Reddit Haikus

It's supposed to be
     cold or room temp, I think, but
I prefer it warm.

This whole story is
     now out of place and I feel
totally silly.

The President gives
     direction and signs off on
the final budget.

Best of luck! I was
     wondering the same about
the two fingered thing.

Do you freak out when
     you see that people have knives
on them? ^troll Really?

Little red pegs on
     circular metal bodies
around the flame box.

Power needs to be
     present for any corrupt
act to manifest.

[deleted] TIL some
     people are still learning things
I thought obvious.

Hell I made money
     going to school and almost
never worked. Be smart.

Don't guilt yourself, you
     have a family of your own
that takes up your time.

If I had any
     fucking idea, I'd tell
you in a second.

Also remember
     Glock has near legendary
customer service.

So, be sure you close
     your account in the proper
bank accepted way.

Allow yourself time
     to mourn this relationship.
Be kind to yourself.

When my blanket was
     no more, I think I started
picking at myself.

I'm sure one of them
     (if not all) would be willing
to give you a ride.

Even if I was,
     I wouldn't post here. Just one
for complaining then.

.the kids and he love
     my meat loaf, he called it crack
meatloaf) anyway.

How does it compare
     to normal housing, price wise.
that's not true at all.

I was expecting
     "handyman" to return more
salacious results.

I'm gonna bother
     you in a couple of months
if you don't do this.

I can't begrudge her
     the vague sense of wanderlust.
Who hasn't had it?

Actually, few people
     know this, but rabbits actually
have two types of poo.

Then they go to sleep
     in the basement, and the whole
movie goes to hell.

You realize that I'm
     not saying we disagree
on every level.

Sometimes skunk, horse barn,
     the crotch of my underwear,
moist soil, and catnip.

You have far too much
     common sense to ever be
employed by the courts.

Fuck off. shape my tongue
     as if voicing "ng" in "sing".
Then retract slightly.

duh stack overflow
     Great set. :D thanks for sharing.
Would love to see more.

Now you take this home,
     throw it in a pot, add some
broth, a potato.

Whitest kids u know?
     Hey, I'm an American,
not a communist.

Shit like this is why
     I'll probably end up playing
whatever Valve makes.

Perhaps. The point is
     that you should not blame yourself
for anything here.

Turn some ice into
     hydrogen and oxygen.
Need your mom back? Oops.

She doesn't really
     have breasts either so it might
look something like that.

Same goes for Christians
     or followers of any
other religion.

The ability
     to prevent competition
will always win out.

One of my friends was
     writing on an extremely
similar topic...

She didn't get yelled at.
     Why did I? Eventually,
I graduated.

Then he joined a WoW
     raiding guild, and I hardly
got to talk to him.

Everyone else I've
     known who has asked for help has
been taken care of.

Hey, I didn't say that's
     all I do, those are just what
I enjoy the most.

I always hoped there
     would be an episode where
he meets him again.

I don't believe it.
     Dude. I worked in a warehouse
driving a forklift.

Not much else you can
     say about someone who would
do something like that.

While I'm certainly
     not where I want to be yet,
I'm on the right path.

As long as you feel
     like your building toward something,
then you're in good shape.

One of those crawly
     motherfuckers can show up
fucking anywhere.

Ace is the place... Eh,
     people say stuff like "it's twice
as slow" all the time.

On the same token,
     most people have thought about
robbing a bank too.

I just saw your post.
     Your point about dwindling state
funds is well taken.

and then continue
     on to say "I WILL DESTROY
YOUR DICK WITH MY ASS!"

Are you sure they won't
     hold your passport or throw you
in debtor's prison?

Every time I closed
     my eyes I only saw her
eyes and rotting flesh.

I had only seen
     the first one. What's the quote from?
In any case, yeah.

When I left my wife,
     I honestly thought I'd be
alone forever.

Nobody knows why
     our mental capacities
evolved as they did.

You must disable
     Javascript site wide, then you
can add exceptions.

So did I... She's there
     so later you can say, "Yeah,
we dated a while.

Just saying. I'm yet
     to encounter one of these
creatures in the wild.

I didn't say it was
     right, just passing the info
to the underground.

And of course always
     being aware of what is
behind your target.

you want to be fucked
     by him or, you really are
fucking retarded.

It is not flimsy
     and has a very solid,
weighty feel to it.

I've never done that,
     but I associate smells
with tastes quite often.

I can brush aside
     more than that with one sentence:
*Rwanda? Fuck it.

Government debt can
     be an investment into
our country's future.

