Reddit Haikus

No, it's Donkey Punch.
     I don't see anything wrong
with "casual" gaming.

Mine is more or less
     the opposite, smallish market
town in the country.

I knew then" Houston..
     I have a problem. and Yes,
I live in Houston.

When they ask you if
     you are so and so they mean
the corporate fiction.

I prefer sleeping
     on my hair for it to look
as I want it to.

As noted, there will,
     no matter what you do, be
evil in the world.

We had a consent
     form letting the woman choose
if she wanted to.

I don't think there are
     good people or bad people.
There are just people.

What if that robber
     was robbing a grocery store
to feed his family.

Yeah, I got kinda
     worked up thinking about that.
Damn, I need some head.

Then again, I don't
     really trust the Syrian
government either.

Continued contact
     lengthens this phase, avoiding
contact shortens it.

Second, by watching
     Mullen play I taught myself
how to play the drums.

If he's a good friend,
     he won't hurt you even if
he does reject you.

Since it is timeless,
     it necessarily has
to be unchanging.

Do you mind a 30-45-min
     bus ride downtown or nearly
the same via car?

Just go with the flow,
     it'll either happen or not.
Life is short. Move on.

You make a line break
     Just by adding two spaces
To a line's (right) end.

Racist I don't know,
     what do you say when you are
being assaulted?

Fairly certain his
     story can be verified.
I mean, land is owned.

Be nice. Do unto
     others as you would like them
to do unto you.

How damn interesting
     would it be to trade places
for a week or two?

We are pliable.
     Love need not be a command
or faith a dictum.

Don't rush things! If she's
     making out with you that means
she likes you enough.

Just make out, have fun,
     get over the nervousness
part (from both parties).

Ah, apparently
     I *am* your dancing monkey.
(*and haiku addict.

ok It's not cool
     to make fun of those who are
without oxygen.

I mean I know there's
     Canada, but that's like our
retarded cousin.

YOU HAVE TO ASK?? Wow,
     your life must be really hard,
sorry about that.

What would it sound like
     while it is jammed up the guy
who brought it in's ass?

My friend Ryan is
     up from Melbourne for the week,
doing a guest spot.

i'm going to watch
     the great outdoors and uncle
buck now get a cat.

Are you serious?
     I think Move will be a big
success personally.

North Korea didn't hire
     Chinese actors to pretend
to support its team.

Now I've heard it all.
     Did Israel also create
Muslim Brotherhood?

The community
     you can form around it, like
any online game.

Most anger comes from
     seeing in others what you
despise in yourself.

Nothing. I don't want
     any words written on it.
I could work with that.

Damn. The only point
     to watching the Simpsons is
the old episodes!

I'll take one 'art', please!
     I had this as my desktop
picture for awhile.

Is that a shotgun
     in your pocket or you just
happy to read this?

That gets passed onto
     the taxpayer no matter
which way you slice it.

how would they know if
     you're alone, unless the whole
place was empty. Yes.

To them, it's Allah,
     or Krishna, or whoever
else they believe in.

Is. Gold. I second
     Ocean Man. It's a different
kind of high. Really?

Anyway, that's what
     I kind of just thought of off
the top of my head.

I'm in Toronto.
     I'll meet you halfway between
here and where you are.

I'll meet you halfway
     between here and where you are.
Exactly halfway.

I was not amused.
     I was joking He wouldn't
be the only one.

[deleted] My Life
     This made me laugh pretty hard.
Thanks. you can't really.

Really now, this is
     your opinion on what will
be the fall of Rome?

You really, really
     don't want this relationship
to end. It's painful.

Make sure you have time
     to hang out with your local
friends as well as him.

Actually looked worse than
     I expected. Impressive.
Divide and Conquer.

That urban legend
     creeps me the hell out. Ha ha!
*those...* No, it doesn't.

His radio is.
     Well, there is plenty of time
to go back to school.

Psychotherapy?
     Seriously... why not just
spend some time with him.

What if it doesn't
     subvert authority but
rather entrench it?

*edit* lol.
     I didn't think anyone would
have heard of the book...

If you are into
     sniping I can try and give
you hints for that too.

No worries, I'll flee
     the country or fake my death.
[deleted] oh god!

That stuff that tasted
     like Diet Coke concentrate?
Yeah. I enjoyed that.

Mostly cause it sits
     conveniently right up there
on my Favorites bar.

As in, they loose their
     excess weight upon the world
like the dogs of war.

"As a kid" is not
     really helpful when we don't
know how old you are.

