Reddit Haikus

You should paint few red
     and carry a few of them
strapped around your waist.

no sorry, are you
     referring to the pressure
tester microscopes?

I do not know or
     care about any of his
previous campaigns.

I absolutely
     agree with your assessment
for missing pieces.

So he walks around
     in front and just stops, standing
between me and girl.

Just tried to submit
     this link, and found out OP did
so two days ago.

You think that you can't
     root for your divisions team
in the Super Bowl?

She learned her lesson
     last time she agreed to take
care of Sweetie Bell.

I mean, their country
     and their culture is a huge
part of who they are.

my family is from
     the region and i do not
have fond memories.

Am I the only
     one that things Kinsler is not
the best lead off guy?

You need to be old
     enough to recognize why
you're doing it though.

My friend has a pair
     in brown, and I'll vouch for their
quality and look.

Seriously though,
     how the hell do I get her
to sit on my lap?!

Do you really think
     I would have been successful
by attacking them?

Definitely not
     the slimmest shirts you can find
but not bad either.

The minds of women
     were once thought to be unfit
for education.

Yep Except it'll be
     Jim's time to shine Sucker Punch
was pretty awful.

Because by fucking
     with him, it made other kids
think you were awesome.

Those are great. I've heard
     that Charlatan before but
missed out on the tape.

High school. I would chug
     this kid's bottled water right
after he bought it.

Place note in contract
     that manufacturer can
easily ignore.

Now I am getting
     on a bit, I find I am
doing the same thing.

Thank you for sharing
     this one. I like the body.
The jaw is too high.

Not paying taxes
     is basically stealing off
everyone who does.

If this never comes
     to fruition I will be
very, very sad.

I'm finally old.
     Fork. FORK. Thanks. I'll continue
with the sarcasm....

Better lower those
     long term rates and ~~fire up~~ buy
more printing presses.

Smile are contagious
     and put people at easy
and make them happy.

I don't need a loud
     bike to let everybody
know how cool I am.

i'm gonna copy
     pasta your comment i hope
that's alright with you.

I think the only
     people worthy of saying
that are the players.

We had a good laugh
     at it, but it still was lame.
[SHE'S A WITCH! BURN HER!

If anything, just
     throw a legitimate first
aid kit in the car.

There is substantial
     evidence that Iran is
developing nukes.

You might be saying
     to yourself while reading this,
"I feel great right now".

More importantly
     the combo would then have blue.
Blue would mean control.

It seems fine to me,
     why fix what isn't broken?
No. But i'm at work.

because some of us
     don't waste our whole fucking life
on a computer.

Weed is weed, and if
     I wanted to look at it,
I'd look at my own.

IMO anyway.
     This happens to my wheaton,
Watson, all the time.

Then it became much
     worse for a few years, and now
things are good again.

Wanted to tell him
     to listen to this, but ill
just ask u instead.

If you want to watch
     at an hour that's convenient,
you have to shell out.

Just doing your part
     to help with the solution
is at least something.

It should be rather
     obvious how he puts up
with it. It is theft.

(I drove about 1300k's
     last weekend) I hate driving
in traffic to work.

Also Micky Mouse
     and Adolf Hitler will not
be allowed to vote.

It breaks into small
     chunks that don't slice a body
up (it's safety glass).

For instance, do you
     believe in disciplining
children (or others?)?

Please video tape
     the response, I'm sure they'll be
very responsive.

Name a time where it's
     okay to carry around
10k in cash monies?

That's pit all the way
     and the black coloration
(and square head) is lab.

You also have all
     the STDs. All of them.
Humans and lawyers.

They all adopted
     marine animals for their
biology class.

You seem to forget
     the last game of the season
where we gave up two.

-Don't be a zombie:
     This is one of the biggest
tips I can offer.

Just because it's not
     big near YOU doesn't mean it's
not big anywhere.

I should have put more
     emphasis on the second
part of my question.

In Let Yourself Be
     Huge, you started using some
vocals in the track.

Call it what you want,
     it isn't realistic
in my opinion.

and do you think you'll
     have to increase it at some
point in the future?

I'm sitting here trying
     to figure out why you feel
guilty or sorry.

holy crap you are
     fulfilling my "Innocent
yet naughty" fetish.

Thank you, o tattooed
     beauty I can verify
I heard it last night.

Centrally located,
     not too far from the beaches
and everything else.

Can someone explain
     how the joystick seems to work
when flying these planes?