If you don't like what
     you're doing, you can just quit
and do something else.

sort of looks like him
     These are outliers even
for religious types.

Look at her face when
     the Dad comes in, and you should
make the connection.

You're cheating. What do
     you mean 'why is he giving
the middle finger'?

my roommate feels like
     this about straws, utensils,
knives etc.

anything she is
     carrying that could, i guess,
go into her eye.

I'll never see Tim
     Allen or the movie Joe
Somebody the same.

Using these steps has
     save me hundreds in charges
and hours of my life.

This is the biggest
     problem I have with Conroy
and his attitude.

Yeah man, why do you
     think little kids cover their
eyes to try to hide?

And did you ever
     talk to your dad about since
he saw something too?

Also, tiny cars
     are awesome, especially when
parallel parking.

Because I knew this,
     I knew I could smoke safely
on saturday nights.

You'd be surprised how
     rare actual violence is
in this day and age.

They're revelations?
     Ok.. Maybe I'm a bit
more obsessed than most.

"Here's a funny scene,
     audience, now laugh, because
I just told you to."

Only Commonwealth
     citizens can be knighted.
Tell me about it.

I like it! So, now,
     I'm not a stranger. I've laid
down my credentials.

While amusing, just
     because you can do something
doesn't mean you should.

Period. One shot
     in the eye and game over.
Full of hot air, then.

Assume that I would
     invest at the same rate you
are investing at.

Now the funny part
     is, he says that they are charged
with terrorist acts.

It's cute because girls
     only poop sugar cookies
and fart cinnamon.

I just wonder how
     you function with people who
have different beliefs.

China didn't see strong
     growth until after its birth
rates took a nose dive.

It seems that your cat
     truly does not give a fuck.
Lisa needs braces.

[](/ok) Where do you
     live, that is one of the most
important issues.

The basic question
     is whether suppliers can
be substituted.

Thanks for the name on
     the architect Who needs girls
when you have robots?

LOL. Will do.
     They do it because it works.
Does it work on you?

Lol, I thought
     that was a bit out of place.
Great list otherwise.

Some day years from now
     I am going to think back
to this thread in thanks.

No. I picked my school
     based on a pack of lies, just
like everyone else.

It's not worth going
     to a doctor who doesn't
treat you with respect.

Mainly, I just need
     my ass kicked into moving
towards a long term goal.

We have a warehouse
     full of tangible product
and we are selling.

What is "TIL"? no one
     has any idea Poor
by comparison...

I do not support
     their overly aggressive
stance in the matter.

Why rationalize
     sex without romance to these
people, but not you?

I wasn't any
     more addicted than any
other teenage boy.

If I got a hot
     dentist, I like to show off
what my tongue can do.

I have to say, though,
     those drapes behind the bed are
horrible (sorry).

What you're describing
     is exactly what happened
to my neighbor's cat.

I really don't think
     gender inequity is
caused by religion.

walk around dragging
     your feet to build up the charge
and then touch the wires.

I'd do either though.
     Yep, i really like that ad
That looks really cool.

For a second there
     you made me think I traveled
to the past. Asshole.

Add in the chicken
     meat and as much of the cheese
as you desire.

Some people look good
     with them, but it's really rare
to see it done well.

Pile up all the stuff
     you think you'll need, and then get
rid of half of it.

Good luck. girls like his
     act and dudes who like those girls
fucking them like him.

NICE FIND. [deleted]
     September 7th. [I use
the internet. BAM.

I agree with them.
     But those were crap examples.
There's no music notes!!!!!

There's no music notes!!!!!
     Lame. Other way around, right
man in the wrong place.

They claim to be 'Fair
     and Balanced', an obvious
attempt to deceive.

When I asked him why,
     I never got a response.
The guy a nut job.

Like you I agree
     that without payment israel
will not live in peace.

If this cat is dumb
     enough to do this more than
once, let it stay there.

Boot into safe mode
     and delete the sound card from
device manager.

This is what happens
     when you completely ignore
all social context.

Then every single
     person I walk by I'll scream,
"HEY YOU, BATTLE NOW".

Believe me people
     wouldn't even be able
to agree on this.

You say what to do,
     then magically it happens,
what is the interim?

If you are upside
     down then you have no business
getting a new car.

At this point, tampons
     and disposable pads seem
far worse, in my mind.

I like it, but can
     you replace the clone trooper
with a storm trooper?

Though half the "indie"
     artists in the world DO try
to pull off that voice.

All the cheap stuff you
     buy initially can be
replaced over time.

