Reddit Haikus

Fuck them. Did a new
     redneck computer class just
start up or something?

A random stranger?
     Not so much. That's how you know
you're doing it right.

well, and be careful
     not to snap the branches when
putting the wires on.

They just need to know
     if you want to contribute
taxes to a church.

Come to think of it,
     I don't really even need
the fish. Or the chips.

That's right! Thanks, I can't
     remember those funny words.
I wouldn't do it.

They are already
     lobbying the government
on issues aren't they?

I just hate dealing
     with the anxiety when
I cease the purging.

If I take the time
     to shoot smoke at them, why not
just shoot them instead?

This is amazing.
     A work of art. That's fucking
storytelling, man.

The cop reacted
     in an aggressive manner
which he shouldn't have.

as a book to read?
     or a source of ideas?
It's like religion.

Guess I just wasn't
     that thrilled with this episode.
Awesome performance!

There are good doctors,
     but there are doctors that will
lie to save themselves.

I think you should try
     to watch out for others trying
this in the future.

I just started last
     weekend and am halfway through
the second season.

Each of you says what
     your ideal frequency is.
Meet in the middle.

Shocking he doesn't
     know what it feels like to not
have health insurance.

It's not like the new
     trend is having your zipper
down with your nuts out.

remember, you're not
     the only couple having
the exact same fight!

They want to sell you
     their universe of neat tools
that work together.

People define "left"
     and "right" to whatever suits
their personal view.

You are still counting
     on people to do what they're
told and be honest.

Do you think sickness
     in your stomach could be caused
by anxiety?

Almost every bag
     has something you can clip stuff
to on the outside.

Also, I've found there
     really isn't such a thing
as no strings attached.

Edit: *not playing*
     [deleted] Seeding is not
the issue on what.

I think it is based
     more on the interviews than
whats on your resume.

I know what you mean.
     It hurts a lot that I lack
in that department.

My favorite windows
     media player function,
"resume last play list."

The old lady has
     lived there a long time, maybe
even from the 1930s.

Please find me a graph
     correlating the concealed
gun laws with gun crime.

In the short run, tell
     the groom about the letter
in front of the bride.

I wish I could go
     back and undo all the 'help'
I put my son through.

And it's fun! Now we've
     founded our own cool kids club!
I'm curious, why?

That can lead to wet
     spots, certainly stuff that gets
on the comforter.

I'm thankful she still
     has a job but that isn't
exactly progress.

I'm in canada,
     and it would have been cheaper
to buy in the US.

You're going to die
     and there are things you will want
to do before that.

Not witnessed. The day
     after the event occurred
I found the blood trail.

Not my cup of tea.
     I respect em and work on
my friends quite a bit.

You married? Single?
     Employed? A Student? Vagrant?
Hitchhiker? Hippie?

You obviously
     know the comic well so I'm
thrilled that you approve!

The message is "if
     you show him a good time, I'll
shoot the hostage." God.

Gambling, even if
     just for bragging rights is what
makes this tourney great.

Just a thought. **Don't cheat**
     I think you're lost, 4chan is five
tubes down on the left.

They will also pay
     for counseling for Chris during
the transition. Yep.

It is slow as shit.
     It is a dog. It does not
give memory back.

This may or may not
     include negs, it varies from
person to person.

The only problem
     I is that that's a pretty
expensive habit.

Perhaps I just don't
     want to be with anyone
unless they're perfect.

He might have messed up
     bad, but you have to do what
you can to help him.

[deleted] And hey,
     there is never anything
wrong with a nice smile.

You know you want to.
     Slippery slope arguments are
always valid, right?

WHAT THE FUCK??? can't wait
     to see what glenn has to say
about this bullshit.

oh yea! Best answer!
     [](/troll) I dunno, but the Pope
should know what to do.

Yeah, those first cookies
     have enough poison to take
out an elephant.

I'm not as concerned,
     anymore, about cost, or
even the source code.

But no, it can't pick
     up if the files have been changed
outside of Coda.

I am just really
     really bored talking about
this topic with you.

He hasn't used them
     to attack people, but he's
used other objects.

It's reassuring
     to hear that you had a good
experience there.

Age has no values.
     You could be talking about
weeks for all I know!

Have you been spending
     time doing other things than
spending time with her?

A few weeks later,
     I repeated the process,
and the colors matched.

Then the second source
     would only be recording
every other frame.

It does, however,
     make something beautiful look
like a pile of shit.

