Reddit Haikus

I know. Totally.
     I liked his response on me
"supporting both sides."

Their sound has evolved
     beyond any other bands
I have ever known.

Has nothing to do
     with disliking anyone.
I am a Christian.

Glad to hear someone
     else loves this book. Bell peppers.
I just can't do it.

That dusty, moldy,
     old canvas scent just really
hits me to the core.

His films are fun, but
     deeply philosophical
and beautifully shot.

I just cant hide it..
     I'm about to lose control..
and I think like it..

If you can find love
     and make it last forever,
more power to you.

Eventually you'll
     lie yourself (and the whole case)
out of court. Sleep well.

Same. then it would shoot
     all the clicks at once, often
killing my own side.

Don't worry, you're on
     the right track, and that's all you
really need to know.

My blood is boiling.
     This shit is going to blow
up and blow up big.

The mind at its heart
     is more truthful, and this bleeds
into every part.

Also, all homeless
     people (especially if they're
Chinese) are worthless.

My only problem
     with japanese pizza is
the use of mayo.

Nice link. Why did you
     get a birthday card from him?
He knows you somehow?

To, I dunno, just
     make sure that their opinion
is better than mine?

You are a free man
     and for now, it is much much
much better this way.

Just now starting back
     into it My high level
is about yea big.

That said, if I didn't
     feel bad about doing it,
then hey, I like sex.

Did she just hear some
     real music and realize how
terrible she is?

If it doesn't go
     down but everything seems fine
then you can pop it.

All that is left is
     MENTALLY DIGESTED FLUFF.
Hey! Are you that Guy?

I don't want to mess
     with the credit system or
whatever it is.

They stripped him of his
     clothes, beat him and went away,
leaving him half dead.

**You've given up sex.
     What do you get in return
for that, what's your 'take'??

She would have to get
     support from her parents, or
worse, her government.

Each singular wish
     has many wishes as well
as the total wish.

All was well until
     you decided to attempt
to sound out the rage.

Viewing it one way
     would induce different feelings
than the opposite view.

[deleted] Thanks, that's
     actually really good to hear
from the other side.

Hannity has no
     problem cherry picking "facts"
that agree with him.

Also, what about
     going for a cheaper frame
and upgrade your wheels?

Your assumption is
     that this genie understands
English. Ha ha ha.

I have no excuse
     for not learning the math though..
I'll get right on that.

INAPPROPRIATE
     REMARK! INAPPROPRIATE!
INAPPROPRIATE!

I'll definitely
     have to take a look at them.
Thanks for replying!

In China that means
     censoring Tiananmen
Square information.

All I need to do
     now is find a work around
to the Flash problem.

Basically I just
     tip her for rubbing her boobs
all over my head.

Tires will also
     'rot' if not ridden for long
periods of time.

"Hello" is enough
     for a shag, and it's actually
pretty wonderful.

Also, I think he's
     wearing some kind of makeup
in some of those shots.

The next year I found
     out the girl who played the prince
was raped and murdered.

Just change the label?
     Switch WHICH around? They both like
spicy food right now!

Too bad, pay a bunch
     to get on a different one.
Flight delayed for hours?

Honestly, better
     to cut the ceiling now then
have it die in there.

No, I think this is
     something Apple needs to solve
and I'll tell you why.

See, if you've given
     your mind and heart to Jesus,
you lose your free will.

I've always wondered
     who pays for the seats that are
torn up in a search?

Well, I don't think there's
     even a number that high
if we convert it.

I didn't think you were
     supposed to cook steel cut oats
in the microwave.

Does it regain its
     "bounce" and volume after you
switch back from long hair?

Sadly, unless you're
     super rich there's nothing you
can do to stop it.

I'm trying to avoid
     arguing with you, and trying
to level with you.

When I got into
     this business, I was Gung Ho
for single payer.

Sorry, I am not
     able to find your apps when
I crawled the market.

[deleted] That's it.
     This tune is gonna be stuck
in my head all day.

I would say don't play
     their game, and don't let them set
the rules of the game.

Any specific
     recommendations as far
as hybrid bikes go?

If I remember
     I'll try and see if this is
even practical.

It depends whether
     the assassination was
justified or not.

Not to take away
     from any other advice
given here but dude...

I think that every
     friday is voluntary
limited fast too.

Please. The further down
     I scroll, the more I'm laughing.
Coz you have a point.

I have a Sony
     A300 with some old Minolta
glass I bought for cheap.

So absence of them
     can leave room for a wider
range of responses.