Congratulations!
     well, time to get a little
more worldly knowledge.

It's a no brainer
     that welfare recipients
should be drug tested.

People write "would of"
     because they don't mean "would have",
it's not "have" for them.

As though the Packers
     are "supposed" to win that game.
No, they're really not.

It's a shame, because
     the rest of the movie ranged
from average to great.

They know how to hold
     their liquor and read a good
book at the same time.

As in, "yeah, I get
     that it's murder and it's wrong,
but this is MORE WRONG.

There were a startling
     number of dropped passes from
packers receivers.

too soon currently
     trying to pull the same thing off.
any suggestions?

Early in the game
     my character is getting
mauled by a snow bear.

(Offended?) Also,
     what if they yelled classic lines
from John Wayne movies?

I know what you mean,
     and it's awesome that you would
include me in that.

This time it was fish
     swimming around and she was
just fascinated.

I'll punch my roommate
     in the face if she behaves
when she's at the vet.

I think if this is
     their attitude, either child
would be mistreated.

They should put you through
     to the proper department
and take it from there.

And then he explains...
     More than anything this sounds
like a nerve problem.

I am computing
     mutual information
between pairs of words.

SECOND, ARE YOU BRAVE?????????
     HOORAY! We've already been
down this road it seems.

But if i could get
     waves to work just fine i would
use it all the time.

This is a common
     misconception, and I'm glad
that you touched on that.

I was wondering
     when the next installment was
going to show up.

He is slipping though
     and that's a worrying sign.
and covered in crabs.

I've started the Bridge
     to 10K program, so my next
goal is to run that!

Guys, we discovered
     Atheism. Yeah, it really
threw me for a loop.

I would also buy
     the coffee at a coffee
shop, if I were you.

This random system
     may be an AI system or
one of your systems.

I still love him just
     as much as I did before,
if not even more.

Most of all, don't think
     that it has to do with you
or the things you do.

I guess wise, older
     yet handsome bearded man turn
the gay on in me.

I think there are some
     weapons that do D12 damage.
Battle ax, maybe?

You want us to shave
     literally half our bodies,
what do you expect?

Just woke up in back
     there, did we all do something
that I don't recall?

[deleted] No day
     is complete without at least
one Wayne's World reference.

I been using 3M
     screen protector this last go
around I like it.

It almost feels like
     glue on my finger at times
the drag is so slow.

It's ok to take
     from one but not the other?
Is that your point here?

It just seems like shit
     was thrown together and not
really well thought out.

I apologize
     for all the mean shit I may
have thought about you.

I did an oral
     history project for a gay
men's health clinic once.

Brain fart. I had just
     assumed that meant is order
number or something.

Well one time I was
     bored and decided to go
to the shooting range?

It's not everywhere
     but it's been there for awhile.
This sounds amazing.

I played with shitty
     decks like this for a long time
before i clued in.

Yeah, I remember
     watching this and going, "Wow!
This is fucking dope!"

This is fucking dope!"
     It was probably my first time
listening to Common.

If abstinence means
     nothing to you, there is no
reason to do it.

Goldson came up huge
     in coverage and Whitner was
huge in run support.

But I think the No
     Child Left Behind Regs were bad
for education.

Sorry if this is
     coming off ignorant, I'm
from Canada, eh.

I tend to suggest
     the case a lot when someone
needs a roomy case.

You are not required
     to assist them in any
way and they know it.

You're either playing
     dumb to be a troll, or you
really are that dumb.

it simply makes you
     feel more of whatever you
want to at the time.

it was real enough
     that I was emotionally
affected by it.

Little Bill (William
     H. Macy) in Boogie Nights.
Kurt: What's wrong with you?

Get that shit checked out
     and don't waste time sitting on
the bench over it.

What was she charged with?
     What was she convicted of?
Perhaps that's the point.

This comic is bad,
     all of your comics are bad,
and you should feel bad.

It's like announcing,
     "I'm about to tell a joke
and here's the punchline.

lol what game
     are you hunting for brother?
No. I bought the game.

Reallocated.
     DAT BRAKE LEVER??? You're welcome.
My gift to mankind.

Because all that does
     is make it awesome where you're
never using it.

I'll be sure to ask.
     Can you buy replacement parts
for bikes from this time?

doubly** Anyone
     who's interested can comment
below with questions.

Really? Ya don't say.
     [deleted] Say "it's my house,
I don't have to pay".

I'm really afraid
     that I will screw something up
with the bowl cleaning.

