Reddit Haikus

WELL THANK GOD THE DOG
     SURVIVED! I hope you're a troll.
Are you a Christian?

Then, *my* system was
     the Genesis and I loved
the shit out of it.

So why don't you start
     posting stuff to it to get
people interested?

The first problem was
     stripping away all the stuff
I didn't need or want.

For the last three days
     I've been questioning what day,
date and month it is.

i've never murdered
     anyone, and i love most
people in my life.

Threat caused on one mob
     has no effect at all on
his buddies nearby.

Dude, she sucked your dick
     with no condom. You ate her.
You came in her mouth.

I am sorry, but
     this is obviously fake,
isn't it? Really?

i would be honored
     Yeah but i've heard that he loves
having his ass licked.

The Irish also
     add butter, cream or bacon
fat after cooking.

I bet you even
     call tortilla chips with cheese
dip Nachos as well.

But, I just walked up
     to him, while he was eating
lunch, and ate his lunch.

It's a paradox
     only people like you can
try to justify.

My running buddy
     actually encourages me
to leave her behind.

Three wishes granted.
     It's a hot day, man wishes
for a cold beer. Poof!

And is it just me,
     or do only chicks use it?
Like, seriously.

Most of the good spots
     on maps you'll find as you get
better at sniper.

What a stupid thing
     to say. And who are "People"?
All of the Germans?

You can "build your own"
     on some models, choosing RAM
and other options.

This was a pleasant
     surprise when they announced it.
[deleted] RUSSIA!!!!

Yes, fortunately
     however he never eats
and can be repaired.

What was the question?
     [deleted] shake the machine,
quit being a wuss.

NO! You get Baltic,
     Park Place, a utility
and a big fuck you.

They include, of course,
     the Gospels and Acts, which are
narrative in style.

I usually just
     thought they looked good on the shelf,
tried them on, bought them.

How many came from
     profitable companies?
I think most of them.

I wouldn't either
     if it would increase my life
expectancy more.

I was thinking more
     about things they tend to put
you in prison for.

Yeah from everything
     I've read about him he scares
the hell out of me.

It is something, though.
     And it still is tasty, if
not gas inducing.

Bubbles! An angel!
     I really doubt that the whole
3D thing will die out.

Or laid. I must beg
     to differ, that pizza looks
fucking delicious.

Good luck! Okay, looks
     like the numbers I quoted
aren't from that report.

A lot of people
     who discredit Freud still say
he was a genius.

Well, that depends on
     what part of the video
you're talking about.

Do you spend a great
     deal of your time watching Night
Court? to the sperm bank!

You know, he probably
     betrays you at the end, or
even before that.

I honestly did
     not expect the film to be
as good as it was.

I understand what
     I'm talking about, isn't
that all that matters?

Given your history,
     it's definitely your **right**
not to forgive him!

I would tend to them
     during the day, and notice
one really cute guy.

But what if you need
     the results in the future
for legal reasons!?

Making people feel
     responsible in general
is a waste of time.

Got a few minutes
     through "Fear and Loathing" before
I I realized it.

There is redemption
     for cheaters, and the other
issues can be solved.

[deleted] You can.
     Order Dominos online
with your credit card.

You put a little
     bit of hope back in my heart
for the human race.

[deleted] [](/poker)
     but you can get really good
fries without waiting....

After toughening
     the skin, the fingers just get
sore without bleeding.

Note; this is not backed
     up by anything other
than speculation.

Although I may get
     ridiculed for this, it is,
IMO, his best work.

Probably, but the hats
     in Diablo actually DO
things, so they're stupid.

Dunno.. never paid
     anyone to do a valve
adjustment for me..

but then again, his
     bank buddies will pick him up
by helicopter.

And they get away
     with it? Yes, that is ok.
Pleas give credit, though.

Yes, that is ok.
     Pleas give credit, though. There is
more where this came from.

I'm relatively
     certain the word wheel doesn't
appear in the boM.

You may want to look
     at Park Tools for a rundown
on common repairs.

It's sad that you are
     asking that question, says more
about you than "them".

So much common sense
     in one sentence has no place
on the internet!

Vitamin B12 is
     very very hard to find
in the plant kingdom.

Well, we've both agreed
     that Fox leans right, so I'm not
sure what your point is.

I can confirm this.
     [deleted] Thanks for the heads
up, I'm not surprised.

Did you mean the whole
     thing cost you $30k, or that's what
you have left in loans?

As in you buy more
     roaches and they don't just die
and never come back?

