep doing this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29963

So I doubt it is
     the case here, just thought it *may*
be worth mentioning!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29964

I could no longer
     listen to the word of mouth
from friends and family!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29965

and I didn't know how
     to do my tie, so I asked
the first girl for help.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29966

Seven?? I'm gonna
     go out on a limb and call
"Bullshit". Who's with me?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29967

For most men (not boys)
     getting their partner off is
very important.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29968

I've waited all year
     for summer, and the next week
is looking wicked!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29969

You shouldn't expect
     payment for something which you
volunteered to do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29970

That's why I lean toward
     the black flag quite a bit more
than the yellow one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29971

You can't achieve true
     anonymity, but you
can get close enough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29972

Good luck! was getting
     frustrated as i couldn't
aim predictably.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29973

Fascinating shit
     if you actually think about
what's happening in them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29974

I'm speculating
     over something I have no
understanding of.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29975

Among all people
     who eat tacos, one person
eats the most tacos.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29976

I'd also suggest
     some eye make up that would make
your eyes look bigger.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29977

I mean, it's akin
     to me asking a homeless
guy for some spare change.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29978

Is this in response
     to one of the articles
I linked? Hot chocolate.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29979

I am, however,
     familiar with the people
portrayed in that show?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29980

Nope I didn't, I was
     simply stating that player
actions follow lore.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29981

I'm just simply not
     fond of eating animals.
It just disgusts me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29982

I hadn't seen it.
     About fucking time they get
held accountable.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29983

Well, there's a pickle.
     Marriage blurs the line between
church and state IMO.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29984

Thank you for taking
     the time to investigate
this sir. Umm it sucked?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29985

The story itself
     grossed me out too much for me
to even finish.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29986

Err. There seem to be
     some major math flaws with this.
Good guy ravens fan.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29987

You'd be engaging
     in speculation to try.
I didn't say they did.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30060

Unfortunately
     our public transportation
is sorely lacking.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30061

Find out exactly
     what major at each of them
is best for your goal.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30062

The thing that sucks is
     if you want to go back you
have to pay to play.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30063

That way you can curl
     up around a heating pad
while he rubs your back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30064

It just sounds too good.
     The Alberta guys at least
made it sound shitty.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30065

This seems like something
     you would easily miss when
adding sounds in post.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30066

My husband actually
     does say a lot of the things
in this video.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30067

Honestly, there are
     plenty (if not too many)
games to fill the gap.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30068

Honestly, from what
     you've written it seems you think
love should be selfish.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30069

If you have any
     other tanks you're curious
about let me know.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30070

That's good stuff. Can you
     say when this might resurface
in California?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30071

I will probably get
     down voted but I really
disliked this movie.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30073

In fact, the Catholic
     Church was just as barbaric
as the Romans were.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30074

Most of the time if
     you just kept to yourself no
one would cause trouble.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30075

And most ideas
     lend themselves better to some
genres than others.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28648

I was wondering
     how many of those slogans
would make it on here!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30076

But a girls gotta
     do, what a girls gotta do.
just a lame trolling.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30077

In fact, the thing you
     are saying is undefined,
and self referencing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30078

It does not take too
     much to run insane glitter
over hard actually.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30079

I've got a hundred
     dollars that I want to send
to his opponent.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30080

These are all very
     basic but in essence what
people try to do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30081

The misfit bully
     is not something I ever
encountered myself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30082

False. There are at least
     two games that matter every
year, no matter what.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30083

I guess people don't
     need to do it too often
in colder places.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30084

I figure that more
     translators would be helpful,
but I may be wrong.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30085

It's okay if you
     separate, though, if you can't be
with her anymore.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30086

Sure but Israelis
     are very good at hi tech
and cyber warfare.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30087

If it's bad for you,
     our city probably should've
been wiped out by now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30088

This game is a lot
     more fun when someone is there
to suffer with you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30089

[deleted] After
     only two months, stop talking
about future plans.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30090

The people who play
     Operatives properly
are terrifying.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30091

In some workplaces
     that is called shoulder surfing
and is frowned upon.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30092

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.
     YOU KNOW I'M SERIOUS SINCE
I'M USING CAPS LOCK!!!!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30093

If people know what's
     going to be aired, there is
time for a backlash.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30094

Stunning. [deleted]
     [deleted] No matter, what?
Nice try, Kim Jong Un.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30095

It annoys me when
     spaceships fly like planes and you
can hear the engines.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30096

Seriously, its
     not like he's going to get
into the Whitehouse.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30097

props for honesty!
     [deleted] Stalk Jennifer
Lopez, you can't miss.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30098

The story isn't
     meant to be taken as fact.
It's a metaphor.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30099

Just last saturday,
     i play a game and we lose
because we were 3v5.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30100

Drop $10k, drop a film,
     steal the souls of kids who don't
know any better.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30101

The first Mass Effect
     has a steeper learning curve
than the second one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30102

thanks for the reply..
     I will ask you a question
later on again.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30104

Something really low
     key like, "Hey man, haven't heard
from you in ages.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30105

I've always wondered.
     Is it because you do not
know when to use those?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30106

Evolution says
     that only the strong survive,
and the weak are culled.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30107

All I'm asking is,
     why is it so hard to leave
something unexplained?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30108

[deleted] Patience...
     I hope. Go home Flanders! Who?
The Russians. That's who.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30109

The Russians. That's who.
     More than one too! too lazy
to type the whole word...

