Reddit Haikus

I thought the other
     side of the street was Scotland
(where my mom is from).

Good video though.
     The Anus. An immoral
way to seek pleasure.

That's how gymnasts fuck.
     Must be some Australian thing.
Two things wrong with that.

I don't go around
     shooting people or threatening
people with my gun.

I don't know why you
     have such a problem with me
carrying a gun.

Wow this is really
     good, any idea who
painted it? So green.

Film? Sounds like a good
     setup for one of those "Shot
on Tape" horror films.

No wait, I find him
     witty and informative.
Looks the same from here.

we do need to do
     something about cleaning up
our environment.

my thoughts exactly.
     You need to leave. Dump her ass,
and move the fuck on.

Are you saying not
     to change them until they fail?
What sense would that make?

Get the fuck away
     from your computer, and go
to some PARTIES. If????

Who didn't love Lassie?
     In class once a teacher asked
to borrow my pen.

**I N C E P
     T I O N** Not sure what
you're really asking.

They love the foreigners
     that can already get laid
in their home country.

Hanging a mirror
     is always good cause it makes
the room look bigger.

"Dad, who do YOU want
     to be calling the shots when
*you* are like Grandma?".

Or the testament
     to popularized branding...
Lockup your daughters.

The professor said,
     "I'm sorry, you are too late,
I can't take your test."

I see it, I am
     high and I want onion rings
after seeing this!

It is an event,
     but nothing about hashing
is that 'organized'!

After the two weeks
     the teachers would take it real
easy on the class.

{edit} I didn't read
     the text until I went back
to check what you meant.

I miss the city
     so much!! Oh yeah, that makes sense.
Bongo. Whoa. Wait. Whoa.

Even if I liked
     the taste, I don't think I could
get past the texture.

If there is something
     funny here, then no, I don't
get it. Please explain.

At first I thought you
     were suggesting the reference
was already made.

"Unnecessary"
     biopsies is lawyer talk
for "costs us money".

This was the weekend
     we realized we were adults.
He's catatonic.

PERSECUTION? Man,
     you need a DICTIONARY.
That's just laughable.

I don't really think
     that it may have been carried
across the right way.

I'm just trying to get
     others to get them with out
outside influence.

At first I was mad,
     but now I really do feel
horrible for him.

A good joint is way
     better than any blunt or
bong or whatever.

When did that happen?
     What's your point? What did I say
that doesn't make sense?

I didn't really spit
     in the milk carton, I just
added to the note.

I used to, but I've
     gotten out of the habit
in the last few years.

It's how you handle
     the fermentation that could
affect your result.

Story of my life.
     I really hope you are right
(and you probably are).

That's pretty much what
     I was planning. I just feel
like I should do more.

This is a very
     good description of the squat.
I adored this show.

[deleted] I can
     not believe that she actually
thought that was touching.

Try having a read
     and see if there's anything
interesting to you.

I've actually never
     rolled one myself, just smoked ones
other people rolled.

You sir, are whipped. [](/troll)
     [deleted] that's actually one
reason I use it.

His response was do
     not, but its one of those things
that has crossed my mind.

After doing that,
     the road making machinery
simply wouldn't work.

once you start making
     some steam, "leak" another song
and start booking shows.

That one episode
     where the comic relief guys
get stuck in that room.

drugs are chemicals
     but chemicals are not drugs.
[deleted] Great shot.

Yes. Remove the wheel
     and brake rotor so that you
can see the hub flange.

Yeah Toledo is
     definitely quite the hike.
Oh, that explains it.

Indeed, the 'good' old
     days of the big needle is
very rarely used.

A lot of them are
     young gamers and I bet some
could relate to you.

So we both played some
     new features they were going
to add to the game.

Don't worry about
     the lack of variety,
try to work with it.

Sorry, thought I saw
     someone else noting they were
from the Netherlands.

It might even be
     integrated with its own
specific browser.

Just kidding, I'm not
     racist kinda pitiful
I would just pay it.

the girl, the silly
     robot and that guy, all dead.
I got pissed right there.

More likely they will
     be amazed that we ever
called this 2.5D thing 3D.

Not so I can ask
     the question, but so I don't
make the same mistake.

any wizard worth
     his salt will figure this one
out pretty quickly.

Their sterility
     is in many instances
largely symbolic.

Just tell her to call
     you if she wants to go out
and leave it at that.

But now, people don't
     need any dedication
to get what they want.

Statistics show blacks
     are more likely to commit
crimes than other race.

