Reddit Haikus

Exciting. Not one
     single problem. Good for you!
I bet it feels great.

Often this hormone
     rush can trigger a renewed
sexual interest.

And have fun! I don't
     think I know anyone who
can do that sober.

The only Crystal
     Light variety I like
is the raspberry.

I think it barely
     edges out Intrigue for me.
Is MS Paint OK?

I don't know. But I'd
     actually read it twice and still
thought it said "obey".

don't mind him, he's just
     jealous because he knows he's
*not* doing it right.

Isn't there a place
     on the ticket that explains
how to challenge it?

A painting can be
     overworked, and a song can
be overproduced.

that's a tad extreme
     Alone and high I presume?
It was left or straight.

In fact, I rather
     enjoy most of Food Networks
evening programming.

[deleted] this is
     the first thing I thought after
reading the edit.

The laws of nature
     exist because they just *do*.
Front page here we come!

I think you're also
     commenting on things you don't
really know about.

I've been to a spa
     thing with a ton of these things,
they're pretty funny.

Reacting like what?
     The neighbor was trespassing
and was in the wrong.

Whether your mother
     meant your wife should leave too, is
irrelevant now.

This is the mind set
     i hate that PU tends to churn
out by the masses.

A new car or house
     for everyone would improve
their general welfare.

We can't stop heating
     shit up, it's getting wetter
day by day. So what?

It's too late. There's no
     stopping a group with its own
reality show.

Wonder if he would
     also let himself castrate
to play a eunuch.

A general who was
     especially nasty during
the revolution.

"or the "usual
     suspects" think Toronto wants"
There's that term again.

If there is profit
     to be made in selling herbs,
someone will sell them.

Otherwise they would
     have listed the used version
as being different.

"Thanks to everyone
     on the internet that spread
the word." One sentence.

Stock images are
     available for download
in ROM Manager.

Controlling you by
     not allowing free access
to transportation.

But I haven't yet
     gotten the courage to head
out in the winter.

So, if they can prove
     this theory is true, then free
will would be disproved?

No hate crimes and no
     one daring to call these black
teenagers racists.

**edit** assuming
     that the rifle has iron
sights to begin with.

As soon as something
     becomes popular people
begin to game it.

Baseball and football,
     as you may or may not know,
are two different sports.

not sure how this was
     relevant, but that SHOVEL
IS AWESOME!! You die.

Seems simple enough.
     Yeah but I still like being
invited to things.

The rage comic didn't
     do it justice, but it did
get me to watch it.

Remember that it's
     not absolute force, but its
spatial gradient.

Edit: not that I'd
     ever call someone a douche.
I'll be your girlfriend!!!!!

we're doing the best
     we can and don't have the cash
to buy a new car.

a rear facing car
     seat would fit if the front seat
is tilted forward.

The product it is
     working on must be something
society needs.

Everybody is
     nice and I leave my back door
unlocked half the time.

Should I just put him
     in the bathroom or something
for a few minutes?

funny thing, what you've
     just told, I've heard it many
times from the Russians.

I read through this whole
     article humming the theme
to *Night Court* Well said.

Well they like me just
     fine as a ***super best friend
buddy person guy***.

You'd probably treat them
     the way Christians try to treat
God. No.... sorry mate.

Maybe she's gorgeous.
     Maybe she's funny and great
at throwing parties.

that is a petty
     thing to do to not only
your boss but your FRIEND.

You have a perfect
     opportunity because
you do, and what's more?

Also it gives you
     time to think about the best
possible answers.

Everyone talking
     about how they would fight back
is kidding themselves.

Will talk to a few
     people and let you know if
there is some money.

*comes along panting,
     gasping for air* I came here
as soon as I can.

How did you hit him?
     With your hand or did you use
your elbow or head?

Well, Clinton did shoot,
     and I bet some of it got
on Monica's face.

I also reject
     the "fact" that the author does
not own a TV.

We are especially
     guilty of this when it comes
to traits of the mind.

Locker and Bradford
     were neck and neck last year on
many teams draft board.

Plus there's the cliche,
     "You might be Patrick Bateman,"
going through my head.

Actually, yes it does.
     I am attracted to what
I was raised around.

And if you plan on
     doing any extensive
traveling, do it now.

Why is she only
     sleeping with other women,
and not other men?

And I don't think it's
     wrong to enjoy Neal Morse if
you're an atheist.

