Reddit Haikus

I'm glad I am not
     only able to see things
that are new to you.

Job security?
     What's that? It doesn't exist
for a programmer.

They have a job that,
     I would be willing to bet,
is pretty shitty.

We had actually split
     up and she became pregnant
with another guy.

All French children are
     vaccinated since decades,
and we're not that dumb.

Time Travel doesn't
     work that way in the Harry
Potter universe.

They also tended
     to make certain actions not
set a precedent.

Since stalls all have doors
     on, it hardly matters who
is in the next stall.

Monsters are pretty
     much always invisible
for me in normal.

All the things Sue said
     to her mum, I would dearly
love to say to mine.

What you should learn from
     this is that closed guard just won't
work for some people.

Cool link, what is this?
     I've never seen it before
in my life. good post.

probably the same thing
     i would do if obama
gets reelected.

Make her know that you
     want to make love to her more
than anything else.

The bible does not
     provide you with good morals,
rather the opposite.

Be careful. A few
     thousand years ago water
would turn into wine.

[deleted] If you
     can't refute the evidence,
don't attack the source.

Your reasoning seems
     clear and I have a hard time
arguing with it.

I feel like I should
     make a set of black guy rage
faces to thank you.

To be honest, I'm
     just a temp at the moment.
I'm paying my dues.

Fruit binge? [deleted]
     You don't need a holiday
to roast a turkey.

Personally, I am
     just glad to hear that you are
intending to come.

If nothing else, it'll
     be entertaining for you
to walk around in.

:D Yes. This. There is
     *nothing* sexier than two
hot guys making out.

After watching that,
     I actually feel more confused
about how they work...

Focus on yourself.
     See a counselor to help
with your past traumas.

No programmer should
     be loyal to a language
for the sake of it.

I'm sure it might one
     day have some kind of actually
value or some shit.

Two out of the three
     stores I worked at actually had
debit already.

I haven't done much
     else though, since I' too damn scared
to go to a Dr.

Thousands of maggots.
     Rare now, because they separate
food and dry garbage.

Not fun. Just make sure
     to have the salesman come out
and test the signal.

Actually, less taxes
     and gun rights are not a good
thing for most people.

In fact that is what
     got me interested in mens
rights to begin with.

I'd like to know here
     if you've got another source
that might be useful.

I wasn't saying
     let's celebrate Thanksgiving.
Not at all. Oh well.

At least people are
     getting up off their couch though
and getting involved.

Those shoes will get you
     exactly the type of man
you are looking for.

Holy crap, I just
     looked at some singles I was
planning on getting.

but still cutting off
     your own arm with a pocket
knife is impressive.

Very cool! I like
     the guy's voice, it's very good
for this sort of thing.

If the wealthy were
     to disappear, believe me
the world would notice.

Electrolysis
     or laser hair removal?
A combination?

It's American,
     but it's a lot stronger than
I'm accustomed to.

It's pretty easy
     to tell which games follow these
guidelines and which don't.

Wrong. Body scanners
     in Canada are only
at the "full search" line.

This song was the shit
     in the late 90's, every one
was listening to it.

Sure, but the latter
     probably won't let you do much
more than the former.

It doesn't take much
     to set off a cop if he's
being a jackass.

Looks like its Thursday
     again, and this question is
being asked, again.

Last time I had one:
     A: Thin lace, small head, a nice
foggy concoction.

Perhaps you mean "should".
     He looks like Kevin Costner's
retarded brother.

She was Catholic, but
     was overly aggressive
in proving her faith.

Oh ok, you are
     having trouble telling what
posts go together.

Robert Spencer has
     no reason to lie about
Arabs or Muslims.

But why wait? You could
     just play as it is until
updates are released.

It was the random
     file name given to it when
I downloaded it.

The file count matches
     the message count, is that how
you add these things up?

This would actually make
     for a ridiculously
fun multiplayer.

There are no atoms
     in vacuum, the water would
collapse around it.

I'd love to contact
     the original poster
and see what happened.

I think you should hold
     off buying more equipment
for the time being.

Hopefully, if you
     take your time you'll be able
to finish a song.

What about men who
     want to stay at home with their
kids while their wives work?

I'm pretty sure you
     can get your map back, just not
sure the specifics.

Helps to mix things up.
     And the plus side, is I know
most of the drivers.

I usually lose
     my desire after that.
I think I'm crazy.

