Reddit Haikus

I really think noise
     cancelling is necessary
on a long plane flight.

If you do explore,
     expect to wear some shoes you
don't mind ruining.

[deleted] Call me
     weird by the heal of a loaf
is my favorite part.

Whether it will work,
     I'm not sure, but I really
don't think he wants war.

If you screw up, don't
     guilt trip over it, just do
better the next time.

Business owners ask
     that I work their company
Holiday party.

Hard work alone won't
     get you out of poverty.
Those days are long gone.

I was just saying
     that I dislike them as much
as everyone else.

Maybe she's Jewish
     and the her date kept saying
crude Holocaust jokes.

Edit: *gasp* Indeed
     I am mistaken. Not sure
what I was thinking!

EDIT: Just to be
     clear, from here on out, what should
I put the points in?

I don't remember
     there being any playoff
games since, anyway.

Aw, I wish I could
     see my dog play in the snow.
(No snow where we are.

I've had it happen
     late at night in a restaurant
and it's not that bad.

Am I risking some
     arthritis later in life
or is this a myth?

Either way, he does
     seem a bit of a toxic
choice at the moment.

I wasn't doubting
     you, I was simply pointing
out a shitty post.

I guess the US is
     perfectly fine according
to that logic. Phew.

Quality of life
     is far more important than
quantity of years.

In this case, it seems
     he kicked it a bunch and then
straight up sat on it.

Remember that time
     when these were known as zebras?
That was a good time.

The part where you said
     the robot tells you to fuck
yourself and hangs up?

It's bad press, it can
     sometimes lead to reviews from
outside entities.

I'm not quite sure how
     to explain to my mom why
this is popular.

Keep your chin up, but
     if you want to have a good
cry, go right ahead.

[deleted] awesome
     typo [deleted] Ahh, damn,
sorry about that.

I would party hard
     for all of eternity
in the after life.

I'll bet your teacher
     has never heard a speech on
this subject before.

These guys bleed yellow
     and green and most of them grew
up in Wisconsin.

YOU CAN'T SHOOT ME LIKE
     THAT! OH TAKE THAT I KNIFED YOU
IN THE ASS YOU FAG!

I know Columbus
     isn't a huge place but things
like that blow my mind.

Yes I made a new
     account, TO GET AWAY FROM
YOU HARASSING ME.

[deleted] DUDE WHAT
     THE HELL. I HADN'T FINISHED
THE IRAQ WAR YET.

It will cause issues
     with your history even if
things are going great.

Scientists are working
     on ways to determine if
the earth is flat though.

"I wouldn't date *you*.
     No offense." Seriously,
girls, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

I must eat. I can
     stop eating, but I will not
be free from hunger.

However, my wife
     is bi and has a girlfriend
in another state.

Jackie Chan! Dammit!
     Off topic but I would hate
to be that girls dad.

Good Knives. You Really
     need a set of fantastic
Knives. Did I say Knives?

I've got news for you,
     Amy. You are a mutant.
No, seriously.

I didn't stop. So why
     does he keep introducing
the bill in the house?

Remember, when there
     is government censorship,
it applies to all.

They're allowed to be
     silly and not have to take
shit like this for it.

Fake suede is iffy.
     I have clarks and I love em.
You shut your whore mouth.

I was wondering
     the same thing, about how it's
considered a tour.

There's supposedly
     some fixes in this week's patch
and some more next week.

I have heard about
     the hot springs, that is going
on the list for sure.

I don't care if you
     fuck up a few more times if
I'm more excited.

Canadian here.
     Still have my whole dick. Good Luck!
Quit two months ago.

Then just one more work
     day till my 5-day sit around
the house vacation.

What advantage do
     you have after the first shot
if the deer is dead?

THIS! very much this!!
     as joey would say, their site
was quite.. abysmal!!!!

Also the weather
     here (snowstorms, freezing winters)
makes that hard as well.

yeah, ultimate scout
     killer too, heh Goddamn it,
was that this weekend??

I fail to see how
     being left by someone you
like makes you better.

Yes, I have found that,
     although most people want *me*
to have *their* baby.

My expectations
     are not as unreasonable
as yours perhaps... Good.

My oldest daughter
     only had about twenty
words when she turned three.

Anything you do
     to your PC will still get
outdated faster.

Agreed, it has no
     symmetry really and some
peculiar panels.

The Republicans
     offer no alternative,
they simply obstruct.

You have made it clear
     through your actions that you are
not to be trusted.

