Reddit Haikus

It's entirely
     possible Jim copied him.
A hot topic, eh?

[deleted] How do
     you say, "She's got an adams
apple" in chinese?

I cannot sit still
     due to my elevated
anxious mental state.

Then once this phase is
     over, then I say hello
to my uterus.

[deleted] If not
     for enjoyable discourse,
why would you be here?

That book has traveled
     with me everywhere, and still
sits on my bookshelf.

You don't realize it,
     but you suffer permanent
retinal damage.

I think that's probably
     because it's not as simple
as A causes B.

There have been cultures
     in which eating was treated
as sex is in ours.

Close enough, I guess.
     Because it works. If it's not
broken, don't fix it.

Example.... You can
     smoke on you front porch but you
can't smoke on the lawn???

Can I still get smashed
     and start fights with the locals?
Oh damn! That looks hot.

I live on the same
     street as the one Scotty lived
in in the movie.

Every time I try
     to listen to her her speech
becomes gibberish.

[deleted] Watch Cash
     Cab for a more equal look
at intelligence.

Dead hooker, with crack
     pipe in mouth, and something stuck
in her pooper. Thanks.

I guess that's my point.
     I've kind of lost where I was
going, at this point.

The difference: Fox News
     viewers watch the news that Fox
delivers to them.

It's just at the end
     now, so if you hop on you
can watch from the start.

They have correctly
     identified that we are
in a recession.

Had it right the first
     time A serial killer
MUST make use of that.

You need to read up
     on your nuclear physics.
Blood for the Blood God!

But at the same time,
     I can't help but vote it up...
Damn you... A shovel!

"Shall what is formed say
     to him who formed it, ***'Why did
you make me like this?

So we've established
     the "mortality", if you
will, of such beliefs.

OP: call a local
     mental health center or try
your school's student health.

Just put a hand up
     and sort of contest the shot
but don't let them drive.

They will likely pay
     you nothing, but you will be
able to eat well.

I will NEVER change
     who I am for anyone
else again. Never!

Since I figured out
     how to do that, I've only
had to buy yeast once.

adult jesus is
     defective and holes in his
arms and shit. Bobby!

It doesn't matter
     folks, whatever floats your boat.
It's just a title.

I knew what it was.
     Hell, you told me what it was.
Yet I still clicked it.

Yes, and it's VERY
     common in modern warfare
games for some reason.

And you'll never shit
     again, so you save money
on your water bill.

[deleted] The crowd
     applauded when he almost
put it in his mouth.

Ya, I'm saying you
     should never pull a beast no
matter what you do.

It's unproductive
     to assume that they are. Man.
That's TOO much Fish Oil.

The diversity
     in phones running android right
now is amazing.

Pour salt on slugs not
     ur eyes! cute lil bunny man!
Yes, but you forget.

Kind of a lame choice.
     You obviously haven't
tried hard enough. Sweats.

Don't you remember?
     You killed the companion cube
before the party.

That way if you fail,
     before total completion
you'll be better off.

England's bastard child
     is throwing a tantrum, deal
with it, like adults.

"They made the machines.
     That's what I'm trying to tell you.
Meat made the machines."

Meat made the machines."
     "That's ridiculous. How can
meat make a machine?

"That's the idea.
     That's the message they're sending
out by radio.

Finest quality
     bottom of the barrel horse
hockey known to man!

THE CAT WITH TWO HEADS!
     WHOA OH! THE CAT HEADS THE CAT
WITH TWO HEADS! WHOA OH!

WHOA OH! THE CAT HEADS
     THE CAT WITH TWO HEADS! WHOA OH!
THE CAT WITH TWO HEADS!

I wouldn't have thought
     that would help during sex, but
I'm no engineer.

If you are really
     worried, hire an attorney.
Are the 3x3 squares full?

I think most football
     fans will enjoying watching
the entire show.

You don't understand
     this data, or how to draw
conclusions from it.

Don't forget cookies,
     that's how they bring you to their
side in the first place.

Apparently yes!
     I didn't know of such a thing.
Diets are bullshit.

And it is pretty
     clearly communicated.
I beg to differ.

Fucking cuff her, throw
     he in the cruiser and get
the fuck out of there.

Well, we just broke up.
     OK. It's made by the same
exact company.

I have edited
     the comment you replied to,
to give more detail.

I end up drinking
     too much and not enjoying
the expensive beers.

Please elaborate on
     SA "Fan Treatment"? Did something
go down that I missed?

The bigger problem
     here is that you think you are
smarter than she is.

