Reddit Haikus

That screaming lady
     would be my bitchy 6th
grade science teacher.

If enough people
     are voting that way, then both
parties will lean left.

And the horrible
     spot on the Ware run which should
have been a 1st down.

Ha. My personal
     favorite us the one of you
and Elijah Wood.

More like eating bugs
     because there is nothing else
to stay alive on.

WHY WOULD THAT BE ON
     MY FRONT PAGE? We, as a whole,
are sucking lately.

The butter would keep
     forever, and she would buy
these huge sticks of it.

No, how would the short
     ugly bald guy ever get
the pretty girl then?

I MADE the other
     comic and still up voted
this one. Nice fix man!

Silly me. I think
     the original one is
more of a real song..

You didn't mention fish;
     the best source of high protein
and low fat. Thank you!

Gonna shove our head
     up our ass and never solve
the problem are we?

I understand how
     marketing works, and that's *why*
I'm confused by this.

Yes. Sanda Bullock
     being awkward is really
rather delightful.

They did nail some things,
     like "so cheap", but pretty much
all Asians say that.

[deleted] I will
     ask her to clarify that,
but she's a smart kid.

I can tell you what
     boards *I* like, but that doesn't
do *you* any good.

I think the general
     consensus here is to run
as fast as I can.

Unfortunately
     our society uses
these drugs to "party".

I thought, from reading
     the title, that your dump was
actually dumping her.

In a bar i see
     this guy i have been lusting
after for ages.

Are you in his shoes?
     Do you know his specifics?
I don't think you do.

Whew, thanks. I would turn
     around in the depths and these
things would just be there.

Sure enough the girl
     in the front seat starts going
down on my buddy.

I'd love for something
     like this, but I'll put my bets
on it being fake.

That is my default
     response to someone I do
not know the sex of.

You need to gather
     yourself, gain some self respect
and call him on this.

He's the last person
     to pray for earthly success
or recognition.

Don't try to change his
     message to what you want you
stupid piece of shit.

I'd rather suspect
     there's something wrong if I've got
such problems with it.

And why pay two life
     and a card to stop you from
taking two damage?

He can never die.
     No one in Hollywood wants
to talk about it.

Talking about it:
     protected speech. Doing it:
illegal and wrong.

What about the top
     comment and the previous
top comment?? Just... wow!

If you can't afford
     to tip at a place you can't
afford to go there.

The underwater
     locale might be tricky, but
*I'd* give it a try!

You're an idiot
     for forgetting the thermal
paste **(not sarcasm)**.

[deleted] Ok
     I'm currently trying to run
with this idea.

Just saying, she should
     come to Texas for college.
Just an idea.

She said no. She tried
     to be nice about it, but
the answer was no.

She tried to be nice
     about it, but the answer
was no. The worst part?

Will do Yep, i've lost
     count of my friends and ex friends
with DUIs as well.

When I volunteered
     to drive us somewhere they both
got in the backseat.

People seem to be
     making assumptions based on
their first impression.

"We" know for a fact
     that it's not fake? Who is we?
Conspiracy nuts?

The contracting work
     I do is for medical
imaging servers.

You mean people were
     actually allowed to control
their own vehicles?

LOUD NOISES I would
     really like to talk to you
privately sometime...

What if he didn't know
     the area and didn't know
about those toilets?

Also, a great school
     district, if that matters or
might matter someday.

In other terms, it's
     normally ugly men who try
way out of their league.

What? Do you think wall
     street isn't making the laws,
not even a bit?

The fact that Romney
     used the word "kids" is pretty
embarrassing, though.

Well, not only do
     we know, idiot, but you
got tricked anyway.

The name of our star
     is Sun (in english), there are
no other "true" Suns.

It's close regardless,
     and those specific figures
are a few years old.

Do you know where else
     to buy tickets that isn't
through ticketmaster?

When new jack's music
     hit i was praying he would
still have the trash can.

I know I would call
     to make sure my guns don't end
up in the wrong hands.

My Junior Deacon
     is from a Bloomington lodge
by way of transfer.

It was just fooling
     around at first, not knowing
what was going on.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
     WHY WHY? How is this even
remotely funny?

Granted, they're probably
     sixth or seventh cousins but
that's not my main goal.

It would be a great
     if you could elaborate on
why you feel that way.

Well, it is more space
     efficient than just stacking
up on glass bottles.

That's the only time
     i realized how exposed one
is in a jeepney.

