Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 1698 of 1746

Haiku #10826

When she cries, I would
     ask her in a neutral tone
why she is crying.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10827

Let her know that when
     she wants to talk, really talk
you are here for her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10828

So they'd basically
     get kicked out, and the strippers
would have to change clothes?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10829

workgroups still cannot
     have conflicting names without
IP segmentation.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10830

So, I met this black,
     Jewish woman... Took you long
enough to show up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10831

Preferably before
     you get to the point you need
to have surgery.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10832

Don't do anything
     that would get the poor girl killed
when she returns home.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10833

I'm VERY open
     to the possibility
that it could be fake.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10834

Hanging them to dry
     (while wet) in the sun also
helps with some smells. No.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10835

I liked white better,'
     I said. White!' he sneered. 'It serves
as a beginning.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10836

open doors, and eat
     breakfast like the rest of us?
no one said they didn't.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10837

I can do that too.
     Loved to freak out other kids
with it in grade school.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10838

Think of it this way
     (terrible analogy
because I am drunk).

Score: 0          

Haiku #10839

EDIT: I saw you
     talk about preservatives.
I didn't address this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10840

I got a red cord
     and a blue cord for the hot
and cold, too. Fancy!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10841

Indeed! This clan will
     be geared toward specifically
helping each other.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10842

My job is to help
     people get back to gaming,
not irritate them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10843

[deleted] To me,
     the lack of apps is a plus,
fewer distractions.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10844

The same logic would
     apply to mandatory
cavity searches.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10845

That is hot, but now
     you are too skinny too pull
off 'vegas elvis'.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10846

For that matter, what
     were Khan and his *entire
crew* doing outside?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10847

OUTDATED COMMENT
     IS OUTDATED! ...Sorry, just
felt like saying that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10848

Can you make it wake
     you up each day with porn? WOW!
That was amazing!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10849

This is no joke. Uh,
     I don't think we should see each
other anymore.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10851

Anything else is
     your brain carrying out some
basic programming.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10852

Dummy. [deleted]
     [deleted] still got eva
gardner in this one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10853

Sorry I can't help.
     I'm very disappointed.
I'd heard so much hype.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10854

I tell him he's wrong
     and that it's part of the game,
but, whatever. Both.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10855

*The second one did
     manage to hook the keyboard
up (the first gave up).

Score: 0          

Haiku #10856

You, and those like you,
     seriously ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10857

I'll be cool with him
     as long as he doesn't try
to convert me. **HEY!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10858

THIS IS THE HIGH NOW
     NO way! The one in the left
must be you Mom... Right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10859

(Not that you should care,
     but your nose is fine, why would
you want to change it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10860

I have a cat named
     Tribble. There are very few
people who get it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10862

I hear it's a whole
     other world from the flying
bus that Delta is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10863

A Law Enforcement
     Officer? and it is You
better make it work.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10864

so, what OP, did you
     bang these two chicks and take their
pictures afterwards?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10865

I think they just want
     to show off and get some nice
feedback from people.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10866

If you have any
     more copies I would love one.
Mr. Walken Damn.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10867

[deleted] HEY LOOK.
     She has a boyfriend. What is
kimchi exactly?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10868

So, it sounds like you
     are the uneducated
one of the bunch here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10870

If I don't commit,
     I'm literally not behind
at all in econ.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10871

That's not my intent.
     If you're not enjoying WoW,
that really sucks, dude.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10872

We'll sell it to you
     at the price since people will
buy it at that price.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10873

Get up off your ass
     and do something.. You're a man..
You're a fucking man..

Score: 0          

Haiku #10874

In Python threads are
     rarely a good idea
because of the GIL.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10875

I'm dating a guy
     who doesn't actively call
himself a nice guy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10876

Sounds like you are on
     the right track for recovery.
Best of luck to you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10877

Actually, companies
     make very little money
off vaccinations.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10878

Sad.. especially since
     the Triumph twins are being
built in Taiwan now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10879

Wedge base halogen.
     And i never hesitate
to put a.... NIGGER!...

