Reddit Haikus

Would have been too good!
     Going to have to still give
this a try tonight!

It looks like a wine
     glass but can never be one.
Is that what you thought?

INCEPTION. Sounds like
     he has grown up since then if
he can admit it.

People who do dumb
     shit like this really have what
is coming to them.

Either way, expend
     more calories than you take
in, and you'll lose weight.

I end up with bald
     spots between where mutton chops
would end and my chin.

If I were a guy
     and a girl did this to me,
I would be in love.

[deleted] Oh, you
     are right. I never knew that.
I will make that fix.

Edit: Actually, now
     that I think about it all
three are fantastic.

It feels weird if you've
     never done it before, but
trust me, it's worth it.

but we were always
     honest with them and told them
that we didn't watch it.

Or is there a point
     at which your credulity
stretches thin, and snaps?

If you own a home
     in this situation you
are totally screwed.

It was blocked for one
     whole day. This is promising.
You mad? ya, you mad.

He eventually
     figured it out, and turned off
all network access.

It isn't the same
     as keeping a promise I've
made to say, my wife.

However I did
     once have a really intense
dump with my pants on.

My thoughts exactly!
     There's been a few requests, I'll
see what we can do.

Please update again
     about her and let us know
how it all ends up!

I stumble onto
     the bus, convinced everyone
knows, and go sit down.

By the next morning
     I'm feeling pretty shitty,
speedy and painless.

"Are we going in?"
     "Yeah Man!" this is awesome. So...
you know who's the chick?

This is no different
     than any state liquor store
laws here in the US.

Also look into
     churches and alternative
home repair people.

yes i do, i know
     i could use the toilet right
next to it.. but why?

And you hit the nail
     on the head, it's all about
talking about it.

[deleted] My point
     was that billions have been spent
on climate research.

OP specifically
     asked "what was done wrong", which was
listed in my post.

I see no problem
     in generalizing when all
liberals act the same.

I love Voyager
     but haven't seen them all or
really in order.

You have to wonder
     if there will be a breaking
point to all of this.

I don't give two fucks
     about that Tomb Raider game
that came out today.

Thanks for confirming
     my assessment of **you** too!
Slash get steam sales on?

Can't speak for hairy
     weed, but I think I have more
sense than that today.

You should never use
     your mouse to click a button
in the lower right.

SHE NEEDS TO EAT MORE.
     I hope he isn't joking.
I really do. ha!

Then it's his own damned
     fault for not specifying
the jurisdiction.

This is actually what
     I came to the thread for when
I saw the title.

Some substitutions
     would be bison, deer, tuna,
turkey, cottage cheese.

You didn't establish
     at the outset that you had
purchased the cookies.

For instance... if you
     had construction going on
next to a playground.

In the USA
     you'd have it completely fenced
off with warning signs.

The same Russian may
     rob you blind or offer you
the shirt off their back.

Lately I have been
     smoking a hit in the day
or twice and hang out.

And how can driving
     young people insane *not* be
considered sinful?

He loved that. I am
     stuck as to what to get him
for his 25th too.

Tell your friend to choose
     art over engineering
or biology.

In general, I find
     women's sports much more boring
to watch then men's sports.

That said, yeah, only
     slightly dumber high school kids
keep watching the show.

I can't imagine
     the stress his body went through
to make it happen.

Also, a red dot
     appears on the map to show
you were it will land.

In my day, people
     just flashed as they walked the stage
at graduation.

Until there was not
     enough people playing on
the opposite faction.

We all do gross shit.
     In public and in private.
[deleted] No prob.

That alone tells me
     that Egyptians were seeking
to destroy Israel.

but that doesn't mean
     I have to like that place now
that were in this place.

Make sure to suggest
     trying really heavy foods like
foie gras and deserts.

Chute popped and covered
     the camera before hitting
denser atmosphere?

I could never live
     there because I would be drunk
all the time. Same here!

It's not that I am
     buying shit, it's that I don't
have any money.

it's possible but
     I'm running out of places
to put extra fans.

It's death penalty.
     Do you need me to explain
the difference to you?

It just seems like it's
     pushing fair competition
down with exclusives.

I wish I could be
     as excited about them
as I used to be.

If you don't play too
     you may find yourself getting
jealous of Starcraft.

Maybe I haven't
     been here long enough, but why
do people do this?

It obviously
     *had* to be because they fell
from the world's border.

Ours look a lot like
     the american only
with much less water.

I wouldn't bother
     unless it was extremely
important to you.

