Reddit Haikus

I sure would hope so,
     job postings are popping up
at an increased rate.

got any requests
     you want me to fulfill while
im hard as a rock?

I've lost track of al
     the rebates and lump sums I'm
eligible for.

When she died, so did
     I. Jesus apparently
has bad handwriting.

[deleted] No sense.
     The payments on a 300K house
would be enormous.

When we view things like
     this, we analyze it through
our rose tinted shades.

There will likely be
     some snow left, but that will add
to the scenery.

We will likely be
     museum members again
when the summer hits.

Here's mine for this week,
     I was really pleased with it.
I like poppy things.

Cheers. Here's what you do:
     Keep talking frankly about
sex with your husband.

It's "Cut the muster."
     As in a muster of troops
for the militia.

I know when you throw
     the ball and I know when you
fake throwing the ball.

When I try it, I'll
     let you know how it comes out
(if I remember.)

If he is not fat
     he is not eating more than
is necessary.

I wouldn't say I'm
     "hot", but I'm not fat. I'd say
I get "cute" the most.

You've obviously
     never tasted a Big Bite
with so much chili.

I recently learned
     I have it. When I found out
I almost threw up.

get down on friday
     or be assimilated.
I do the same shit.

My brain's just been on
     ling overdrive for the past
few hours, lol.

That being said, I'm
     pretty sure you and I are
seeing different things.

Visit Norway if
     you want to see proper good
Scandinavians.

I don't exactly
     have "girlfriends" to contemplate
my situation.

My best advice is
     to STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
to other people.

Yep, there the whole day.
     The other day my book ran
out of batteries.

Maybe this dog came
     from a home where the older
male abused the child?

When onions have been
     in for like a minute or
so throw in the eggs.

We love to trot these
     numbers out like they're the whole
picture, but they aren't.

I have one of those
     little Bose Wave radios
in my living room.

They will often times
     provide "if you liked this you
may like this" matching.

I wonder if these
     types of sponsored links actually
make any money?

Vocabulary
     & spelling nazi. So there!
Cheap beer. Cheap whiskey.

There is the moral
     law, which is the only law
that is still binding.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

What Religions tries
     to pass _off_ as Truth is more
distortions, then truth.

The ball of light is
     the fun part that keeps us light
painters up too late.

Each to their own though.
     I can see how Hollywood
would be great for some!

We also wanted
     to make sure the name fit well
with our own last name.

It's another thing
     to look at other people
and think "They're PEOPLE.

Or if someone is
     waking me up, I ask "am
I bagging the watch?".

And just think of all
     the fun fabrics you can make
now that you know how!

This, and only this,
     explains modern day halfwit
racists in Sweden.

Literally every
     time I walked into my room,
I checked the shower.

Patient saw the "shell"
     and wanted to know why their
med wasn't working.

But when people get
     together, you can really
get lousy people.

One of my favorite
     albums ever deserves it's
own video game.

It starts a little
     slow but reads really fast once
you get into it.

Even though nothing
     recent here has even half
as many comments.

oh, zelda fans think
     far deeper than this for sure.
Pointless in real life?

I go out to eat
     all the time when my wife is
traveling for business.

Get into disc golf.
     Take a girl fishing. Sounds lame,
but it could be fun.

I heard that trolling
     uses dynamite, so you
are wrong and stupid.

But that's just my guess.
     However, life extension
*should* be possible.

All the meanings come
     together to basically
the logic of God.

I know it doesn't
     help, but college professors
really piss me off.

But that's just a wild
     guess, since I don't have any
data ofc.

very interesting.
     It does that for some items,
and not for others.

I guess it is just
     perspective, but I do see
your side of it. Thanks.

It was delicious.
     I still hate Dr. Phil more than
that obvious troll.

Make it a sports bar
     called Pitchers and Hoes Fellow
American here.

**Food**: Hit up pizza
     places as they close, they might
give you stuff for free.

I just HATE it when
     people assume I smoke when
I'm taking a break.

And the music is
     so much more diverse and just
generally better.

I get along side,
     look over, and there's some bitch
reading a bible.

There are other things
     that complicate matters like
the stiff job market.

At least we Christians
     get to drink wine and eat bread
every now and then.

HOW DO I DO THAT?
     THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR TAKING
THE TIME TO EXPLAIN.

Not bad time either,
     gotta be happy with that...
What bike do you ride?

