Reddit Haikus

Alligator pit
     below which has metal spikes
coming from the ground.

Cut it equally
     in half, right down the middle.
Do you have less pie?

They all say there is
     "good reasons" for what they do,
if you think like them.

If this is normal
     for you then this is normal
for you. exactly.

People actually still
     do pitch games to production
companies these days.

The proverbial
     fan is completely covered
in fecal matter.

again, what'd you
     expect an aluminum
siding ad? fuck you.

But after looking
     at it closely, we believe
we did nothing wrong.

I would hope one's life
     isn't made more interesting
by drinking soda.

International
     laws are more of gentleman's
agreements than laws.

Most of the science
     teachers I have had were trying
to teach me science.

Probably, but sitting
     on it for one more turn would
have won him that game.

I can't help but feel
     that this is what should have been
done in the first place.

People throw the word
     fascist around too much when
talking politics.

The mother backed out
     at the last second, letting
the state take her kids.

Yeah, this picture has
     been my desktop background since
yesterday morning.

Black vulture attacks
     women, turkey attacks men
(if given the chance).

The color option
     is just for color behind
the picture and fonts.

It would coincide
     with actually being able
to use it nicely.

How the hell can you
     punish a corporation
with higher taxes?

Was this illegal
     because Congress didn't declare
ware on Arkansas?

How is a stripper
     in any way contrary
to "family values"?

.....the last thing you want
     to tell someone who just got
raped is what to do.

Your million dollar
     missile can kill innocent
woman and children.

The armadillo
     (the little armored one) has
had many nicknames.

Their experience
     with Scientology was
pretty interesting.

Oh well. So instead,
     I'll just tell you how things went
with my wife and I.

You can make *any*
     band look like shit lyricists
using that technique.

[deleted] Complete
     mastery over matter,
energy and space.

after a falling
     out for a year we are trying
to be friends again.

She might be insane,
     or vapid and vain, or just
not that into you.

Dump him and move on
     before he really hurts you,
which he will in time.

They skipped the battle.
     THEY SKIPPED THE BATTLE. What is
this, syndication??

It's about this guy
     that checks into this really
modern hospital.

xerox means paper?
     i always figured it just
meant photocopy...

you cannot argue
     against billy madison
and happy gilmore.

I'm surprised big name
     cable stations don't pull stunts
like this more often.

If the good are lumped
     in with the bad then prices
will rise everywhere.

You know, Jay Leno
     isn't the only person
that works on his show.

I like that. Where are
     the Moon Pies and delicious
Hostess cakes? Gandhi.

Is there anything
     similar available
on the market now?

My point was that they've
     been in style as long as I've
been alive. Well duh.

All Ms has to do
     is to pay the license fee
and they can have it.

I'd never really
     gone to parties in high school,
so I didn't drink much.

In that case, I think
     conservatives have a huge
lead over liberals.

Have you ever lived
     in Texas or even been
here for that matter?

Take it personally;
     I'm sure you're a pretentious
asshole everywhere.

Approaching zero...
     I didn't find it hard at all.
A lot of eye strain?

True story: an ex
     and I found a dog once back
in the college days.

That's what we called him.
     Called the next morning prior
to dropping him off.

Called the next morning
     prior to dropping him off.
Learned his name too... Bob.

Even if you're right
     and consciousness is somehow
evidence for God.

Otherwise, they would
     have more serious problems.
Thanks for sharing that.

I'm confused. You want
     to download the videos
so you can stream them?

Nor do most people
     grasp the concept of global
inflation on debt.

They have classes on
     things like how to fill out forms
and etc.

Well any cheap car
     amp would probably do the trick
if you want it small.

Australia should stop
     shipping metals to China.
See how they like it.

Consider yourselves
     lucky, your suffering only
lasted one season.

The fact that you think
     you are special for pointing
this out, means nothing.

I would imagine
     that they would try to make you
take the laptop out.

It's little things like
     that which can perk you up when
you least expect it.

i prefer perky
     breasts and a small but shapely,
firm and muscled ass.

And this is why, well
     partially why, Misty is dead
my friends. it's alright.

I would also like
     to wish you good luck with this.
Keep us all posted.