During college (or
     during college age), do NOT
have a credit card.

I now use right click
     instead of left and use one
click to open stuff.

(EDIT: Nevermind,
     after a few tries it works)
Great game otherwise.

A girl that was on
     my pool team, she got WASTED
one night, and drove home.

I agree he should
     be punished to the fullest
extent of the law.

This is the killer
     app that will slowly make v6
the standard. Well said.

What form it will take
     I do not know, but I doubt
that it will end well.

I think atheism
     is actually *caused* by those things,
not the cause of them.

I love how he can
     be informal, while others
see this as weakness.

Yes, like the bogus
     terms "reverse racism" or
"reverse sexism."

Go play your fancy
     new games, I'll be enjoy 8-bit
goodness at its best!

You'd think that the man
     responsible would have learnt
after the first one.

Looks like a very
     good summary of modern
views, thanks for the link.

I am expecting
     force lightening at any
moment from this guy.

I worked at a book
     store that was across the street
from a used book store.

And it's not the stunt
     itself I take issue with.
The stunt is awesome.

True, it's difficult
     to see pants or anything
else while wearing those.

What's the absolute
     worst beer you've ever tasted?
What made it so bad?

What made it so bad?
     And while we're at it, why is
Miller your favorite?

that's what this chart shows,
     but it doesn't prevent you
from thinking further.

Everybody get
     story straight until at least
after the wedding.

If not for the Feds,
     these guys would still be shooting
beer cans in the woods.

It's entirely
     possible that this is what
is happening to you.

They're trying to be all
     cool and hip, but I like K-9
just the way he is.

Got any other
     terrible arguments you
want to swing by me?

And like the book, I'm
     sure I'll be asleep fifteen
minutes into it.

He was expecting
     worse because he could really
feel them in his ex.

Bring back Oregon
     Trail and have an Oregon
Trail Lan party night.

You should hit up our
     show on Friday, we're dropping
some fresh shit right now.

Thanks, apple. No he's
     saying lots of fat chicks go
to Burger King. too.

It's obviously
     not criminal (literally)
but it's retarded.

I just don't see how
     you can be pressured to drink
more than you want to.

Not an either or.
     More like a neither. I will
be getting a car.

If he can't do that,
     then he's the one who should move
on, not his patients.

Luckily for us,
     the allies feared the Nazis
and took care of it.

i hung it from some
     exposed piping on my roof
(loft). give it some thought.

I was getting points
     for giving ammo, fixing
tanks, providing health.

Sadly, the building
     codes aren't geared to requiring
this kind of building.

Almost like "I smoke
     weed, I know what the good stuff
smells like, yeah uh!" Yes.

Hey dude, just wanted
     to uh... kinda point out that..
you're kind of a dick.

I'd go for it. Who?
     They're all AWFUL. I'm kidding,
they do look nice though.

The bailouts should not
     be overlooked and neither
should the costs of wars.

Remember, I don't
     get the extra space unless
you join *and* install!

Just because you might
     not be good at it, doesn't
mean you gotta hate.

I have considered
     making a coffee table
with a piece of glass.

If I can come up
     with anything, I'll be back
to post ideas.

If I can come up
     with anything, I'll be back
to post ideas.

Keep proving him wrong.
     It may never work, but it's
the best you can do.

Every time? Have you
     read the Vatican's response?
Did you read this one?

Yes, he has a right
     to say it and nobody
is disputing that.

It never ceases
     to amaze me that people
don't recognize this.

That whole area
     is beautiful, especially
if it's sunny out.

A little blonde ho
     finds a dog and says "ooh.. Look.
A sign." "Hey baby.

God knows I to teach
     myself to look at people
as they are speaking.

This article just
     sounds closed minded, pretentious,
and fanatical.

The lack of knowledge
     is something that should never
be celebrated.

and we're supporting
     terrorists if we donate
to the other side.

He wasn't turning
     away anyone who came
into his office.

Don't fight it. One day
     you'll have the courage to tell
your friends and family.

You don't think that its
     going to make them hate you
or something do you?

She wasn't making
     threats of anything until
the police got there.

Obama says "Don't
     do that any more" and it's
promise kept. So.... why?

people like you are
     more of problem than any
sort of solution.

Kind of like how you
     pass judgment on cops you don't
know or haven't met?

If I was standing
     next to John Goodman, I don't
think I could have peed.

Not yet, but I will.
     [deleted] In other words,
we may see conflict.

Perhaps if it grabbed
     the largest instead it might
be more effective.