You should never use
     your mouse to click a button
in the lower right.

I'll try to be there,
     so if anyone else is
going, let me know.

The clunk is probably
     just the way the metal bits
are in the gearbox.

That site has suffered
     quite a dip in quality
since it first started.

From another post
     I made where the person missed
the same exact point.

I used to love them,
     but I feel this series has
offered little new.

You've got some screwy
     ideas about what things
are worth in this world.

And the group of jocks
     kept on bullying people
whenever they could.

the best solution
     to this is to let them die
until they get it.

You think THAT is bad?
     You should see MY sink. I make
due with what I have.

You don't want a good
     pair of sexy, feminine
lips to go to waste.

Yes we know the world
     is a dangerous place where
sometimes people die.

You mean shit like from
     Jersey Shore? I'm guessing you
want a drama group.

Now that this joke is
     mainstream I can't really laugh
at it anymore.

[deleted] how does
     disabling 3g fix data?
more information?

Best of luck to you!
     dose it also make you fat
and trashy? u mad?

I hope not. I find
     philosophy of language
dreadfully boring.

Also, the 18k rose
     gold is gonna do its share
to raise up the price.

Now I need a drink...
     A different one, not this one.
In a different place.

Between this and "white
     and nerdy" they've got me pegged.
It's also awesome.

I don't think blazing,
     superhighway, and 56k fit
in the same sentence.

I can only thank
     the TV gods and Subway
for this precious gift.

I thought he made all
     his money from writing songs
for truck commercials.

THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!
     WHY DID HE USE COMIC SANS?!?!
[deleted] Agreed.

That one makes sense though.
     His *seminal* article
*seeded* other works.

I don't think they're gross,
     but I don't have a problem
with body fluids.

No rational person
     goes and buys a gun looking
to "punish" people.

It puts me on edge,
     I'm in a rush, and am more
nervous at the wheel.

Nice, thanks. If you are
     on probation and getting
regular drug tests.

Some of "A Clockwork
     Orange" was filmed at the place
I work at right now.

However, you didn't
     specify that these wishes
have to be granted.

Do people actually
     pick the least experienced
person they can find.

But please do something
     so that this should not happen.
Your wish is granted.

I wish for my name,
     and only my name, to be
changed to spaghetti.

By the way, the Dom
     was financed by two thirds from
public donations.

How about "Reasons
     why Canada is better
than the USA".

If you actually clicked
     his link, you'd see that it's spam
for a movie site.

they will trip you down
     the stairs trying to break your neck
yeah but that's sexy.

It's gold and silver
     that are gone, because the clock
eats the battery.

Seriously, more
     detail and did she mention
the name of her church?

They deserve every
     bit of it and then some Please
tell me your a girl.

But when they started
     to look in detail, they found
several oddities.

A: Well here is how
     things role in transportation
research and practice.

I accept these terms.
     [deleted] Chinese fast food
and a tank of gas.

We used to have three?
     We have two bars, three grocery
stores, and six churches.

And there really is
     something "magical" about
the piece of paper.

I wish I was smart
     enough to ask this question
at that age. Kudos.

In my own country
     philosophy is also
held in low esteem.

I had a good run;
     but, I'm fat and retired now.
Age sucks. Still nothing?

Or she's the student
     and you're the older teacher
(get her a plaid skirt).

wait till friday when
     notch adds it to the server?
...so she won't leave him.

Freshman and sophomore
     years all of the lab extras
were taken care of.

He is like listen
     **dude** I can do what I want,
here is your ticket.

Been a long time since
     I've even seen it... so what
do I know I guess.

Lol. Why stock
     all physical porn when there
is the internet??

who is lebron james?
     is he a basketball star?
yes absolutely.

I wrote a simple
     post it note saying "please park
elsewhere" nothing else.

The boulder comes loose
     and crushes you putting you
into a coma.

Holy shit I just
     realized I hate this guy just
from looking at him.

No, Peter, the joke
     is that it's a fucking bike
tire pump. Due to?

My estimated
     payment was supposed to be
$300/mo initially.

It's okay if you
     misuse it now and then, but
all the freaking time?

Not from Bangor, but
     I'll keep that in mind. Did you
catch his middle name?

I have no control
     and it's never planned, but it's
always impressive.

If this means no more
     3d movies or disney stars,
I'm ok with that.

People like me would
     do that for free anyway,
industry or not.

Wow... This "writer" is
     amazingly misinformed
and outright stupid.

The Iraq "war" was
     voted on and approved by
Congress and the UN.

