Reddit Haikus

Fool. Learn how to fix
     stuff in your house, like plumbing
or electrical.

I happen to fit
     that bill, so I guess that is
what caused it for me.

Hardly, the private
     club law was repealed last year,
and was a state law.

[deleted] Who is
     Richard Alpert? And where did
the Others come from?

I tried contacting
     the credit card companies,
but they did not care.

You never know who
     you are dealing with or how
crazy they may be.

If you make them feel
     threatened and they are armed you
may find yourself dead.

Then turn back to her,
     rip off your shirt and yell, "Hulk
Angry!" You just did.

The more you can add
     to your account, the faster
the bills are paid off.

When we had kids, his
     grandmother didn't lose her shit.
Cons? Taxes cost more.

That's because us geeks
     have a love relationship
with our computers.

You professors or
     department chair should have some
ideas for you.

Something need doing?
     Well that depends what you mean
by take advantage?

Austin is great, but
     there is one thing you should be
informed of. Cedar.

Seriously, you
     don't need a thousand dollar
espresso machine.

Hopefully one day
     you can say you built your own
house from the ground up.

Then these same people
     get upset when the pills do
not make them happy.

That's my position.
     So what exactly were you
arguing against?

But that doesn't mean
     there can't be a fair two state
solution today.

Take it out. Go on,
     take it out and take a good
look at it. Oh my.

You would think they would
     have picked up the phone and called
someone or something.

Do you really need
     to write your name all over
everything in site.

The USA will
     never turn off the weapons
and money supply.

Remember that thing
     about sharing we all learned
in kindergarten?

More proof of putting
     Obama in anything
gets first page status.

Clearly the person
     who took that crappy photo
was drunk on said wine.

It's less a difference
     in desire then on how
we act upon it.

Few companies can
     get away with that and not
be bankrupt by now.

Either way, it just
     makes good business sense to keep
what they have for now.

A bunch of people
     helped create a media
scare to make money?

This particular
     picture is from the World Bank
Photo collection.

"False pandemic" would
     mean we thought it was global
when it's really not.

Personally, I went
     cold turkey and I think it's
working out better.

He definitely
     laughs a lot but not really
about jokes and such.

I have fairly dark
     brown hair on top but my goat
is really light blonde.

I deduced that from
     your desire to have sex
with Jackie Tyler.

A pedestrian
     is more fragile and slower
than a vehicle.

you go there, you read
     books meant for lots of people
to read, and you leave.

So I end with this:
     I did not say that drugs helps
with your homework, No.

They wouldn't do these
     things unless they know they could
get away with it.

If I try to do
     something which she cannot do,
she will tell me "No".

On what basis do
     you claim this to be the case?
You just assumed it.

Again, you simply
     assumed that people *will* find
more productive work.

Uncle Sam: I'll give
     myself billions in interest
on the loans I made!

Say no when you need
     to and when you do it make
sure you enforce it.

Also, with my son
     I don't require him to look
at me when I talk.

President Clinton?
     I hear ya but I think you
missed a word in there.

I just couldn't eat
     breakfast or take a shower
before the exam.

Someone kicked in his
     back door, barged into his child's
bedroom, and got shot.

I find if I think
     about this and squint it is
all pretty er, clear.

Came here to say this.
     I grew up just east of San
Diego proper.

In a day trip you
     can go to the beach, mountains,
desert, river, lake.

If it's yours, or if
     you've got your own profile on
the system, start there.

No, the whole point is
     to have a marriage that works,
or not get married.

Get her into some
     simple games over steam, like
Plants vs. Zombies.

And why shouldn't it?
     The Onion is a better
source of news than FOX.

Get a sim, then just
     get a Pod and boom trainer
and go to a club.

I'm not sure I would
     like to pay tax either if
I lived in the US.

At some point they had
     the option to stop and chose
not to. Someone died.

And for that matter,
     who's to say that the burglars
wouldn't have come back?

Don't enable her.
     Treat her like a competent,
**capable** adult.

Is this under hard
     acceleration shifting
from first to second?

Loves me some bluegrass.
     I'll see what I can knock up.
Are you not reading?

Simple, but keeps me
     listening to all kinds of stuff
in my library.

Vaccinations are
     big in the US for the same
reasons pills are big.

We can't just assume
     that lobbyist groups have our
best interests in mind.

Why is this any
     different that the "Terror Watch
Level" color codes?

It doesn't even
     need to be scrubbed no matter
how dirty it is.