If that let to sex,
     well then, sex would have been had.
Give each other space.

Everything else is
     superfluous and made solely
to entertain kids.

I know that knowing
     you can have it worse might now
make you feel better.

It all depends on
     who you're stocking the bar for.
What do your friends drink?

I don't know why, but
     I do know its a very
unwelcome image.

Please buy some decent
     Scotch whisky. Get the best you
can afford. That's true.

Really its your life,
     whatever makes you happy.
Just tell them straight up.

Think how efficient
     dating and job interviews
would be: "What's your name?

Bring it on. Wake them
     up by whispering in their
ear and jerking off.

So I think there are
     some moral truths, but only
very simple ones.

But the stuff you do
     manage to see and do will
be pretty damn cool.

If you have to by
     two airplane seats you really
are a fucking douche.

I moved from distance
     to middle distance because
I liked going fast.

At least they didn't try
     to get Asia that place is
the HARDEST to hold.

For those of you who
     don't know what Eastenders is,
you lucky bastards.

But to clarify
     my point, I was talking more
about ignoring.

Every so often,
     I hear something that makes me
glad my dad is dead.

Dude get a life like
     you know anything about
what is going on.

Overall I can't
     see any reason to switch
to anything else.

I wish Opera was
     FOSS, so I could take a look
at their new system.

Hang in there at least
     for a while longer and try
and work her through this.

I talk to other
     smokers about it nonstop
but not nonsmokers.

I feel like the law
     should specifically mention
that situation.

This is the first time
     you have even acknowledged
my use of the term.

I wanna know why
     i have acquaintances who
call themselves "Marxist".

Grow up. I'm saying
     we need a government like
Norway, or Sweden.

I really don't know
     what to expect, but it sounds
like a lot of fun.

Yeah explain the risk
     and leave it to me to choose
what I want to do.

i don't like makeup
     on a female and i can't
stand fake hair color.

[deleted] those x58
     boards are great when you see all
the extra features.

They wanted to keep
     the night going, so we went
to another bar.

At that point in our
     new relationship, nothing
had really happened.

[deleted] You can't
     eat all those hamburgers, you
ridiculous man!

Check out whats happening
     in Great Briton ever since
the handgun ban there.

Ranger Dan and his
     big dog dick **Or** Ranger Dan
and his big dog, Dick.

How old were you when
     you were first told to believe
in a deity?

I don't know if it's
     better to work towards having
more parties or less.

I always see stuff
     like this but I'm skeptical
to believe it's true.

I woke up the next
     day and drove around looking
for her, but no luck.

Does he pester you
     when you're on the phone, watching
TV, or reading?

Three months of weekend
     duty is what my father
deemed appropriate.

Several months ago
     some guy downtown was yelling
at me, "Hey blondie!

Man, you kids. That book
     was published the year my son
was born. I feel old.

But once you actually
     consider _reality_,
you realize they aren't.

No one is going
     kill people on the other
side of earth for free.

Things won't change until
     you start actively seeking
to improve yourself.

I will keep my eyes
     open for that addition.
Thanks again! Awesome.

A lot of people
     frown upon this but if its
needed its needed.

this is so messed up
     and awesome at the same time
No and No, sorry!

What if someone was
     shot in the back of the head,
without them knowing?

Are there any Jews
     reading this who can shed some
light on the matter?

She's an idiot.
     Therefore all conservatives
are just like Palin.

If you've seen any,
     its quite low and not very
likely exploitive.

should have learned to spawn
     bust [deleted] [deleted]
Naw, you don't get it.

And that accent you've
     tried so desperately to shed?
Pure West Virginia.

they can only search
     the premises listed if
that person skips bail.

Granted I wasn't
     asexual but my sex
drive was pretty low.

this sounds like nonsense,
     but I tried it at work once
and it worked. Who knew.

It's hard for a lay
     person to consistently
find stuff of this type.

Shit. That's what happens
     when you don't have a job or
pay for your own shit.

You don't know what death
     is like and you don't know what
before life was like.

I have tons of great
     ideas when I'm high but
I'm not telling you!

That's awesome. I bet
     some plates were definitely
sent back after that.

I had a neighbor
     that would bang on the ceiling
if the floorboards creaked.

What part of "I Hate
     Sony And Nintendo" do
you not understand?

Yellow Submarine?!
     I am officially pumped.
PLUS IT'S KINDA FUN!

Not hide the warrant
     and wait for the next "bigger
crime" to come along.