(nailed it) My sister
     play's a harp so it would be
the perfect combo.

It's not obvious
     to you, because you've probably
never heard of it.

**I do not endorse
     such a thing, it only hurts
this community.

I got invited
     to my friends house to watch Saw
when it first came out.

This would be something
     to investigate prior
to beginning then.

Yup. Just like Bernie
     Madoff should have shredded all
his records, but didn't.

Could you imagine
     if politicians smoked pot
openly at work?

There is only mind.
     Do you agree? Probably best
to take it from there...

I've found that to be
     the case a lot in my school.
Broken frenulum?

The more technical
     discussion and stories on
fireworks, the better.

If they don't give you
     the same deal, just walk away
with the loan papers.

If you can't actually
     stay overnight, I don't think
you'd want to live there.

Your dick is too small
     and her pussy is too large.
Or something like that.

You spit in his face
     and then punch him in the balls.
Be the aggressor.

I too respect his
     right to live by the Bible,
but not to preach it.

I'd like to suggest
     the use of Shea Butter or
Olive Oil lotion.

They think they will be
     fine without, they think they don't
need to, whatever.

It was an awesome
     movie and I think it tops
the 1st by a lot!

I love the righteous
     indignation of all these
republicans here.

Alternatively,
     schedule your heaviest use
for after midnight.

I see her address
     written on the return line,
in plain black sharpie.

And the religious
     people in these debates are
full of confidence.

coconuts Jeez man
     you make the doctors seem like
horrible people.

fire I've been working
     on getting my dad to ride
his bike more often.

Maybe I paired them
     up with another beer or
something and they clashed.

Two of my female
     roommates told me that my jeans
were too big for me.

so they have to make
     as much money as they can
before that happens.

The tough, heroic
     perception is used to its
fullest advantage...

Hell, now we coach each
     other and even share our
dates occasionally.

After I remove
     the ice pack I use a deep
pore cleanser lotion.

It's time you lay out
     the facts instead of living
in your confusion.

when i went i was
     ready for the heat, the cold
took me by surprise.

A lot of style is
     confidence and you appear
to have lots of it.

I see what you mean,
     especially given the way
the question was asked.

Must destroy Perfect
     Couples. MUST DESTROY. Oh, no,
definitely not.

The robot spiders
     and the users, of course, will
see it. Like hemlock?

[deleted] Ah yes,
     the venerable Fox News
Technique. thanks a lot.

She is not allowed
     to visit her father while
he is somewhere "safe".

On a larger scale
     tens of thousand children are
born in poverty.

I think animals
     deserve relief from suffering
at financial cost.

It has several times,
     though I don't think it has been
posted recently.

[deleted] Ruff is
     the american accent.
So its official.

What I'm saying is
     that the justifications
for the law are false.

Loved it when his nose
     got broken by the Ravens.
Does that include tax?

Take it easy, you
     have many many many
years of running left.

Airplane lands, and jumps
     into another air plane.
You can't explain that.

If he's not ready
     for more, he wont ask for it.
Stop doing that then.

No big deal at all.
     Just worry about getting
the baby out. Damn.

It most certainly
     is a government program
in the strictest terms.

Because we have state
     controlled media that all
says the same thing right?

The reason we don't
     revolt is that life isn't
that bad here actually.

Its called 'discovery'
     and its common in civil
and criminal suits.

ahh makes sense, good luck.
     I'm a junior working on
the whole process. No.

Growing up in New
     Zealand, we practically had
classes in sunscreen.

I'm pretty happy.
     I'm in a pretty ok
new relationship.

so every dude who
     thinks about banging a hot
friend is going to?

I would add it now,
     but I was hoping to hear
from you earlier.

No, he's just confused.
     EDIT: I confused myself
Try a moscato.

I like that she said
     this right after Mubarak
was just doing this.

I also hope you
     don't give up trying to remind
people of the toll.

EDIT: the bridge is
     about half the distance from
the strings as the neck.

I suggest you take
     up something stupid for them
to rebel against.

There are some really
     intelligent people out
there that are brainwashed.

Yeah let her read it,
     I wish i'd been introduced
to it that early.

We always signed them
     and put someone's name on them
when I was a kid.

Why the hell would you
     need pockets if you're going
swimming anyway?

I am glad I did-
     I'm not sure that steaks any
thicker would have fit.

I did that, and there
     were beetles under my sheets.
Now I have no bed.

