Reddit Haikus

The most viciously
     vile offender I hear is
roaming on cruise ships.

It seems like they must
     have been really stupid, but
now I'll never know.

Data, is that you?
     Don't be so sensitive, guy,
I was just kidding.

America are
     just really really behind
and it's despairing.

Starting today, just
     ignore any traffic law
you don't agree with.

Where exactly is
     your law degree from again?
Where have you practiced?

for the few it does,
     the majority love it.
I thought there were roads?

Don't forget fishing.
     I love the neutrality
in this article.

Arnie visited
     the set of Batman Begins
when they were filming...

What if everyone
     decided to not text each
other for a month?

Who should I vote for?
     Where will my vote count the most?
Will it count at all?

I'll agree the few
     poor ones I've worked with were not
among the readers.

You don't need sweeping
     government legislation
to make it happen.

Johnny & Sarah:
     If you can't hunt with the big
dogs, stay on the porch.

this guy is a joke.
     anyone voting for him
is also a joke.

It's a good thing you
     keep up to date on your news
with Time magazine.

Does this mean that Bill
     O'Reilly is popular
among Democrats?

Small towns around me
     don't share those values, but that's
what the code words mean.

"Pot had helped, and booze;
     maybe a little blow when
you could afford it.

And if you can not
     understand these sentences,
that is your problem.

Damn, Henderson made
     more than all the other Main
Card Fighters combined.

I say this even
     if it means my music won't
make it to the top.

There was a bigger
     version of it whose funding
got cut by congress.

The cake is a lie.
     No actually, socialism
is none of those things.

Windows has never
     failed to boot, even though I'm
hard on my system.

So no perfume is
     actually costs quite a bit more
to make than you think.

But I hear they are
     getting better gas mileage
than the old hogs did.

They didn't so he's not.
     Stop complaining. [deleted]
I kinda agree.

It probably detects
     slight pauses as you hover
over each letter.

Good thing you said most,
     Jesus and God would be mad
if you said 'All deaths".

Because it involves
     much less movement to than just
writing the letters.

Maybe we all need
     some clarification here?
You beat me to it...

Congratulations
     on finally besting both
our hearts and our minds.

The guy who became
     Robocop wasn't even
shot that many times!

"A general increase
     in the level of prices
as compared to what?..

And yet he's clearly
     smarter and more thoughtful than
Sarah Palin. Weird.

remember Jackie:
     You don't have to give em hell.
just tell em the truth.

They have a vested
     interest in our future more
than we do in theirs.

Because it involves
     much less movement to than just
writing the letters.

Regardless, let me
     restate this since you can't seem
to read very well.

The difference between
     the genocides in Iraq
and Sudan is OIL.

Well everybody
     voting for Obama wants
something for nothing.

They're going to pay
     for the people who don't want
to works' welfare checks.

Down voted for trying
     to emphasize an issue
that doesn't matter.

If we never asked
     questions we'd still work for Queen
Elizabeth. No.

Do you want to know
     the truth, or stay brainwashed by
the violent Bible?

So he just hired
     one and then put her to work
with daily 17-mile walks.

lol quitter
     Very nice. He is a thought
on how to do that.

Forcefully, sure, but
     Bill's constant interruptions
were pretty childish.

but the main reason
     people don't use dollar coins
is people fear change.

Make your own food is
     the single most important
part of surviving.

[deleted] So, does
     she or does she not believe
in Evolution?

He wouldn't because
     he'd try to combat crazy
with calm and rational.

Make your own food is
     the single most important
part of surviving.

I did not know her
     church was one of those in it,
that's fucking sickening.

mikes hard lemonade
     should be illegal Kinda
weird without music.

Honestly, I can't
     imagine any kid would
find this interesting.

Edit: It's always
     about some stupid fucking
coupon bullshit, too.

If I was a girl
     I would so be fucking Matt
Damon after that.

They play a shitty
     schedule and then get raped by
far better SEC teams.

I can't remember
     the last time their search has been
useful in the least.

Sweet- **it's time for you
     to educate yourself on
reality, son.

The government is
     supposed to be a servant
not a dictator.

The electoral
     college thing is pretty f'd
up to begin with.

What the hell? *ring ring*
     Hello? Satan is that you?
What? It froze over?

And how do you know
     that was the implication
that Matt Damon gave?

We will overcome
     this fiasco and we will
be stronger for it.

It'd be nice if
     i could get a reasonable
job using it, though.

