Reddit Haikus

The guy on the ground
     sees the light slowly moving
ahead of the ship.

Hmmm, well, anything
     within five miles of your new
job should be okay.

They do have rule books
     that need a night's reading by
themselves however!

"Greed" in Rand's context
     has a lot more meaning than
"I want better things."

She should eat normally,
     and as she gains normal weight
she'll get bigger boobs.

I think the robber
     did you a favor, now go
get a real laptop.

Good thing it's soccer
     than, maybe slow down once or
twice per day at most.

At least with Cosmo
     you get the whole library
with just one issue.

[deleted] Hi loud
     Howard. Your Mom doesn't care
if you kill yourself?

You evaluate
     whether your actions will hurt
others or help them.

What makes me mad is
     that it looks like the humans
actually hold their own.

You do remember,
     that one of the options is
shoes that tie themselves?

We'll see what happens.
     I saw this movie, it's called
Single White Female.

do you wish the script
     to run automatically,
or manually?

Huh? So what happens
     to people during the mad
cow scare here? Really?

You're rude. Also **its**
     right to call it art, not **it's**
right to call it art.

what that game really
     needed was a block button
in melee combat.

I feel like a dog
     waiting for you to scream **catch**!
You shall burn in HELL!

If not, I'll come back
     later when the excitement
has died down a bit.

Fuck! He's always claimed
     to a believer, so how
is this surprising?

If he's unwilling
     to do at least risk his own
life, what good is he?

Jobs teaching English
     require a bachelor's degree.
well, not surprising.

FUCK the national guard.
     Just WHOM are they protecting,
not the CITIZENS!

Tuesday, add some fresh
     lettuce, cheese and tortillas
and have burritos.

That's one example.
     Stage a major attack on
pharmacies and wait.

[deleted] I hope
     you were wearing an evil
smirk as you wrote this.

It costs them nothing
     to keep it in the market.
It's sour grapes, that's it.

Regardless of what
     anyone says, I've seen both
approaches work well.

Try to keep the disk
     space down, as I'm limited
in that, and bandwidth.

[deleted] Except,
     I can't charge them. I am not
the prosecutor.

Leave on a Friday,
     come back for work on Monday.
You won't regret it.

I wasn't even
     aware of the services
offered by the Dutch.

I'm sure he could find
     some land for a campus right
there in Nebraska.

Nah man, all you'd need
     is one computer running
to do that for you.

Even Data is
     referred to as Lieutenant
Commander sometimes.

dear girlfriend I know
     I can't buy you much but what
are materials?

Sure thing. Also let
     the people who look at them
call them what they want.

We are all stubborn;
     no one likes to be told what
to do and not do.

Next go to the job
     list of the dorf in question,
turn off ALL his jobs.

-Ayn Rand This was all
     well and good until the check
engine light came on.

It was a very
     very time consuming task
to learn and do right.

This is exactly
     why more government money
should go toward the arts.

I can choose to not
     think of something and instead
think of something else.

no way a person
     in a wheelchair can use those
with the given straw.

it's an OK game,
     and, like Alpha Protocol,
has a ton of bugs.

I was asking YOU
     "the reasons such pregnancies
were terminated."?

We can only hope...
     Speaking as a Scot, I don't
give a shit. Creepy!!!!!

I am not making
     this up, on replays it is
more than obvious.

MS paint can only
     get so much quality thanks.
I will. Interesting.

Yeah, I'm sure they made
     the law to protect us all
from flying bodies.

My feet land closely
     to the heels, but sort of roll
forward as I run.

If you like burgers,
     try making chicken burgers
or turkey burgers.

They are unconcerned
     with the purity or false
claims of the bottlers.

None of my business?
     Why not? Because it's your life
and your property?

They don't have to do
     anyone's "bidding" except
those with bigger guns.

No one remembers
     any of it the next "day"
and it all resets?

Is blocking a score
     is more of an achievement
than actually scoring?

The more you do per
     week, the longer runs you'll be
able to sustain.

*internet high five*
     Guy with amnesia battles
singing computer.

There was a Seinfeld
     episode with a fetus?
And I missed this how?

I honestly can't
     tell you, if you by nightlife
you mean the club scene.

QUIT MAKING MY RAGE
     SUBSIDE! Dance Masters guy gets
the Total Win though.

The puppy was now
     in safe hands at a local
animal shelter.

I mean my God, you
     replied to almost every
comment posted here.

sheeps hop, when they run..
     so i doubt its being thrown
off of anything..

Fan art is one thing,
     resumes for a possible
hire are another.

A realistic
     portrayal of the Penguin
makes a load of sense.