Ok, thanks for that,
     sorry for the snafu nope
[deleted] Like 2chan?

I don't know how old
     you are, but typically, there's
no reason to rush.

Bigger slices are
     gonna go into the pan
before smaller ones.

Neither of these two
     actions are going to be
easy to achieve.

Competition ends
     at some point and the spoils go
to those who survive.

Both HID and MIDI
     devices are limited
by these same factors.

This is exactly
     the information I was
looking for, thank you.

Ya it's great if you
     have a high resolution,
otherwise it sucks.

Didn't read your post, but
     I saw your name and started
laughing my ass off.

Join Goons. My money
     is that this will be their next
Hi Sec grief target.

Done and done! Good luck!
     Does he own a monkey named
George? wow, thanks so much!

People get upset
     when you remind them that their
beliefs are bullshit.

this would only work
     with many other changes
to our tax system.

And yes that would be
     all types of desecration,
not just of corpses.

All the same, I hope
     Baltimore shows Brady where
to tuck it next week.

Any chance you can
     make these into higher res
for my wallpaper?

Do they just pretend
     and set them that way to spark
this sort of debate?

The evidence is
     that there is no evidence
to support this claim.

I personally don't
     like kids, some are cute and all
but they aren't for me.

Simply Red standing
     by I hope it slows them down
for a little while.

Rainbow Dash I think
     would be too much of a lone
wolf to be tied down.

MOTHER NATURE JUST
     PISSED HER PANTSUIT! Yes, also
the name of this style.

The dollar being
     the world's reserve currency
has benefits. Hi!

Yes, I am saying
     we are born both agnostic
and atheistic.

This is honestly
     the one thing I am looking
forward to the most.

I was forced to choose
     "all" so your survey results
will be a bit skewed.

couple times a day,
     while washing hands, or waiting
in line or something.

As an undergrad
     chem major it's one option
that I'm looking at.

Plenty of small shops,
     a ton of local restaurants,
and quite a few bars.

Liberals won't do it.
     Conservatives won't do not.
Ron Paul will. Funny.

Anyone who goes
     in to this wanting a king's
riches is insane.

If it was legal,
     fighters wouldn't face away
from their opponents.

I'm hoping these are
     more complex, because that is
what I am seeking.

Either they were all
     lying about, or she went
and bought them. Crazy.

But the Bible is
     not God's word. It's proven false.
Forget Abraham.

I am giving him
     the choice he apparently
doesn't know he has.

I previously
     bought my honey at a state
fair for around $5/lb.

This. A lot of us
     guys will clean the pipes before
seeing a lady.

I thought cats hated
     dogs having someone run their
fingers through my hair.

[deleted] "Your dumb"
     and "Your so retarded" are
two of my favorites.

You take this home, throw
     into a pot, add some broth
and a potato.

Again, this is not
     always the case (see Enron).
Source? Also: Awesome!

I went to Conan
     when he was in Chicago
several years ago.

This is wicked neat,
     where did you get it (if you
don't mind me asking)?

I actually went through
     my gallery and handpicked
the photos myself.

I still can't believe
     we have a grocery store named
after a "Mr.

thanks for entering!
     You are added to the list
Have you met Mr.

True, and yet I don't
     see any point in meeting
that hatred with hate.

Not every native
     is an alcoholic (wow
just wow racist much?

Now, my resume speaks
     for itself and the efforts
are what builds the list.

But people are shocked
     when they find out that I don't
like Lord of the Rings.

Finally I get
     to share something extremely
weird about myself!

I ended up just
     taking a nap on the couch
in the living room.

I feel insulted
     that architects are mentioned
before engineers.

This is speaking from
     experience, and from friends
in the industry.

I simply pointed
     to statistics explaining
why we all said that.

I would recommend
     that you get something set up,
and make sure it works.

Bash WoW all you want,
     but frankly, it is a much
better designed game.

SHITTY?!!?! Not just cheap,
     but free or trading labor
for boarding and meals.

is it because you
     find them attractive and you
want to turn them on?

When he had the best
     gig ever and does that shit.
This guy is a douche.

This is not a drill.
     I can't remember which way
I was taught in school.

And I sure as hell
     won't take them Multitasking
trainer v0.95 Not true.

Or something like that.
     I'd love to try a Bacon
Shake. I am a man.

But you need to be
     able to take some buddies
for a ride with them.

I realize that sounds
     like a stupid question, but
hey, we're just talking.

