Reddit Haikus

They debt company
     is offering a settlement
for half the amount.

How about smaller
     games that were on the PC
as well as consoles?

The less info you
     publish publicly about
yourself, the better.

You have a girlfriend?
     [deleted] I just tried it.
Nothing interesting.

I think I had one
     big shit with little wiping,
and then I was good.

Put in a good word
     for her to have extended
maternity leave.

We've just been turning
     over the same resources
for billions of years.

I was disgusted
     that Eastwood was higher up
than Kurosawa.

I sit there and stay
     quiet, because she has sharp
objects in my mouth.

I'd be less disturbed
     if it was actually Sarah
Jessica Parker.

I'll make sure to look
     for more Black Raven next time
I make it out though.

I don't go there now..
     I'm not sure how that fits in.
I agree with you.

Screw that. Because from
     the situation described,
there is no bike lane.

In particular,
     the panties have me singing
your assets praises.

In both instances,
     you don't really have to do
anything special.

All we're saying is
     that people should expand their
horizons a bit.

Trust me, Realtors, head
     hunters and used car salesmen
are in the same boat.

Probably the biggest
     thing for me has been their great
customer service.

The "support troops" will
     most certainly still end up
being in combat.

Which is the problem.
     Games haven't really gotten
better overall.

it's all little men
     in suits arbitrarily
saying this or that.

Hah, this made me laugh,
     take pictures and post them please.
Think of it this way.

My character's arms
     were more or less doing what
my arms were doing.

Good answers. I hope
     you don't think I'm challenging
what you are saying...

If you get a bad
     match you can talk to your RA
and maybe change rooms.

Easily complete
     bullshit or one of the worst
casinos ever.

[deleted] Cooking
     bacon without a shirt on
is dangerous work.

They aren't displaying
     for me and I'm wondering
if they're supposed to.

You might as well just
     go without brushing if you
don't brush after meals.

Well, koalas are
     also murderous bastards,
so it's hard to tell.

No, really. Awesome.
     *Smug Sarcasm* whore I didn't
figure you would be.

just tell me when you've
     gotten something up your butt,
besides crap. Fuck off.

The only country
     that is a danger to us
is America.

It's ridiculous
     how early you have to make
all these decisions.

regardless of how
     cheap they are, cast iron pans
are VERY heavy.

God. It's insane when
     someone hits so close to home
on the internet.

//cops suck I skimmed through
     for a possible butt shot...
Not disappointed.

That's not completion.
     Completion is when you don't
type in MS Windows.

I have weak moments
     but I've become not just quit
but a nonsmoker.

How do you people
     plan on getting into OP's
house to begin with?

He flies in space ships
     and has moon rocks for charcoal
in his BBQ.

Though the AI sending
     in their creature in to its
death was annoying.

I just has to be
     true right then, at that moment.
[deleted] Great song.

Was Alexander
     the Great as bad a person
as Adolf Hitler?

Ha! It's too bad Steve
     and Alexis are probably
too young to get that.

My first period
     came during the biggest ice
age of the decade.

The Keeley mod is
     definitely worth sending
your unit out for.

Foreigners think this is
     the entire deal, but it's
just the surface truth.

Thanks. He doesn't know
     where Germany is. No thanks.
Oh wait, there they go.

It is the subtle
     things that separate good players
from everyone else.

It was harder when
     I was high but i didn't give
my self the option.

I'm not planning on
     suing anyone, so that's
not useful to me.

Some people think it's
     too much hassle to pursue;
I'm not one of them.

When people go wrong,
     you can't hit them with a wrench
and swear a blue streak.

As much as I like
     depth, I want to start drinking
right now and have fun.

you need to get out
     more Do you have any tips
for buyers? Oil check.

I apologize
     for calling you an asshole,
that was uncalled for.

A few times, I felt
     I really made someone's day.
That's a great feeling.

So I requested
     "Weekend in New England" by
Barry Manilow."

I still have never
     had better food, and it is
moderately priced.

Sure it wasn't Jayne
     Mansfield? She was way hotter
and more talented!

Yea, I do prefer
     playing finished and polished
games if possible.

from what i hear though,
     people in minnesota
totally care. weird.

Have you tried any
     support forums for the game
or the publisher?

I've got medical
     issues and I'd be screwed if
I were in the US.

came here to post this!
     is that a high five coming
out of a high five?

You got it all wrong.
     These girls exist, and they're out
there for you to find.