Bottom line is her
     son chose to serve his country
in the Armed Forces.

I'm considering
     getting this for a tattoo.
I likes it. Have fun!

Dinosaurs laid eggs
     before there were any birds,
let along chickens.

EDIT: I'm still blown
     away that your sources were
simply headlines. Wow.

A magician? No,
     he is just a teenager.
Oh but wait, KARMA!

Do you think Ansel
     Adams took all those stunning
photographs at night?

Yep! [deleted] Ah
     cool I have it but haven't
had time to watch it!

Lots of people go
     crazy reading Atlas Shrugged.
A Levels? Good luck!

Even if they do,
     why would you not get a Merge?
Thing sounds fantastic.

Don't fuck with teething
     gel or other stuff that's not
meant to be used there.

You can't voice record
     someone without their consent.
It's a real tattoo.

You should be able
     to defend with a little
bit of good micro.

There's more to it than
     that, but that's what I have off
the top of my head.

Pooped my pants after
     watching a movie about
Toilets. i used to.

Who the fuck cares if
     you're smart and you've done really
cool shit in your life?

He did continue
     to do voice acting, and he's
one of the best now.

Younger women on
     the same career path are not
nearly as bitchy.

I just got my news
     from The Colbert Report What
is marriage to you?

Message me if you
     have any questions about
Demand Studios.

A science lesson
     once showed us how unlikely
our existence is.

[deleted] Holy
     Crap. Nice breasts. Wow. And you are
beautiful as well.

Libertarian:
     (Walks off mumbling about Galt).
Yes, Six Feet Under!!!!

Sure this year is Queen
     Celine Dion, next year is
Queen Tricia Helfer.

Incredible stuff.
     Keep it coming, Slasher. Damn,
came here to post that.

I guess they really
     want us to keep playing both
games for some reason.

Life? What 'right' to life
     has a man who is drowning
in the Pacific?

if you make a good
     post, would you like it to go
with no responses??

This is the part where
     you cut the electrical
power to the plant.

Some evidence is
     God working in the natural
world, like miracles.

Most likely will be
     in Christchurch though, Goodbye Blue
Mondays or The Dux?

This is where we make
     everything that's currently
on the online store.

Nice chubby daddy
     bear like that, tears streaming down
his face; oh baby.

HA! If there hasn't
     been a revolution by
now, there never will.

I am for equal
     rights of any consenting
adults to marry.

I am sure it will
     be a huge conversation
piece in your new home.

I don't see any
     problem with having your lights
on at any time.

I work Technical
     Support at a fairly large
English FE college.

You have to have these
     conversations well before
you propose to her.

I think you can make
     at least three before you run
out of energy.

And its twin sister.
     I will not be commenting
or responding here.

Here's a hint, DON'T CLICK
     ON ANY LINK THAT HE POSTS.
You sounds like my mom.

Maybe it's a ploy
     to see if any show up.
Midwest Sports Fans, huh?

Sorry O, we're not
     buying the "right direction"
bullshit any more.

a confidential
     doc that's then released may well
still retain the claim.

My biggest problem
     is I lack the coping skills
to actually calm _down_.

I am so sorry.
     I have to go there for work
several times a month.

Because the truth is
     I don't believe in God or
any of that stuff.

It's just a conscious
     decision to not relate
to you in that way.

As you clearly state
     there are hundreds of choices
when buying a car.

I thought Jamie said
     that more often than Adam.
Now must watch. a book?

But I have no friends...
     so if the last post is wrong,
they must all be wrong!!!

If I had no choice
     I'd probably have done the same.
dude you have no taste.

[deleted] You're right,
     it's much better to have no
chance than any chance.

Have you guys ever
     seen that scene in Scanners where
that dudes head blew up?

I'm thinking about
     trying it indoors, haven't seen
too many of those.

Those two words were thrown
     around a lot in my art
classes in college.

horrible movie
     Now that is just crazy talk.
Engineering Bay.

Ironic given
     Glenn Beck reports bullshit news
stories every day.

And be sure to keep
     those checks coming, we've got more
private jets to buy.

They'll tell it to you
     (and replace your card if you
need one). Done and done.

Make them perceive you
     as a threat, nobody pulls
out in front of you!

They have the power,
     but I've never heard of them
actually doing so.

Touche. I'll be picking
     one up this week, I'll let you
know how it turns out.

Right now their presence
     is putting a bridle on
the insurgency.

But the fake movie
     poster that uses the same
punchline is better.

Time the one timer,
     and you can get a great shot
or a broken stick.