I'd probably get more
     sleep if I chucked the clock, but
then i'd lose my job.

Goodnight, sweet prince You
     just linked me to what we've been
debunking for months.

[deleted] You are
     responsible for keeping
your email secure.

Take your time, don't stress
     out or worry yourself on
technique or methods.

People throw this out
     there like it is an answer
to all arguments.

It's just as easy
     to blame these kids as it is
parents and teachers.

Or you live there, since
     eating chili is something
everyone does there.

Who said you shouldn't
     get on their backs for something
like that? Nobody.

But the way people
     in America play it,
it might as well be.

Kind of surprising.
     [deleted] god damn that is
one ugly carpet!

Photos clearly done
     at night or early morning
when noone is around.

Actually, no. Asshole?
     Sure Shithead? Definitely.
Morally bankrupt?

While we (Turkey) aren't
     there, somebody has to shock
the world in order.

maybe those things would
     taste better with a squeeze from
your spice weasel. BAM!

He just tried to block
     and kept saying "I didn't do
anything to you!

Oh my fuck this is
     one of the most impressive
things I've seen in years.

Are you that fucked up?
     Does proportionality
mean nothing to you?

We were discussing
     professional quality
window smashing, sir.

I predict that france
     will be eliminated
from the group stages.

Soccer is growing
     in popularity here,
albeit slowly.

would create a two
     headed never played this game.
is it any good?

Really, I don't know.
     It's always been typed, never
meant to be pronounced.

What puts YOU above
     every other potential
father in the world?

I'm definitely
     not going to throw this out
just because of this.

I like it a lot!
     Denmark is a fabulous
country to visit.

A primetime hour is
     worth at least four daytime or
early morning hours.

One of my friends took
     the time almost everyday
to offer a run.

[deleted] They look
     sort of like fans, but they are
actually wind turbines.

They tell me I was
     born there But I really don't
remember Fetch balls.

[deleted] faggot
     I audibly gasped. This sucks
Depends on their mood.

A small ticket, or
     you sign the ticket saying
you'll appear in court.

It wasn't shouting.
     It was more speaking loudly
in a monotone.

IMO it's better
     to write clean, readable code
than to write comments.

That is why English
     (and lots of others) are called
"living languages".

It's a "sixth sense" that's
     annoyed girlfriends for as long
as I remember.

That's one of the most
     damaging things you can do
to you vocal chords.

Often when people
     say common sense, what they mean
is reasoned thinking.

little caesar's is
     the easiest franchise i've
seen to get started.

Everyone, after
     transport, would think that they are
the original.

Thanks! Is there any
     way to customize which keys
perform which action?

Care to share the code?
     I do alot, and it bugs
the crap out of me.

By chance do you know
     which diseases CAN be cured
by drinking urine??

None of them are loud,
     even if you hold Einstein's
or Hawkins' resume.

If the shows aren't aimed
     at you then why would they care
if you're not watching?

Not implicitly.
     He challenges the greenhouse
effect in his post.

If he is wrong on
     this point, then his overall
message is damaged.

Birds will either die
     from hypothermia or
oil toxicity.

I finally caved
     and saw it whilst attempting
to get some pussy.

Yeah, imagine if
     people could get where they want
whenever they want.

Outside of a vet,
     there really isn't much more
you can do than that.

I mean awesome dream.
     But that looks like if you were
on an acid trip.

THE. MASH!" Actually he's
     right, Scarborough and North York
pretty much suck ass.

Sometimes the bad calls
     go with you, sometimes they go
against you. That's life.

i don't want to post
     any spoilers, but i loved
the sage mode barrage.

DETROIT????? great! Then, would
     you say you're a pessimist,
or an optimist?

Worthless I'm not sure
     that the "dual mount" widget is
actually safe to use.

It was kinda like
     he was offering up champagne
to a meatloaf crowd.

The soccer mom trying
     to act like she's an Oprah
clone is beating Zach?

A Demolition
     derby game, like actual pit
style demo game Text.

That would make sense where
     good public transport systems
are available.

I have seen nothing
     to verify this aside
from speculation.

Why the fuck are you
     in Canada if you want
to live like your not?

Link? Could of, should of,
     would of U can be biased
and open minded.

It's different if you're
     singing, or skipping tracks, or
talking on the phone.

I'd like to know *which*,
     in the dark, without fumbling
around like a fool.

My ashes will then
     be kept by whomsoever
I made the bet with.

[deleted] Either
     "It's only a flesh wound" or
"I'm getting better."

That way it would get
     taken down for the whole world,
not just Australia.

