Reddit Haikus

My atheist Jew
     friend still goes to Passover
at his parents' house.

Secondly, why do
     I want to see a naked
man cleaning my house?

We used fax machines
     all the time at my old job
(in a call center).

For example, men
     more likely to be doing
physical labour.

I know every team
     buys free agents and I know
that we buy the best.

All signs point downward
     My first month at my first real
job out of college.

I tell him it won't
     be a problem and ask how
long I should do this?

Can't go wrong. Its worse
     when you are awake at night
during a black out.

I bet this guy got
     boatloads of chicks when Twilight
became popular.

i also have free
     stuff A panthers and seahawks
fan out in Texas?

B if you read this,
     know that I will try again
if I get the chance.

I'm giving away
     my equipment this weekend.
He got one that poops?

Man, when your wife sees
     this, she's gonna blow her top!!
Dinotopia!

When they try and take
     back A, it will be nothing
but target practice.

Not raged, that's for sure.
     I want to kill her, rage is
overwhelming me....

You say it's a joke,
     yet you are still adamant
in not changing it.

Isn't it just you
     talking and then being on
the lookout for signs?

-A relatively
     current pop song. -Something jazzy.
They look so awkward.

Who the fuck in all
     practicality signs off
"your wife"? what is this?

I've suffered from night
     terrors and insomnia
for the past eight years.

Straining, you can just
     make out the paws of your wolf,
standing on some string.

The more things we know
     don't work, the closer we are
to finding what does.

Stranger Than Fiction?
     From a creative aspect,
best entry ever.

It's about having
     shame about one's desires,
fantasies and kinks.

Did you have any
     inspirations or did you
see this done somewhere?

[deleted] What is
     *not* awesome about fighting
zombies on the moon?

Have you killed or harmed
     anyone during the time
you spent in the gang?

A true scotch drinker
     will appreciate the dram,
not how much it costs.

I would love to come
     over and help you with some
cable management.

However, if all
     you care about is graphics...
don't get it I guess.

So, since we're both still
     here, how about we move on
to other topics.

in college, I would
     take pictures of my roommates
while they were sleeping.

Fresh produce straight from
     the Uncanny Valley Nice.
That works just as well.

How much did they run
     you on average, if you don't
mind me asking? Ha.

Hernandez isn't
     playing and Gates is injured
and has been all year.

You obviously
     haven't learned what life has been
trying to teach you yet.

Women. [deleted]
     I identify myself
as an agnostic.

If we could find some
     decent tires that aren't too
highly priced we will.

Watchmen. [deleted]
     Have the cord under your shirt
and this won't happen.

A study could be
     done that would determine what
caused the melted steel.

I always feel old
     when I hear that someone was
born in the 90s. No.

Just something to try.
     But really, this has very
great potential. ACK!

No! Write down what you
     want to say, and practice it.
Get a job. Really?

That is why the best
     health care systems in the world
are two tiered systems.

So many good quotes
     in the intro as well Yup,
we're in agreement.

Pay your dues and don't
     be so irresponsible.
Best of luck. I did.

Can't say I blame them.
     As a fan I just pretend
these songs don't exist.

The tradition is
     still called "Knocking The Cat (out)
Off The Barrel", though.

If I had to be
     really honest about it,
I'd say Pinkie Pie.

The rest is to stop
     acting like a friend, and start
acting like a girl.

If this is breakfast,
     what the hell do you guys eat
for lunch and dinner??

She dies in the first
     ten minutes of "Contagion"
and I was giddy.

*ordnance [deleted]
     MY NEW WALLPAPER!! That mouth
doesn't turn you off?

It is a simple
     move, and you are a simple
man to fall for it.

You know how to lose
     weight, but now you have to learn
how to maintain it.

Pretty good." He says.
     "You friends with the Birthday girl?"
I reply. "Oh, yeah.

I don't know enough
     about primates to dispute
that, so I won't try.

He didn't tweak certain
     ones it was a radical
shift in its approach.

Pockets of wealth right
     next door to projects or low
income neighborhoods.

Better kill yourself
     then, because there is a *lot*
worse on this planet.

Yes, the opening
     sets up everything that makes
this movie so great!

We're talking about
     whether the STATE has the right
to end someone's life.

[deleted] Also,
     I saw a spin out happen
that almost killed me.

Only in Spokane,
     WA do we do this.... I could
never stand you up!

What kind of scum does
     something like this and then goes
home to sleep at night?

The characters were
     for the most part, bland, boring,
and really stupid.

