Reddit Haikus

It looks like the cone
     is wide enough that he should
be able to eat.

God damn it! Thank you
     for answering our questions,
and for your patience.

Being insulted?
     Having to deal with this mess
in the first instance?

I believe that if
     we get out of people's way,
the sky's the limit.

Shame! Get off your duff,
     wipe the jelly off your shirt
and DO YOUR DAMN JOB.

Asshole. It was just
     the first word that came to mind,
but I'll stick with it.

When you carry MORE
     WEIGHT, you PAY MORE. I carry
LESS WEIGHT and PAY MORE.

You can use black cloth
     for the ceiling and painted
cardboard for the floor.

Chester.. This is how
     you tell if someone has no
taste whatsoever.

His name is Robert
     Paulson. It works really well?
Do you have a link?

Instant Win Women?
     I think those girls can barely
be called teenagers.

The heat. Everything.
     Everything except rolling.
I love rolling joints.

Berlusconi planned
     to go there and "give the keys"
to the new owner.

I am the exact
     same way, so I understand
where you're coming from.

And when you compete
     with something vastly smarter
than yourself, you lose.

Today's my birthday,
     and I suddenly feel much
better about it.

That's stupid. A site
     that restricted and useless
will never catch on*.

Couldn't be much worse
     than the game... [deleted] Thanks!
Citizen's arrest.

I suspect you're just
     lying, and you'll find a weak
excuse not to. Thanks.

That's right! All cops are
     bad and only want power
and money and... Ugh.

Wait... he'd go down on
     someone who is on the rag
if they *are* dating?

Though to be fair, all
     superpower countries are
evil in some way.

pm me if you
     have any questions, and i'll
be happy to help.

It could be better
     written, but it hits the nail
firmly on the head.

[deleted] Just cause
     we think it's funny doesn't
mean we think it's true.

I have it as well.
     Friend gave it to me. Still has
some balance issues.

This just increases
     my difficulty under
the circumstances.

DA PLANE! I heard most
     NASCAR fans are closet gays,
do you like NASCAR?

I think I actually
     see more dogs, wolves, and rabbits
than foxes, actually.

Thus the old joke, "Why
     is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it."

Who is "we," Shylock?
     Working hours are whatever
you want them to be.

Israel was under
     constant missile attacks, but
noone spoke about it.

System B hasn't
     finished its work on object
O. This leads to fail.

THey have zombie mod,
     soccer mod, etc.
Very addicting.

I've been wondering
     why I do it, I knew there
was a good reason!

Maybe I'm stupid,
     but I don't understand what
you're trying to do here.

Israel was under
     constant missile attacks, but
noone spoke about it.

Then either put them
     in a different order or
add the gap yourself.

What triggers smoking?
     I find these to be very
important questions.

I left the wallets
     she doesn't go anywhere
with her the wallet.

Am I wrong. maybe,
     but if it doesn't work out,
out well. such is life.

No taxation is
     welcome but there are mainly
good reasons for it.

Modest Mouse- We Were
     Dead Before the Ship Even
Sank well, that was weird.

We are a tad more
     sophisticated up here
:P YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Success manual
     for beginner and expert
drug dealers alike.

It's lovely to be
     in a place where they actually
appreciate us.

Secondly, treatment
     costs money, regardless how
bad the problem is.

His body of work
     has become an important
portrait of our time.

"The Lord of the Rings:
     The Two Towers" better than
"Apocalypse Now"!?

I decided I'd
     search to see if anyone
else had posted this.

The people who know
     what they're doing, already
know what they're doing.

The economy
     collapsed, and nobody was
left to tend the crops.

This is no different
     with software, technology,
or anything else.

How unfortunate
     for you. Sounds like luck to me.
Bad, then good, then bad.

I know. It should read:
     It seems that these kids... *puts on
sunglasses* ...are dope.

It's strange, he didn't bark,
     not that he normally did, but
he didn't seem nervous.

Seeing these comments
     makes me really really want
to see this movie.

This is *grand*. A Spore
     movie I can wrap my head
around, but the Sims?

Then, one week later,
     on the next Monday evening,
they did it again.

A bunch of student
     friends were computer scientists
and also Christians.

Thanks I just realized
     that those are like Twilight but
for older women!

The Room changed my life.
     It's Dov Charney Yeah it's just
C++ that sucks.

Not shocking at all,
     this is to be expected
from a racist cunt.

Why wouldn't parents
     allow their 15-year olds to see
The Fifth Element?

what a way to start
     the day Maybe it was staged,
maybe it wasn't.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
     [deleted] Is becoming?
It already is!!!