Why don't I ever
     find anything cool like this..
I hate where I live.

I think you may be
     delusional, there are no
edits on my post.

After a while, you
     just hear the same stories just
from different people.

I have been going
     through exact same battle. First.
There is a way out.

Accept this moment
     as it is. Look out. Listen.
Your senses function.

It is completely
     tasteless, but additionally,
it's just a bad game.

I hope it's at least
     as entertaining for you,
as it is for me.

you just went from luke
     warm to hot More of a set
up thing I supposed.

I think it's even
     called "the Situation Room".
This has to be fake.

Then, after training,
     they tell us to get out there
and start selling. How?

So a week goes by
     and I have three appointments
during the weekend.

[Again, this is not
     news to those that have followed
the FED for awhile.

As you can see, I'm
     still pretty fucking bitter
about the whole thing.

I suppose I just
     heard about it and wanted
to see if I could.

The faster you can
     exhaust things, the faster you
can put things back in.

I don't use the stuff.
     I think it's nasty. I just
wash and wear clean clothes.

I don't give a shit
     about what your imam says.
**Respect must be earned.

The lack of sleep is
     due to being passionate
about medicine.

Thank you! I will watch
     this next time I have nothing
to do. What bullshit.

This is a moot point
     anyways that has nothing
to do with the fight.

Big walls keeping all
     the mobs out, different districts
for different players.

The air in Houston
     might have cleared up for a day
or two. Yes, I am.

Accelerate is
     the change in velocity,
not just the increase.

If that is the case
     all prison guards ought to go
to prison, oh wait.

I still knew that deep
     down inside, he was nothing
but a damn bully.

It was a great smoke.
     The wrapper was perfect &
it felt like velvet.

:P People posting
     about trees are welcome too.
Everyone's welcome!

Salty milk and coins.
     I don't know, but that model
looks ridiculous.

A lot more projects
     are as I've described than are
the Linux Kernel.

It won't be subject
     to Social Security
Tax, etc.

The Giants also
     have a solid run game if
Bradshaw is healthy.

If you prepare well
     and study hard, you will get
A's on everything.

Far more than they could
     afford to record by name,
that much is certain.

If you can not get
     home to do so, you will be
cleaning up a lot.

Maybe this Ra was
     terrible but he never
once hit me with it.

And I can't find our
     Jon Sabia or Jovan
Sales in the credits.

The people who need
     the most help have the hardest
time asking for it.

Look! All these other
     companies are evil too,
so it is OK!

Girl: Is that a gun
     in your pocket or are you
happy to see me?

Taking prenatal
     vitamins can help your hair
and nails grow a LOT.

When you start clicking
     random repeatedly it's
time to pack it in.

The scientific
     method doesn't care about
your reputation.

Keep it up you'll be
     much happier in the long
run, I know I am.

Sooner or later
     I bet we see flip elves but
not this time around.

If we win, it just
     means Baylor had a bad game,
not that we played well.

Thank the alcohol.
     [deleted] no Pretty sure
that's an ocelot.

heh that was actually
     kinda funny [deleted]
No problem at all.

Great anecdote you
     have given us supporting
your experience.

Alternatively,
     get the seller to agree
to pay for repairs.

Maybe then we'd be
     able to do things like use
the metric system.

Is that one of those
     Japanese women that are
basically your slave?

Oh man that sounds weird
     but soon good at the same time.
Why you mess with brain?

I was once threatened
     with a marriage proposal
at this place, also.

So not only does
     this piss off the users, but
the sponsors as well.

The perfect world filled
     with thousands of poisonous
plants and animals?

Have they found any
     survivors inside the ship
in these areas?

Because people suck.
     Communism relies on
people not sucking.

since in my LP
     where one jumped in my chicken
chimney and killed them.

It's not obvious
     at all that you need to drink
while in Australia.

You are sober now
     and have a choice, something you
don't have while drinking.

How can you ever
     know how to do something if
you haven't tried it.

My mom used to cut
     big squares out of fleece and sew
the ends together.

If you rush it you
     run the risk that he will throw
every thing back up.

Just listen to 'Cross'
     all the way through and tell us
if you still think that.

Morten Lauridsen
     is a very popular
choral composer.

Did you just cover
     up the vent by the kitchen
doorway or move it?

I just stopped going
     to Tims as it was getting
way too expensive.

I was like, 'Oh no
     my sensibilities'. Nope.
I thought the same thing.

I really think noise
     cancelling is necessary
on a long plane flight.