And you missed the point
     that it easily could've
gone the other way.

Now, for all the knee
     jerk reactions people are
making in comments.

WOW [deleted] Just
     maybe try to see things from
another angle.

[deleted] I'm not
     sure that salted apples would
be very tasty.

When you are ready,
     take them off and get into
the pool right away.

Humans have really
     bad diets, tons of sugars
and acidic drinks.

But yeah they are way
     easier to deal with than
the morning sickness.

If it does, Valve is
     really doing their job well!
Props to them. Or... BING!

I'll be there barring
     some major schedule conflict.
Leroy. no it's me.

I used a stocking
     hat to hold mine into place
for over a year.

Is that pretty much
     all there is to do once you've
gone through the checklist?

It is obvious
     that the makers of the show
have done their research.

I made it out from
     St. Louis for Saturdays
game and it was great.

When I was younger,
     social situations were
new and intriguing.

Other things to try,
     as mentioned are updating
your graphics drivers.

Message me if you
     ever want to talk, and thanks
again for sharing.

Yeah, don't inject it.
     I'm pretty sure you'll end up
in the hospital.

The Church has always
     emphasized faith and reason
working together.

Not. Realize. This. Was.
     A. Thing. I feel so damn bad
for laughing at this.

The Bonobo will
     not develop like humans
did for two reasons.

Usually the urge
     vanishes and you can wait
till the next craving.

You definitely
     will have some issues that need
to be addressed then.

To bad she has both.
     But good idea. probably.
At least, I think so.

One of my pet peeves
     is unprofessional or
distracted servers.

Honestly if you
     could get a top flight Center
for him you do it.

no that's poppins, you're
     thinking of what pirates call
Elizabeth Swann.

I bet you haven't
     even looked at the data
I just provided.

and took off my pants.
     I believe that's called the, "Can't
touch this." formation.

It has gone on from
     being "THE WORST POSSIBLE
THING that could happen!"

Obviously you
     did because we are looking
at the picture now.

It is, or should be,
     a recognition of what
is, not what you want.

I do that a lot
     too, and often don't even
think twice about it.

If you're gonna ask
     for attention, you better
be able to ski.

Why should a wife get
     the STDs her husband
infects himself with?

That way she has bear
     the financial burden just
as much as I do.

Fucking fantastic.
     The more I learn about him,
the more I'm impressed.

I'm a pianist,
     so I guess that I do quite
ok naturally.

Who gang rapes a girl
     and goes to jail and murders
another inmate?

There aren't that many
     champions more versatile
than Riven top lane.

And you think I should
     trash the open hat and try
and make a new one?

Subtract. Sorry bro,
     Austin is full. Exactly.
Start with a small piece.

Mine just gets stuck on
     loading when I'm trying to play
any of the games.

Are these the only
     times you've brought other people
into your sex life?

Sadly that is where
     critical thinking is lost.
Was this down to you?

Looked like I'd been tossed
     into a bag of angry
cats when I got out.

Unnecessary.
     That's part of the search results.
That's about it. Yeah.

maybe eat before
     you smoke and make sure to drink
plenty of fluids?

oh well, i'll take it.
     And that kids is why I don't
live with my parents.

Why not? I promise
     I won't leave anything on
the seat like last time.

We see that it has
     proven to be obsolete
regarding the "good".

Really? But what would
     he do on a playground? Right?
I'm just down the street.

vote this to the top.
     Its the only good value
I've seen in this thread.

wondering if you're
     just sensitive to sudden
altitude changes.

Check spine? Yes, but you
     have to go through the business
website to get it.

Keep that in mind when
     complaining there is no way
to reach the masses.

[*advice animals*
     **how do they work? **](//#magnets) Hah!
It's brand new to me.

believing that there
     is more to this world than just
the ordinary.

Since you seem to know
     what you're doing, I'm open
to your suggestions.

Little discussed fact:
     you will inadvertently
shit during labor.

Old video, but
     I'm glad there are good people
in the world. But but!

Since when do people
     think corporations who claim
to be good are good?

a mouth is a mouth.
     I sold my financed car just
after a few months.

I would feel more shocked
     if police officers did
their jobs correctly.

You may refer here
     to see the various bits
and pieces we wear.

You needn't even
     use the exploit to achieve
ungodly power.

All this to say this:
     Welfare is supposed to help
you when you NEED it.

[If you pretended
     to have a heart attack right
after you said that.

[deleted] It's not
     the people's job to vote their
politicians out.

How do you do that?
     By asking questions. How do
you ask good questions?