Good luck. [deleted]
     I love this President, he's
doing a great job.

Most companies would
     rather rent office space then
purchase office space.

Still think it's a bit
     too much though, but damn, tastes good.
YELLOW SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

Thanks. Great ideas.
     Thanks! Oh, that's great. I'm Korean,
that was so funny.

=P [deleted] Can
     someone explain to me how
this is a bad thing?

Seems like a good way
     to insure the creditor
will never get paid.

His shirt is plastered
     to his skin, his head is back,
eyes shut, mouth open.

I know. But you can't
     cry about every paper
cut to your partner.

If you do this. BAD!
     BAD HUMAN! DO YOU SEE THAT!
DID YOU DO THAT?! BAD!

BAD HUMAN! DO YOU
     SEE THAT! DID YOU DO THAT?! BAD!
GET IN YOUR CAGE! BAD!

Nope. Looks familiar,
     but I don't know who he is.
Nice, I'll check that out.

If you make a bold
     claim, expect someone to want
to argue with you.

Where music? Grandma,
     when it's ready, could you just
shove it in my mouth?

The article said
     "The biggest strides are taken
by the 100m runners.

Is this considered
     part of your salary? yes.
Why is this so hard?

That is the first day
     where real negotiations
become possible.

A couple people
     sitting on laps, one girl lies
on top of their laps.

I'd wager you do,
     too, on account of the fact
that you're a person.

I can't afford that."
     Hi, I'm Mr. Tibbs. You may
call me Mr. Tibbs.

I'm pretty fucking
     awesome, and if you're lucky
you can be my friend.

That is not going
     to stop some corrupt cop who
hates the look of you.

Bums on strike? Who am
     I gonna trip over when
I go to Walmart?

He's certainly got
     the prosper going for him.
A bacon grenade.

As fast as the last
     ten years just went by, the next
ten will do the same.

Good stuff. [deleted]
     I'd love to. Too bad I'm not
popular on 4Chan.

I admit to not
     knowing about North Coast or
Anderson Valley.

Tell me how many
     people are too many, then
maybe I'll listen.

As is obvious
     the switch to democracy
did nothing for them.

Oh, lots of reasons.
     Money, for one. But I think
you got this all wrong.

We had a party
     for her birthday and his cat
still didn't give a fuck.

If you are lucky,
     that person is still alive
and teaching somewhere.

I bought one for me
     and my girl friend, she was not
amused lol.

I agree, the current
     model works very well, that's
all I was saying.

He's making a point
     about the "ladies" comment.
I don't like soccer.

Some day very soon,
     Life's little Twinkie gauge is
gonna go... empty.

Any suggestions?
     [deleted] She love England
but she's probably French.

It looks like they've fixed
     the biggest error I can
remember since then.

I've had one guy quit
     because it was freaking him
out so much. Victory.

good for him, but i'm
     pretty sure he said he would
do this years ago.

They should have focused
     on Heimer and his turrets
would have died with him.

I am also all
     for couples spicing things up
and playing with toys.

He does not protect
     only the rich and wealthy.
It makes no difference.

I was totally
     taking advantage of him
in his weakened state.

Open version will
     come at about the same time
as Apple's version.

Don't most companies
     refresh a product about
once a year? Great guide!

Mediocre sounds
     are outweighed by a decent
music video.

Local radio
     station tries to be edgy
to get more listeners.

Drink tons of water.
     Keep taking the whey protein.
Take your vitamins.

Just bringing the costs
     into reality would
make a big difference.

Could not have hit her
     very hard, cause that did not
slow her down a bit.

It's needlessly cruel
     and immature without good
reasons to do so.

I prepared for years
     by never watching soccer.
[deleted] $Pixar.

Plus have met many
     other murderers over
the years. Not sure why.

I should have pointed
     that out instead of being
so general. Sorry.

The kids went to school
     again and the person had
to pay more money.

"If you don't like it,
     you can just get out" to quote
South Park's take on it.

That makes sense. well you
     might be interested to know
i'm not a woman.

If none of that makes
     sense, I'm saying the nuts should
keep your wheel in place.

There is no punchline
     in the video, it's just
borderline Pam porn.

I "don't like" smoking.
     Can anything good be said
about cigarettes?

are you saying you
     don't really have a tattoo
you just made it up?

He crashed on the couch,
     the next morning he was gone.
No big deal I thought.

Once parts are smaller
     the sensors will be able
to get bigger too.

And you would be knocked
     unconscious and probably mauled
to death by that deer.

Jim's still in my back
     yard walking around, like he's
looking for something.

It's entirely
     possible Jim copied him.
A hot topic, eh?