It's a tall order
     but you should visit every
school you get in to.

Racing as a clyde
     feels like cheating doesn't it?
That was awesome, thanks.

The question is can
     the government fuck your life
up for smoking weed.

I get an email
     every time one of my apps
throws an exception.

Those idiots got
     what they deserved for acting
so uncivilized.

If that's not how it's
     supposed to look, then you'll need
to tell us what's wrong.

It's not like they are
     inhuman, but they prey on
the weak through their gangs.

Christians are dumbing
     down America, and they're
breeding like rabbits.

How am I supposed
     to masturbate to you if
I don't picture boobs?

Even my new friends
     who don't know I smoke know from
the get go, I smoke.

Shaun of the Dead is
     great as a kind of spoof on
zombie movies though.

I usually do
     this one or two days before
the first of the month.

Is there any truth
     to what the guy said about
"once you mention it..."?

Very unstable
     if I don't say so myself,
no offense to you.

What if the world you
     see were both a factory
and prison for souls?

Perhaps the jerk who
     stole your phone doesn't know or
remember as well.

When the going gets
     tough, someone hold my rodent!
chump, I don't know why.

Call him out on that.
     If he's got a problem, you
should know about it.

so what does that do?
     Is that a roll of quarters
in your pocket, sir?

And the blood, we all
     know, isn't real blood, even
if we can see it.

The ants scream so loud
     that their cries are audible
to the human ear.

Getting your fucking
     horse after finding out you
can jump out the fence.

There were always more
     people asking to join than
there were spots open!

if i get some time
     i will check it out though Dude,
don't apologize!

I think people though
     the writing was a little
shallow or something.

That is why there is
     personal discretion built
into the system.

I agree that math
     is not an art, in the sense
that most people think.

In theory maybe...
     in reality, tips are
how waiters get paid.

You two have the most
     interesting games, and I love
watching your matchups.

Ravioli should
     kind of bloat up (don't forget
to turn it over).

The same could be said
     about downtown Toronto
if memory serves.

Haven't seen a 3D
     film that gave me anything
more than a headache.

Do you have social
     bonds (domesticated pets)
with your pigs and cows?

So all games, movies
     and All of the internet
are made in the US?

I think this comic
     has the best use of faces
I've seen in a while.

Sure enough, I looked
     down and there was some wetness
seeping through his jeans.

I don't want to do
     that with someone I enjoy
and share my bed with.

The strip can get scratched
     and made unreadable, how
is the mystery.

I was offended
     after I finished because
this is what I thought.

Our hands are, who live
     in the democratic world,
as bloodied as theirs.

There was some other
     website out there that had these
cool figures on stuff.

"The Dive" or just "Dive".
     Dive bars are hole in the wall
places that serve shit.

I never said what
     I did. I asked if I seem
like that kinda man.

It is extremely
     unlikely you are ready
to handle this girl.

Let me guess, when you
     smell something rank you sometimes
get *nauseous*, don't you?

You should do this by
     gently brushing the ash up
against the ash tray.

I'm sure some women
     really are bitches but some
men are just whiners.

lol jokes are
     so much funnier when you
have to explain them!

Unless they made you
     sign the EULA when you bought
the box. Which they didn't.

press b to not die.
     press a to I PRESSED A YOU
MOTHERFUCKER! A!

which is true of them
     all, but it's supposed to make
you feel like you had.

One other note is
     buy the fastest flying you
can asap.

Jones sets up his shots
     on guys when they try to plant
and throw power shots.

I once told my gay
     friend that I was gay for him
(he's male, I'm female).

do not feed the troll.
     especially not with precious
bodily fluids!

The second cumming
     is going going to be
soon, promise! Oh shit!

Also, do not yell
     at the teller, that will get
you escorted out.

There have been studies
     linking meat eating to heart
issues and cancer.

True friends don't do that.
     But it is a leap of faith
either direction.

Do we interfere?
     Now we're less secure in our
moral certitude.

i love usa
     but capitalism sucks.
That's me exactly!

I don't believe, but
     I can see how it would make
grief more bearable.

Some jumpers do their
     first jump off a cliff this is
not recommended.

I'm afraid I am
     not familiar with hemp wicks.
What are they used for?

I dunno), but shit
     like Lotus Seed Pods make me
feel violently ill.

He wanted to talk
     about me and kept saying
how awesome I was.

Lowest is actually
     Trader Joe's, but their meat is
really expensive.