I have great floor speed,
     but as I get passed my knees,
it really slows down.

At the state level,
     you can stop offshore drilling
(see California).

I used to go there
     all the time as a kid, but
never as an Ent.

Very unsettling
     thing to hear on a plane though,
I agree. Come on.

Zing! Were there any
     obstruction or resisting
arrest charges filed?

It's definitely
     possible to create two
robots that have sex.

I can't imagine
     living up there, it's even
worse than it is here.

(Pours gas on self, strikes
     match, jumps through window and lands
on car) Used to be.

Do you feel like you're
     going to die before you
take your week long break?

Hopefully some day,
     I can get over the fact
that I've lost a son.

I'm also rather
     disfigured due to my time
in Afghanistan.

Sweaty guy with shirt
     clinging to him, making his
fat show? Not so much.

Is that protecting
     the police, or protecting
everyone involved?

Frankenstein It's like
     that for me now everyday.
Same place. Same people.

Link up the Voice Search
     on the Androids to Wolfram
Alpha you'd be close.

I don't think I'd be
     able to watch this movie.
I have some pancakes.

This could probably go
     on indefinitely if
I wanted it to.

Don't remind me. Yeah,
     there's no way you were linking
to anything else.

How appropriate,
     you fight like a cow! edit:
see OP name. It's great.

I think once the new
     version of live sync comes out,
it will work okay.

It's like the authors
     want her to be a bitch, but
then stop half way through.

This sounds like desperate
     marketing for a crap game.
Now *that's* good karma.

Now *that's* good karma.
     Here's the first one.. if you like
I'll look at the rest.

If you're trying to be
     playful, you could use things like:
*"Wanna get naked?

There is another
     reality which is more
"real" or "authentic".

This is the only
     band in history who I wish
I liked their music.

I STILL haven't been
     able too and have been trying
over and over.

What's the difference You
     cannot decide not to earn
money (and still live).

It also lets you
     partial loop, so it's a bit
better in that sense.

This kind of shit makes
     someone work just hard enough
not to get fired.

Who does have the right
     authority according
to the ancient law?

Because they can walk
     places, or ride the bus or
subway and then walk.

Some shelters don't put
     the animal down any
more ring round and ask.

sigh [deleted] Oh,
     so, you have a pet project
that is better? Sweet!

He's trying to control
     your relationships while not
committing himself.

Only two of them,
     I believe. And another
one is Russian born.

Your point was not made.
     This is so inane I want
to call it a troll.

This is so inane
     I want to call it a troll.
But I like to play.

I have a very
     wide range of friends unlike most
people in Haiti.

My ex would have been
     close to the sound barrier,
she got dressed so fast.

maybe if i was
     about to kill someone id
bump this lol.

Earth's gravity is
     "1g" because it is the base
from which we measure.

I am conflicted.
     That was back when post numbers
where still visible...

That doesn't really
     apply to low speed objects
close to each other.

Also, talk about
     what you want to talk about...
you are paying, right?

walk over a hill.
     You are an hour from the Grand
Canyon in Flagstaff.

Did anybody
     else get really excited
and yell "FINALLY!!

Let her be the one
     to bring up sex, or you will
seem eager. Really?

It's such a solid
     movie, and much funnier
than I remembered.

All of the lyrics
     are available on their
[discography page.

I'm starting to get
     sketched about my peace sign on
my back window (not).

Check party supply
     stores Can you angel invest
in my student debt?

Fuck that. *goes to play
     something else* Are you buying
the cheap knock off brands?

I have been bested
     on this, a fine summer's eve.
You're the man now, dog.

Certainty about
     that which cannot be proven
is illogical.

Can you believe how
     high we are? Yeah, what the fuck!
That bitch... Cake or death?

For sure! I'll include
     some mix CDs for them, that's
always a great gift.

And if you use short
     controlled bursts you can even
aim at a distance.

So you have to ask
     yourself, what do you offer?
Are you fun? Clever?

If you don't offer
     anything, you won't have friends.
So here's my advice.

Can't stress this enough.
     Being supportive doesn't
mean nodding your head.

Is there a job where
     you could make half as much, but
be twice as happy?

**Beer Vendor:** Beer here!
     **Homer:** I'll take ten! I went
out with one last night!

It's easy enough
     to figure each other out
in the midst of things.

I've tried everything
     to move on, from therapy
to medication.

[deleted] Spitting
     is battery, not assault.
He's not into you.

[deleted] sounds like
     the SO part has already
answered your question.

This is what we're told
     to want, this is what people
have always wanted.