If you do things right,
     people won't be sure you've done
anything at all.

Hell, they even make
     TV shows. They volunteer
to judge science fairs.

I can't think of what
     else they can do to reach out
more to the public.

It almost feels like
     mother is running things by
using father's name.

He claims to be some
     state thing, but that most likely
is not really state.

My mom thought they were
     crazy and fortunately
never took interest.

I used to tell her
     she was really great and had
hopes for all those things.

I'd be so tempted
     to spy on people and try
getting their phone calls!

If you don't assume
     I'm an idiot, I won't
do the same to you.

I'd rather get paid
     trading than masturbating
with mathematics.

Anyways they served
     breakfast, and we all got toast
with eggs and bacon.

The accessory
     comes with the system, and most
games depend on it.

It literally burns
     skin off until you've taken
off enough layers.

Unfortunately
     I've never known anyone
who has had it done.

For boiled crawfish, try
     Acme. We all know Nelson's
dad is a tree. DAMN!

They are not showing
     up in my server browser...
Anyone else's?

I would like a sports
     almanac from the future.
You, sir, are correct.

You add whatever
     you can imagine, and themes
are pretty easy.

The list should include
     things you must have in order
to stay (the A list).

so you're a racist
     piece of shit, we already
knew that, mayo face.

Jesus fucking christ,
     just when I thought I couldn't
like her any more!

That sounds like it could
     have been the start of something
worse than a mugging...

I do it every
     day at work until I see
my cover sheet. It.

They won't motivate
     you, but everything will be
much, much funnier.

The original
     calendar had no impact
on society.

Not in the slightest.
     John Candy was a fat man.
Not a funny man.

Stuff is so tasty
     I can't help myself eating
excessively there.

Liberal is as close
     as you are going to get
to *left* in the US.

While we're on topic,
     anyone know where I can
find North Korea shirts?

like a huge pimple
     being popped or one of those
worms getting dragged out.

It literally felt
     like there was a hurricane
here an hour ago.

**Whale Biologist:**
     I don't know you well enough
to get into that.

Anyone that thinks
     different simply wasn't there
in the beginning.

And I know many
     people have a lot of long
term success with them.

It's not at all clear
     to me, for the same reason
I stated above.

I suspect the cop
     would lecture you for wasting
his time, however.

Imagine hiding
     behind the couch in a first
person shooter. Fun.

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
     [deleted] [deleted] Well
that was annoying.

Psychiatrists don't
     get paid more if they prescribe
you medication.

I should be able
     to open up my damn phone
if it's broken. Ugh.

Arcade Fire- Cold Wind
     Oh, God, you're killing me. Oh,
God, you're killing me!

It's a totally
     mystery, something that I've
always pondered on.

It's all in your head.
     It's all in your head. It's all
in your head. Chicken.

It's all in your head.
     It's all in your head. Chicken.
It's all in your head.

It's all in your head.
     Chicken. It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.

It's all in your head.
     It's all in your head. It's all
in your head. Bacon.

It's all in your head.
     It's all in your head. Bacon.
It's all in your head.

It's all in your head.
     Bacon. It's all in your head.
It's all in your head.

Repeating something
     that's so obviously wrong
doesn't make it right.

Actually, if those are
     your main things in life, they make
you pretty boring.

Then they starve to death
     because the oil killed all plant
and animal life.

Let us not forget
     Atlantis. Yeah, I would stick
with technical terms.

Hmmm.... things are alot
     stranger than most people are
willing to admit.

His name is Robert
     Paulson. Is that from like five
or six years ago?

[deleted] this is
     true for pretty much any
game demo I've seen.

Since he sold his soul
     to the corporations he's
got much nicer digs.

Maybe the guy is
     in denial and refuse
to accept his fate.

That is the best one
     I've ever heard. What I do
is ask for money.

I realize this may
     not be an entirely
rational reaction.

Make sure anything
     you listen to has a source
to back it up, too.

I feel terrible.
     I felt stupid when swinging
the sword in Zelda.

The cheapest section
     was sold out too when we walked
up to the window.

[deleted] If corn
     was asphalt Iowa would
be a parking lot.

But I'm not sure what
     the end game is if they can't
attach the implant.

The sword swinging, while
     not an improvement per se,
was easy enough.

You expose yourself
     to ALL angles otherwise
you are no different.

Yum! Actually they are
     capable of making our
world come crashing down.

Running on tracks through
     properties obtained via
eminent domain?

Are you in upper
     class areas and noticed
anything like this?