You must have flown off
     that thing, I assume you were
wearing a helmet?

Food rapist. Wait what?
     I thought Nebraska canceled
the game, not Boise.

I thought Nebraska
     canceled the game, not Boise.
But I could be wrong.

I've read that those can
     be problems, but I'm afraid
I just don't get why.

if you really like
     this girl, don't let something like
that get in the way.

This is another
     one of those things that is by
definition true!

Well if you wanted
     to get free anal, all you
had to do was ask!

Get her to a doc,
     this isn't normal and is
probably serious.

This is more about
     not paying transaction fees
in my opinion.

You say she realized
     the old church had brainwashed her.
Remind her of this!

I don't give any
     kind of crap about famous
people beyond that.

Now, there hasn't been
     any real and fair research
on marijuana.

Ok, so I guess
     I should post my stock photo
and then an actual.

Tell him that last night
     sucked and it's time for you both
to make up for it.

Can you tell I read
     his annual shareholder
letter every year?

That one is really
     subtle and light so you might
find it appealing.

Ok, Ok you
     are so much better than us
solids, we get it.

I've gotten so fast
     that there's almost no difference
in speed at this point.

Okay, I might wait
     til I see mic to do it.
I might need his help.

*leans back in chair, lights
     pipe and adjusts monocle*
I'd hit it. Too soon.

Yasser Arafat
     Payne is another diamond
in that article.

There aren't that many
     points of contact in an M4
that you have to lube.

Finally, it will
     do stupid shit like this just
to fuck with people.

I've tried to get her
     to go see a therapist,
but she never does.

Cool! Which one of those
     foxy ladies did you hook
up with? lol!

People get on their
     phone, and update people on
their day to day lives.

MAKE IT STOP! OW... OW....
     OW.... OW... OW... Oh, fucking great...
now I have a draft.

I loved that game, but
     seriously, let it rest
in peace. Same with Quake.

Half of your life is
     spent in the same darkness dude.
What does it entail?

I always study
     your approach and usually
learn anew from it.

That should be a neat
     tool to have if you ever
get in a bar fight.

I don't know if you're
     the creator but if you
are, impressive sir.

I like to think mine
     is pretty easy to make
and fairly compact.

Excepting the more
     tedious runs for wood when
you're out, it's all win.

My copy has been
     "out for delivery" since
early this morning.

He sold documents
     to people who were going
to defend themselves.

Five years old, sobbing
     on the bathroom floor because
she thinks she's ugly.

I like Jacque Fresco's
     idea of a Resource
Based Economy.

You're not scared and then
     you went rambling on about
bombs and shit. You're scared.

And yeah, if you worked
     today, you have an extra
day of vacation.

I'm impressed. I've been
     told I need new needles though,
any suggestions?

Only a fool would
     say he is not interested.
And I am no fool.

SUPPORT THE OATMEAL
     SUPPORT RICK ASTLEY I DIE
CLEAN WHORES, I DIE CLEAN.

But at the moment,
     you really are a perfect
foil for a crackpot.

You don't have to know
     about a patent to be
violating it.

The bullshit ones are
     pretty obvious and are
easy to dismiss.

Maybe the judge could
     see it in his heart to give
the guy probation.

Because you don't need
     to use paper but you wind
up using your hand?

Now, I *did* avoid
     the law for more than a year,
and they *did* catch me.

we will never know
     because she was corrected
rather then questioned.

Unless a state can
     free itself from the federal
teat, it has no hand.

I agree, any
     good christian should get out there
and take some mocking.

We did get congress
     to look at the issue though
and that's worth something.

I don't want to see
     my country get dragged into
another fake war.

Valentine's day gift.
     Or leave video game scripts
to video games.

I always correct
     people when I hear them say
"drugs and alcohol."

Eh, no thanks, I'll just
     click back and leave this comment
as my small protest.

We've been planning on
     finishing North Korea since
we left. Days son, **days**.

How so? I would leave
     your face as it is, i love
strong facial features.

Yes, I have people
     to confide in, luckily.
Thanks for the advice.

It will be global
     and be fought by people who
just want to survive.

Congratulations,
     your neck is probably thicker
than your head somehow.

Sorry we couldn't
     see eye to eye, and thank you
for your time and thoughts.

Any place I can
     get the Back Hand of God stout
is good in my books.

My family are just
     above one of the income
increments for loans.

Are there messages
     that you genuinely missed
seeing the first time?

As for people on
     welfare, we can give them loans
instead of handouts.