America, get
     the fuck outta there and stop
supporting Israel.

Your woman has one
     amazing ass, and a great
pair of legs to boot.

Lol. Are there
     special circumstances where
you'd consider it?

Are you serious?
     Are you serious? YES HE'S
SERIOUS. SHUT UP.

progress pictures are
     very motivational,
so keep them going.

Great, they found stupid
     people in a location
that contains people.

They went with cities
     because they wanted to move
the game to consoles.

Its impossible
     for me or you to know whats
really going on.

A similar thing
     happened to me on a flight
from Perth to Sydney.

was that your "get off
     my lawn!" move? Seriously.
Dan Quayle? Is that you?

I am high as hell
     right now, and this is the most
fun I've ever head.

I gotcha dude, loud
     and clear What am I supposed
to be looking at?

[deleted] Maybe
     you can't see it, because it's
several steps away.

Underweight is still
     unattractive relative
to being "in shape".

I hope you die soon.
     Obligatory "I'm friends
with a hot chick" post.

...No it's not. You're just
     trying to defend distorted
body images.

Women aren't oppressed
     *intensely*, just like I don't
play basketball *well*.

They look like porn stars.
     And worse, they ACT like porn stars.
Meaning they can't act.

Being possible
     to check is not the same thing
as having been checked.

That's what poor people
     do because they can't afford
any distractions.

Nope, I really don't
     want to give my employers
name away on here.

However, the first
     time Grandma walks past and asks
"Oh, is there Horse Pop?

I would have a hard
     time taking a desk job, that's
what winter is for.

This it the first time
     I've ever found her to be
*CUTE*! And I liked it!

I don't eat very
     much, likely not enough, due
to college budget.

Thanks for making me
     think about this (I don't mean
that sarcastically).

All the dumb little
     arrows going everywhere
makes a lot of sense.

I'm American
     and those are of no interest
to me. stays the same.

The trailer showed Space
     Marine, Chaos, and Orks. So,
I would assume so.

the sun jar charged up
     all day today and is now
glowing in the yard.

they are all jobless
     & cant afford expensive,
overpriced coffee.

It was unnerving
     until I realized that it's
good to have them there.

At one point my gun
     broke and me and my friends learned
to smash them with rocks.

I only hope there
     is a button that makes you
walk without rhythm.

LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!
     HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY!
LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!
     HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY!
LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!
     HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY!
LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!
     HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY!
LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

I don't remember
     what I was taught in the fifth
or sixth grade science.

Some crosswalks by me
     do NOT change to WALK unless
the button is pushed.

The human brain is
     loose enough to handle these
obstacles with ease.

I've actually often
     thought about reading Mein Kampf
to see for myself.

THIS. You are going
     to fuck up, own it, and own
getting back on track.

This makes me wonder
     if he even remembered
arbitrary day.

Then we threw at each
     other right before mom came
and yelled at us. Cool!

No, that's the arctic.
     You're thinking of when things are
really chaotic.

If you specify
     more of your interests, I can
suggest other things.

I didn't do it! God:
     Oh, I see, your actions are
clearly not your own.

Other than that, though,
     I don't experience too
much sexist bullshit.

I'm sure there's more things
     I'd do, but, I'm super stoned
and can't think no good.

You might want to go
     somewhere with a "scene" and watch
people interact.

Sun Tea! :D I hate
     to sound like a layman but,
isn't it random?

I'm getting the urge
     to watch that Daily Show clip
about him again.

Anecdotally,
     both men and women get screwed
over by divorce.

[deleted] HOLY
     FUCK HOW IS THIS LEGAL!!!.10!!! Yes...
and I am disturbed.

Was anybody
     else hoping to see the phone
actually do something?

Thanks. Sometimes I am
     amazed at how much I don't
know about this game.

If he's constantly
     doing something you don't like
don't hang out with him.

I had a buddy
     in high school who came to math
class every morning.

Yes! I have two cast
     iron frying pans, a wok,
and a dutch oven.

He must have been one
     hell of a goalie to keep
both sides from scoring.

You are all welcome.
     Christ, how the hell do you get
that kind of mana.

Does anyone know
     what kind of spider this is?
Location, Kansas.

[deleted] Any1
     scroll back down and up to see
if he reappeared?

I have a friend who
     will not get into his bed
until he has bathed.

I mean I'm fat (330lbs),
     but also pretty active.
I just eat a lot.

Yes, actually. Where do
     you think the rock from the holes
in the craters go?

Though, I know nothing
     about war, and respect what
you guys to no end.