Reddit Haikus

1st degree! This is
     that probability thing
all over again.

200-level course that was
     harder than all of the 400s
I've taken since then.

you just had a whole
     little conversation all
by yourself. creepy.

Its a king. You can
     tell by the way the whole tail
is covered in spots.

What a twist! tell me
     where i can find one of those
stickers and i will.

I sob at the sad
     parts, and I sob even more
at the happy parts.

It lasts for three years
     Interesting, I don't think I've
heard of it before.

It's an intense three
     months, but at the end you'll look
and feel fantastic.

I want you to go
     to the nearest McDonald's
and eat ten Big Macs.

I saw Herman pour
     himself some chili, and walk
toward my hot sauces.

Not a novelty
     account and beautifully timed.
Bravo. What the hell?

Hit scripts (those with good
     buzz, that start a bidding war)
can fetch 250K and up.

Maybe he should go
     find someone *fun* to play with.
No, seriously.

Once you had cider
     my friends you will never go
back to drinking beer.

I would miss that flight
     in a heartbeat and just be
pissed at the sitter.

Down's (and other worse
     conditions) and brain damage
are vastly different.

Slowly, but surely.
     world at war single player
wasn't amazing.

Australia. so who
     were you balls deep in and who
did the comes cum on?

Eventually i'd
     like to be sterilized once
I can afford it.

Their forums are filled
     with the moans and cries of its
ignored user base.

People know it can
     be beat with skill, and people
all think they have skill.

Maybe speed is what
     you need! See Also: The Todd.
"did you see her boobs?"

Because the "separate
     but equal" model has shown
to be a bad thing.

What do you think is
     the evolutionary
advantage of that?

Most people get their
     morals and values from their
community first.

I'm not a body
     builder, but I do work out
several times a week.

I had a really
     hard time reconciling *that*
sentence in my head.

I feel lame. I can
     work customer service or
client relations.

lol, I wish
     I was unemployed sometimes
for the same reason.

The habit started
     after he ate the cue ball
from the pool table.

Thank you so much, I'm
     sick of having to see clips
from their bullshit site.

Men oppress women.
     Men also oppress men by
oppressing women.

Nice read. Ruby seems
     like an interesting language,
I'd like to learn it.

I think I'll just start
     using this randomly when
people are watching.

I'd be curious
     to know if anyone else
uses this method.

However, I don't
     think our contemporaries
care about such "gods".

i can also surf
     full web pages that i need
to see on the road.

He sounded so much
     smarter than the Fox retard
interviewing him.

[deleted] i came
     here wanting to know the same
thing about this game.

I am pretty sure
     the word wo3 (I) is pronounced
like A in Shanghai.

It seemed that I didn't
     have to give any effort
to pass, so I didn't.

If you don't sleep too
     well it might because you are
stuck in a cycle.

Although, the big thing
     I imagine coming from
this are trainer games.

Unfortunately,
     the metaphor is not quite
compelling enough.

(Sorry for being
     off topic, didn't actually read
the article.) Wow.

Clearly Texas gain
     even more power within
the surviving US.

It was because you
     were making the other kids
in your class jealous.

Get them both and then
     whichever one you don't like
you can send to me.

They may not care what
     I think or say, so I speak
with my bank account.

use dolphin browser
     Like you said, it was space, not
time, I was saving.

Then you're either bad
     at math or bad at being
socially inept.

Anyone could be
     using this excuse to get
out of a ticket.

Healthy people get
     hospitalized with the flu
every single year.

on mac it just works.
     and it lets me print even
when there's no ink left.

The worst thing about
     Ethiopian food is
the gas the next day.

Even though the room
     is clean they never drop their
hands down to their sides.

Am I really dead?
     Dead?" Anyway, I won't bore
you any further.

[deleted] Damn right
     you will. Better recognize.
[deleted] Who cares?

Jones was entitled
     to a jury of his peers,
and now he'll get it.

And I honestly
     am sorry to have wasted
your valuable time.

In many SWAT raids,
     they enter without knocking
or yelling police.

Blister pack packers?
     Whatever. Screw blister packs,
that's all I'm saying.

No legit business
     owner would risk his future
on breaking the rules.

It just makes you feel
     real friendly, and you know That's
where it's at... Please don't.

Touche. [deleted] mum
     i'm going to go change nouns
into verbs! Okay.

[deleted] Chappelle
     approved That is totally
my new wallpaper.

The last truck was fine
     as it was a baby boom
and we kept rolling.