The exact details
     may change a bit but that will
be the gist of it.

Too late for defence,
     All it teaches is a bad
lesson in revenge.

Bring to a boil, then
     turn down and simmer, stirring,
for a few minutes.

Because one hand is
     driving and the other hand
is flanking my steak!

Thanks! One of these days
     I'll get my butt out there. Well,
i guess you are right.

She was burned on her
     back as a child when she bumped
into a hot grill.

Sir, I don't know how
     to break it to you, but you
may be a redneck.

It made the next week
     or two kind of interesting.
do you live at school?

Yeah, turns out the First
     Amendment can't protect you
from angry sponsors.

Look at yourself, how
     long did it take you to learn
what you actually do?

It may not mean much
     in the way of man power,
but it does exist.

Well, if I wake up
     tomorrow and this is on
the front page, then yeah.

[deleted] This is
     really a time to involve
professional help.

IF you really don't
     want to do it, then make them
not want to ask you.

It's fear of elbows.
     Elbows disgust me. Yours, mine,
his, hers, whatever.

I'm with you. Why is
     this a picture of the same
guy from this OP's post?

And yet the compost
     was tested and found to be
riddled with the stuff.

The staff is friendly
     and the breakfast was the best
I had in Turkey.

Unfortunately,
     I'm allergic to gluten,
so I must abstain.

As long as you don't
     bring that shit into work it's
none of their business.

You'll keep the friends who
     really matter, because that's
just how it happens.

Inch n' a quarter.
     This is harder than it sounds
and damn good advice.

EVIL, MEET MY SWORD!
     SWORD, MEET EVIL!!!! [deleted]
Nope, not illegal.

Apologies, but
     I figure it's better than
right way up and not.

Statins (and even
     fluoride) are treating symptoms
and not the disease.

In reality,
     I could have knocked the bitch out.
I could have raped her.

Does the interview
     become a separate post or
is it added here?

This trait manifests
     itself in strange and often
hilarious ways.

To see amazing
     plays that you would never see
when you play the game.

I'm more curious
     as to what it actually is,
not what to call it.

I use a Vibrant
     and it came with it, so no
need to check further.

"My cat is on fire."?
     "I like eggplants."? "Would you like
to buy a jacket?"?

Couple of hundred
     dollars for the bonds people.
several days in jail.

how about taxing
     comments that suggest taxes?
Yeah. Crawfish. Okay.

Making friends would be
     the least of this kid's worries
in my opinion.

as loud as you can,
     and run to the nearest girl
for a surprise hug.

If you die your corpse
     is dead and everything you're
carrying is lost.

The thing is, I am
     not a particularly
attractive woman.

No, users would where
     I am from. That notation
is the standard here.

Which is exactly
     why it's such an important
topic to bring up.

Consider talking
     to someone-- a counselor,
or a support group.

Putting in a new
     sink is a pain in the rear
and it costs money.

Line of thought is you'll
     steal something or you'll allow
yourself to be bribed.

What response were you
     expecting out of me from
your tirade above?

As far as I can
     tell OP didn't dump him because
he was religious.

The question I have,
     is are you the only one
asked to do such things?

Weird but you might not
     realize subtle neurotic
behaviors you have.

And you'd turn them down
     and leave your fellow human
beings to suffer.

Perhaps if your friend
     is okay with it, you could
share what your friend says.

Made it to top ten.
     I was beast. Actually I don't
tolerate that shit.

in retrospect, it's
     surprising that they couldn't
do better than this.

hopefully they come
     back, take pictures of any
damage to their car.

THAT'LL SHOW HIM!!!! This.
     Call the police and have them
ticketed and towed.

I don't think he would
     survive in a city or
I'd have him come here.

Whenever its time
     for the last hit, of course you
need to make it count.

Am promised a call
     from the manager after
half an hour. No call.

We've known it would be
     happen for years, but no one's
done shit about it.

GOD DAMMIT. You came
     here to say exactly what
i came here to say.

[deleted] I still
     have not seen pain Olympics,
and I don't plan to.

REALLY? that stuff would
     make me lightheaded in lab
all the time.. Oh, please.

I am not, at all,
     trying to tell anybody
what combat is like.

There really is no
     reason for your pride to get
in the way of that.

Sarah Jessica
     Parker doesn't just work on
*Sex and the City*.

I find this one fares
     much better after a few
years in the cellar.

Lastly, get a cast
     iron skillet and learn how
to take care of it.

I'm predicting you
     were offended by someone
also in the Church.