I'm afraid I can't
     make head or tails out of it,
so I can't tell you.

I fear that these tough
     questions are being ignored
in this whole debate.

ok Exactly
     how would the US be able
to pay for those elves?

He uses is right
     hand for the head grab and his
left hand for the strike.

Hah, no it doesn't.
     That gives you anonymous
internet browsing.

My head hurts... I'm trying
     to think of even ONE way
this metaphor works.

That and obvious
     grammatical mistakes make
most reader's eyes bleed.

[deleted] Was fraud
     legal in Iceland, or am
I missing something?

She seems just about
     to totally lose it, but
holds it together.

Have you ever done
     something "bad" with the food you
were delivering?

It sounds exactly
     like what people are saying
about Australia.

change it to "I" or
     "me" as needed. Does that mean
you do Lesbian?

There isn't enough
     love for The Iron Giant,
such a great movie.

You're looking at art
     the wrong way _if you only
think one metric counts_.

And yet, it is Jews
     in Israel who by far do
the most slaughtering.

Liquid Sky It costs
     $350K to hire and train a clerk
at a record store?

Can you?" If you don't
     change gears in traffic, you're not
in a manual.

Always arguing
     about that you duck in time
and thus didn't get hit.

They are powerful
     symbols that state that the sub
is my property.

Can you say missing
     the absolute entire
and whole freaking point?

It is illegal.
     lol [deleted] ME.
More for me. Yum, yum.

Maybe you could try
     actually living in a place
without trashing it.

sir, you hit the nail
     on the head. I salute you.
why not, share away.

Don't push it mister,
     we still remember what you
did with the last batch.

So, my question is,
     what is it with Indians
and engineering?

As a parent, I'd
     like to know how, exactly,
he contracted it.

Corporations were
     allowed to do this under
the "key man" theory.

[deleted] I guess
     you can find advice on just
about anything!!

Good list though. I had
     to read your comment three times
before it made sense.

I've never replied
     to one, but it's reasonable
to see someone would.

I was focusing
     on trying to get through each day,
one hour at a time.

Get rich on my death
     while my family goes bankrupt.
Bet on my suffering."

It is amazing
     how cold that is and how fast
that will wake you up.

I think the "reason"
     for the article was made
clear by its title.

You'd be a doormat
     if he came calling again
and you came willing.

He's sort of the George
     W. of heaven, then?
Nice Motorcycle.

Yes. Yes, you can Watch
     The Invention of Lying
full movie right here.

The one thing you run
     into though is that you did
not protest the search.

Let me be the first
     to say I think there should be
more women like you.

I have to go back
     and listen to some Bill Hicks
now, it's been awhile.

I delivered once
     to a house full of injured
cats, but that was nice.

Why aren't you out there
     with her? Some hubby you are.
I love that movie.

In second grade you
     were invited to go if
you excelled enough.

Just wanted to point
     that out in case people didn't
know any better.

[deleted] I can
     ask mine, but I don't know how
to type in cuddle.

From my point of view,
     trade publishers are down there
with estate agents.

When economies
     take hits do services slow?
cant happen also.

I draw (on a white
     board) the area, and place
dots where people are.

At least that'll show
     the true nature of the act.
You know what I've learned?

Awesome. Just awesome...
     I was usually up when
the alarm went off.

The lake itself dries
     up in autumn but fills up
with melting water.

The PC version
     has a whole extra chapter,
including boss fight.

I cannot believe
     that Foreign Policy missed
that obvious point.

I grew up in PA,
     and have driven through amish
country a good deal.

You chose your name well,
     I see, but it doesn't mean
you're right. loo loo loo!

I though Office live
     was it, as far as online
MS Office stuff goes.

Call a parent you
     haven't talked to in a while
and take them to lunch.

In the long run, dumb
     luck may lead to, on average,
positive returns.

When economies
     take hits do services slow?
cant happen also.

So they call in these
     guys who have plasma rifles
to kill the ants yeah?

I have to really
     use my imagination
to get aroused now.

Absolutely none.
     Not in the media, or
in society.

But alas, one could
     argue that he's hurting his
kid either way, right?

Jon Stewart gets all
     his news from watching other
cable news shows though.

_EDITS_: clicked save too
     early, sorry This happened
to a friend of mine.

Asteroids. Old School
     Vector Pew Pew. Ditto on
the Bright House hatred.

I only ever
     successfully used debug
mode twice lol.

