Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 1733 of 1746

Haiku #28789

Love you body No,
     but people often call me
german where I live.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28790

I've always used down
     bags, often in very wet,
humid conditions.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28791

Plus, it helps people
     remember and be able
to repeat your words.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28792

The government "damn
     well better put a stop to"
people being killed?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28793

Which was directed
     by none other than Stacey
Peralta. I think.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28794

You can tell that Lee
     isn't putting the effort
that he did with Hush.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28795

As for the last joke,
     I think you know the punch line
fell a little flat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28796

I'm honestly not
     sure what an appropriate
reaction should be.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28797

We haven't fucked up
     our planet quite enough yet
to resort to that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28798

When your a kid, you
     just bounce, smash your head, get up
and do it again!

Score: 0          

Haiku #28799

That's a wall of text.
     Well, I hope there's something you
find interesting there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28800

Where the taxpayers
     absorb the cost for the most
expensive patients.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28801

This video should
     have been the end of it. Damn.
You calling me dense?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28802

How long is the flight,
     and what sort of cost would you
be looking at? Right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28803

But you'll see people
     in costume from Thursday night
to Monday morning.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28804

LOL. Its how
     the controller should have been
made in the first place.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28805

I use a mac too
     and got this on my first try.
And it registered.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28806

We know this is not
     the case and need to be more
open about that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28807

Let them starve to death,
     because they will go to their
muslim paradise.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28808

In a typical
     match, I'm saving a teammate
like every minute.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28810

I miss you Guinness.
     You were one of the coolest
cats that ever lived.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28811

my eyes see Happy
     Tree Friends Because we are more
eager to get laid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28812

If you have talent
     and live in the area,
a visit can't hurt.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28813

But then again, you'd
     have to define "hijacking"
before you did this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28814

I whipped the wheel right
     into him and he countered
by steering away.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28815

Pittsboro General
     Store is good, too. I agree;
those two are good ones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28816

I'd be in, but don't
     you think we would need someone
to "lead" a read through?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28818

It's stupid-- but I'm
     not here to stop people from
saying stupid shit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28819

Go on, make your jokes
     about our helicopters
being upside down.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28820

Sorry, our power
     has been minimized greatly
by big government.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28821

The face on the left
     is some South American
drug cartel's doing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28822

Very unusual
     for Nottingham yeast to be
quite so aggressive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28823

They travel forward
     and backward in time in their
own time machine, right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28824

We might be going
     back for a kitchen table
and chairs pretty soon.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28825

Anything below
     20C. Tried. Knights of New zapped me.
I can see it now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28826

Still doesn't answer
     the question of who she is
or why I should care.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28827

Waffle House: It's 2AM
     but there's still time to make one
more bad decision.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28828

Hey you're very cute!
     I'm an Ent in Germany.
Whereabouts are you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28829

If you go the 'right
     way' you'll never see Dragon
Soul this expansion.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28830

I gave as much time
     to the raising of my child
as the mother did.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28831

I did, and it just
     gave me access to the same
things free accounts get.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28832

No one talks the same
     in "real life" as they do on
the internet. Why?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28833

Forty minutes long,
     with four sleazy random guys
from the area.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28834

We should be more like
     Neil. Nothing wrong with keeping
up with pop culture.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28835

I don't really look
     at Illinois state police
the same after that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28836

Haters gonna hate.
     Seems to match up well. The New
England Patriots.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28837

Color me surprised.
     First wake and bake of Christmas
break and I see Drake.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28838

He won't use that MAV
     for what is supposed to be
used and help his team.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28839

Game probably can't be
     too demanding though, depends
on your mac I guess?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28840

Am I the only
     one who sees the words "Anal
Play" on the last card?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28841

Then what? What will you
     do with all the restrictions
and bull shit removed?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28842

The part where you crawl
     through the pipe and stab the rat?
Seriously DICE?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28843

If it was really
     the Canadian aisle, where
are the ketchup chips?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28844

I was wondering
     when they were going to start
beating the war drums.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28845

I don't mistreat them
     in anyway, but they are
fucking tough as shit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28846

Are you a wizard?
     So do you actually learn how
to dance from these games?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28847

only purpose was
     dependency management
and build releases.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28848

Build a system large
     enough that it would change how
we think about space.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28849

Two fish are swimming
     in a lake and suddenly
bump into a wall.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28850

That creep can roll, man.
     I cant find it anywhere
on the internet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28851

49ers And wouldn't you
     know I *just* renewed with those
fucks early this month.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28924

Regardless, you still
     don't respond to dudes who hit
on you on the street.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28925

Though, you could probably
     use your imagination
and get pretty close.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28926

Secondly, you need
     to have a control, and things
to compare it to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28927

Art will never die
     as long as those who enjoy
what they do exist.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28928

Also, we did split
     Germany with the Russians....
Wasn't just the US.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28929

A pity you do.
     Emma Stone as anything
is perfect, really.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28930

Side question, why is
     "young girl" a qualifier
for the harassment?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28931

I really don't see
     their horrible misguided
view on this changing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28932

Then he can pick out
     two for himself and you can
pick out one for him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28933

new Was the law firm
     Morgan Lewis and Bacchus?
What are carriers?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28934

When something different
     comes into view it can be
scary, isn't it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28935

if it 'will not be
     tolerated', why doesn't
anything happen?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28936

It was apparent
     he was just out and having
fun, meaning no harm.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28937

The fact is their first
     response to the boycott was
'We didn't feel a thing!'