Everything happens
     in split second. SH jumps.
Watson sees him jump.

I'm the only one
     who goes every week because
I own all the games.

At first glance I thought
     the bottom guy had his head
up the top guys ass.

[deleted] Okay.
     So neither of them ever
actually used a chair.

Watching that almost
     makes me want the 49ers to win
on Sunday. Almost.

If you want I'll send
     you a PM and you can
post the link next week.

I think the reverse
     crashes are cool but the white
noise sweeps are too loud.

As it is they don't
     so common sense would dictate
not to change the law.

If she seems upset
     at any given point, talk
to her about it.

Great work. Good links too.
     How's Uranus? I think you
meant "snake". Lol.

Not sure about this...
     but enough Jewish doctors
to spread this practice?

That's what I'm saying;
     I do that with virtual
desktops, have for years.

Make her cum (almost)
     every night to mentally
make it up to her.

Dan Dan the Doo Doo
     Man, if he can't do it, no
one can! To what end?

People are always
     going to post something I'm
not interested in.

It's not terribly
     hard to save a few dollars
to afford highschool.

Very successful.
     Thanks, I'm new to this I didn't
know that existed.

If he can't do it,
     he'll tell you so and point you
to someone who can!

Do you understand
     Russian or Swahili by
just listening to it?

If needed, I would
     reach out to any of you
in your time of need.

Mine was bad at first
     but after about six months
became really good.

That was my first post
     on here, so I don't really
know what I'm doing.

None of the above.
     Actually I hung up the phone...
But yeah pretty much.

Only Very Good
     copies for me from now on.
Wallpaper link, please!

There are easier
     ways to learn all the notes than
just playing a lot.

Bulky clothes that could
     conceal a suicide vest.
Those are the big ones.

Although, I'm making
     what I feel should be average
for a college grad.

It also depends
     on the professor on what
strategy I take.

I certainly didn't
     mean to say, "Kubrick's the man,
no one else comes close".

I'm going to go
     celebrate and take a nap
for all my hard work!

Any performance
     problems you are having are
related to flash.

I loved that fucking
     pig, but the new commercial
does nothing for me.

I am pretty sure
     he had to write a paper
or two in college.

I tried to make its
     own post but it hit the spam
filter or something.

But I also don't
     give a flying fuck about
what they have gone through.

Anyways, was there
     anything on that list you
are interested in?

Well then it looks like
     you kids need to find a new
leader for your cause.

That was the hardest
     thing i've ever had to deal
with, emotionally.

Confirmed on my sink
     and my bathtub that this is
absolutely false.

It's near one but not
     really in it, kind of on
the outskirts of it.

You know what would be
     sweeter than diversity
and integration?

So I guess I'm not
     surprised that the result you
got doesn't make sense.

Attach another
     to where the bundled wire goes
up to the headphone.

I'm also not trying
     to cause any arguments,
just stating my points.

[deleted] Gators
     are ten times as better than
any bandana.

Though it is actually
     part of my mother's worst slap
in the face moment.

I still don't really
     get what that means, or know what
concern trolling is.

We stayed at picnic
     the first night and saw many
dolphins and some sharks.

My boyfriend would lose
     his shit if I got something
like this done for him!

Spring for the extra
     metal connector and you
should be good to go.

I can't play right now
     but maybe someone that can
can fact check for us.

i will have to try
     this when i am strong enough
to quit will do, thanks!

That goes directly
     against the facts presented
in the article.

Sorry, you are too
     poor to pay the toll, you don't
get to drive to work.

But, these are pros who
     do this stuff so much they can
do it in their sleep.

That could be messy.
     Not just for Excel, but just
period IMO.

So, I think about
     thinking, which is related
to philosophy?

Also he suggests
     that their methods are not all
equally useful.

More recently, I've
     had weirder power problems.
This is a new one.

That isn't being
     pedantic, though it is not
very well argued.

Tall people and caves
     don't mix, but for some reason
I keep going back.

Because I thought when
     you said "ugly", you just meant
the graphics were bad.

The keys take longer
     to engage and disengage
then other switches.

I think one credit
     hour equates to about two
german "credit points".

You rescued him, right?
     He doesn't like her natural,
healthy pH though.

I find their Lazy
     Mutt to be very tasty
for a farmhouse ale.

The United States
     is a Constitutional
Federal Republic.

They're not, and you will
     have to stand up for them if
you want to post them.

You should paint few red
     and carry a few of them
strapped around your waist.