That is the problem
     (or benefit?) of living
in a free country.

There were those two threads
     about how women want sex
just as much as men.

Christianity
     has indeed had centuries
to develop that.

I'll contact them when
     I have some money saved up
to work something out.

I figure strip clubs
     work similarly, but I've
yet to go to one.

The worst thing it could
     do is make you a better
person to yourself.

As far as I know
     we've been talking about speech.
Speech is an action.

This song kicks my face!
     [deleted] It's a classic
by definition.

Idealistic
     goals and true purpose are two
very different things.

The thought of getting
     my hand ground up freaks me out.
I love Ithaca!

i'm tired and stressed
     and i'd invariably
rather have ice cream.

Teenage girls wearing
     the bangs of their hair lacquered
straight up in the air.

I saw it just got
     updated today and there's
game modes or something?

I do, how the fuck
     can I lick her eyeballs when
we're getting it on?

You just don't become
     that accomplished by having
"utter shit" for skills.

If people keep on
     telling you something, then you
need to find out why.

Just watched the replay.
     He had a gold expansion
I didn't know about.

Being a whore while
     wearing a crucifix seems
kinda blasphemous.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
     Have you swapped cables between
the two devices?

Have you swapped cables
     between the two devices?
Tried different inputs?

Smaller pharmacies
     can't make up the cost at all,
and have to shut down.

I meant the past, yes.
     Sorry for being unclear.
Thanks for the answer.

The first time I saw
     that before picture, I didn't
believe it was him!

He said that any
     and all Homosexuals
should be stoned to death!

[deleted] turns out
     that the display is glass found
that out the hard way.

[deleted] OR you
     could have downloaded the rom
and not spend a dime.

I suppose I meant
     Gnome and Nautilus. You know
what I mean though, thanks.

Emergency, sent
     through as fast as possible,
and everything else.

Usually the bank
     will NOT rule in your favor.
Hey, yoga sounds cool.

EVERYTHING IS ON
     THE EXAM while sitting on
my pet dinosaur.

I'm ignoring you
     while I read my comic boo-
uh-- graphic novel.

Shoot me a message
     back if any of this is
interesting to ya?

Do you really like
     that, or is it more about
saving battery?

Although I can see
     how the constant clicking would
get irritating.

"The intelligence
     world" is usually fighting
"the criminal world".

Make this whole statement
     simpler, and more human, don't
act like a lawyer.

The rock is Glenn Beck
     and even he does not know
what he is saying.

New Yorkers be on
     the lookout for sky babies
in the near future.

I had two direct
     hit reflects on the same guy.
I was so lucky.

Doubly notable
     for being a good _second
season_ episode.

From the very get
     go letting Matt in the league
was a huge mistake.

my teenage sister
     didn't understand how the phone
book worked yesterday.

[deleted] Ever
     since I was a little girl,
I wanted glasses.

In the beginning
     you had a ton of lings but
were not using them.

And it's like you're now
     you sort of have to stand there
and listen to them.

Saying something like
     "Agnostic can mean several
slightly different things.

The most accurate
     handwriting analysis
on this page. It's true.

I get the same way
     if I don't have my protein
after a workout.

That, or focus on
     which ever one you like more
or are better at.

Visit the National
     Weight Control Registry web
site and look around.

:o This is fucking
     ILL. Also, how did you know
I just smoked a bowl?

We don't work because
     we have to, we work because
we think we have to.

original is
     ok good not ok good
but ok grate good.

On a good day, I'll
     ride home from work and jump straight
into running shoes.

Also, she should take
     off the rest of her clothes. Yes.
I think it's the smile.

its above ok
     good no ok good but great
good ok now. Get.

But it wouldn't hurt
     to get it anyways if
you wanna make sure.

I say the same thing
     when I have sex now and I'm
in my 30's. Nice try!

Nothing. To be fair,
     no one ever said the guy
was a *brain surgeon.

No running around
     naked or selling her soul
for publicity.

Cauliflower? Squash?
     Mature sex organs. Rice, wheat
or oats? Nuts and seeds?

It's not like doing
     so is going to fix it.
That doesn't follow.

You can walk there from
     downtown too so you don't need
to be staying there...

*Cue Indiana
     Jones theme music* [deleted]
You wanted to though.

From the living room,
     you hear Jake and Nate are now
talking about games.

also, shank someone
     on the first day to let them
know you're serious.

How else would it work.
     Wow..., as if Dr. Laura needs
any more bad press.