Score: 0          

Haiku #28938

Do you think I'll still
     get a lot out of the show
without that one piece?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28939

It's those ears! Well its
     the fact that im coming here
BECAUSE its better.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28940

If your outlook is
     bleak then things are more likely
to seem like 'bad shit'.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28941

One of the kids called
     the teacher a little bitch
and started towards him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28942

[deleted] No more!
     No more! It tickles! Ok,
just a little more.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28943

They choose safer ones,
     like working in offices,
schools and hospitals.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28944

I'd hate to see what
     would happen when they wanted
help with their homework.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28945

It flew away though.
     Something about a top hat
too seems familiar.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28946

I'm not in Katy
     area, but in the North
Houston area.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28947

Zappa, Miles, The Stones,
     Dylan, and Zeppelin? Yes.
Sunday is the day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28948

Got a source? If you
     can't believe it then how can
we without a link?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28949

For fuck sakes there's too
     many onions This is what
is wrong with our world.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28950

At the point where there
     are more pixels than there are
sensors in your eye.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28951

The guilt she would feel
     if I got hurt, or something
worse, it would kill her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28952

A woman can be
     raped by another woman
with a coke bottle.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28953

Ever noticed that?
     Sucks to be a midget. no,
sorry are there more?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28954

If you also don't
     like bitterness, steer yourself
in that directions.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28955

[deleted] Looks like
     Surrey. You're dating Keenan
Thompson in the 1990s?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28956

[deleted] That is
     true, I expect the offense
to perform better.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28957

I think the dollar
     should say: In Odin we trust.
Neutral safety switch?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28958

Fuck, what is this from???
     *Edit: Wait, is it rat race?
I think its rat race.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28959

If they said black man
     instead of nigger would you
be less offended.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28960

Those lips.... And was named
     Canola because no one
would buy Rapeseed Oil.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28961

A candidate like
     Ron Paul deserves a much more
dignified billboard.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28962

Usually I don't
     feel it, but the conditions
swept it on to me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29041

Not sure why but now
     images of the tank man
are no longer blocked.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28963

All of which contain
     Library's McDonald's has
minstrel shows now? Ha.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28964

I was just pointing
     out, there's no corresponding
fee for the visit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28965

The clones that are thrown
     across the map also deal
the radiance damage.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28966

Is this a recent
     law, or something that has been
on the books for years?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28967

Sounds good. I'll be there...
     A ha. That makes more sense. So,
you can buy meats there?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28968

These words are nonsense.
     I honestly don't know how
to respond to this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28970

Simple but unique
     names keep everything easy
to read and maintain.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28971

That being said, if
     punches are coming, don't just
stand there and take them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28972

Make plans to see her
     some weekend, drive the three hours,
and break up with her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28973

If they can get past
     these problems, they'll easily
clinch the division.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28974

We need few laws, from
     which all other implicit
laws will be derived.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28975

Could still happen ....what?
     I'm the first one? It can't be!
But it is! Is it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28976

For free? You haven't
     the slightest fucking clue what
you're talking about.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28977

Since this is the case,
     once bigotry takes root it's
hard to get rid of.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28978

Where is it located
     in your house and where do you
live in the country?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28979

Like just being plain
     rude to someone's face or mine.
Unacceptable.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28980

And the alcohol
     that *does* taste good will not get
you drunk easily.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28981

They told me a while
     ago that I always asked
to play "The tourist".

Score: 0          

Haiku #28983

Before you ask, yes
     I was screwed by Origin
in a major way.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28984

Not that strange. Well if
     you're still interested later,
send me a PM.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28985

the timing here is
     just perfect Lyme Disease get
checked for it pronto.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28986

It's kind of like trying
     to figure out how much shit
you want to step in.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28987

I love the Divine
     Hat, with the shells. I forget
what hook it calls for.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28988

I was running through
     town chopping down innocents
as the guards chased me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28989

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28990

Striker with damage
     or range with extended mags
is utter bullshit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #28991

Go with the latter.
     Did you take these photos or
did he publish them?

