Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 1687 of 1746

Haiku #7378

Private industry
     is only more efficient
when it has to be.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7379

They burned up and Joe
     didn't really do much more than
spin around in place.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7380

after he showed what?
     I work in a library
as a programmer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7381

By this argument,
     suppose you pay your doctor
$X for being late.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7382

Does anyone out
     there other than me realize
this is a big hoax?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7383

And a highway will
     be built to facilitate
this experience.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7384

Please stop doing what
     you're doing. Very sexy!!
Love her flawless skin!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7385

They're the dirtiest,
     most crooked mother fuckers
you will ever meet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7386

Roasted red peppers
     and some red chili flakes made
the mix last weekend.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7387

Weed hasn't impaired
     my focus in longer than
I can remember.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7388

I apologize
     if I seemed blunt and perhaps
arrogant before.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7389

So I accomplish
     little by discussing these
ideas with you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7390

Michael? I need you
     guys to do me a favor
and get off the shed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7391

You will get better
     at this as you continue
to make approaches.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7392

I'd recommend you
     approach this guy, real close, like
whispering distance.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7393

I've begun using
     Bing since the news dropped and hey,
I kinda like it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7394

Yes. But I have no
     idea how one would go
about doing that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7395

The main problem is
     this is being planned to be
held in a city.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7396

I buy old pictures
     at yard sales, thrift shops and write
stories about them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7397

I think I just struck
     gold after clicking around
the site a little.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7398

The bullet also
     passed through both feet which were crossed
over each other.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7399

Moreover, why should
     there be proof of Wil Wheaton
being good or bad?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7400

Adjust for better
     sight lines if need be during
lulls in the action.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7401

But we need to get
     through it and deal with it one
problem at a time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7402

Religion can do
     this, but it doesn't always
and doesn't have to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7403

I'd look to find out
     if this is the case, why she's
upset about it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7404

pretend someone calls
     you to go to another
more important fight.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7405

She says I'm robbing
     the cradle and I say she's
robbing the grave. Thanks!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7406

You can't understand
     because you haven't been there.
I will check them out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7407

Viking funeral.
     Wooden boat and all. Guests can
wear pointy helmets.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7409

Gotta agree on
     the Taco Bell, I could eat
that shit every day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7410

I just took two days
     off, a rare event, and feel
better than ever.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7411

The real world is too
     harsh to be raised to believe
we are so fragile.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7412

Or just pack something
     lite and eat it before you
get into the lab.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7413

I need to find out
     how to cure a fresh nugget
that I just received.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7414

Got it. You have free
     speech only so long as you
agree with my views.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7415

The circumcision
     pushers see it as a win
for circumcision.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7416

My mom did that too.
     Twice, actually. She just didn't want
all the attention.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7417

ignorant racist
     bigots like you are what's wrong
with america.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7418

I hate doing it,
     but my body hair makes me
very self conscious.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7419

Kind of like telling
     the girl you raped that you didn't
intend to rape her?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7420

I loved Inception,
     but I didn't think the dream worlds
were surreal enough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7421

It certainly would
     have kept its monarchy, laws,
language, and culture.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7422

Well admittedly,
     he does hide his joo issues
very, very well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7423

I agree countries
     with huge populations are
harder to manage.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7424

Or are you saying
     that because you're offended
by my opinions?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7425

I stay on schedule
     because I schedule enough
time for my patients.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7426

Correction: the whole
     point of seduction theory
is not aimed at men.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7427

Pretty interesting.
     Not sure that would be allowed
in most of the world.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7428

I have been doing
     this for a month and a half
now and it works great.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7429

Do you think they just
     wanted to collect welfare,
so jumped on the boat?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7430

That might not always
     be the case, but that doesn't
make it right, either.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7431

That's why I don't see
     this as a valid response
to the question asked.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7432

He said, "that's a good
     point, let me go ask my staff"
and he left the room.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7433

A single knob is
     simple compared to the crap
that I put up with.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7434

Blanket pardoning
     is a sure way to losing
the next election.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7435

Make good note of her
     biology and listen
to her as you work.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7436

Otherwise people
     will just look at you and say,
"There's that atheist.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7437

It's sad, but it's our
     equivalent of bringing
out the good wine first.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7438

Sucks balls, completely
     useless and never runs when
you actually need it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7439

Jesus christ though, now
     that I know what I'm doing
this game is awesome.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7440

There's one slight problem...
     Welcome. It's been a while since
I've listened these guys.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7441

Is it me or does
     this sound similar to Judge
Dredd? Not worth the risk.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7442

They were very smart
     for the period of time
that they were alive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7443

They are a very
     intelligent species, but
not as much as us.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7444

Putting beer in small
     glasses in your garden will
catch tons of snails too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7445

I am not going
     to make an argument from
authority here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7446

I'll even donate
     the bullet for the poor beast.
summers leg looks.... wrong.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7447

It all makes sense if
     you use Polish notation.
Nah he's Italian.

