Reddit Haikus

I heard horny goat
     weed helps bump you out of it.
Supplements may help.

Fireproof is more
     obvious because it's meant
to be obvious.

As a Greg Oden
     fan, I want him to come back
and be great but.... FUCK!

Give me the details!
     [deleted] You aren't alone
on this feeling mate.

It's okay. You're still
     at the point in your cycle
that we still love you.

Have Leroy bust all
     barriers at distance you'll
have to buy three doors.

Sorry about that,
     Fatty Fat Fatty. Hey, Tom,
she's just a fat kid!

[Source]: This used to be
     my favorite Disney movie.
I was a weird kid.

More people were saved
     without Saddam Hussein than
were killed by the war.

They arent marxists.
     Not even close. Not even
in the same ballpark.

Plenty of my friends
     are gorgeous, and have never
been told by women.

Marketing has been
     doing its job to keep new
things going I guess.

There are actual ways
     to do this with out killing
the entire crew.

somebody has his
     clever day Some people just
watch the news too much.

The money I got
     from return was no where near
worth the mold damage.

Just to clarify
     that's sarcasm, I know it's
hard to tell sometimes.

Interesting, I didn't
     know that. Thanks for the info.
why can't we have both?

I basically said
     the same thing except a lot
more professional.

Things happen that are
     out of human control like
natural disasters.

No parent can be
     perfect, or enjoy every
aspect of your child.

Biggest combo I've
     ever gotten on this map
x878 and I missed 150ish.

To be honestly,
     in my opinion there is
no meaning to life.

it was Transformers
     and Fast and the Furious
and that's the problem.

This subtle form can
     be of female characters
that have to be saved.

But now I know how
     not to get thrown off a car
moving at high speed.

This is the exact
     call I remember laughing
my ass off about.

The faster you ride
     the more deliveries you can
take during your shift.

I'm glad! If you were
     playing with Bey Blades, you are
still in your childhood.

Because shit happens
     and we like to be able
to protect ourselves.

So by nobody
     do you mean everybody
since it's too crowded?

The fire alarm will
     alert the fire department
when I'm out of town.

They can probably be
     had in slightly later rounds
anyway, this year.

This. Just make sure you
     don't have anywhere to be
the next day. still wood.

So size DOES matter!!
     Sure thing! Holy crap I made
judgmental two words...

Laugh more, and make some
     jokes about your last "mummy
sex" relationship.

This might sound really
     stupid but how do they talk
to one another?

Just because someone
     step in first doesn't mean no
one else won't follow.

I pulled the race card
     on a security guard.
I'm white, he wasn't.

Sure enough, the phone
     rang and it was my teacher
fulfilling his threat.

[deleted] Costco
     really needs to revamp their
return policy.

There have been some core
     games that appeal to people
but it has dwindled.

It doesn't make sense.
     All Hail! I hate that people
have good jobs out there.

Whatever you say
     agent smith I think you're more
on the target too.

Guns are for pussies.
     Spinner, for sure Nope, that's not
what I said at all.

They've already made
     the games even easier
than they used to be.

Its goo to know there
     are people out there willing
the share good knowledge.

kind of sensitive!
     Haven't been. I just order
stuff online really.

I won't kill you if
     I see you, because your name
is smile empty soul.

If you click on "league"
     in your profile, it should still
say you're in promo.

I started to give
     up on looking at the links.
But not this one. Heh.

Was walking along,
     saw my favorite neighborhood
cat, and took him home.

Always played the same
     side of the field and never
really did much else.

There has to be some
     sort of requirement to pay
for a minimum.

yeah right, that's going
     to my weed and hooker fund.
Wow, what a racket.

I wouldn't have guessed!
     Usually eye comments are
about East Asians.

fucking idiot
     christ killers, broken ass tools.
that's all you are, tools.

there's billions of you
     out there, like fucking roaches
from hell. filth, you thieves.

[covers ears] *"Na na
     na na na I can't hear you
na na na na na!

[deleted] I've read
     the books and watched the series...
I don't get it. Good.

Your response on space
     exploration has brought tears
to my eyes. Thank you.

If something had gone
     haywire with the close, I had
time to compensate.

I'm sorry about
     whatever happened to you,
but no, and fuck you.

and so far, it looks
     like what they want to do could
be intensely fun.

Let's say Kidd blew out
     his knee in college and could
never play again.

I'm Mormon. Not sure.
     They may be given with names
already with them.

Another difference
     is that what savior did was
clearly illegal.

Now I have less flare
     ups and bad days and my pain
is manageable.

I know some people
     never hang out with others
and I feel for that.

