Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 1663 of 1746

Haiku #2885

This whole 'it won't make
     money outside the US' thing
is a poor excuse.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2886

Now with Saturn gone,
     she'll probably by a Honda
or a Toyota.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2887

I work out and eat
     healthy, and this is just what
my body type is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2888

Impressive. You are
     definitely not easy
on your vehicles.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2889

And yeah, we should stop
     participating in US
aggression as well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2890

Sometimes raw speed must
     be sacrificed for careful
quality control.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2891

I WILL REENTER!...
     I WILL REENTER... I AM
LISTENING!... I FEEL HOT!...

Score: 0          

Haiku #2892

I suspect people
     in this thread haven't traveled
much in Africa.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2893

[deleted] How long
     did you have to slave away
before you got signed?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2894

[deleted] What is
     Jewish, a race of people
or a religion?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2896

He's also stated
     that he thinks a union is
like getting herpes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2897

The other worst thing
     is when they bring their mother
or father along.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2898

So this one is when
     acting against one's fate is
the cause of that fate.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2899

I haven't a strong
     enough word to express how
retarded that is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2900

Looks like Sarah is
     not the only idiot
Palin in this world.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2901

You need to listen
     to more talk radio if
you want to hear it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2902

Don't say someone was
     born a Jew, or a Christian
or anything else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2903

I saw people who
     wouldn't even get up from
their machine to eat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2904

If you lie, sooner
     or later it will come out
and you will be screwed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2905

The guy said UPS has
     security guards that check
you on the way out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2906

Microsoft invents
     the new tool bar (the thing that's
in the new MS Word).

Score: 0          

Haiku #2907

Look in the mirror
     before calling anyone
else a tool, jackass.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2908

There's nothing I can
     ask here that won't make me look
like a reprobate.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2909

oh, and here I thought
     she was traumatized because
**SHE FUCKED A DONKEY!

Score: 0          

Haiku #2910

I just wish I could
     get Grim Fandango working
correctly in wine.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2911

Gran Torino is
     "not a Christian movie?" did
you even watch it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2912

I thought it was good.
     Rudin likes to explain things
from first principles.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2913

If someone doesn't
     like the music it's easy
enough to move on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2914

This article gives
     tips on how to not pack on
the pounds in winter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2915

She tells everyone
     we both know that I cheated
on her and her friend.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2916

Vote for any law
     that outlaws political
influence buying.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2917

Yea so? Yep. And we'd
     repeat the chorus over
and over again.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2918

Most developers
     lower the prices of there
games when they get old.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2919

Not to say Rio
     has been better, I just don't
think we deserve it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2920

[deleted] Firstly,
     do patents really protect
you successfully?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2921

It's also somewhat
     hard for me to trust strangers
or acquaintances.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2922

They have to agree
     to take the cash, and there is
nothing wrong with this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2923

IMO there is no
     place for dogma in science.
Thank you. Just thank you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2924

I went completely
     insane, I cried ALL the time,
and I never cry.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2925

How you did it is
     more exciting than just "YAY
I'M GONNA DO IT!"

Score: 0          

Haiku #2926

People are treated
     as people, with dignity,
and not as number.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2927

is just as fucked up.
     I totally watched them both
all the way through, though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2928

I was with a girl
     who had sex with another
guy while we apart.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2929

Yeah, I was looking
     for that wolf in my closet
for like a decade.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2930

Remember, it may
     be your ass in the sling if
something should happen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2931

Failing that odds are
     good you go to U of T
or York. Am I right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2932

Don't lie to me, I'm
     making huge life decisions
based on your input!

Score: 0          

Haiku #2933

Ask her what she feels,
     what is going in her life,
and listen to her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2934

She *knows* she was there.
     All she had to do was call
and say "Where's my bill?".

Score: 0          

Haiku #2935

She gave you a free
     sample, on loan, to convince
you to marry her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2936

It'll be on my cool
     ideas to play with list,
for when I get home.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2937

Nice try, Mork. The fact
     that you like your music does
not matter to me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2938

It's not part of what's
     real to me, and I feel free
to joke about it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2939

Then you could really
     play up the whole "it's bigger
on the inside" joke.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2940

I was born to rage
     against them. Etc.
Awesome. I'd suggest.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2941

how could this go wrong?
     I can't wait, this is going
to be amazing!

Score: 0          

Haiku #2942

I would hope not; but,
     wouldn't be terrifically
surprised if it did.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2943

Oh, and yeah, I do
     hate it when people throw butts
out of their window.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2944

Yes, we are. This all
     started when I asked what you
meant by source escrow.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2945

TELL US WHO THE FUCK
     IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE You,
sir, are an asshole.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2946

[deleted] And if
     he is moved to another
post as a result?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2947

So my question is:
     do we have any control
over that branching?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2948

My only problem
     is that not every movie
is playing for me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2949

or your controller
     was the closest thing to you.
Making a feather?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2950

i can't remember
     the rest An experience
is what you make it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2951

Scientology
     is a collection of ways
to do things better.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2952

The lower life swings
     you, the more momentum you
have coming back up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2953