Practice helps. Can you
     post a link to the routine?
I've never heard it.

**Spoiler** Yea he is
     soo bad ass, but what about
now that he is shot?

He and his guests can
     be themselves and blatantly
honest, which I love.

You: But I'm unarmed!
     Cop: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Cop: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! :reload: Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! :reload: Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
:reload: Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! :reload:
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! :reload: Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! :reload: Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! :reload: Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! :reload: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     :reload: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! :reload:
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! :reload: Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! :reload: Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

:reload: Bang! Bang! Bang!
     Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
     name it Tail so it's tail can
never wag the dog.

whole situation
     seems kinda gay Suicide
is Painless, of course.

You have invested
     well, learning Chinese will help
you in the long run.

ONE gene in a fruit
     fly has representation
that is HUGE for it.

I didn't find Brave New
     World all that depressing. Good,
but not depressing.

Well. Ok. You can
     just stop there. Real context please.
Art installation?

You sir, need to learn
     what happens when a bullet
impacts a body.

Do you have any
     idea what bad, leftist
cliche you sound like?

Maybe if you talked
     to the pastor they could do
something similar?

Unfortunately
     I don't live there anymore,
I live in LA now.

YOU DID THIS. Own it.
     She said she doesn't hate you.
That will come in time.

And on TV all
     the people at high schools looked
like grown up adults.

I want Conan on
     Fox. I don't want him to tame
down in any way.

You should probably lie
     down a spell and not listen
to rap anymore.

I do, which is why
     I asked. Well, you don't actually
have to explain it.

Thus, I am confused
     as to what the abstract is
saying exactly.

I'm really looking
     forward to reading this book.
powdered toast man rules.

powdered toast man rules.
     that book was horrible, "god
bless the butterflies!".

Don't listen to him,
     OP. She would have robbed you first
and then eaten you.

One of my friends went
     to live there and really did
not like it at all.

From the reaction,
     you would have thought I was from
another planet!

That means, if I want
     something, I usually go
about getting it.

If anybody
     has any ideas please
feel free to link me!

rhythm games have been
     done to death, but this looks fresh
and original...

Forms in triplicate
     if we get a new bird or
release an old one.

Oil and gas and high
     tech are two entirely
different animals.

the hair on my scalp,
     face and nether regions are
all different colors.

[deleted] I was
     totally with this until
the rotating thing.

I would be happy
     to suggest places to eat
or things to check out.

From what I've found, those
     who *aren't* simply haven't sat
down and thought it through.

This whole "doing shit
     for a year" thing has gotten
out of fucking hand.

There is someone out
     there that has similar tastes
as you, regardless.

The last time he went
     to a show though, he did get
backstage and all that.

Finished? I agree!
     Somehow I don't think that'll
be productive though.

You need to find out
     which one she is. Good luck, sir.
Please don't kill yourself.

It was a nice drive.
     I wish I had a nicer
car to do it in!

Our driver's name was
     Stanley, one of the nicest
guys I've ever met.

That's a self service.
     A public service would be
for him to fuck off.

[deleted] Oh shit,
     I'd better tune in next week
to see what happens!

i'm single now but
     i've never had a problem
with it in the past.

I just can't STAND it.
     Did taking it twice help you
get a better score?

Don't agree. We're not
     talking cutting edge server
or gaming box here.

~A MI resident
     Why is there just gibberish
all over the page?

I was drinking too
     much Hawaiian punch (I think
mostly the blue one).

parts of Washington
     and more northern oregon.
Its incredible!

The Jordanian
     monarchy can go shove it.
I agree (sort of).

That's not what I heard,
     just ask all the alter boys.
I did this as well.

If you fuck something
     up might as well it not be
important to lose.

I know this is hard
     to hear but this woman did
you a huge favor.

during your downtime
     i would recommend reading
the book "Born to Run".

Most of her songs are
     in English, but that Middle
Eastern sound is there.

apropos linux
     [deleted] You guys are booked
out of Milwaukee?

Ah!! That is probably
     the sickest looking graphic
I have seen in there.

It's easy to gush
     over them but that's really
at the core of it.

I kept hearing how
     great he was on Saturday
Night Live and all that.

I haven't noticed
     the dishonest pint problem
around the Midwest.