That cheeky peek from
     the corner of her eye is
really fucking hot.

that's why you always
     duct tape the bat to your hand
so you don't drop it.

Europe and China
     were both very good at it;
and indeed still are.

I suppose straight up
     strength training is the best way
to go at this point.

I dunno that guy
     looks like he can run pretty
damn fast u mad? Ding!

[deleted] Yes, that's
     exactly what I thought when
I read your comment.

He goes to the door
     that is beside the front desk
and tries to enter.

He went back to bed
     incredulous, and laid there,
unable to sleep.

Should I? I don't see
     people so I don't know these
kinds of things. boring.

Good players realize
     the disadvantage every
death does to your team.

you sound like a tool
     when you end your posts the way
you did, by the way.

I'm gonna wash wash
     wash that blood on my hands, I'm
gonna wash wash wash....

You brought up a point
     that really doesn't matter
so I did the same.

And they'd have to play
     Bill Russell and Wilt. Love would
be rather silent.

Then the bigger guy
     decided to pound his head
into the concrete.

Link please? In this case,
     it's not a euphemism
for unattractive.

Keep in mind that there
     is a bottle of brandy
in that photograph.

Thanks for answering!
     I'm truly sorry you stuck
your dick in crazy.

[deleted] TIL learned
     that Americas national
flower is the rose.

but this was the quote
     from one of the Democrat
Representative.

You seem unwilling
     to compromise and do come
off as arrogant.

Not sure if others
     agree, but a tan isn't
required to look good.

They were excellent
     at sneaking around behind
supervisors too.

Are you doing Blue
     John? Take a pic of Aron
Ralston's rock for us!

American Dad
     has been better than Family
Guy lately, imo.

When you see someone,
     you have to focus to catch
all of their features.

I'm new here. Edit:
     Your comment will stick with me
the rest of the day.

I'm not a Yahoo
     employee or anything..
I'm just curious.

Any extra stress
     is going to slow things down.
Sprint owns Boost Mobile.

Congress signed a UN
     charter which permits actions
like this. Nice try though.

We are mostly done
     with hydro electric dams.
At least in the West.

I noticed you said
     you sleep in her bed because
your room is too warm.

Like you, I have had
     much better luck with Europe
and America.

I would love to see
     some of the response essays
and how they were scored.

[The European
     Union is the Soviet
Union repackaged.

Normal vaginal
     births are the safest option
for mom and baby.

[nah, not this] building
     on my other post and some
other ideas.

i'm not sure i'd date
     someone who would pull a fake
pregnancy on me.

Also Atheism.
     I know why everyone can
perceive it like that.

The guards were very
     friendly and helped me get past
the initial gates.

Any suggestion
     besides dry fire practice on
how to reduce it?

Humans have actually
     evolved considerably
since learning to cook.

["There is a difference
     between rational certainty
and blessed assurance.

I'd tell you the church,
     but I don't want to invite
troll out to see him.

It's compulsory
     up until secondary
school (high school to ye).

Yeah and also felt
     the need to try and rip hair
out repeatedly.

Was a bit wrong there,
     but still my point stands without
that paragraph no?

Other than that they're
     probably the ones people are
most familiar with.

And it's a little
     scary, because you type well
and you can research.

See how well that works?
     Go ahead, give it a try.
See how good it feels.

i was thinking how
     funny this would be if you
were a male. thank you.

Hold your horses there,
     when I said 'unchanged' I meant
that relatively.

Is it OK by
     god for homosexuals
to become one flesh?

Ugh. You find it odd
     that we learn and try to pass
that knowledge onwards?

Both the fighters are
     really starting to come off
like dicks in this thing.

I'd probably yell "what
     the fuck" in shock which is what
most people would do.

I think you would need
     the scientific data
to back this claim up.

No less kinky than
     your golden shower thing, eh?
Are you serious?

Should I continue
     or do you still think he's all
talk and no action?

You never know when
     you might need to make a break
for it. I feel ya.

The original
     launch of throwback was even
better tasting though.

'Cause poor people are
     scary, 'specially when they're skin
is darker than ours.

The people *believe*
     in the advancement of their
culture and country.

Didn't say anything
     directly about the quote
itself though, myself.

[deleted] This is
     easily the funniest
thing I've seen all year.

Just have fun with it,
     and fuck up their statistics
collection bullshit.

And, who the hell goes
     to a three day old post JUST
to insult someone???