Score: 0          

Haiku #10880

Are you me? that was
     the first thing I did after
subscribing to it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10881

Is there any way
     to eject this network from
the solar system?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10882

I think the term is
     repeat offender rate or
something similar.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10883

Every now and then
     he looks up and puts his head
on my chest and purrs.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10884

And yeah, my Mom knocks
     several glasses of wine back
every night as well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10885

Sorry but we had
     to melt down our transformers
for ammunition.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10886

Ya its kinda weird.
     Weather looks shitty. Have fun!
Yeah? Well, fuck you too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10887

The Saturn V is
     the most powerful MACHINE
ever created.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10888

Yes I do. I use
     Markdown for some other stuff,
but I miss tables.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10889

No, Southwest MAKES me
     buy a second seat How else
would I say that then?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10890

Dude actually there might
     be a chance within the next
month or two! No joke!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10891

you're mean Bless your soul.
     Let her invite whomever
she wants. It's her day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10892

I read that as lust,
     lust, lust, lust, lust, lust, and lust.
I miss cracker night.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10893

It's just as easy
     to say for cyclist "well fuck
buses" or "fuck cars".

Score: 0          

Haiku #10894

I managed to go
     on and type in /spawn real quick
before I had crashed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10895

Thanks! That Album is
     amazing though [deleted]
[deleted] Testing!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10896

That tripe is about
     as interesting as Access
Hollywood. ..Who cares?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10897

The problem faced here
     is more of a how people
have fun kind of thing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10898

HA! Downloaded it..
     played it, yep as expected...
buggy alpha junk.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10899

hold up, school me on
     this, please, but I thought there's no
chemicals involved.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10969

You're being a jerk
     because you don't realize you
are being a jerk.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10970

I highly doubt you'll
     be able to find many
full studies online.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10971

Thus, vaccination
     should be legislated, while
abortion should not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10972

You never even
     said you were talking to him
at a train station.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10973

It sucked. Sure, why not?
     As long as you are being
playful about it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10974

He was very pissed
     but other than that he's not
retarded either.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10975

This is terrible.
     I'm never going to get
my essays done now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10976

Pretty amazing.
     I'd love to see a game from
his perspective. Oh!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10977

Say to the police,
     "I am wearing an item
which may cause concern.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10978

It is Flu season,
     and their snot on a glove can
contaminate your.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10979

However, you can't
     herb those herbs until you get
to the new content.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10980

This is why I didn't
     want to start before I had
everything ready.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10981

(Honestly, I don't
     think I could pull off flirting
intentionally).

Score: 0          

Haiku #10982

I do want to, though,
     and I'm thinking of starting
with Infinite Jest.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10983

She just smiled and shrugged,
     i was perplexed but wasn't
about to argue.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10984

I'm sick of coughing.
     Like clockwork. Yeah, I was all
super small and stuff!

Score: 0          

Haiku #10985

Damn you to hell. WHY,
     PARA. IS THAT A NEW GEAR
GUIDE YOU'RE CREATING?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10986

**If I were in her
     situation, I would want
to take plan B** This.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10987

what are you going
     to tell her the next time you
go back to the booze?

Score: 0          

Haiku #10988

Anyone now how?
     This article made me want
to take a shit. Umm.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10989

[deleted] I'm sad
     that I never had the chance
to see him perform.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10990

I read that. It seem
     to have angered a local
fan for some reason.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10991

Infinite Jest is
     much more readable than what
one might gather, though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10992

Where are you going?
     Go visit a real country;
your mind will be blown.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10993

Taxing carbon or
     trading carbon credits would
have the same effect.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10994

Once you get it right
     you'll definitely know it.
The smell will be right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10995

Nah, we're all out there
     doing the same job and it's
nothing glamorous.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10996

I already have!
     I would have stuck my thumb through,
give the kid his due.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10997

That burger may be
     cheaper initially, but
not in the long run.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10998

Perhaps her feelings
     have progressed as well and now
she wants more as well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #10999

im going to just
     create a new word and work
on other projects.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11000

Nothing you say will
     change my mind on this. You suck.
[deleted] Up *this*.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11001

I'm educated.
     I'm skilled. I'm experienced.
Yet, the jobs aren't there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11002

I worked with Laura
     Torelli, she didn't know what
to do with my dog.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11003

EDITED AGAIN
     to fix the link proper like.
Thanks Suto. bastard..