[deleted] If you've
     done your research, you know there
is no easy way.

My education
     taught me nothing of the world
out side our borders.

Excuse my language
     but who the fuck does Sarah
Palin think she is.

Or, a similar
     firs person observer guides
the snipers shooting.

Edit: Just realized
     that holding Z will let you
jump farther. Really?

Sorry. Yeah, buddy.
     Helps you save the spot if you
need to walk away.

Helps you save the spot
     if you need to walk away.
You're not very nice.

LOL. You know
     I'm a dude, right? I also
drink coffee :P [More.

I have never had
     any luck with jobs that you
have to apply for.

That's the entire
     point of the karma system,
self moderation.

Such a great game too!
     I agree perhaps you would
like one point done well?

your* Im usually
     not a grammer nazi but
that shit gets me mad.

Also Add into
     the mix all the impoverished
Inuit residents.

The very first time
     that "word" was used, it had was
used more than enough.

As it stands though, there's
     no point in taking the risk
for a company.

Nice! It's not always
     "funny" but the writing is
always really good.

Not much movement when
     running, although it gets gross
when it's hot outside.

Databases can
     get in trouble with local
performance like that.

And the Mosque debate
     isn't a debate at all,
it's a travesty.

This is a joke, right?
     ha, first laugh of the day. thanks!
delightful, young squire.

Hope you don't main scout,
     I don't think you want to cap
that point too quickly.

Or, if I'm getting
     something done by the dentist,
the "spit sucker" girl.

fucking driving back
     to school forcing me away
form the internet.

Ask anyone who
     lives in a city that has
two area codes.

HA He's too gangly
     to fit into a jumpsuit
and not look awkward.

I have been wearing
     these for about a year now
and they still look great.

It's all healthier,
     and leads you to impressing
the ladies (or dudes).

Were is the prime time
     address from the president?
This seems like HUGE news.

She's fine. Just a few
     fleas, and she was malnourished.
She's much better now.

with fewer channels
     and it goes up literally
every other month.

I, on the other
     hand, actually *knew* that you do
not write with doody.

My suggestion is
     that you dig a pit and mess
with it for a bit.

How hard is to put
     some soap there everyday while
taking a shower?

After all, that's why
     someone would call it "taco
ass" in the first place.

I don't remember
     the Jews flying planes into
buildings in New York.

GOD DAMMIT I was
     doing this before I read
the comments, I swear!

I'll stick to building
     my own out of moving crates
and old school buses!

It really makes me
     sad to read the statistics
on women voters.

I'm sure you'll be fine.
     I don't know, where did you buy
the scarf? Lesson learned.

I'm doing well too
     in the computer science
program at my school.

There is no reason
     for them not to play five sets.
Totally agree!

And which I think has
     made this funding much more fair
than it was before.

Buy new Mac. STEVE JOBS
     *CARES*! I repeat. A monkey
fucking a football.

Why do you feel stuck?
     Job? Relationship? How long
have you felt this way?

Women better not
     stop shaving or I'm going
to kill that writer.

What the fuck?! Of course,
     since I'm a foreigner, I don't
make a fuss at all.

Looks like there won't come
     anything more. Move forward.
Use rocket launcher.

No one cares that you
     are a girl, it brings nothing
to the discussion.

Whereas with student
     loans, you're generally screwed if
you default on them.

so is cnn's
     new album What is so wrong
with overselling?

They work for just you.
     They level up based on how
much you use each one.

I went to a shrink
     once, it was *exactly* like
Will from the movie!

I've wondered about
     that myself as I never
could get used to it...

Learned from my mistake.
     Lol, perchance... s e
first time I seen it.

Compuserve also
     charged hourly or some other
increment of time.

A dick is a dick,
     as long as it's functional
and clean, you'll get some.

I smoked my first bowl
     because a cute boy asked me
if I wanted to.

I saw this headline
     before on the front page, but
haven't read it yet.

Smaller regional
     breweries didn't, or were plagued by
quality issues.

We were long distance
     for about a year, and then
she came to my school.

[deleted] Oh no,
     the counters for units are
killing them, AH OP!!

Plus buying what you
     need as opposed to what you
want is great also.

We were doing some
     sort of stretch test in gym class,
8th grade I think.

Just do your own clean
     install with that key and save
yourself the money.

Every time I leave
     the house people are speaking
to me in Spanish.

I hardly new her!
     You really need to rephrase
you question, I think.

How long were you two
     seeing each other before
you went different ways?