RADIATION IS
     IN NUCLEAR BOMBS AND NOW
IT'S IN MY CELL PHONE?

[deleted] That would
     be the best movie *ever*.
Not much you can do.

Suddenly the guy
     pulls a pair of wire cutters
out of his pocket.

Took me long enough
     to find a page of my notes
that has enough words.

The bean bag chairs set
     the whole feel and atmosphere
for this interview.

[deleted] I'd like
     to know where to go after
snagging the basics.

I think he just needs
     to take some time off and walk
into a good script.

But what gets me is
     the *blessings* bestowed upon
the alleged sinner.

you'd think they'd frolic
     naked, but no, they still gut
and rape each other.

I personally think
     you could just raise your standards
for the guys you see.

not a gigantic
     fan but even i like Blue
Valentine a lot.

I'm going to play
     vanilla, because that's how
the game was designed!

can you just grill them
     up and throw them on a bun?
What do they taste like?

Nobody liked Scott
     Pilgrim? My theatre was
laughing like crazy.

Deep in winter's heart,
     My fire shall keep you warm dear,
For you stoke the fire.

It's just government
     tax and bar owner greed why
drink is expensive.

Before looks like you
     can take her out to do stuff
without breaking her.

Is that the only
     one part of my argument
that you can pick out?

My girlfriend drive us
     to the pharmacy to pick
up the prescriptions.

just playing the two
     concurrently however
simply doesn't work.

[deleted] What do
     you call a mole that prefers
avocado dip?

Doggy style would be
     the only way it would work,
so that's kinda hot.

A buddy of mine
     made an image of this flag
but I can't find it.

Sometimes on lunch breaks.
     Each of my relationships
is a bit different.

its not like its our
     fault, but maybe we can do
something about it.

And when it has gone
     past I will turn the inner
eye to see its path.

And a special thrill
     knowing that you will for sure
soon be feeling grand.

To do what, you ask?
     Whatever the big, scary
government decides.

it looks like it has
     smoke in it Shouldn't you be
doing your homework?

At this point we can
     argue that no ink at all
is being added.

I know people who
     are poor and happier than
most people out there.

What you have trouble
     accumulating because
you're such a troll douche.

walk under the skirt
     and look up, that's where you want
to be little man.

It could have been price
     fixing, which I suppose would
have been a problem.

I've been trying very
     hard lately to love Ruby
and Ruby on Rails.

What would be their gain?
     Stupid? or just ignorant?
There's a huge difference.

All I know is its
     not overplayed like every
Frank Sinatra song.

motors gonna mote?
     Edit of Freudian "I'd".
I meant "if" of course.

It sounds like you don't
     *want* to give a fuck but you
*can't stop* giving one.

I think the last time
     I was in a suit drinking
scotch was my wedding.

I saw some judo
     pants on the rack at Kohls less
than a month ago.

Maybe you should say
     what phone you have and where you're
finding these kernels.

These publishers could
     focus on a specific
kind of audience.

[deleted] I thought
     your little sister just went
vegan or something.

So your assuming
     all Muslims are terrorists?
Wow your ignorant.

The list is massive.
     *head explodes* Alan Rickman
not Gary Oldman.

I'm not familiar
     with that phrase. What does it mean?
answered some of these.

The Decade Triple
     Crown. An insane achievement,
no doubt about it.

I need to upgrade
     my hand, maybe install bumps
or waves to the palms.

but paying only
     the minimum every month
hurts your credit? Yes.

First off, good for you
     for getting him out to look
for another job.

That should get you through
     nearly every formula
you may encounter.

My first point: It takes
     complicated tools to build
complicated things.

I choked a little.
     Well Played. Shouldn't be eating
that crap anyway.

The suit looks great, no
     doubt, but it's definitely
not an exact clone.

Anyhow, now I'll
     find out how she really feels
about me. The witch.

Can't you just name them
     "Steve Smith Giants" and "Steve Smith
Panthers" or something?

It's easy enough
     and you can charge 50-80k. "We get"???
What drugs are you on?

The pictures were culled
     from everyday media,
including billboards.

Barca seem to still
     think someone (Man City) might
offer cash for him.

he was bought out by
     the insurance industry
from the beginning.

My grandma was born
     in LA, then her family moved
down to Mexico.

I got a copy
     and paste from the press release.
I was not impressed.

depends how much you
     want to grow, but I'd say no,
it isn't worth it.