But if you're having
     to sneak around, then you are
doing something wrong.

For instance, this was
     noticeable when I watched
Hero with Jet Li.

I am finally
     starting to see my trigger
pull a lot smoother.

Could be worse. Could be
     jamming Three Days Grace or some
Breaking Benjamin.

The business uses
     the tip money to cover
the employee pay.

I can imagine
     how bad a child with adult
memories would be.

I hope cleaning up
     the shit from your tub isn't
as hard as it sounds.

When ever we sense
     cold, we will launch an immune
response against it.

It would be awesome
     to see the world join forces
to stop North Korea.

So wait, what happens
     in quicksand, if you don't drown?
How does quicksand kill?

Hey Chloe. (sorry
     if spell wrong) So uhh, you mean
he has a fetus??

Dumped for sexism?
     Where is the no sympathy
advice animal?

If they don't get it,
     they would think I'm super weird
or I'm into them.

I am John Connor.
     The war with the machines has
already started.

This is royalty
     free so you can even sell
your game with this art.

As he said above,
     it's notes they get sent home when
the kid is 'bad.' Nope.

Indeed. It's a shell
     with gunpowder in it &
a bullet on top.

Somewhere, a Nike
     marketing executive
just creamed in his pants.

I wasn't thinking.
     I was in a rush to call
the carpet cleaners.

Just by the way you
     say everything, I think things
will work out for you.

This is most hottest
     video ever love her
she can stay with me.

If you like tinkering
     with your phone their is nothing
better then Android.

Problem? Wipe your feet
     before getting into bed,
you're tracking shit in.

You said that the card
     is for investing in some
things for your business.

Sorry, but you need
     to stop blaming your life on
the economy.

she started crying..
     i then proceeded to feel
like a bad person.

to a gas station
     clerk because, frankly, I don't
know him and don't care.

I'm sorry man but
     I have no idea what
you're talking about.

](/spoiler) ["Well daddy's
     still stuck down there, gotta go
spring his ass again.

The fighters guild is
     probably the most boring guild
in Oblivion.

Since we didn't even
     do that, the next crash is right
around the corner.

It's making a huge
     difference in my low back pain.
Good luck! Australia?

I absolutely
     *hate* Epping Junction. Same deal
with going by car.

Styrofoam. The fact
     that it is a proper noun
terrifies me more.

This is why you should
     lurk and never comment on
anything ever.

I've played up until
     the part where you get the boat.
Does it get better?

Classy move. I find
     that taking time to look through
the manual helps.

I always felt like
     that movie never got all
the love it deserved.

I believe we do
     the most changing in our teens
to early twenties.

The best part will be
     when this leads to a vaccine
against autism.

But it's pretty fun
     to start reading the back page
then turn to the first.

Aside from that, you
     cannot invade a country
simply from the air.

but what I'm saying
     is, look past that and into
some of the teachings.

And I eat way more
     Indian food than they eat
American food.

The problem isn't
     3D movies, the problem is
lack of 3D movies.

Go call him silly
     and write him off as telling
the public fiction.

She was dressed like jill
     valentine in one of them.
Great name! Gets my vote!

Never was quite sure
     what the companies were but
I guessed for breeding.

I like the story,
     but I really, REALLY hate
how they are written.

I'd bet it causes
     psychological problems
for his opponents.

I was totally
     ashamed and got in trouble
cause i skipped practice.

I tense up really
     back and think that the same thing
is gonna happen.

you look like david
     bowie in prestige (Tesla)
Very emotive.

We went to dinner,
     watched a movie at my house
and got some ice cream.

You should be able
     to speak both ways in at least
some form of Morse code.

Yeah it was Physics,
     and it was when I figured
out Calculus. Yeah.

Not a single fuck
     would be given that day from
the oil companies.

Many cultures eat
     animals as a food source;
babies not so much.

Management only
     care that I do it on time
and under budget.

He is just pissed there
     have been way too many cats
on the internet.

This is Karma, it's
     like magic money that you
can spend in your dreams.

I do not miss thee!
     They are actually all arctic
snipers in disguise.

I still remember
     all the stuff that guy taught me
about dinosaurs.

i love you Sums up
     the PC experience
rather perfectly.

I don't play very
     often but I love to play
when I get the time.

Give it a few weeks
     and that alone will help you
keep up and do more.

It'd simply be
     easier for everyone
to do the same thing.