[deleted] Only
     one real choice here and Jay didn't
act on it in time.

They wouldn't even
     need to land, just shoot it from
the helicopter!

I've been raped. I know
     how terrible the trauma
and recovery are.

There are various
     gray areas concerning
tips and the law though.

They work very well
     in the wet, although they do
wear a bit quicker.

You're a good woman.
     Yeah, being a captain is
about leadership.

Cunt punt her. It'll hurt
     like hell unless she got steel
for a vagina.

Oh don't you worry.
     Question, would you rather be
right, or have your friend?

Then, if you girlfriend
     initiates it, let her
share you on her terms.

Arena, new mode
     that lets you just set up fights
and let it happen.

[deleted] The church
     should not be compensated
by way of the state.

I'm an idiot.
     I thought the links above would
just start you at 8G.

Do you think someone
     who had a glass of wine should
be able to drive?

As time progresses,
     the text will slowly recede
into the distance.

It would simply clear
     out its settings, and does not
require root access.

Swanky, delicious.
     Good choice, sir. [deleted] Then
some bitch stole my bike!!!!

The banks no longer
     serve us, the economy
serves the banks. No way.

And frankly I don't
     like this one. That's not trolling.
That's an opinion.

Neither of those things
     are acceptable reasons
for him to stay there.

At first, I wasn't
     gonna read this, but i am
very glad I did.

Why buy the cow when
     you can get the milk for free?
I know how you feel.

It would be *really*
     cool to go somewhere where there's
less light pollution.

I don't use a towel,
     I run around in the street
naked and air dry.

[deleted] What is
     "in his best interest" isn't
always what he wants.

It's reality.
     Look it up yourself (as you're
so fond of saying).

I apparently
     read this entirely wrong
on the first pass through.

what if nobody
     gives a fuck about what you
have to say? really?

Check the tides and take
     the kids to Medicine beach
or Mortimer spit.

I, personally, would
     take him at his word and find
another doctor.

If you have more fat
     under your skin it will not
be as prevalent.

And balloons. I've heard
     there are ways to reproduce
oneself without rape.

Any Size Beverage
     Did you think he was rolling
outta here naked?

you can't make sweeping
     generalizations about
all relationships.

The current climate is
     worse than it was when McVeigh
bombed Oklahoma.

Who is John Stewart?
     I'll ask you the same question
I asked another.

It's not about who
     is dominant in this new
"era of tablets".

It should also be
     noted that people here can't
(in general) buy guns.

[deleted] oh is
     that why he has a hood on?
wow nice work Einstein.

Just because she claims
     that she made this clear to him
doesn't make it so.

What do you think? [PIC]
     Wow, that's awesome, I didn't know
this was from a game.

Israel gave the West
     Bank to them, and what happened?
There STILL isn't peace.

There's lots of human
     wreckage lying on the road
home from the threesome.

The gesture is nice,
     but like 'select unit, pinch
unit' for a game.

Brand matters. why are
     iowans killing people
in afghanistan?

If you need a car
     when you're there anyway, no,
there's not cheaper way.

It's now or never.
     You need to get out of here
while you're still single.

I got a wife, kids.
     Do I seem like a happy
guy to you, Frankie?

Everything you want
     to try is not worth losing
what you have described.

God dammit! What am
     I supposed to do with all
this vinegar now?!

Sad. My cubicle
     has one minus one windows
to the outside world.

Hi. I'm Richard H
     Candidate, and I promise
to be tough on crime.

Damn April Fools Day,
     I would totally have bought
one of those cassettes.

You mean management?
     That encompasses a great
many industries.

It provokes the fight
     or flight response so it should
be a last resort.

And that's important
     functionality I would
not want to give up.

I came here because
     I knew someone like you would
do the math for me.

[deleted] I didn't
     know mom bought a camcorder.
That means Spring is here!

It is branded stuff.
     It's always gonna cost more
than regular stuff.

If this works out, when
     you get to Florida, you
can buy me a beer.

Good times involving
     CoD, partying, and jager
are sure to ensue.

That may be the most
     offensive AND funniest
thing I've ever seen.

Fuck them. Did a new
     redneck computer class just
start up or something?