Score: 0          

Haiku #212393

Truly a model
     example of a floating
voter I daresay.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7448

I figured throwing
     in a little bit of pink
wouldn't hurt. Who? Who?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7449

I was actually just
     able to figure it out
using Firebug.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7450

I only get red
     grapes and red and green apples
plus the nuts and dip.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7451

You usually just
     blow them with your mouth. And me?
Are you both of us?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7452

But not less convinced.
     In fact, my convictions are
backed by evidence.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7453

But if people won't
     even dance to bad shit or
good shit, that can suck.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7454

Instead of working
     the salesman down all I could
do is walk away.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7455

if you want to throw
     one my direction i would
happily accept.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7456

It just seems to take
     on a whole different level
during those ages.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7457

They are smaller than
     meat eaters and get injured
more often. Fuck. That.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7459

I'm sure there must be
     some countries that have stricter
laws on name changing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7460

The place is a whole
     in the wall, do not expect
anything fancy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7461

It could determine
     whether he gets to heat his
home in the winter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7462

I am speaking from
     experience here and not
some bullshit theory.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7463

It's pretty stable
     and bugs are being ironed
out really quickly.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7464

Which is really messed
     up since we were collecting
money to staff them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7465

She likely is now
     and is using this to "fight"
those inner feelings.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7466

Those damn raisins are
     always causing computer
related trouble.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7468

That's what I think is
     going to happen over
the next several years.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7469

Mandating healthcare
     is a separate issue from
the public option.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7470

If it does not help
     you get along with others,
it is immoral.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7471

The simplest way is
     to show what happens [without
net neutrality.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7472

Dude, if you make it,
     I'll definitely buy it.
....since **ITS** discovery...

Score: 0          

Haiku #7473

This makes your traps less
     lethal, I don't think it will
slow down the training.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7474

It is now my quest
     to find said picture and post
here for all to see.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7475

Period. Second,
     you talk about "by the time
I have the money."

Score: 0          

Haiku #7476

I hop in, survive
     my first night, and then do stuff
the manual way.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7477

[deleted] The vines
     from last year have already
started to wither.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7478

It's funny because
     the priest is getting oral
sex from a centaur.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7479

Go read the comments
     in the other submissions
about this topic.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7480

Sometimes these awkward
     things just fade away on their
own, sometimes they don't.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7481

You can't really help
     being put in the second
situation, though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7482

I also started
     winking when I read this, just
to see if I could.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7483

By the time you get
     there, you are up and won't want
to get back in bed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7484

Thanks so much, this is
     exactly what I'm hoping
will happen for me!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7485

I wish I had more
     *brain* to be able to work
through a lot of this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7486

So, of course, that would,
     by definition, include
the Ground Zero mosque.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7487

An inefficient
     one is one where raising price
increases profit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7488

I'm just saying you
     can have a good time even
when you're trying to win.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7489

Even Mozart had
     to put in the hours before
he could write music.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7490

[deleted] you laugh,
     but he's about to slit some
politician's throat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7491

I prefer to pack
     light and then buy whatever
I end up needing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7492

behind every good
     author is satan dressed up
as an editor.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7493

I usually just
     put American veggies
and chicken in it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7494

Is it bad to say
     that I thought they were going
to be frozen dicks?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7496

Too bad your parents
     didn't feel the same so we could
be spared your nonsense.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7497

This can be playing
     with him, petting him, giving
treats, etc.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7498

Then feel free to go
     through some old classics and read
the first page of each.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7499

If you really want
     to sell it seriously,
you need an agent.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7500

is that what i said?
     *checks her post nope! whew... didn't say
anything like that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7501

[deleted] I don't
     think killing Rudi's owner
is a good option.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7502

People often want
     to over look the numbers
killed through starvation.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7503

I never even
     knew this type of gymnastics
even existed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7504

It's absolutely
     worth it though, as accidents
will always happen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7505

Uh, Stewart? Oh, dear.
     I'm a graduate student
in mathematics.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7506

But these are just thoughts;
     whatever my descendants
want to do is fine.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7507

The title would be
     "Boob from the side" or something.
Where *are* you hiring?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7508

Would you please post you
     mailing address so I can
oblige you interest?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7509

I remember when
     I was young, I used to think
*blank* was actually *blank*!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7511

What size battery
     really depends on your run
time of the device.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7512

That has value. Plus,
     why do you care what people
spend their money on?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7513

Uh... marauders rape
     stalkers, unless you can blink
out of his vision.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7514

I think the correct
     question might be *do you piss**
into **the shower*.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7515

I just hope he can
     still trust me and doesn't think
any less of me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7516

No one worthwhile is
     going to refuse to date
you because of this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7517

It doesn't matter
     how much fish you can grow if
you don't eat the fish.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7518

.it is easier
     to preach to them if you eat
and drink as they do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7519

Maybe it's a threat.
     You won't be let down. The first
session is INSANE!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7520

at least the issues
     you found are discussed the most
and the most strange ones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7521