Speaking of prices,
     I wonder what the mark up
would be on the green?

if the truth doesn't
     matter then this country is
run by lies and greed.

Every extra vote,
     every extra percentage
point, sends its message.

What ever happened
     to paying for a six pack
and her bus fare home??

Basically, my dad
     accidentally became
feminism fuel.

[deleted] You were
     instructed to skip that part!
And yes, yes he did.

Keenan is much more
     artistic in APC
in my opinion.

I understand, but
     that does not mean that the current
set of rules is fair.

I know what I'll be
     drinking my morning coffee
from in the morning!

It only covers
     male abusers, what about
female abusers?

Matt Damon on his
     own against Sarah Palin
plus her support team?

That sounds far better
     than any office party
I was ever at.

And Bigfoot. From their
     secret underground control
center in Roswell.

Obama can make
     education better. How?
Spend more $$$money$$$ wow.

This is pretty much
     all third parties ever do.
Talk talk talk talk talk.

Have fun invading
     Iran you useless moron
third party voters.

[deleted] Voted
     up to jump on this comment
karma gravy train.

He'd be an awesome
     grandpa, but he's too far off
mainstream politics.

They play a tough fought
     game but on paper, it just
doesn't look that way.

It takes space away
     from dealing with other, more
interesting, issues.

If they were smokers,
     they'd take a book out with them
on their smoking breaks.

[deleted] Thank you,
     thank you very much. Sorry.
You left it out there.

Even the Bible
     says it, women prefer men
with big penises.

Don't sit on the fence.
     That's what the republicans
want you to believe.

So... she looks awkward
     because you're not banging her...?
It's all your fault, then!

i see no lipstick
     on that pig... One less moron.
Break out the champagne.

Learn respect. I moved
     to a small town from a big
city for my job.

That would've been cool.
     [deleted] I think Morse Code
is the way to go.

Someone please tell me
     why the fuck Obama is
pulling his punches?

I'm glad I finished
     swallowing my food before
reading your comment.

I appreciate
     the sentiment, but the all
caps have got to go.

I moved to a small
     town from a BIG one. It... sucks.
It is terrible.

[deleted] I can't
     believe someone actually paid
money to do that.

Click the door over
     and over until it breaks,
revealing the key.

`:p` cool, but why do
     I feel like there was a big
"but" after that clip?

I copped hell for that.
     Hey, so long as they're only
popping out of it.

Look for the words "love,"
     "acceptance," and "compassion"
among the gospels.

did you know doing
     the thumbs up in the middle
east is offensive?

I do wonder how
     different the world would be if
Dukakis had won.

Yeah.... South Ossetians
     have been openly saying
this since it began.

Ok, what would you
     call music on a CD?
A "digital" score?

It is only child
     abuse if you hang them up
in a tree with one.

Anyone who made
     that a race issue would be
equally stupid.

If not, then why is
     this crap so damn prevalent
in this country? Yep.

How much of a queer
     do you have to be to say
"deary, deary me"?

Why would you have songs
     in a jukebox if you aren't
allowed to play them?

[deleted] I skimmed
     the article (too tired
to read in detail).

What an amazing
     smoke screen the McCain campaign
is blowing around.

I sure wont ever
     be getting a motorbike
after seeing that.

Call around and get
     estimates, you'd be amazed
at the price difference.

The Bible describes,
     but the indecency is
when it is performed.

Not over who said
     what about whom or who won't
where what pin and why.

The funny thing was,
     the building they lived in was
zoned industrial.

I promise I didn't
     even acknowledge my son
pulling up his pants.

You know when someone
     yells into your ear and you
pull back from the shock?

Despondent? I thought
     you had a chip in your brain
that prevented that?

Well, the US is doomed
     anyway, as all nations
eventually fall.

No self respecting
     man would use a phone like this,
much less pay for one.

Thanks! That's the one thing
     that frustrates me about him
as a candidate.

The awkward part was
     not a one of us had been
following along.

Advertisers know
     that you probably left the room
to get a sandwich.

She banned zero books.
     She tried to ban zero books.
There is your razor.

It is like vs
     mech I'm curious about
this too. Anyone?

Good point. How many
     terms had he fucked up before
the last election?

I can rest safely
     knowing I won't be bludgeoned
with a meat product.

Sure, he could make his
     point using less words, but less
isn't always more.

Anyway, if you're
     saying electricity,
then I say metal.