To recap, I asked
     you to elaborate and you
called me a retard.

I realize that might
     be the case, I just would like
to know what to do.

Who's voting for them?
     If it's proper coca leaf
then of course it will.

He walks into his
     parents kitchen and what was
the first thing he sees?

lol sorry
     for the shitty grammar, just
kind of rambled that.

Now is the easy
     part, tell both women that you
would like to meet up.

She will, of course, love
     the experience and will
be asking for more.

I can't stop smiling,
     are you sure your name isn't
Charlie? For god's sake!

Mathematicians
     are sanitary people:
we don't share glasses.

All I've got is some
     clothes and stuff, and whatever
the college gives me.

yeah, it seems seagate
     has not great reviews, so I'll
go with the samsung.

Reality is
     that FAR FAR more 'miracles'
are hoaxes than real.

These types of traits are
     generally not fluid, but
that's not a bad thing.

They really should test
     for intelligence before
letting people drive.

Anyway, why am
     I arguing with some guy
on the Internet?

Who cares? Play it like
     you're from the *fucking future*
like a boss straight through.

They don't take into
     consideration how both
genders have struggles.

I might substitute
     Kate for someone less well known
but equally hot.

And as you say, there
     have been more questionable
acts in the past. Wow.

Even if it were
     teeming with bacteria
what is your concern?

I said, if you want
     to make it the best version,
please do. The quote stands.

Only Thursday through
     Sunday and unofficial
public holidays.

This weekend will be
     the last time I fly until
these policies change.

can you direct me
     to a guide where it explains
how to mod this phone?

Seriously, you
     just learned this, didn't he ever
mention it before?

Old story bro Some
     people are just out of touch
with reality.

EDIT: To answer
     the other question at hand,
obviously mad.

I just lost it, dude.
     That's even more fitting than
you would imagine.

Oh. When you said "both,"
     I was thinking Red and Fry,
not Red and Yellow.

It doesn't sound like
     anything is wrong with you,
morally speaking.

Pet spec changes are
     free so don't be too worried
about messing up.

Act like you have no
     interest in them, they should just
be flocking your way.

It was driving him
     crazy that he couldn't find
the offending cat.

They look smooth enough
     as it is, besides I don't
have a sand blaster.

There is no longer
     any reason to say "bless
you" after a sneeze.

I think that approach
     would turn me off honestly.
[deleted] Oh no!

I don't know you or
     the girl so I may be way
off with this advice.

Subtle bias there.
     and no, unless he has some
damning evidence.

Well, it's a problem
     to me, since they are doing
sloppy work lately.

I know this may seem
     like a bit of a long shot,
but do you have kids?

I would like a more
     in depth description for why
you feel this is true.

She said at one point
     she loves him like a brother
more than anything.

1080p is way too large
     to fit in the current standard
frequency spectrum.

[deleted] I bet
     Hellen Connely knows her way
around a penis.

I doubt they would be
     against working on Sundays
or eating shellfish.

Strange things can happen,
     but one team would have to play
out of character.

I am sorry but
     I am running out of time
and I have to go.

Been meaning to get
     my hands on a copy since
I saw it in school.

In Australia on
     Boxing Day, the stores start their
sales on Boxing Day.

Is this another
     "make fun of fat people" thread?
Wow that's really cool!

I still disagree
     with you that this a issue
about woman's rights.

Seriously, what
     kind of loser would even
*have* instant coffee?

Your opponent has
     his robotics up and is
building immortals.

I would have said: "then
     arrest me if you believe
you have a case here".

CAD is not, has not,
     nor will ever be, funny.
Am I your girlfriend?!??

I'll have a job come
     January, so maybe
in time for spring break.

Fine by me. If you
     don't want that to happen, don't
license it that way.

how about Afghan
     and Iraqi soliders?
disguised as cupcakes?

Thanks! Got a message
     from my ex for the first time
in six months today.

She was just frightened
     and decided that it was
all my fault. madness.

Email and let him
     know you are going to drop
into their office.

I mean, most people
     can't tell Onion articles
are fake half the time.

[deleted] I will
     punch my brother in the face
for you. He won't mind.

Absolutely go
     for the highest quality
butane you can find.

That's how the power
     gets from the pole to the house.
So she's like Nixon?

In digital, once
     you lose information, you
cannot get it back.

What's wrong with parents
     deciding what their children
learn about science?

It'll give him freedom
     to experiment and find
the path of his life.