Geez, Shoot, Darn It!, Aw
     HECK!, Shawshank Redemption, Glenn
Beck yes, it is cool!

And most people aren't
     ready to deal with that fact.
Cool story, brother.

it's evolved into
     such ridiculous extremes
these days, like most things.

So you're telling me
     the writer of the headline
could have been a guy?

Your original
     tip is, I think a good one
to play around with.

Get a nice business
     card, have a portfolio,
and be consistent.

It wouldn't. The `++a`
     will increment `a` before
the whole expression.

Actually, it is, but
     we were hiding it from you.
You figured us out.

Regardless, it HAS
     to be cheaper than what you
were paying before.

Put yourself in her
     shoes, and you would likely be
doing the same thing.

My parents never
     really talked about their life
back on the island.

If not, go for it!
     I saw him with Tomahawk
opening for Tool.

Though had the troll face
     been issued to the fatty,
I wouldn't object.

You on the other
     hand, already have the fat,
but not the muscle.

She has no reason
     to lie. Believe me or not.
I don't care either.

Bullshit. Even if
     you didn't support one, you can
campaign *against* one.

We... we were *lied* to?
     [deleted] Who knew pencil
could turn me on. Right.

If you ever kill
     anyone I love while you're
drunk, I will kill you.

I lived one second
     with them and it was the worst
second of my life.

Like we've established,
     he doesn't sound like he needs
mood elevation.

Same here, brown hair, but
     my goatee is brown, black, red,
and sadly now gray.

It is possible
     that free will does not exist.
I clicked on the map.

I bet its pretty
     big, I hope she was worth it,
says the polar bear.

Why do stories like
     this always quote police chiefs
and law enforcement?

I'm sure there's many
     reason but, generally, do
you know why is this?

It is the best thing
     and hardest thing in my life.
Most rewarding thing.

People tell you there's
     something wrong with you and you
start to believe it.

It's even worse if
     you have two screens with different
pixel densities.

Like you wouldn't want
     your laptop stolen with all
your school work on it.

Notice. Everything.
     Awesome. He is an outside
dog for the most part.

She was panhandling,
     people were mostly walking
by ignoring her.

Sheesh... why, I couldn't
     even i won a pony!?!?!
[deleted] really?

"It's just not working"
     is reflective of you, not
the relationship.

Was it raytheon?
     Some chemical factory?
I cannot recall.

It's hard to stay true
     to a change in diet since
you still have to eat.

I'll look into it.
     I didn't realize how few games
I've actually beaten.

This is a skill me
     and my friends really worked on
to attain as kids.

Anal sex wins here.
     So, vaginal or anal?
There's no clear winner.

"High Exposure" might
     work well, it's both descriptive
and a climbing term.

I personally don't
     like to be around guys who
can't function as guys.

Now if I could just
     get my hand to quit shaking
while holding these 0402s.

They would not have been
     standing around with candles
singing peace on earth.

Jam your hands into
     the hole and feel around till
you find your stomach.

Adultery is
     not a crime, nor life threatening.
how do you do that?

[deleted] Someone
     bought a Nexus One from me
from Slovakia.

I wasn't sold on
     the subtitle, I just feel
that it would need one.

You're telling me you
     can judge their motivations
for suppressing this?

I guess it's ok
     that the thug was beating on
the homeowner, right?

Also, what law am
     I breaking that will land me
in a prison cell?

And this explains why
     I've never seen a stable
Windows Mobile app.

Karen speculates
     on how their birthday parties
will play out. Good fun!

Jim Cramer was right
     when he said "Housing bubble?
What housing bubble?

Maybe he really
     is some old crazy guy who
makes sick beats. FUCK YOU.

I don't mean someone
     that simply couldn't afford
to pay tuition.

It was free to some
     (by no means all) people who
received the vaccine.

A game can be made
     to be fun to play over
and over again.

This is exactly
     the kind of information
I was hoping for.

either way I feel
     like I diminish something
by explaining it.

It's a slippery slope.
     Thank you for your honesty
and sincerity.

But how can I get
     my head around it, if there's
nothing outside it???

Bye. My beard us red
     around my cheeks and jaws, not
so much on the chin.

They can technically
     refuse, but they never do.
It's pretty evil.

[deleted] Beauty
     is in the eye of the beer
holder Exactly.

The classes are set
     by the DEA, which is controlled
by the President.

It is currently
     not giving a shit what you
fucking pet looks like.

Fundamentalist
     Christianity would come
under that as well.