Even when we know
     you're using wiles, we don't care.
dude, you're not THAT old.

My grandfather is
     always pushing me to look
for government work.

My kids do enhance
     my life, and I think every
parent would say so.

I started to feel
     like I was floating probably
from lack of breathing.

Library access
     can be booked (even online)
for 1h reserved slots.

I've always wanted
     to see this skit, but can find
any videos.

If you did not like
     the experience, don't go
back to that dentist.

You and your costume
     together are excellent.
Good going and thanks!

Right now it's the US
     and other nations who will
still ban the imports.

I can't remember
     any other Battlefield
game having that shit.

Creates enough white
     noise to mask any small sounds
you might make. Agreed.

No? Then don't fucking
     do that. this happened to me.
we were five years deep.

I'd love to be picked,
     but will truly be happy
for whoever wins.

Do you tire her
     out so that she sleeps later
into the morning?

Does she bark when you
     leave her alone for any
period of time?

Running with someone
     who is a little faster
than you is awesome.

You're completely right.
     I have no idea why
I put that in there.

They look awful on
     *everyone*, no matter how
great your body is.

Maybe we could just
     patent the patent system
and fuck the system.

I don't understand
     the limited health care thing?
We have great health care.

Hopefully the good
     folks at our ratings board will
ban this travesty.

[deleted] If you
     don't care to read the data,
we'll stop arguing.

What's with the steam hate?
     EDIT: I think I misread
the comment. My bad.

Islam is very
     harsh towards woman, but so is
Christianity.

Just as a aside;
     what's the difference between "street"
style and "urban" style?

You have potential,
     but it's overshadowed by
your other mistakes.

It's possible you're
     grinding your teeth or biting
yourself in your sleep.

Nice work, good to see
     another dude out of his
twenties working hard.

You'll feel a lot more
     productive and won't feel like
you wasted your day.

I also think (no
     confirmation) that belter
is also coming.

I've had too many
     skeletons jump shot me when
trying to work at night.

The same principle
     applies to abolishing
the filibuster.

The jury agreed
     with Adams and acquitted
six of the soldiers.

What's the tattoo say?
     It's the death panels you've got
to worry about.

Agreed. People don't
     seem to understand that you're
being sarcastic.

Now he has red lumps
     all over his tongue and is
constantly drooling.

Just to play Devil's
     Advocate, Rush Limbaugh is
fucking retarded.

[deleted] Every
     comic I make from now on
will say it's my first.

Can you excuse me
     for a second, I need to...
*rinse my mouth,* sorry.

[deleted] smoke two
     joint before you smoke two joints,
then you smoke two more?

He broke down one day
     and told me what had happened
to make him this way.

I'd love to know more
     than one *sign* language, I think
that would be awesome.

He smokes and has no
     interest in either quitting
or exercising.

[deleted] Where you
     been Sean, haven't seen you on
in a while. They. Duh.

Recently we were
     at a part at a friends house
(where there is a pool).

(and so do a few
     others), and everyone laughs.
Don't be the keener.

Their body of work
     is called the Plain Language or
Plain English movement.

She went mad and stabbed
     out her own eyes when she found
out he was her son.

[deleted] Also
     he was doing it right up
until he met me.

Use an electric
     blade so that it doesn't cut
that close to your skin.

Wash your hands before
     you apply moisturizer
or play with your hair.

See, the baby will
     be taken care of, but what
about this poor dog?

You might have more luck
     finding a husband if you
learn to be less dumb.

Everything just went
     back to normal and it was
easy to ignore.

What i miss was back
     then no matter what went wrong
we fixed it our self.

Meanwhile the wild geese,
     high in the clean blue air, are
heading home again.

Healthy food, enough
     sleep, hit the gym, see your friends,
take time alone. Hugs.

When you advertise
     your site, just put the site name
and the extension.

I have dragged in through
     mud, snow, and water, and scraped
is one at high speed.

It was however
     shining white and sparkling by
the end of the game.

The summer before
     my 4th year I started
smoking everyday.

Pretty sure I linked
     directly to the image,
not to an ED page.

Move over Orange
     County Choppers. Did you get
that one on the left?

You are fantastic.
     Thank you so much. I feel like
such an idiot.

How is he doing?
     Do you feel any extra
pressure to succeed?

I get really psyched
     up, hoping my next find will
be waiting for me.

At first glance, i got
     OMG HA IRON FIRE.
then mah smarts kicked in.