Well, I guess there's no
     arguing with that without
sounding like a dick.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

I usually use
     the top to the Pam cooking
spray to make a hole.

The footage will then
     be used to later to save
face with the public?

Sherlock may not care
     about what the public thinks
but he knows John does.

I guess people now
     are starting to realize it.
That's pretty awesome.

How exactly would
     we "exercise off" our poor
voting decisions?

From the looks of things,
     it sounds like they did a great
job doing just that.

I'd like to compare.
     Because to me it just sounds
like stock sound effects.

She would bunny hop
     through it when it was too deep
for her to walk through.

You are a cop you
     don't need to put that shit on.
YOU'RE A FUCKING COP!

(even if it just
     flies through them, you'd see it fly
through them more often).

He caught and held me
     by the ankle, got bored, then
dropped me on my head.

Hard to imagine
     anything but little girls
at that show. Hello.

Fag. [deleted] No,
     the worst is when it falls back
into the damn jug.

There are many games
     that were ruined (to me) by
half baked successors.

I think a really
     dark, almost mahogany
would look good on you.

Thank you for taking
     the time to tell me why you
disagree with me.

I have never worked
     with weights before and am not
sure which ones to buy.

Ok, right here, right
     now *prove* that *any* woman
can have sex right now.

I can't swallow that.
     Huge ass to be a fan of!
That's Taylor all right.

Making fun of lil
     wayne and scores of black people
all at the same time.

For gear, get a DOT
     helmet, jacket with armor,
and pants with armor.

Ouch. You're kidding, right?
     American Chopper, Gold
Rush and Hogs Gone Wild?

If you want to do
     these sorts of things by yourself
just try them one day.

I'd suspect people
     at bars or concerts may try
to chat you up though.

Riding in the wet
     tosses a lot of water
up and off the road.

More and more women
     seem to be choosing career
over children too.

Displays almost no
     range (not saying she doesn't
have any). Thank you.

I see. I suppose
     I don't really have a use
for most of that stuff.

Now you're calling me
     ignorant for insisting
on the citation?

The Captain there said
     that the charts didn't show the rocks
but this is not true.

Id doesn't help though
     that most of the minis are
absurdly detailed.

We have to go back!
     No problem. Any other
questions about this?

If it's religious
     insight I'm looking for, I'll
read some Aquinas.

She's a bit frigid
     I guess. He promoted her
and everything! Chicks.

Spend a bit of time
     in a place and things will start
working themselves out.

They aren't dead are they?
     You keep saying "raise taxes,"
well ok. Then what?

The Uncle Jesse?
     Finally someone's making
some sense around here.

I know it seems light,
     but we could have pressed charges
to make it far worse.

People want to see
     your face, not how you're goofing
around with others.

Start learning to sleep
     with a night mask if you can't
sleep when it's light out.

[deleted] I walked
     in on a girl doing coke
off the toilet seat.

He take up a whole
     episode being brilliant
to change a headlight.

i want to touch it,
     i want to touch it real bad...
but i know better.

I miss that cartoon!!
     It seems to me you probably
just have a weak grip.

Comparing a dress
     shoe to a sneaker is not
apples to apples.

It kind of creeps me
     out, but I'm not really sure
how to deal with it.

It probably only
     pays minimum wage, but you
get to be outdoors.

I know the trigger
     was drinking and really thought
I could handle it.

Please learn some reading
     comprehension before you
call people stupid.

It would be my life's
     goal to figure everything
else out, with God's help.

That's the greatest thing
     I've seen all day! Thank you sir
you have made my day.

I'm gonna go check
     this place out tomorrow cute
baby & jersey.

So him being not
     on a team wouldn't really
stop him from streaming.

80-90C is very hot.
     60-80C should be around normal
high load temperatures.

You should get random
     people on the street to punch
your junk. Keep it up!

Goddamn those people
     responsible for putting
those boys in prison.

You should be getting
     to bed around midnight if
you work a 9/10am day.

Your penis is not
     or less dirty as any
other body part.

Another reason
     why living on the west coast
has it's benefits.

Such laws have actually
     been used against young people
by prosecutors.

Gingrich? Santorum?
     ...Perry? I have not, but now
I shall soon enough.

We're a new country.
     We view "old houses" as stuff
built before the 1970s.

That is hurtful, but
     I accept your opinion.
Thank you very much.

Generally I like
     my women nice and meaty
(read: chubby chaser).