However, we did
     usually find and destroy
more than we were hit.

Hammer a nail, put
     in a screw, measure and cut
wood, etc.

Eventually just
     showing him the collar will
get him to shut up.

These people are not
     rooted in reality.
I need a fox now!!

Apologies if
     I'm misunderstanding what
you're wanting to do.

Women and men look
     at their life, and they say, 'What
does my family need?

Hopefully your wife
     is Presbyterian, or
maybe Lutheran.

I'm sure my wife would
     leave me if I did that How
much truth is in this?

Being an artist
     to me the film is no more
then visual fluff.

The same thing happens.
     I will get a few extra
beats in there at times.

Have you guys actually
     ever figured out who leaked
& sold Pandora?

*sigh* I still want both
     conch and rook, but I think it's
just not meant to be.

That way I can shift
     between "songs I know I like"
and "variety".

I'd like to believe
     you, but do you have any
evidence for this?

They're probably testing
     the hardware drivers needed
for the new 2.x OS.

Um. No. It isn't
     any sort of annoyance.
I have severe ADD.

if everyone acts
     like they're above the law, then
the law is pointless.

He said we'd always
     picture him when we do that,
and he's right, dammit.

That's a good attempt.
     Just as the government told
you to do online.

I can't believe I'm
     saying this, but I agree
with THE EDGE on this.

[deleted] If you
     are gay or a woman, yes.
Otherwise, I'll pass.

Junk meaning mostly
     Clifton and Orchard Mesa.
Don't ever move here!

One other guy gets
     on and sits in the same row
as me in the van.

We get to a gas
     station where the other van
is waiting for me.

Open the letter
     to find a long written love
note to me from him.

It can take a while.
     Faction and assault frigates
make it easier.

Does anyone fail
     to realize that we are not
at war with Iraq?

I absolutely
     refuse to get that service
or any like it.

A little girl is
     found hiding in ducts and stuff,
from the aliens.

[deleted] Well then
     this is just ridiculous.
Thanks for posting that.

I despise Jenny
     McCarthy, but the food thing
does have *some* effect.

I don't see any
     place where John Yoo is 'destroyed'.
[deleted] It's fox.

There is only one
     country named Nederland, there
are not multiple...

"Pot had helped, and booze;
     maybe a little blow when
you could afford it.

Subsequent searches
     and posts on these sites will yield
valuable results.

He looked at me like
     I was nuts and asked me what
AIM was. I was shocked.

Ditto Kosovo.
     What's that? Oh right, just let him
have his stupid joke.

What basic cooking
     techniques would you say that most
people should master?

Come to think of it,
     nothing is embarrassing,
it's always funny.

Because the consoles
     have horrible adventure
and strategy games.

[deleted] I've had
     guys buy me a drink on four
or five occasions.

I think the games we've
     seen were playoff games and might
have been a bit old.

But they would have had
     to go in a completely
different direction.

Besides, I think it's
     easier to "relapse" when
you quit cold turkey.

The Bolivar has
     been devalued, so imports
will increase in price.

I seriously
     watched that movie for the first
time ever last night.

[deleted] That was
     pretty good but not as good
as the treadmill one.

There also happens
     to be a lot of water
in vegetables too.

Dear Prudence No, dude,
     it was suicide by cop,
so it doesn't count.

Would Heineken be
     as popular as it is
if it were broken?

It entirely
     depends on how much you want
to see the person.

The 10th Circle
     I believe. Please provide some
concrete examples.

forget the terms-- if
     two people of legal age
want to fuck, who cares?

I told him to fuck
     himself and he finally
broke down and helped me.

I was in the same
     place, i worked out, but never
saw any results.

Some people just grow
     up never doing any
cooking for themselves.

But, for the last month
     before the exams I would
wake up and throw up.

She's just a parent
     that happens to have a lot
bigger stage than most.

[deleted] Windows
     is just an operating
system with a name.

Rape isn't about
     wanting sex and not being
able to get it.

Everything else is
     just leading up to this one
simple desire.

National sovereignty?
     It's scary how blinding love
can be, isn't it?

The bowls are colored
     using four different colors,
each bowl one color.

Plague is found fairly
     regularly in Southern
California, too.

According to him,
     many famous people like
Dan Severn are gay.

I stopped. completely.
     Just stopped drinking it and switched
to mostly water.

Miami and Los
     Angeles have wicked Drum
& Bass events too.