This writer does not
     understand the mechanics
behind the programs.

so I am cooler.
     I do not think that word means
what you think it means...

It's also pretty
     obvious where they got them
from in the first place.

Many, many times.
     According to the Bible,
he's right in some ways.

Yes, I have poor "school"
     skills but an extremely rich
life experience!

implies that he hopes
     there is still more penis than
the length they removed.

If they let her go,
     maybe she will see what she's
missing and come back.

This is why there is
     usually an exclusion
zone around these things.

This is much rarer
     than it used to be and not
nearly as intense.

You can easily
     memorize all of the M20
rules in a weekend.

Any idea
     on how much fixing something
like this would run me?

To encourage kids
     to learn, you have to show them
that learning is fun.

it is the only
     thing i can do that makes me
feel like a ninja.

funny thing i just
     bought those this year and wore them
to a camping trip.

Remember, people
     act based on what they believe,
not what you believe.

Is there a big crowd
     waiting at the museum
vending area?

The people there swore
     by it and it's worked for me
so far. Did she fart?

You did not address
     my point, which, like it or not,
is a valid one.

This is a very
     important part of Jewish
culture, and still is.

[deleted] I like
     to think I **am** Abe Froman,
and yes, yes they do.

I've enjoyed the times
     Darth has ran with us. I would
hate to see you leave.

And by "don't bother"
     I didn't mean 'give up', I meant
'keep working on it'.

there's always something
     to be said for a gentle
swat on the behind.

Please correct me if
     I'm wrong. It just seems weirder
the older I get.

Nice moment. I would
     straighten the curved and tilted
horizon a bit.

It's a bit cheaper
     too, but still is a very
nice bike. Sweet. will do!

And I can't even
     link the fourth attempt because
you deleted it!

Calling to inquire
     as to whether I received
your resume is fine.

[deleted] Bullet
     to the Brain is perfection
in seven pages.

That's not bad at all
     to allow us to practice
whenever we want!

Customer service
     sucks because it is a cost
and is expensive.

Honestly, this was
     the first thing I thought of when
I read the title.

the internet There
     are a couple of problems
with your idea.

Well there are many
     women in here that would love
to be in your shoes.

Holy SHIT. I thought
     the whole set, together, might
be a grand or so.

I read that billboard
     and just have no idea
what they're getting at.

Either watch it one
     segment at a time, or smoke
after each segment.

You can continue
     healing even if you aren't
facing your patient.

Tension and release.
     Loud and quiet. Dense and sparse.
And keep it simple.

Consider a less
     'futuristic' typeface, go
for something timeless.

Have them tumor near
     your base and use the tumors
to creep out safely.

[deleted] this thread
     is about a catholic priest,
not a terrorist.

we don't see you ALL
     as redneck, violent gun nuts,
just the southerners.

Couldn't give a fuck,
     and this has nothing to do
with the article.

I just preferred Strunk
     and White Congratulations
on your position!

And my uncle, dad,
     and grandpa are all pretty
big time fishermen.

For liberals its all
     about making the other
guys knuckle under.

Furthermore, you don't
     appear to understand what
"ad hominem" means.

Like any group you're
     going to have the fringe who
believe otherwise.

So what happened next?
     I wonder if she ever
found out who he was.

Private plumbers will
     sell you their favorite model
with a nice markup.

The other main books
     I buy second hand are ones
that are out of print.

Its called breaking news,
     sometimes not all the details
are available.

They become more pink
     and therefore your teeth appear
whiter and brighter.

Thank you! Think fast, think
     fast stun and think fast flash Nope,
nobody else does.

honestly how much
     do you have to hate yourself
to do shit like that.

Conservatism
     isn't about "not rocking
the boat" socially.

The same reason why
     your bartender doesn't stick
his thumb in your beer.

The site is brand new,
     and I have plenty of time
to implement them.

Thanks for the advice.
     what is the best thing to do
in Almeria?

How long is that race
     to endure the dreadful curse
that is upon them?

Yeah, that's what I mean.
     [deleted] Why not you just
become her boyfriend?

And humans are still
     the smarter animal. You.
Win. Everything. Yes.

It's hard to find due
     to the fact it was never
released in the west.

I don't remember
     if there was anything else,
but I think that's it.

I'd tap that. That's what
     I do. I go 'smoking' when
my team leader does.

Dang! This 'internet'
     thing may actually prove to be
useful after all!!!!

WELL THANK GOD THE DOG
     SURVIVED! I hope you're a troll.
Are you a Christian?