The private sector
     hires sanitation works but
at a cheaper cost.

maybe he shouldn't
     have picked that job if he didn't
want to get shot at.

And I'm hearing good
     things about his new boxing
movie, The Fighter.

That said that's not what
     this link's about so thank you
for contributing!

I heard he was *jerked*
     around by the police when
this photo surfaced.

I'm glad we agree.
     Can I have my glory now?
Congratulations!

This is one Request
     I wouldn't mind fulfilling,
if you get my drift.

Noone riding a bike
     is saying you should stay home
and get of the road.

I imagine if
     you're trying to keep warm that's not
the best idea.

I feel really bad
     that those bruises are the first
thing I noticed. Thanks.

Look, it's a clever
     solution if you can work
within the constraints.

Profit Nuts to that.
     I'd rather be the human
version of that guy.

It is currently
     in the "trying to find someone
to publish it" phase.

And there was no way
     I was going to even
bother answering.

[deleted] So you're
     saying, Extremism is
the true religion?

Yes, although the fat
     rendered a bit so it's not
as distinct when cooked.

It was a pagan
     holiday before it was
Christian holiday.

Good for you, lady.
     For the record I think you
looked great before, too.

I'm going to need
     to hear a retraction from
the baby killer.

I didn't say *that*, but
     if you look up there^^, you will
see what I *did* say.

The problem is, more
     or less, how they are handling
the situation.

Frankly, it doesn't
     sound like you're missing much by
rarely seeing them.

And there are people
     in my classes who barely
show up to uni.

Yeah. Suck it *Star Wars*.
     A two foot tall double fan.
I can work with this.

The controversy
     among the fans is often
racially based though.

that fucking little
     bitch should be thanking Kanye
on her hands and knees.

One doing wrong does
     not excuse another from
doing what is right.

It's your TV right?
     You should be able to watch
whatever you want.

Or wants reasonable
     subject matter in text books.
Or don't like football.

The longer they wait
     to tell you the more they are
into you, I think.

While I'm unmoved by
     your work, your dedication
is commendable.

Wall Street is doing
     just fine while the rest of us
are sinking in debt.

Pic shows a dying
     (I assume) man on the ground
with guts hanging out.

Well that's ironic...
     Sure. I'll support someone trying
to be creative.

Let's hug it out, bitch.
     Yeah, I will no longer be
parking on that road.

I hadn't realized,
     but I didn't mean to rag on
Matt Blaze personally.

Obviously our
     situations are different,
but please don't give up.

I could, however,
     support a mandatory
waiting period.

In the end, I said
     fuck it and became a line
jumper like the rest.

I dare say this site
     even contains at least three
REAL Republicans.

I haven't yet seen
     this documentary, but
I have to watch it!

They look a lot like
     ones I had a few weeks back,
very strong. Have fun!

I don't eat broccoli,
     but I have no objection
to you eating it.

Is there any point
     in remaining on a 32bit
PC any more?

Just very little
     patience for stupid people.
Sorry bout that. Well.

[deleted] in his
     'perfect world', wow and second
life had a baby.

These women I've been
     seeing definitely are
doing something wrong.

I actually don't know
     which is worse, both are a bane
to humanity.

Use a barbell or
     dumbbells (overhead pressing,
seated press). Start light.

Oh it was fun :D
     i cannot wait till there are
survival servers.

[deleted] That guy
     would only look cooler if
he had a cigar.

got to be gutted
     The climbing ability
might be the clincher.

It should also say
     "This message brought to you by
the First Amendment.

The bullshit ones are
     pretty obvious and are
easy to dismiss.

legalizing weed,
     prostitution, butt sex I've
played this game for years.

You're not her chauffeur,
     you're her fucking boyfriend dude.
colorful vomit?

colorful vomit?
     [deleted] fix your grammar
and spelling issues.

Sorry, I panicked
     for a second, my rig is
about the same size.

I was expecting
     something totally different.
Don't you mean carrots?

It was cool and all.
     But the COD team would have just
shot right through the wood.

Before the hand is
     dealt, the entire table
must post their ante.

So, which ones?" And then
     I'm always like "Whatever
you guys recommend.

No interrupting,
     no denying, no saying
"What?! I'm not cheating!"

A person with no
     principles will always act
as a hypocrite.

...then where will I keep
     my gloves? Damn, that is awesome.
[deleted] Not sure.

What a tragedy."
     What a dick! Don't go blaming
acid on this guy.

When she cries, I would
     ask her in a neutral tone
why she is crying.