At the most it feels
     like a summer vacation
with pesky zombies.

I'd send you free shit
     if you'd paint my lower like
you did on your AR.

I read a study
     that I unfortunately
can't find about this.

Also, you may want
     to get into marinades
for stuff like chicken.

Save the Boobs! I had
     dreams about smoking before
I even started!

I doubt anyone
     here is from Ireland but oh
well might as well try.

What they are doing
     is entirely against
military code.

Good luck. The gold watch
     monologue from Pulp Fiction.
"Hello, little man.

"The scroll bar doesn't
     work when the list gets too long?
Not losing money.

Does thou love me? *No*
     But thou must! Does thou love me?
*Yes* I'm so happy!

But who the hell was
     that Gary guy, that he is
listed beside them?

I think it's a wise
     move on his part, I wish more
people would do it.

I will share the one
     situation that sticks out
in my mind the most.

Makes you wonder if
     this "tough on Wall Street" crap is
all a sham. awesome!

As you've probably heard
     before, it was the biggest
mistake of my life.

I apologize
     if this hurts your feelings but
don't go back to him.

Your relationship
     will begin to fade and he'll
be hurting the most.

Less than half of all
     working age adults even
have a full time job.

Also, you have more
     than me, does this mean you try
harder to get it?

It works for you great,
     well it doesn't work for us
more than half the time.

[deleted] Because
     people are afraid to be
alone with their thoughts?

I think we're good but
     don't think we can go very
far with Alex Smith.

'Get what you pay for'
     springs to mind but I know that's
not always the case!

If you speak of wins
     In the recent past of mine
Did not receive it...

You'd probably want fans
     that can move a lot of air,
while remaining quite.

[deleted] A flat
     tax by definition, flat,
is not regressive.

Very handy on
     my bike as its got a strap
that goes round my waist.

Your mom. lol...
     "I will keep your views in mind".
that's a clever no.

Find a girl that is
     slightly below your standards
and go out with her.

Probably will get down
     voted to hell for this but
come on really... Yes.

I now only wear
     things that I have just taken
out of the dresser.

They're helpful, but good
     grinders take a lot of time
and effort to build.

I'll check and see if
     he's taking applications.
:P [deleted] Whoa.

If it doesn't smell
     or has any stains there's no
reason to clean it.

Hell, they do that if
     someone spits on the road here
in College Station.

Believing in Him
     shouldn't be something that you
come to by reason.

I guess we should all
     just never say anything
ever again, then.

If a country tried
     invading America
you would be pissed off?

she twisted his arm
     so hard he was screaming "YOU'RE
GONNA BREAK MY ARM".

Can't see it at all
     Lacking the body parts does
make a difference though.

Sarah vandella
     she just blows my mind Message
sent, as requested.

My savings accounts
     at the bank will never hold
any more than $5k.

In our current system,
     lawsuits against the police
accomplish *nothing*.

What's the number one
     thing he wants to have happen
to his character?

I might start running
     my rear on solid, see if
there's any difference.

Thanks for coming out
     kid, tell your mom I said hi.
It's not just "timing."

CNN has been
     spiking stories on protests
for a long time now.

Also, I just learned
     what abysmal means. Oh snap!
:D That's not the point.

They might not stand on
     the seat, but many women
will at least "hover".

It's not what I want
     to do at all in my life
but needs come first right.

not just anyone
     can have any kind of dog.
this is our problem.

Save yourself my son.
     I agree. Attorneys should
be aides, not members.

I must say, good sir.
     Oh, the vocabulary!
I am at a loss.

They have that freedom
     luckily and I do not
wish to restrict that.

I kinda liked it...
     You can't embarrass someone
that awesome. Sorry.

EXAMPLE: if you're
     trying to save money, you might
buy off brand items.

Do you have any
     actual data or are you
just ranting again?

Why??? Why???? I approve
     :D I'm starting to doubt it'll
launch sometime today.

[deleted] holy
     crap i cannot stop laughing.
this is amazing.

typical steelers
     dan I wonder if this would
work with my boyfriend.

Dealing with the chefs
     was always really stressful.
They are such divas!

I finished that game
     with a flawless so I don't
feel bad about it.

[deleted] Hate these
     stupid headlines, specially when
NPR does it.

In any case, like
     you said, utilities cuts
would be nice also.

I've met one woman
     in my game though, who looked like
wife material.

He was a pretty
     awesome teacher. Spin to win!
[deleted] Stop. Yes.

If I see you near
     my house with a pineapple
I'm kicking your ass.