You may think "then let
     the bastard find other girls
on the internet".

YOU ARE BRAINWASHED SHEEP
     WHO ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID
TO THINK FOR YOURSELVES.

[deleted] I guess
     the next time it happens, just
get up and walk out.

Hey, at least he's cool
     enough to wear a Santa
outfit on Christmas.

Pirates always had
     to fight so sometimes they lost
their eyes, hence the patch.

I'm a busy guy
     who knows how to use the gas
pedal when needed.

EDIT: And then there's
     "Kill Yourself in Cape May" by
David E. Williams.

How is it different
     from other drugs doctors are
able to prescribe?

Drawing is about
     more about seeing than what
your hands are doing.

If I had to guess,
     it was probably between two
and five months ago.

I'll just go ahead
     and edit that comment now..
aw, what did he say?

I own a shotgun
     that I use for skeet shooting
and hunting pheasants.

Canadian beer.
     i call you up a thousand
fifteen twenty times.

They both kill people.
     They both make shit up. They both
invent enemies.

nothing much, except
     hope for a good year this year.
I made all the charts.

Don't do it. If you
     think you write like Thompson, let
*others* point that out.

No re Just because
     more people are wrong than right,
doesn't make them right.

I also wasn't
     arguing that it was or
wasn't brainwashing.

I don't know what made
     my parents pick the Jarrod
spelling of my name.

I seriously
     worry about the people
that frequent this site.

Although that doesn't
     mean you can't learn from it some
way or another.

This is what I did.
     People were always amazed
with me as a kid.

Your failed to include
     the link to the story you
were trying to reference.

beta books also
     give insight into the book
publishing process.

That especially helps
     when someone coughs and sneezes
on me on a bus.

Those are awesome, but
     I've never heard good things on
their build quality.

It's one of the things
     we have in our platform, is
to talk about it.

Damn hard tho when you
     love a girl (I fall in love
so easily). Thanks!

Just because you call
     yourself divinely ordained
doesn't make you Jews.

No, that's OR. An or
     is a long wooden stick used
to paddle a boat.

What are you finding
     to be super depressing
about them? Before?

I'm glad they rerun
     old episodes time to time
on random stations.

Necessary though.
     I tried to eat one alive,
but it didn't like that.

I don't know if she'd
     be better off without me.
that's not what I meant.

Big mistake! What would
     be better propaganda
for those idiots?

I'm pretty jealous
     but I don't know if I should
address this. You should.

It's a dirt simple
     job and that's why they're never
short on candidates.

I agree, or may
     be it just fit perfectly
with the article.

But then the ceiling
     fell and they were trapped and not
able to kill. "No!

It's nice to see some
     people have integrity
and cannot be bought.

The amount of time
     required to track them all down
just isn't worth it.

I'M A MONSTER I'd
     use the scotch rocks in soda.
Awesome idea.

I never, ever
     want to hear those words uttered
again in my life.

He said he trusts me
     too much to care, which makes me
feel pretty guilty.

Those executed
     were executed based on
ex post facto law.

Now get another
     paper clip and repeat on
the other nostril.

A seizure would be
     counterproductive and you'll
have to start again.

These are usual
     smaller and lighter if you
aren't squirrel hunting.

I could go on, but
     I am sure at this point you
realize the mistake.

I heard a story
     this morning that made me glad
I never started.

Yes most people who
     want free health care are dirt bags
and just plain lazy!

Yes you do. You just
     don't like what everyone else
in your district wants.

It's not meant to be
     used to provide evidence
at a later date.

patiently I can't
     put my penis on it, but
evil is afoot.

for a video
     show that i could have seen on
the internet free.

Hippos lived in tents.
     Ditto. Medium Brown hair,
light brown and red beard.

Best of luck to ya
     (even though it sounds like you've
got it in the bag).

remind everyone
     before you take drugs that you
are a control freak.

Good article but
     I'm confused by one point: "But
**bad news** abounds, too.

This is supported
     by what your professor said.
And I stand by it.

*You* have to turn off
     your ego and actually read
what I'm trying to say.

i am planning on
     working in the industry
for someone else first.

Can someone explain
     the crappy compression on
this picture for me?

Thanks! I think it's time
     that this rap master questions
his career choices.

Oh wait.. Well, now you
     can do whatever you want.
don't be so obtuse.

If the damn thing is
     real this not what I expect
from a deity.

Fool. Learn how to fix
     stuff in your house, like plumbing
or electrical.