Sorry dude. I can
     respect an opinion like
Harold Bloom's on Smith.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2955

Also, I don't think
     video game anger is
limited to men.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2956

Oh wait... How many
     living people have you seen?
And how many dead?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2957

From what I can tell,
     the communication was
not there for you guys.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2958

What's so bad about
     everyone being healthy?
Rock, paper, scissors.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2959

(Eat whatever you
     don't bake, or bake them into
regular cookies.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2960

Have you ever hurt
     yourself or someone else by
acting out a dream?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2961

That is to say, it's
     okay not to date a girl
for *any* reason.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2962

The funny thing is
     I didn't even see that part
for a bit, then looked.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2963

"Fuck you hippie, you
     ARE the system". Live your life.
Do challenging things.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2964

Now... is it really
     cruelty if the animal
is enjoying it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2965

Apostate! That is
     as bad as buying the game
just for Jack Black. Bad.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2966

Anyways, good luck...
     I know what you're going through
and how tough it is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2967

Go read your comments,
     then call a professional
for talk therapy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2968

I am sure that his
     girlfriend doesn't have a clue
what the problem is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2969

In therapy, there
     is nobody else you can
work on but yourself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2970

Don't write what you think
     the publishing world wants, write
what you like. Trends change.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2971

If you consider
     their side, you aren't exactly
militant, are you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2972

She actually got her
     good powers by stealing them
through her bad power.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2973

They scale your level
     and you can still make a dent
in the other team.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2974

It's present, but you're
     not actually supposed to pay
attention to it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2975

Do you continue
     to patronize businesses
which treat you poorly?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2976

When are they going
     to made the made for TV
movie about you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2978

They are not the same
     thing just because you take out
your wallet in both.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2979

I am a pretty
     hardcore Harry Potter fan,
just for the record.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2981

Nothing more to add.
     It's true. Ask anyone from
outside the country.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2982

What was that little
     ball thingy he used to light
the pipe later on?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2983

I love banana
     peppers too, but Papa John's
doesn't give you those.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2984

Fortunately, there
     are plenty of alternate
ways to play those chords.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2985

A minor scale feels
     much different than a major
scale, etc.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2986

It takes me right back
     to the 6th grade every
time I play it. Sigh.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2987

I had a friend who
     "forgot" about a tampon
for over two weeks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2988

True Story. When you
     compromise your health care, you
end up sick or dead.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2989

Either way, you're not
     very smart. Good day. It reads:
The cake is a lie!

Score: 0          

Haiku #2990

Not really my thing.
     But feel free to victimize
yourself all you want.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2992

The Secret Service
     are probably the least of our
governmental fears.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2993

The beauty of forts
     as a joint effort cannot
be understated.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2994

Are you really not
     worried about being caught
and losing your job?

Score: 0          

Haiku #2995

He is known to be
     very temperamental when
you get something wrong.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2996

First of all she did
     not consent second of all
Polanski drugged her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3854

I grew up in MI,
     so I know all about snow
and humidity.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2998

I eat both of them
     as fast as I can open
the box and love them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2999

Seems like it's different
     because the guys she has sex
with are also paid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3000

It was a joke. Hah.
     No funny business, and its
not just alter boys.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3001

No funny business,
     and its not just alter boys.
There are alter girls.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3002

Let me help you read
     between the lines of the post
you're replying to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3003

I won't hold my breath,
     but on the off chance I thought
I might as well ask.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3004

just like with health care,
     our food supply is getting
poisoned with profits.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3005

Measure the belly?
     Look and see approach? No! Way!
Who's Orson Scott Card?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3006

No! Way! Who's Orson
     Scott Card? ...but everyone loves
Canadians, right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3007

Last I heard, Pierre
     Trudeau hasn't become Prime
Minister again.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3008

Can you use your home
     Internet connection while
you're away from home?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3009

[deleted] Wait, you're
     telling me there are other
countries out there now?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3010

You on the other
     hand have failed to grasp the most
basic of concepts.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3011

Modern movies are
     just plain worse and therefore get
cycled through faster?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3012

[deleted] I was
     on my way home with some friends
from Olive Garden.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3013

Other people had
     other reason for helping
to create the farm.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3014

What's going on just
     to the right of the camera?
What's he looking at?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3015

It'll be interesting
     to see the eventual
outcome of that work.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3016

i don't really see
     what the problem is... just leave!
get out of utah!

Score: 0          

Haiku #3017

I miss the days when
     all a zombie wanted was
your delicious brain.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3019

He was a hateful
     racist at a time when most
people were racist.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3020

The future is more
     expensive, apparently...
Throw away the card.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3021

You don't care what wires
     you call goes through, just that you
can talk to your mom.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3022

I'm sad he's dead. ~hugs~
     You're hurting real bad, and you
want someone to help.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3023

I am lucky boy!
     Why is this man half dressed up
as Yellow Ranger?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3024

Why is this man half
     dressed up as Yellow Ranger?
This is accurate.