I'm not exactions
     sure what draws me to that place,
it just intrigues me.

Well, my opinion
     is that this gentleman has
excellent eyebrows!

The history channel
     needs something like the and less
reality shows.

I have never had
     sex with children, if that's what
you're referring to.

He bullied people.
     He robbed from them, threatened them,
and assaulted them.

The raw emotion
     when Paul sings it live gives me
goose bumps every time.

Your selling point is
     youthful enthusiasm.
YAY!!! That's my birthday!!!!

Who knows maybe you
     could have change their mind if you
worded things better.

The yellows are slight
     enough that I mostly don't
hear them. As a whole?

On the TV show
     Bones when the British intern
was shot fatally.

If you're not planning
     on getting pregnant, pulling
out isn't fool proof.

Nah. The game was from
     the Beyond the Summit World
Tour tournament right?

Make a t virus?
     Nice try, Umbrella This is
amazing, thank you!

Yes, absolutely.
     They must, and it is. It should
also stay that way.

Watching him play, it's
     little wonder why he can't
finish at the him.

Donna Summer- Love
     to Live you baby and Pink
Floyd- wish you were here.

If you can turn 3k
     to 1m, then you can have all
the supermodels.

It is a daily
     struggle, but one that I win
because I *choose* to.

Maybe try to talk
     to some guys but you shouldn't
have too much trouble.

The highlighting on
     the black parts looks really nice
in particular.

No. My nanny has
     diabetes and her nails
look NOTHING like this!

What if she does change,
     doesn't inform you, and then
applies for a job?

is there anything
     else i might not know about
their relationship?

My fault everyone...
     [deleted] Assassin's Creed
in near future, yawn.

Every single time
     you log in, you must download
the ENTIRE world.

[deleted] She's from
     Iowa. Why would they need
to extradite him?

[deleted] Major
     nelson said there will be no
re introduction.

..cant remember where
     I read it but yeah... Nice smile.
Congratulations!

Does this message mean
     "just download a new client
all over again"?

This looks like World War
     Z. Thank you, Drew. [deleted]
Shit this game was hard.

Genders are different
     from one another, people
all know it deep down.

Every genital
     mutilation constitutes
sexual assault.

Apparently not.
     Have any sources that would
help educate me?

We documented
     everything, all the damage
and clutter. Dat ass.

The one new guy was
     gone for hours, and everyone
was laughing it up.

Good for you! You do
     not need to put up with that,
you deserve better!!

I used to go hard
     on the Bugle Boy, I had
neon stripes for days.

Slammed the brakes and stopped
     just as my front tire tapped
the pedestrian.

Sounds to me like you
     have hit what others refer
to as the "plateau".

Think about it. **It's
     the one thing that nobody
is honest about.

I agree but why
     are you friends with someone who
would brag about that?

I'm so sorry OP!
     I've been waiting for something
like this! Thanks a ton!

He was dealing "H"!
     He was dirty I tell ya!
Just signed up for it.

its the hard angles
     i think but it just does not
suit the car IMO.

I've been on the fence
     about things like that but might
as well try it out.

we just had to get
     the tires realigned, but
his car was totalled.

Fly in raw mats, fly
     out finished products Steve Holt!
You CAN NOT know that.

Sure, they won't go on
     to sing the most interesting
music, but so what?

Welcome to ~~Royals~~
     Giants baseball. Most short shorts
I've seen aren't denim...

And we need a way
     to test for that shit or I'd
lose a bunch of friends.

[deleted] I don't
     understand how Costco makes
money doing this.

U! S! A! U! S!
     A! U! S! A! U! S! A!
U! S! A! U! S!

Rubbish. People don't
     leave the faith because God's wrath
isn't preached enough.

If short shorts make you
     lose respect for someone, you
seem pretty shallow.

And please don't comment
     on how the price of living
is so much higher.

Short shorts are only
     embarrassing if you skip
leg day. nice twigs, bro.

I read it for fun
     and found it to be a great
series of novels.

I was floored. I was
     *this* close to kicking that sick
fuck out of my house.

But... The latency!
     Also, I don't quite feel like
leveling up again.

[deleted] No, next
     time just resist it with all
your might. alright then.

I think we love big
     dicks more but care less about
small and average ones.

Should be a very
     interesting debate about
what constitutes "life".

Someone's got a good
     night ahead of them! Lying?
On the Internet?

If the medicine
     works the way it should things will
get a lot better.

I feel *emotions*
     very strongly, but I cant
exactly read minds.

She did have a good
     reason for taking the kid
to a hospital.