Now you take this home,
     throw it in a pot, add some
broth, a potato.

There is still some stuff
     missing, but it's all ready
two and a half hours.

Oh well, I wasn't
     all that interested in those
other ones. cross street?

I'm American
     and I've never had it or
seen it in person.

But I'm sure I am
     part of the minority.
Wants cupcakes, meow.

the kind of oral
     herpes that keeps recurring
tends to be type one.

It freaked me the fuck
     out when I started smelling
my eyeball burning.

I'm sure they were just
     being dicks though. None, sadly.
Out of paprika.

My chickens don't like
     to lay eggs in this weather....
lol I know.

We genetically
     modify all our foods through
selective breeding.

I had no problem
     with that mission, not sure why
everyone complained.

i felt that this is
     not something that most people
attempt or go through.

I owned Holy Blood,
     Holy Grail years before Da
Vinci Code came out.

i'll make an attempt
     to read those, but i warn you,
i'm very lazy.

If you disagree
     with a person's politics,
then why wouldn't you?

Tried to move a whole
     chicken out of the oven
using only tongs.

I find your logic
     (or lack thereof) disturbing.
Well it's a good point.

It looks like the guy
     in the back with the white shirt
is showing his cock.

You're not the first guy
     to do it and you won't be
the last. Sounds like Troy.

You (ultimately,
     in many ways) are paying
full price for all this.

No world music class
     here, either, I just happen
to find these things out.

No problem man, keep
     your chin up and stay focused.
All the best to you.

I've been too busy
     with a big paying project
in the normal one.

I'm sorry about
     your Dad but more often than
not Dad's do come round.

Why wouldn't they just
     simply erase his ident
card from the system.

If you put your life
     on the line, its often not
just for the country.

Having the other
     team score zero points doesn't
help your team at all.

I once saw a whole
     dressed up wedding party come
inside a Wendy's.

I have a sudden
     urge to go to a Bath Spa
now for some reason.

If I could live off
     wind power and fairy dust,
I would. Holy hell.

[deleted] cocaine
     Cowgirl, you can rope my steer
any time you want.

I now think that meat
     is stringy like celery
but in a gross way.

next to Pen Island
     This may be the most useful
thing i've seen all day.

They know what they are.
     Always nice to know this prick
now has her address.

You say she loves you
     but she is still hanging on
with the other guy.

With unemployment
     as high as it is, they can't
afford to just quit.

It won't. It just piles
     one immorality on
top of another.

No one can answer
     this question because no one
knows the mind of God.

I have no clue what
     the hell I'm talking about.
Punch me in the balls.

Yes. You're right... that would
     have made everything different.
Nice suit. Stupid hill...

and I may or may
     not agree that one is worth
dying for. jackass.

That one was genius,
     it's audacity is just
so irreverent.

That is really cool.
     I never knew this either.
Thanks for the info.

You're about to rape
     your wife and start a family.
This thread hurts my brain.

Credit would probably
     be best, but you can't really
enforce anything.

As for actual games
     ported over from other
consoles, not so much.

Rather than going
     back earlier in the game,
I just stopped playing.

A set that also
     used operator== would be
very constraining.

Whenever I can
     spare it, I tell them to hold
on or come with me.

Unfortunately
     for her, we planned [and still do]
on adopting one.

I put my bag down
     at my chair and put my books
on my desk and left.

Maybe I'm just dense,
     but that's pretty confusing
to me. Gus Johnson?

if she gives you flack,
     she's hiding something or wants
future wiggle room.

when did I post this?
     I have a rather large shop
I can host this at.

Seems to me like it's
     the bottom of the barrel
running these check points.

Are you questioning
     if schools serve unhealthy food?
Nobody liked them?

It's weird how the more
     Bosh is getting his, the worse
the team is playing.

Guns N' Roses are
     on my eternal shit list
just for their covers.

They accept based on
     how likely a person is
to achieve something.

Remember to say
     if you are male or female
when saying your streak.

Having a yahoo
     email has nothing to do
with one's tech knowledge.

[deleted] What do
     YOU mean them? The fuck!?! He jus
some stupid kid, yo.

Mea culpa translates
     essentially to "my fault".
You're using it wrong.

Some of the greatest
     goods in the world come from less
than noble motives.

If people got paid
     less, the economy would
be *better* off? How?

Exciting. Not one
     single problem. Good for you!
I bet it feels great.