Score: 0          

Haiku #2255

The idea you're
     stating is idyllic, but
terribly naive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3025

As in they don't leave
     or try to ignore me when
I have a flashback.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3026

I'm just pointing out
     that this guy's ideas are
horrendously flawed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3027

And in a year just
     about every one had crashed.
It just works my ass.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3028

What kind of crazy
     is this? Is this normal? Oh.
Yup, that's the problem.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3029

You would probably pass
     anyway so buy some self
test strips and find out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3030

Certainly, I had
     fun playing WoW, but the time
was not productive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3031

I mean it may not
     TECHNICALLY be so, but just
look at things like this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3032

He's a horrible
     fighter, obviously not
military trained.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3033

I also wouldn't
     want to break my mother's heart
if she doesn't know.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3034

Since then I have found
     no other job anywhere
near as fulfilling.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3035

When we got back, sure
     enough there were dogs and no
less than three cop cars.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3036

First off, I would like
     to see the data which you
are referring to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3037

the central bank told
     my dad to fly to over
there and bring the bills.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3038

Came here to say this.
     Did you hear it when I did
the same thing just now?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3039

Or you could just not
     be an asshole and not get
in peoples faces.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3040

People slow down when
     (if) they see the cop, then speed
up when they're past him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3041

I was, left after
     6th grade when my teacher
died of breast cancer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3042

Do you really think
     he is going to look out
for the "little guy"?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3043

I've only had one
     boyfriend, and have only had
sex twice after this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3044

It was EXTREMELY
     FAR FROM EFFORTLESS (my jaw
got VERY tired.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3045

I realize it comes
     at a cost but I can see
the value of it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3046

Just reading in depth
     into any of Campbell's
work will help your brain.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3047

But I doubt there are.
     Obvious shocked outburst is
obvious too, eh?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3048

You can basically
     cross compile to just about
anything that ticks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3049

In that case you need
     to work on NOT surrounding
yourself with crazies.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3050

Also, you mention
     that she was spat on daily
when she was homeless.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3051

Snow in September?
     Where are you from? [deleted]
Yeah, Brother! Right On!

Score: 0          

Haiku #3052

[deleted] First thing
     that came out of my mouth when
I saw the graph. HA!

Score: 0          

Haiku #3053

A boob in the mouth
     is worth two on the bus is
what I always say!

Score: 0          

Haiku #3054

I almost feel like
     worship is a made up word
with no real value.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3055

You know, they sell out
     more when they take your money
than when you eat there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3056

Just give him a hug
     and let him know that you will
always love him too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3057

[deleted] That's bad
     ass dude But I'd have had him
sign Long Halloween.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3058

So the real question
     is, what makes negative rights
justified to you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3059

After this flashback
     I'll get a nasty headache
and my neck will hurt.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3060

Gonna have to buy
     this shirt [deleted] His name
is Robert Paulson.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3061

The healthy and rich
     don't need it so they don't march.
Health care would be nice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3062

Can't sit in office
     chairs for any extended
period of time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3063

"building up and up
     until at the climax" Was
this intentional?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3064

The John Wayne Gacy
     Juniors! Holy crap, why don't
those people just walk?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3065

Do some of the things
     that you see while on the job
ever bother you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3066

and you're not jesus?
     here i was trying to be all
good and puritan.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3067

It has worked better
     than any alternative
approach I've worked with.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3068

It's time for people
     to give up their pride, and vote
in the primaries.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3069

I'm a spirits man.
     Get some Jameson or something.
That game was fun too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3070

If one will not do
     well in law school, then one should
not go to law school.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3071

Has she been doing
     anything different after
the pregnancy scare?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3072

His arm movements look
     kinda Karate to me,
but I'm no expert.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3073

Those other flu strains
     weren't named "swine flu" now were they,
Mr. Smarty Pants?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3074

Sick girl. That movie
     is one of the most fucked up
things I've ever seen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3075

Then I said he cuts
     (or riffs) like an Australian.
So does David Thorne...

Score: 0          

Haiku #3076

I'm in a new house
     and I don't want that creepy
feeling seeping in.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3077

I don't want someone
     I don't want to know this stuff
stumbling across it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3078

It'd be a shame
     if something happened to it.
A *Jewish* black man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3079

I want to know where
     you other Americans
are learning your shit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3080

The reality
     is that male gender roles come
naturally for me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3081

It's safer that way.
     Humor the crazy, but don't
go along with him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3082

You're wrong. You're wrong on
     the internet, which isn't
much, but you're still wrong.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3083

[deleted] if you
     couldn't tell by the picture
next to the text box.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3084

This doesn't follow.
     Why? Seems like you're just pulling
this out of thin air.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3085

Even Opiate?
     If I could speak Hindi or
Urdu, I would have.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3086

Some of them, in some
     areas, clearly didn't know
what they were doing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3087

Now: "hey, they don't stop
     speaking about Perl, they must
be hiding its death!".

Score: 0          

Haiku #3088

Why on earth are you
     talking about the recent
Gaza offensive?

Score: 0          

Haiku #3089

I always end up
     canceling the order and just
going to the store.

Score: 0          

Haiku #3090

It looks like the cone
     is wide enough that he should
be able to eat.

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:30 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.