Philadelphia
     Brothers? Almost works if not
for the racial tone.

That is all. She kept
     the money so there's no need
to feel bad for her.

'It's ok that you
     ladies don't fit standard A!
We want standard B!'

Agreed! How can you
     tell witch side the glue is on?
I have RAW papers.

Z77 processor is
     used for unlocked processors
in the "K" series.

The part where Stan is
     talking to the twins parents
and they have no food.

I'm glad I'm a girl,
     wearing short shorts and tank tops
is acceptable.

We are treated like
     adults, and are expected
to act like it too.

Really? Ever see
     Age of Conan? you people
are too creative.

But it also would
     depend where you draft and who
you have a shot at.

My lips and tongue are
     busy keeping him away
from teeth otherwise.

My problem is not
     with things multiplying by
the Lorentz factor.

Very hard question
     to be answered in general.
Too many factors.

Probably taken by
     the government to cover
up their secrets. Yup.

But wait, what's that now?
     Now we have lots of doctors,
they're being paid less?

I can exercise
     without feeling like someone's
sitting on my chest.

Oh man, so much **THIS**.
     I used to have liberty
spikes back in high school.

Best player in US
     history, better than Dempsey
or anyone else.

The babies are loud
     as FUCK Not fun to wake up
to every morning.

It was cool watching
     the little streaks of color
change along their sides.

But this happened twice.
     What are the odds? I spent years
thinking I was cursed.

I've never been more
     disappointed with a game
than I was with D3.

Batman accepts his
     role as strategist, realist
and cold logician.

If they've got a half
     decent camp, its far from their
first time seeing it.

Like a scroll? That would
     be a great app for those who
have to use their phones.

That would be a great
     app for those who have to use
their phones. ah no mate.

I'm curious where
     I can learn more about his
FABULOUS toupee.

We all KNEW she was
     gay, but she could never be
open about it.

Edit: sweet! He got
     back into the positives!
Maybe I was wrong.

The government has
     no power to define or
regulate the press.

Starving African
     Children eat the ants for their
delicious honey.

Go back there and beat
     up the dentist while screaming,
"You did this to me!"

[deleted] That's what
     I've been doing. I always
cover the munchies.

What is a good price
     for an average condition
peso like you bought?

Note that this "happy"
     life something very different
from a *pleasant* life.

Pushing things further,
     just any challenge isn't
sufficient either.

at least it isn't
     like some places with really
clean reflective tiles.

You can only see
     part of her face All I heard
was 'breach of the peace'.

Billionaire might get
     lobster and steak, while I might
buy a chicken wrap.

Congratulations,
     glad the tide didn't swallow you
up, take it easy.

I'm so cold, please could
     I just have one more? I'll pay
you back I promise.

Can't you call over
     the manager and explain
the situation?

Like several others
     have said, I stay up later
than everyone else.

I may be wrong, but
     I don't really care enough
to look into it.

If you slow it down
     I *think* you will be able
to see the Q spell.

We had people like
     Curry on a vet min just
to sit on the bench.

Edit: Meant to add
     that, yes, it happens more than
you might imagine.

HOPEFULLY KISHI
     EXPLAINS THE FIRST AND SECONDS
DEATH A LITTLE MORE.

Actually Religion,
     in and of itself, isn't
inherently bad.

It's hard to move past
     something that has disappeared
but you can do it.

I just can't I hope
     you're having a wonderful
baby shower, love!

The penny candy
     store just down the street from me
has these sour geckos.....

Because she wasn't
     given the money to do
any of those things.

I've tried to find some
     gun courses in Illinois
for me and my wife.

Pluto may not be
     far enough away after
you read this next bit.

Unfortunately
     my childhood wasn't awesome
enough to have this.

Thank you. Not too late
     to hop on the bandwagon
like most of my friends.

Hey buddy, sorry
     to say it doesn't appear
to be working. Here.

Don't hold crouch when you're
     bombing, that's why you're getting
knocked to the skybox.

(off to find it, see
     yah) I didn't say win every
bowl game we are in...

That truly seems like
     trouble waiting to happen.
Fucking great thread, OP.

Fucking great thread, OP.
     This is "tales from the pizza
guy" as an art form.

Or at least, that's how
     I see it. This bothers me.
Can't figure out why.

That is a blatant
     misunderstanding of all
the concepts involved.

From what I have read,
     Duke's rates are still lower than
the national average.

Problem Dog. Hands down.
     I HAVE THAT EXACT SAME MUG!!!!
WE ARE MUG BUDDIES!!!

Iraqi police
     would come on base for training
and use our toilets.