I find it extra
     ordinary that cops bust
people for this crap.

fuck them due, this is
     how you go from good to great.
These are people too.

This may be too soon
     to call, but i think this is
his best album yet.

I am so distressed
     that you or anyone else
has to go through this.

Sound great too (but I'm
     half deaf). Will. Never. Go. In.
The. Water. Again.

Legal sea food is
     also by the park and has
very good sea food.

So, rather than just
     insulting me, why don't you
answer my questions?

This type of thing can
     get you noticed, but perhaps
for the wrong reasons.

And I bet the shows
     we've played people just close their
ears when we go on.

And then the other
     side of the story got just
as much attention.

But spending money
     for spending money's sake is
completely INSANE.

Stay hydrated, try
     not to work out when it is
really hot outside.

I will keep hunting!
     loved fine arts, but still wanted
to make a living.

If you're bass player
     yourself you'll need an extra
pair of underwear.

This video has
     inspired me to take up
my lighter once more.

All this talk about
     writing made me go outside
and puff for a while.

A little windy
     but the sun is still shining.
Gotta unplug it.

You say you studied
     psychology, but you say
you didn't graduate.

One bad fall and those
     guys with the chinese chef knives
will castrate themselves.

Soros is talking
     his book, I'm gonna laugh when
he gets squeezed again.

His scheming at work
     is justified because he's
one of the "good" guys.

Sweetheart, if she blocked
     your phone number, she doesn't
want to hear from you.

Hughley show. I would
     love to see Olivia
Wilde as a villain.

Mushrooms will do that.
     Wow. There goes yet another
part of my childhood.

You deserve better.
     Ya! One day I hope to be
half as good as that.

Also it's probably
     necessary to better
define 'understand'.

So are you going
     to address the question, or
continue to dodge?

If it's not, what are
     you saying? I second this.
Contrast is your friend.

What would you do then?
     Try harder to ignore it?
There is no debate.

Its the vegans who
     don't do things like milk, eggs, fish,
cheese, etc.

Yes. Both shows feature
     humans who do and say things.
Exactly the same!

It's something they tell
     you to tell people when you
don't know what is wrong.

And many scientists
     study disease in humans
through studying dogs.

I recommended
     that for my bud when he was
feeling all depressed.

Perhaps, the problem
     is the legacy this game
has to live up to.

One time I also
     bit a cap, putting it on
one of my canines.

Sure it was a cool
     game, but there really isn't
much plot to be found.

You won't be bringing
     company for dinner, but
you will be alive.

At the end, we just
     looked at each other and raged
about the woman.

I had mint and sweet
     basil in pots but they fell
victim to aphids.

I felt like i was
     sleeping, but I was conscious
the entire time.

Thanks for posting that.
     I probably would've never
seen it otherwise.

Then where are the cop
     getting together to fight
the bad cops? Oh right.

Mine is on my right,
     his is on his left, so when
we hold hands they kiss.

If you want to rage
     against a religion, you
might look into that.

They are in their 60s
     and rock harder than many
people half their age.

They prevent global
     warming by blowing a cool
breeze over the earth.

The upgrades are there,
     but just not so compelling.
You have a good point.

if i was a girl
     and you made this for me, i'd
do you. go for this.

It's tough, yes. But you
     need to consider it like
any niche, really.

I sure hope you don't.
     They're going to find something
just as bad to do.

The Dark Tower Spain
     and Switzerland will probably
beat Honduras too.

I'd flip the fuck out
     if my parents let millions
die just to save me.

Instead they are taught
     the theories and practices
and told to use them.

Every time I plugged
     in the printer, it would try
to print a test sheet.

Food is cheap in North
     America, but junk food
is even cheaper.

This was about laws
     equaling morality,
where I disagree.

Live in Orleans, bus
     downtown to work at the cock
and lion on sparks.

but for what it does
     at the sheer speed it does it,
I'm sold That is good.

Does he think he knows
     better than the government
how to help people?

I'm not a lady,
     but I have something I'd like
to put between those.

Technologically,
     that's like plugging your keyboard
into your speakers.

The alternative
     would be to maybe give each
item different tags.

I love mine to bits.
     Can hardly believe it's on
the road to retro.

The fact that you say
     there are few experiments
is patently false.

Well, you can either
     keep talking or start writing
that constitution.

Can you add Mr.
     Burns to the picture? I think
your mind will be blown!

Its funny because
     men are simple and women
are complicated.

No, it's Donkey Punch.
     I don't see anything wrong
with "casual" gaming.