Without metal, we'd
     never be able to move
electrical current.

I feel like there are
     other more productive things
I could be doing.

You can still scroll *way*
     down to the bottom to get
the unmasked answers.

I dream of the day
     when all consensual acts
are not illegal.

My intelligent
     guess is that the right button
is for "genius" mode.

Software? I guess you
     could call it software, or you
could call it music.

Thank goodness- I thought
     I was just wasting time but
I'm actually elite!

That's because many
     religious people don't trust
atheists at all..

Should definitely
     be in the conversation.
Had no idea.

I mean, who the fuck
     are you to say somebody
else is "living wrong"?

They sure could've used
     help from the people that vote;
why didn't they get it?

i am sure you speak
     more than one language fluent.
you better teach me!

The world is way too
     fucked up to take everything
too seriously.

It can't penetrate
     your brain. Here I'll try again.
Netscape used to suck.

You say that your vote
     didn't do a damn thing the last
few times you voted.

It would explain why
     the CD cases were still
wrapped and unopened.

The secondary
     factor, however, is its
level of expense.

The bits I needed
     out of that could have been done
in a paragraph.

You're an idiot.
     Good luck with that, by the way.
Darwin strikes again.

[deleted] give up
     is the wrong phrase, but changing
the strategy: yes.

Every now and then
     I'll bump onto a stupid
expert sex change page.

We got it. Are you
     saying that there is something
wrong with young people.

Cynical fucks who
     sit on their asses and ask
'what makes them heroes'.

I have been an oil
     using man all my life, but
enough is enough.

I personally do
     not care who I'm murdering,
as long as it's fun.

Had she been sitting
     on a gravel driveway just
before that picture?

Does this mean I think
     search engines and deep linking
should be illegal?

I'm sensing a **great**
     new line of greeting cards here.
"I'd come back for you!"

No, Sarah Palin
     being young and pretty is
hurting Obama.

Perfect. Let's keep them
     segregated so we don't
have to deal with them.

Now days, typing is
     like writing, it's unusual
if you can't do it.

Who has what Steve puts
     in the cake, eh? Not many.
Very few I'd say.

Though I'm not too sure
     if I'd go out of my way
to just purchase it.

Even if it came
     with a free bottle of scotch,
I still wouldn't care.

I think the simplest
     answer is that God prefers
to work through humans.

Modern Christians are
     the most accepting people
I have ever met.

Who's to say that all
     other planets won't look like
Western Canada?

the finger pointing
     needs to stop before any
progress can be made.

Be strong. He may be
     smart, but he is a very
angry little man.

Down is the natural
     direction for that to fail.
Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!

This sometimes results
     in the alternative name
"furthest past the post"."

Saying that there would
     be a state religion is
also ludicrous.

He did take little
     pauses after each feature,
but the screams didn't come.

If you could just keep
     our mouth shut there would be less
text to begin with.

Both don't want to raise
     corporate tax rates and both will
raise the national debt.

The Chinese can do
     this because they export WAY
more than they import.

you're obviously
     trying to MILK as many cows
as you can off this.

Ukraine does not pay
     shit for gas, and owes several
billions to Russia.

They all stem from our
     desire to be special
on a cosmic scale.

Both don't want to raise
     corporate tax rates and both will
raise the national debt.

Who said anything
     about giving more power
to the government?

When most celebs voice
     up they seem to be almost
fringe crazy talkers.

Say man. Hey baby.
     Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah? Yeah, she's ugly.

Yeah? Yeah, she's ugly.
     Yeah, she's ugly but she sure
can cook. Yeah?. Okay.

Right, but take a stroll
     around lower Manhattan
and see what you find.

Fight back Obama.
     It's Washington. Nice guys don't
win in Washington.

He comes back from work
     late, even to the extent
on working weekends.

And figuring out
     that mosquitoes spread disease.
Other than that, what?

Other than that, what?
     [deleted] My house actually
went up more than that.

Hopefully they broke
     the mould when they made this one!
No, it's not just you.

Who knows, maybe they'll
     link stock price to investor
speculation next.

If I can do it,
     and I am one stubborn SOB,
we can all do it.

Microsoft themselves
     got hacked in a similar
fashion some time back.

"Say Cheese"! And carrots,
     and corn, and whatever else
you had for breakfast.

[deleted] I think
     the conservatives' thinking
was just the opposite.

The rich avoid most
     taxes anyway, so why
worry about them?