Don't stress over this.
     It'll make your boyfriend nervous
("Why's she so nervous?

We should play sometime.
     Wonder if the Cadbury
bunny is exempt?

Holy shit. Why are
     you having such a hard time
understanding this?

We are forced to fund
     these offensive circus freaks.
Precisely the point.

More please! Guys, relax.
     It's a feature. Next time use
the reply button.

I hope it was more
     enjoyable than actually
watching the movie.

It became clear how
     all this stuff really works through
that experience.

As far as I know,
     Sup Com: Forged Alliance is
the better version.

It HAS been awhile.
     I need to play that again.
There's strength in numbers.

That looks like it slips
     in so easily before
reaching those deep spots.

Which branch of Islam
     do you adhere to, if you
don't mind me asking?

WRONG. Even the best
     friend I had used me for free
meals, at my expense.

What you need to do
     is to first decide who you
want to be friends with.

:P Isn't that like
     saying AIDS is much better
than Ebola? Phew!

I can take a hint.
     *Cracks knuckles*. I know. I feel
like such a jackass.

He started being
     concerned about the future
when he had children.

That what you get when
     you let the private sector
run thing like water?

The phrase you've used is
     similar to the "sigh" you've
used previously.

You didn't use the hell
     out of it. You just used it.
It is defective.

I feel like I must
     have something horribly wrong
with me mentally.

Number one you won't
     be so worried or anxious
which is always good.

Is it just me or
     does she look a little like
Michelle Trachtenberg?

The compiler will
     happily swallow it up
without a warning.

THERE Because you can't
     distinguish commentary
from reality?

Which is very close
     to being yours for as long
as your rent is current.

[deleted] He should
     get an award, and we should
get the video.

Th post itself
     is correct America
hates the Rule of Law.

And, ultimately,
     that means r has to divide
either p or q.

generic greeting
     Unfortunately, normal
people would do this.

Well, I certainly
     thought it was fucking scary.
My sister did too.

Any messages
     you want me to pass along
to your sober self?

Spell check fail. that first
     thing you typed, i said the same
exact thing out loud.

People are mostly
     happy, at least in Florence.
I'm a fan of that.

If you try and get
     out of your car, you just get
knocked down all the time.

I felt like I might
     as well just get 3D modeling
software and do that.

Yes it does. If you
     can buy from an online store,
you can research parts.

I'm going to add
     this to the "awesome things from
the internet" drawer!

The definition
     has been stretched so fucking thin
you can see through it.

That's what sucked me in.
     Holy SHIT "Lair of the White
Worm" was odd as hell.

The injected birth
     control for women only
goes for, what, three months?

Congratulations,
     that was the most pretentious
thing I've read all week!

Because deliveries
     are a service and one should
tip for services.

Don't worry about
     "missing out on all the fun."
(More on this later.)

Jerk. Which bit was wrong?
     I'm good for this. I'm sending
you an email now.

Can You Really Lose
     That Fat Belly And Still Eat
Burgers And Drink Beer?

Only a good dad
     would allow it's own baby
to chew off his face.

however, it does
     mean that not every man gets
bashed over the head.

How many people
     don't 'own up' to the actions
that put them in there?

You don't care about
     looking odd, you just do what
feels right. Rock on, dude.

who thinks honestly
     that iran would actually use
nuclear weapons?

I once got rotten
     shark from my aunt that went there
for a holiday.

he most likely did
     not have a drivers licence,
or car insurance.

Nobody's saying
     that rap isn't a verb, it's
just also a noun.

Hell, you could have just
     flown it back out while the doors
closed really slowly.

yeah I was stoned all
     the time when I used to work
at a pizza place.

Actually, having said
     that, I do know one girl who
has "spoken in tongues".

ever [deleted]
     It's not male bonding if you're
drinking miller light.

A great man once said,
     "Fuck art, let's dance!". Wiser words
were never spoken.

A simple smokescreen
     (pyrotechnics smoke charge) would
do fine already.

It seems that you had
     already sold out of them
(including your own).

Writing letters is
     not something your professors
do just to be nice.

I blame Snow Leopard.
     I NEVER had a problem
before Snow Leopard.

Disagree with me
     all you want, but you won't change
my experience.

You've been working there
     for a year and a half, don't
you know anything?

Excellent. Next time
     I throw a party, I want
ALL of y'all to come.

Just take a deep breath
     (in through your nose, out your mouth)
and the urge will pass.

The media just
     chooses not to give them air
time for the most part.

You can let it go.
     He's in Dallas now and can't
hurt you anymore.