Score: 0          

Haiku #11004

ordinarily
     I would agree with you, if
I read the same thing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11005

Glad to hear life's good.
     I didn't know what normal was
after I got back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11007

Let him watch The View,
     that'll help the retard [He's
always watching you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11008

What about lifestyle?
     How many hours a week are
you in the office?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11009

All they really read
     is think that they find on line
and maybe comics.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11010

This is one of them.
     There is a change, though, which you
basically described.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11011

He came from a pet
     store so Im assuming he's
from a puppy mill.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11012

I'm not sure whether
     I agree, though. Just signed up
to be a donor!

Score: 0          

Haiku #11013

We (or perhaps just
     I) promise not to bite or
cause too much trouble.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11014

What about gay rights?
     What about all the other
crap that's in the world?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11015

You're obviously
     very into your gimmick.
More power to you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11016

That's all you can do,
     and that's the best thing to do
IMO. Good on you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11017

I never have played
     the adventure mode but I've
played the fortress mode.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11018

and your card things ace.
     dude, you're all kinds of awesome.
Wow, can you try me?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11019

Don't heat the bathroom,
     or other side rooms you won't
spend too much time in.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11020

[deleted] Also,
     do you have Python installed
on your computer?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11021

I just need to know
     if I should compile the script
at the end or not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11022

You're going to love
     Shogun. At least I hope you
really love Shogun.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11023

I can't imagine
     how long it took to make this..
Must be a real fan.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11024

Dr. Oliver Sacks
     has just finished a book on
vision and the brain.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11025

I pay little or
     no attention to spiders
outside of my house.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11026

No. A ticket is
     confirmation that you paid
and have a a seat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11027

Excellent, although
     you could have done a better
job duct taping it..

Score: 0          

Haiku #11028

Just because you can
     memorize facts doesn't mean
you're ready for life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11029

Another note is:
     Don't bother sticking around
if you don't have to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11030

While I enjoyed it,
     I can see an argument
to the contrary.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11031

If someone suggests
     anything awesome, let me
know, and I'll come with.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11032

Many people HATE
     the fact there are no portals
while others LOVE it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11033

even simple stuff
     where you'd go, why didn't you guys
just talk about it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11034

(serious question
     from an idiot) You can't
protect your sister.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11035

Actually it sounds like
     "cranberry sauce," because that's
what John is singing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11036

Best. Invite. Ever.
     Why? How long ago did you
become a monkey?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11037

Why do you like it?
     ooh my lord, you're gorgeous Huh,
so that's what that is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11038

Someone's gotta go
     down, before the rest of those
clowns get the message.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11180

Thankful nobody
     would make the assumption I'm
from the US. Indeed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11181

I love to see things
     (and drive). I love to hear things
(music, especially).

Score: 0          

Haiku #11337

Or how women are
     more susceptible to some
mental health problems.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11182

I love to taste things
     (good food, weird food, even bad
food from time to time).