Score: 0          

Haiku #28992

This issue doesn't
     boil down to what genitals
you like to suck on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29134

Can you direct me
     to some more reading on this?
Thanks for the comment.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29135

But I got to yours
     and decided I should take
the rest of them back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29136

Quick, everybody
     take a picture so you can
claim it as your own.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29137

Webster tried to see
     to it that "American"
became a language.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29138

I would politely
     point out that people who pray
tend to think prayer helps.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29140

Who writes the lyrics?
     Which of her songs has the most
meaningful lyrics?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29141

Keeping your hands out
     doesn't work for black people...
[Their hands look like guns!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29142

Like how Life After
     Death was more poppy sounding
than Ready to Die?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29143

Im cringing Right mow.
     Thank you :p I'm a little
slow it seems Good man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29144

Be constructive. Both?
     I see no reason why you
would not tell him this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29145

Will you be bringing
     the whoopee cushion, or should
I run to the store?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29147

I first heard about
     this close to a year ago
[in this video.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29148

[deleted] No clue.
     I can't even find Richie
Hoffman to say thanks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29149

Anyone know if
     the black one is rarer, or
worth anything more?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29150

this will be a lot
     more real than call of duty.
fucking people man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29151

You could also just
     say "If we do get married,
I don't like diamonds.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29152

They have to design
     the game based around the less
powerful platform.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29153

My condolences,
     I feel terrible for you
and your friends family.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29154

I'll see if I can
     fit something in even though
I'm doing finals!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29155

I've experienced
     the above scenario
more than a few times.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29156

[deleted] I've done
     more research, and it appears
to have been a prank.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29157

WAIT, NO, IT'S NOT TOO
     LATE TO GET CAM CAMERON!!!
Such a great movie!

Score: 0          

Haiku #29158

Wasn't there one where
     he came back from the future
to protect his dad?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29159

Will you once or twice
     post here as you go, pointing
to your efforts there?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29160

Thanks for typing this,
     it's getting the gears turning
in my mind for sure.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29161

FORGET IT! I would
     be more concerned about what
kind of guy she dates.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29162

[deleted] Gorgeous.
     Edit: Can a zombie come
over that left wall?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29163

The macro or die
     maps have it available,
for double practice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29164

It's rather tasty.
     I just watched Stephen Fry do
this on QI today.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29165

I just watched Stephen
     Fry do this on QI today.
Pretty beautiful.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29166

Even cooler was
     the fact that he never once
shied into his shell.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29167

I had someone say
     this to me, using almost
exactly those words.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29168

I appreciate
     the interest, have a nice day!
That is marvelous.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29169

But when I read that,
     I just had a chill go down
my spine. What a dude.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29170

I guess you could say...
     EDIT: *puts on sunglasses*
That's a stone cold shame.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29171

Most people will not
     have that luxury and just
go by the front page.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29172

Sure, but STDs
     don't inherently affect
women more than men.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29173

Here's my card; I'd love
     to do lunch or drinks, maybe
next week." Or something.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29174

[deleted] I read
     this as "drunk" instead of "dunk"
and was disappoint.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29175

you are ensuring
     that you maintain the proper
"scale" of production.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29176

I believe these were
     deposited along trade
routes on the Silk Road.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29177

I was the same age,
     but as a gay boy I didn't
really get the point.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29178

So what, you're saying
     you think the government is
smarter than you are?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29179

The number of champs
     that fit these requirements is
actually very few.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29180

Unfortunately,
     this was not the case and these
cities were destroyed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29181

So many memos
     lately nothing to worry
about missing one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29182

And furthermore, why
     do schools start so damn early,
especially high school?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29183

Now the real challenge.
     Is this bullshit, truth, or not
worth caring about?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29184

The authorities
     have reclassified the case
as a homicide.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29185

Y'all ready to stop?
     No. Y'all wanna know why? Why?
Cause. it's. the slam jam.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29186

Cause. it's. the slam jam.
     As a civilian, that sounds
like a lot of fun.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29187

You said it yourself,
     people can choose to believe.
So choose to. Yes, sure.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29188

Are you interested
     in any of these things, or
just pure chemistry?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29189

replies the vendor.
     It won't take you long, but cum
for your Mistress now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29190

After having one
     for a little while though there
should be no excuse.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29191

I'll grab his head or
     stroke his neck or hold his hand
if I feel like it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29192

We don't get paychecks.
     Stupid sexy Spiderman!
what city is that!?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29194

That propaganda
     might work for the masses, but
not us Raider fans.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29195

THe biggest question
     I'd have in mind is WHEN do
you plan on camping?

Score: 0          

Haiku #29196

This course concentrates
     on monetary theory
and business cycles.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29197

He wanted a strange
     rocket launcher, and received
something much more rare.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29198

The missions are cool
     but since you can't replay them,
they are a 1-shot deal.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29199

Need to catch up on
     sleep and murder this mouse that's
in my apartment.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29200

Lawyers stop being
     dicks when you tell them to stop
thinking about law.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29201

It's a shame, because
     Cheech was one of the most down
to earth guys around.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29202

It's almost done but
     now I've got a bloody nose
from crying so much.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29203

Killed the cow, people
     were ok just a bit sore
from the sudden stop.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29204

She enjoys the pain.
     I've lived in quite a few states,
Texas included.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29205

Use some spacing if
     you want people to read it.
No, oddly enough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29344

I call mine Gertrude.
     I picked it up for ten bucks
at a flea market.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29345

If you have a job
     where you're making money now
save, every, penny.

Score: 0          

Haiku #29346

Yum. Pats and Leafs fan?
     You wouldn't be very well
liked in Buffalo.

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:30 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.