The ones where people
     were blocking roads and other
annoying actions.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7522

What your body DOES
     need is glucose, especially
for building muscle.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7523

However, the word
     "slavery" has itself been
changed over the years.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7524

Heh I never knew
     the order of the letters
marked that distinction!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7525

My guess is they would
     place the call themselves rather
than have you do it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7526

No? That's because those
     bits were completely cut out
in syndication.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7527

Hey, it's plausible.
     She seems to be using brains
that isn't there. Should.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7528

Get a crappy, cheap
     electric guitar and get
on the internet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7529

Yes, but in a game
     engine, you can designate
which lights cast shadows.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7530

And, that's just the part
     I pay. My employer pays
twice that much for me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7531

I think zipper pants
     are now part of the Boy Scouts'
Class A uniform.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7532

I don't doubt that some
     Afghans harbor ill will when
seeing US soldiers.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7533

That's not a really
     attractive character trait
in someone, is it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7534

My female teacher
     then said "Psycho, I feel bad
for your future wife".

Score: 0          

Haiku #7535

If this software could
     be pushed it would have made things
so much easier.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7536

Sometimes in life you
     will need to fight, and there is
nothing wrong with it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7538

Don't make people think.
     Don't make people use it just
to figure it out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7539

Too bad no other
     scientist could replicate
his bizarre findings.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7540

[deleted] But if
     you're kissing you close your eyes
The power of love.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7541

Cool, thanks very much!
     You posited that the cost
was not trivial.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7542

mirror anyone?
     I've got one that was given
to me as a gift.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7543

It really depends
     in what context you would call
Americans fat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7544

Drink lots of water
     the day before and don't eat
much before you go.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7545

why do internet
     nerds feel like they need to come
up with new curses.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7546

Not cool. It was News
     Corp, they own FOX and the Wall
Street Journal. So no.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7547

Skit is a talk show
     where the guests are all stalkers,
and they compare notes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7548

But he's still drowning!
     Can anyone figure out
how to make him stop?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7549

As you already
     know, the intensity can
leave you pretty spent.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7550

Luckily for me,
     finals JUST finished so I'll
have time to read it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7551

It might be fun, but
     I'm sure not everyone would
feel comfortable.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7552

Question is how does
     he keep the inside of his
suit sanitary.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7553

Even if he didn't
     do it the fact that he beat
his wife makes him scum.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7554

If you know Unix
     and C++ (and those are
the skills the job needs)....

Score: 0          

Haiku #7555

Now with a name like
     Nose Hair, you can imagine
how good it must be.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7556

Start learning some songs
     that are easier to play
like Nirvana songs.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7557

Tell them to *advise*
     you of any low fluids,
then add them yourself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7558

I'm confused. There is
     nothing wrong with pushing her
boundaries a little.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7559

(If anyone knows
     where this comes from, I would be
glad to be refreshed).

Score: 0          

Haiku #7560

Bad cops make for bad
     police work and bad justice.
Get rid of bad cops.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7561

WHOOPS. Thank you good sir.
     I loathe this book and I loathe
this sort of advice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7562

He didn't. He called his
     actions dumb. Anger! Outrage!
Feelings of distrust!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7563

In addition, there
     are additional assumptions
behind your statement.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7564

Hasn't anyone
     ever heard of being smart?
Jeeze. [deleted] damn!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7565

Do you think we'll need
     reservations for camp sites
in Feb?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7566

Note: It's been a few
     years since I've seen it but that's
what I remember.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7567

Don't take more than that,
     though, or you'll never finish.
Made me Lol.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7568

Or are you worried
     someone is going to play
the racism card?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7569

TRULY I IMPLORE
     YOU, FORGIVE THIS IGNORANT
HUSK OF A HUMAN.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7570

In fact, once we didn't
     use protection and nothing
seemed wrong afterwards.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7571

Good luck. If he can
     take it, tell him honestly
what you think of him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7572

Net neutrality
     wouldn't outlaw bandwidth caps
or traffic shaping.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7573

also it must be
     the shape of the bronze one, not
the stainless steel one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7574

Give yourself some time
     to recover from the shock.
Tell him about it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7575

I imagine there's
     some tube or chute where he can
get rid of his waste.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7576

Sadly in Puerto
     Rico they are huge along
with rat tails. Yea. Yea.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7577

No, because I didn't
     think he was making any
significant point.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7578

I didn't see any
     real questions or answers from
his observations.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7579

Presto desktop does.
     Presto mobile does not What's
wrong with a handout?

Score: 0          

Haiku #7581

A Guatemalan
     friend we went with summed it all
up as "fucking weird".

Score: 0          

Haiku #7582

Nice. 'round here we call
     'em, "grape smugglers." I agree
with that. OMG!

Score: 0          

Haiku #7583

but, for my money
     I'd rather see a Kubrick
film for the first time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #7584

As long as you are
     enjoying it, it really
doesn't matter though.

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:30 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.