I feel if I were
     to have another I will
follow said advice.

And so that gives her
     ample opportunity
to bring forth a claim.

Know what I did when
     I got old and strong enough
to fight back? I did.

They don't give people
     many choices about how
to implement things.

Gremlins I don't see
     that being a problem if
pictures are taken.

If my fiancee
     every told me this, it would
pretty much end me.

But it's hard finding
     that awesome girl you can call
your best friend, you know?

Guessing from what he's
     shown us of his income, that's
probably $15-20k. Fuck that.

Thanks again! Fruit juice
     to fend off the blood sugar
focusing issues.

What's the logical
     justification for that,
in your opinion?

I'm sure had someone
     simply rejected it there
would be no issue.

You can't fight a court
     subpoena with super strength
or psychic powers.

You must be so far
     behind the news it figures
you "that vibe from him".

I will be happy
     when they are *serious* cuts
which make generals weep.

I will be happy
     when they are *serious* cuts
which make generals weep.

I don't think I am,
     I understand that a drug
dealer was let go.

It's a cherry pick
     that makes engineering look
deceptively small.

You should totally
     black out names in the future.
That's easily read.

How would you suggest
     that network operators
recover those costs?

If they were the "Same.
     Fucking. Account." I could still
use it, but I can't.

So no damage, No
     Heal, Only CC and Slows
and utility?

And then I was like,
     "well, why didn't you say so?" Now,
I'm like, "Just joking."

Maybe he doesn't
     like to see gold and effort
wasted on the dead?

"Don't go! Be afraid
     to express your opinions!
Don't make waves!" You, know.

We should make women
     feel ashamed of what happens
to them every month.

Don't full screen that beast.
     For disciplining his child?
Yeah, that's reasonable.

The older lady
     was hideous, and pretty
annoying at times.

Hang in there. I think
     many of us wish there was
something after this.

I've wanted to go
     to jail for a just murder.
This seems adequate.

I bet that asshole
     wasn't common sense. Not me.
My case was dismissed.

Edit: I realize
     how silly playing it safe
with a new IP sounds.

And what kind it is?
     I came here to say this, but
you beat me to it.

I have forty books
     so far, all acquired from
Project Gutenberg.

They used to make them
     in the back of the Chinese
restaurant I worked at.

So I'll still reply
     to you without you getting
the satisfaction.

That's really something
     I never would have thought of!
Mathematician.

So you'd rather stoop
     to their level than being
the bigger person?

When it is ready
     best developer mantra
for good companies.

Please, please, please, please, please
     move or turn off the mic near
the male cheerleader.

I'm not asking how
     much, but do you, personally,
think it's adequate?

And then it broke through
     the door after, he just squeals
like a little girl.

Is combat merely
     hit and run again or is
there more involved skill.

Also, a splinter
     may be uncomfortable
for a few minutes.

With Teeth: Every Day
     is Exactly The Same, Home,
Right Where it Belongs.

The joint card thing is
     ruining your credit score,
rather than just hers.

If he is being
     this difficult, you can do
one of two things. A.

The original
     argument could have been phrased
more accurately.

I ask for a lime.
     [deleted] Actually it makes
his point perfectly.

I think it happens
     enough to be considered
as some sort of trend.

My thoughts exactly...
     The same people that made you
Jennifer Lopez!

I guess this isn't
     necessarily a con,
but that's what I feel.

you don't have to set
     full arrays if you encode
the length in the type.

Nuclear has three...
     Don't you know this is the truth
Are you not George Bush?

So that being said,
     imo, it's more of a scare
than an actual cap.

Jugglers are valued
     members of society,
kill a mime instead.

I just couldn't deal
     with the whole situation
at the time and bailed.

It's like playing Where's
     Waldo! Misleading title.
Tear this mother down.

A girl who plays hard
     to get (reasonably) is
always a good choice.

Thanks! Nevada wants
     that to happen, as do some
private investors.

The F-35 and F-22 are
     frankly, nothing to get too
excited about.

No boomer ever
     protested Ronald Reagan
or Richard Nixon.

Dude, spoiler warning!
     Forged you make me proud and sad
in the same moment.

If so, where? How do
     you try to screen against cops?
The story section.

Possibly he can't
     see events that didn't happen
while he was alive.

A haiku challenge?
     These things are my specialty.
Please bring it on, sir.

First of all, you had
     no idea what he was
doing all game long.

When I retired it,
     and bought something else, and there
was a ton more noise.

The Huffington Post
     is a bad publication
and you should feel bad.