I'm pretty sure I've
     seen cops stationed, looking out
for this behavior.

Most Americans
     couldn't give a rats ass. What?
I don't understand.

After all, hubby
     has to ride back with her son
for work the next day.

But hopefully it'll
     be good and you enjoy it,
and that's what matters!

I ate eggs and fruit
     and stuff like that for breakfast,
when I ate breakfast.

While the idea
     might be brilliant, it's only
half of the battle.

He would probably still
     be in there if we hadn't
taken off the door.

If moving offshore
     isn't UnAmerican
I don't know what is.

poses are awesome.
     legs, thighs, stomach pretty much
everything is great.

Who the fuck is that?
     Because it sure as fuck ain't
Jessica Alba!

I hadn't even
     thought to laugh at the lady
until I read it.

Ok, then, let's say
     Maxim instead of Playboy.
That was amazing.

You felt you needed
     to reply so that you could
insult somebody?

Stop it. I didn't read
     your comment to understand
what you were saying.

If they were, I don't
     think they would be asking you
to face your rapist.

"Please don't hit me" is
     one of the worst things to say
to this Dom i know.

I want you to type
     the following and I'll do
the work to find it.

A responsible
     commenter knows Barney Frank
is a congressman.

The damage ranges
     are random, you may have just
gotten a tough break.

The white on black thing
     is a client visual
identity thing.

Anyone walking
     across the street near this cop
would have been attacked.

As for government
     bureaucrats not getting rich,
that's simply not true.

In love! Ah, dammit.
     Tell her I like her and ask
if she likes me back.

That is incorrect.
     If you root your phone you do
not lose everything.

Then "fire trick" goes wrong,
     as often do the best laid
plans of mice and men.

The less info you
     publish publicly about
yourself, the better.

I don't know why or
     where it came from, but you just
made my day. How so?

Until recently
     the technology simply
hasn't existed.

How so? I guess you
     don't look down at your cock when
you're cleaning it, then.

The uncut version
     was surprisingly better
than the cut version.

A LOT of people
     are going to watch every
Vikings game this year.

Good for him. It's too
     bad he didn't manage to take
out a few cops though.

It's too bad he didn't
     manage to take out a few
cops though. Thanks so much!

Female atheists
     were rare when I got married,
right out of college.

Some stores are starting
     to pull the 4pcs Dollar
nuggets which is sad.

Stick it to those who
     believe in something different
than you! Constantly.

Trust me, if you can
     find happiness, pursue it.
Screw expectations.

i thought i only
     had *one* biggest secret, but
apparently not.

Pears weird me out, dude.
     Where do you start with a pear?
The top, the bottom?

Command and Conquer
     has not misled me, British
snipers are the best.

Awkward. There's a good
     reason we have troops stationed
all over the globe.

Surely it must be
     obvious that you always
take their value lines?

This is way freaking
     easy to do, and will look
awesome when finished.

I laughed so fucking
     hard at this Frank was a fool
to get in that car.

Other than that, screen
     resolution is a good
way to thin the crop.

One potential hot
     chick room is filled with angry
socialist women.

Would you be jealous
     if they became better friends
than the two of you?

As if I were trying
     to warm them up or something.
Ok, this may help.

Does anyone else
     not get any results from
Sites? Dominos worked!!!!!

Still in alpha, but
     he adds substantial content
almost every week.

I have never known
     A son conceived who was not
A son of a fuck.

Assumptions themselves
     can also be dissected
in a rational way.

I shaved the bottom
     half of my two front teeth off
on the rough concrete.

I think we should call
     this the "Marty McFly" fight
or flight protocol.

You can see at least
     one road worker reacting
just before impact.

Many people will
     be new for the next month or
so, take advantage.

Veggies. A shot glass.
     The leg of a Barbie doll
when I was little.

We'll see what he does
     if he gets reelected
for a second term.

Maybe it's because
     I'm drunk. Hey, nobody can
see us talk like this.

That would have to be
     the single most amazing
book from my childhood.

Most of them are just
     hot air, but one or two threw
up some red flags. Well...

Holy fucking shit.
     I have never laughed harder.
This girl needs a show.

If the luck isn't
     in the shot, its that you didn't
get shit on! herpes.

"Dad, I know you feel
     loyal to him for the time
you two spent..." Fuck that.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

In *Women's Monthly*?
     No offense but you people
make me want to puke.

comedy can be
     offensive, get over it.
Ding ding ding! Correct.

They debt company
     is offering a settlement
for half the amount.