Score: 0          

Haiku #30110

"He is no player
     for a great European
club," Netzer told Bild.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30111

At which store and how
     recently did you find it?
Thanks. [Fatality!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30112

Let's pretend I like
     to drive drunk out of my mind
because it is fun.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30113

Also to this day
     the Unsolved Mystery theme
song makes my skin crawl.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30114

I thought they were all
     just good Italian catholics
in that area.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30115

If it had to be
     deleted, it had to be
something really bad.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30116

I'm less familiar
     with what it's like to actually
live in North Laurel.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30117

I can't wait until
     I'm out of high school. Whole new
respect for the man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30118

In fact anything
     in the government should be
full transparency.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30119

He may look that way
     but he's definitely not
that type of person.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30196

I am allergic
     to tomatoes and I am
offended by this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30120

It can be, with all
     the programming, but you don't
*have* to do all that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30121

I used to tell her,
     "I love you more than you know."
Maybe I was right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30122

Try again later.
     please post pictures of yours when
you're finished with it!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30123

[deleted] Hey there's
     some reason in the comments
*all* the way down here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30124

It does that because
     the horn is pointed up toward
the ionosphere.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30125

It's either viral,
     or just some people faking
stuff to get noticed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30126

But it doesn't work
     when half of the electorate
are also insane.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30127

They will continue
     pushing out bills that keep us
on the defensive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30128

No problem. Fucked up
     business up front, less fucked up
party in the back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30414

They had a meeting
     the day that (most of) Congress
was going on break.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30415

I know it sounds weird,
     food at a gas station, it's
wonderful trust me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30416

Some lady walks up
     and starts telling my mom stuff
about the baby.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30417

Nothing is really
     banned as long as it doesn't
do permanent harm.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30418

Old image is old.
     That's not even the Steelers
logo either. Nice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30419

We could extradite
     half the US population
for gun possession.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30420

When the lightning cracks
     and Michael Myers gets up
from behind the bed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30421

At the time that meant
     checking out all the ghost books
at the library.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30422

It's just a difference
     in how our brains work, and there's
nothing wrong with it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30423

Sure he wouldn't want
     you to be sad about it,
hard as it maybe.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30424

Should I send them off
     or just try and find someone
local to go to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30425

I dunno if I'm
     going to sign up yet, but
I'll be there for it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30426

the invisible
     hand of the free market needs
your fish to die. Thanks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30427

Oh shit you guys are
     standing up for something now?
Did I spark something?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30428

We were all driving
     in the same car, and they start
rapping to this song.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30429

I was unaware
     until now that your god had
such limitations.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30430

Should I buy the A7
     or wait until it is out
for more than a year?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30431

I think what really
     made me laugh was the smiley
face in the corner.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30432

Killing Floor has some
     very colorful maps, but
brains are always gray.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30433

Sweetest small dog you'll
     ever meet (because she thinks
she's a lab) but dumb.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30434

Not a single fuck
     was given by anyone
in the neighborhood.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30435

Start admitting it,
     there's nothing wrong with a man
liking musicals!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30436

I hated falling
     off the edge of the world down
to the next level.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30437

I'm not one to call
     for the banning of porn or
anything like that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30438

What part aren't you sure
     about, because it couldn't
be much more clear cut?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30439

[deleted] Sounds like
     your garden variety
zombie infection.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30440

i feel like many
     people do For example
rolling your own joints.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30441

Thing. You used it, you
     enjoyed it, and therefore you
should have paid for it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30442

Later I call back
     one of the girls and chase her
down with a chainsaw.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30443

It says "no matter
     what evidence you show me,
I won't change my mind".

Score: 0          

Haiku #30444

I don't think it would
     be very witty if you
used it all the time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30445

Do what's best for you
     and the heck with everyone
else's opinion.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30446

It's awesome to see
     so much people offering their
help for the server!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30447

Seems to be running
     on it's own engine, shooter
from the ground up. Ha.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30448

Battery life has
     improved, and performance could
even be improved.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30449

You said Jared is
     "out now" so I assume you
mean out of prison.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30450

Basically its like
     playing single player but
with other people.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30451

Can someone explain
     why riot constantly is
talking about this?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30452

Then you felt the need
     to scare him? Have you no shame?
That poor, poor fellow.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30453

Is it worth going
     North a bit? Yea, but he has
still played well all year.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30454

I still remember
     the Game Informer cover
story on that game.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30455

That's not right. Why don't
     you block him online so you
don't see him on there?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30456

I'm usually not
     the lowest scoring but I'm
in the bottom half.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30457

:P Any response?
     that's just too much christian love
for me. No problem!

Score: 0          

Haiku #30460

But heaven forbid
     that someone defines a word
differently than us.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30461

Bullshit. You don't need
     to give them your phone number,
you can skip that step.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30462

Basically its like
     playing single player but
with other people.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30464

I can't help but get
     all wistful talking about
childhood memories.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30466

Just keep your eye out,
     and I'll try to remember
to pm you too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30467

There are no other
     printers listed and it is
the default PC.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30468

The US cannot claim
     this, because he is in no
way linked to the US.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30469

On the other hand,
     I could be wrong and you'll get
tons of info here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30470

That's a great story!
     I'm only disappointed
you lost at nationals.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30471

"Yes dad. All cable
     repairmen know how to do
that" I thought "Hey, cool."...

Score: 0          

Haiku #30472

I have no respect
     for someone that points to their
badge and says "See this?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30473

Enlarging any
     other section should also
work to be honest.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30474

I ordered mine on
     the 6th and it's coming
in on the 19th.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30475

I don't want to work
     forever, know what I know,
or beg or follow.

Score: 0          

Haiku #30476

We can make it one
     DOS attack on all listed
phone numbers commence?

Score: 0          

Haiku #30477

Nine murders over
     six years and these guys lose faith
in german system?

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:30 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.