Score: 0          

Haiku #11183

**The ability
     to not be seen as a threat
to normal people.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11184

he chews thoroughly.
     I loved the museums there.
They were amazing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11185

EDIT- Oh, I didn't
     realize the form was auto.
Ya, that's confusing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11186

[deleted] I know
     the proof is there, and I just
saw the video.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11187

I really don't know,
     it just intuitively
seems impossible.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11188

Elevation is
     usually measured by height
above sea level.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11189

If your religion
     is right, then every other
religion is wrong.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11190

So they *can* demand
     higher productivity.
That's what I figured.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11192

[deleted] just do
     what you're told and everything
will be fine. fuck off.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11193

media formats,
     encoding, etc)
That is so awesome.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11194

The kind of person
     with solid gold shoes and suits
made out of money.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11195

What will you do when
     she doesn't get over those?
Dump her and move on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11196

When you put it *that*
     way, it starts sounding a lot
like AOL. Slow.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11197

It's a piece of shit.
     [deleted] You'd be surprised.
I know i have been.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11198

Definitely be
     on the look out for the Dual
Lands from Revised, though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11199

And then they're actually
     managing to match their worst
case scenario.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11200

Also not saying
     she didn't want to go outside,
but going with him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11201

It doesn't sound like
     that, and she didn't say "I am
going back inside".

Score: 0          

Haiku #11202

I mean, I can see
     where saying "no homo" could
hurt someone's feelings.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11203

I don't really see
     the benefit of a 'lens
protection' filter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11204

Yeah, but you cant long
     sleeve button up a tat on
your hand. Feed your child.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11205

Homeopathy,
     by its own definition,
is ineffective.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11206

If I was that guy
     I'd pack my bags for your town
*immediately*!

Score: 0          

Haiku #11207

Take care of yourself.
     Aha, I didn't know about
hashes for markdown.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11208

It's done for the same
     purpose as blowing into
my hand and sniffing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11209

Maybe both. They may
     not be able to convict
but they will arrest.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11210

Sorry for the rage.
     We adopted through a pet
store but not really.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11211

This is exactly
     why you don't get anywhere.
See what you're doing?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11212

The government, who
     supposedly works for you
(you vote for them right?)

Score: 0          

Haiku #11213

Oh, and remember:
     No trends. Out of fashion is
always fashionable.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11214

And I go, "Oh no?"
     [deleted] Correlation
is not causation.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11215

The next picture is
     like the first but with a cat
or dog laying down.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11216

As I see it, there
     are two general reasons why
people get tattoos.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11217

Most people complain
     about dressing up because
their clothes don't fit right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11218

Ah, did not know this,
     thank you i like your younger
brother :D What, where?!

Score: 0          

Haiku #11219

I will try it out.
     most, if not all people hate
calling a hotline.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11220

Challenge accepted.
     This is original YOU
LOOK GREAT! Good for you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11221

I know it really
     doesn't make sense, but lying
is illogical.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11222

the number of times
     he fell in that goddamn hole
was hilarious.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11223

but under the guise
     that he will help this evil
accomplish something.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11224

Didn't anyone teach
     you how to twirl spaghetti
with a fork and spoon?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11225

In the moment right
     before it occurs this could
easily be done.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11226

There is no reason
     to believe cognition should
be any different.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11227

The more of you first
     timers sharing ideas
at once, the better.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11228

That would be the real
     "message of justice" to send
to politicians.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11229

They may *say* they do,
     but they'll enjoy the game less
if it goes away.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11230

How many people
     would keep playing the game, but
avoid the button?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11232

Right, so your boyfriends
     aren't pedophiles, but men you
don't like are. Handy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11233

Not a third brother
     to the boys, third to Rusty
and Jonas Jr.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11234

This seems like the rare
     issue where conservatives
and liberals agree.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11235

You have a profile
     explicitly for "trolling
purposes only"?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11236

Forever alone.
     See if you can work it out
with her, if you can.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11237

How does that affect
     the caloric content or
Glycemic index?

Score: 0          

Haiku #11238

[deleted] yeah man
     will keep some people awake
better than coffee.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11239

We have plans to hang
     out when said person gets out,
whenever that is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11240

It's not a truly
     believable lie if you
yourself don't buy it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #11241

I would if I had
     one Too late for Tall ships, too
early for space ships?

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:30 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.