It's a pretty sweet
     game, after all, and you'd be
missing out on it.

I had my fully
     grown hyper religious step
mother ask me that.

And for breakfast you'd
     probably have to sit outside
for a while! Awesome!

Adobe Premier
     is pretty easy to work
with, but costs money.

And how would I find
     one in wherever I end
up living next year?

Reality is
     that socialism cannot,
and never has, worked.

You want everyone
     but the individual
to solve their problems.

Favorite song to play
     is usually the newest
song I'm working on.

Wanna come over
     here and make something of it?
[deleted] Winners.

Study a martial
     art if you want to be more
focussed and intent.

Someone else? And why
     does it have to be all on
the National level.

I honestly don't
     know what the result would be
if they were to merge.

It sounds like that might
     be something you'd like and it's
how I got my start.

I ask her "Why not?"
     She replies "You can't feed him."
I say "I'll feed him!"

It's a shame they stopped
     making The Simpsons after
the 8th season.

For a brief moment
     there, I completely forgot
I was left handed.

I think I see me
     in one of the ones taken
from behind the stage.

[deleted] I used
     to work at a nursing home
similar to yours.

NOTE: Never ever
     boot normally until all scans
have been completed.

The phrase "should have gone"
     implies that it clearly *didn't*
go through Paris, IL.

Then again, I'm from
     Oak Ridge. They never let us
out for anything.

how are you gonna
     regulate how much money
goes where? Very cool.

thanks for your response.
     i agree, he's in no way
anything special.

I was holding out
     for a performance major
to respond to this.

Last time I tried it,
     it just lasted and lasted
all day. Just one pill.

As long as they can
     outrun the bullets, they are
free to carry on.

It's already just
     barely running on older
iOS devices.

Why? Valve does not care
     and no one on the forums
can do anything.

Hell, in some states it's
     legal for collectors to call
neighbors of debtors.

I know folks who like
     to go back to be interned
at state hospitals.

Banis in unknown
     I was just there for Christmas,
visiting family.

See what I did there?
     I can make presumptions on
your intentions too!

Did you know that you
     could say "it's" instead and save
yourself some keystrokes?

First off... People don't
     stay overweight when they eat
proper proportions.

The kids honestly
     don't need all that attention.
They can bathe themselves.

There will be hardship
     and difficulty and times
that try your patience.

"Love is a choice" is
     so true, but I don't wanna
talk just about love.

Seriously though....
     I'd love to get a lawyers
perspective on this.

As for Jay, I do
     like him but I think it's time
to throw in the towel.

I'm pretty sure no
     one gives a fuck about what
the Vatican thinks.

[deleted] No shit.
     My life flashed before my eyes
for a second there.

You're proving my point
     by the way. Size *does* matter.
Too big is bad, right?

Sometimes she doesn't
     even bother to get up
when I get home now.

Sorry I shouldn't
     try to browse and post during
busy days at work.

Ever get your hands
     on black or white truffles? what?
Virginia, baby!

Perhaps draw a view
     from over the shoulder, or
from slightly above.

Women certainly
     DO reject men based on height,
more often than not.

Sometime between now
     and the end of existence.
Maybe. NEXT QUESTION!

Little things? Big things?
     Things that don't matter? Is there
some sort of pattern?

Seeing a kit you
     want is unbearable, but
that sounds cool to have.

But my computer
     hesitates before making
tough decisions too.

South Florida is
     sort of half Cubans and half
decaying old Jews.

I just want to prance
     about in the jungle too.
It's an illusion.

Fair enough. What are
     some of your favorite restaurants
in the area?

What does it taste like?
     I have some news for you. You...
might want to sit down.

Boyer and Fletcher?
     Important if you're going
to be an Archer.

Will no longer be
     able to keep a straight face
when I tag along.

Pizza Pizza is
     pretty bad (unless it's fresh
from inside the store).

You're welcome to not
     read anything related
to my post, of course.

There are great picnic
     areas available
here among the rocks.

Plus, I hate Jared
     since eating subs to lose weight
is a dumb concept.

I'm not sure I would
     like to pay tax either if
I lived in the US.

Graphic improvements
     in their current form are reaching
the end of the line.

you just have to try
     to explain to her that her
brother is different.

Toll free phone support
     and full warranty on all
o2 sensor parts. Ah.

My week goes like this:
     Weekdays: Work from about 6AM
to about 3PM.

One of these things just
     doesn't belong* Oh, and it's
Family Guy. You're right!