Reddit Haikus

Either costs go up,
     research stops, we ration care,
or we go bankrupt.

[deleted] I had
     almost the exact same thought:
"Now that's a dick move.

[deleted] Got it!
     Thanks. For those moments where minds
want to be idle.

Somebody should launch
     legal action against them
for making false claims.

I don't know. Sex is
     like money you want it more
when you don't have it.

Christianity
     didn't draw the immediate
response of retard.

The boys in the class
     saw this as a test as how
far can we push her.

Steven Wright has much
     funnier delivery
in my opinion.

My point is that you
     cannot rationalize what
you think might happen.

The consumer needs
     the ability to best
allocate their wealth.

Teacher: What do you
     think of the situation?
Student: IT'S A TRAP!

Put the fear of god
     into your kids that they should
stay out of your room.

A red octagon
     does invoke a physical
object, the STOP sign.

In this case, the way
     many of us treat women
have affected them.

Now I'm thinking if
     I should ask him about his
thoughts of our future.

For me at least, it's
     far more enjoyable than
your common text book.

And I'd be making
     that EXACT face if that dude
popped up on my screen!

So to say he didn't
     create homosexuals
is irrelevant.

Knowing this, who am
     I as a person to take
that away from them?

Because that's what you
     seem to be advocating
with that position.

[Having had my own
     encounters with them, I'd be
inclined to agree.

German doctors are
     fleeing to other countries
where they can make more.

I have a rescue
     ferret, and a cat that would
have gone to the pound.

I expect nothing,
     nor do I feel anyone
is entitled to.

I will let that slide.
     I do not eat things I do
not make for myself.

*(OK. Power &
     money, but those two pretty
much go hand in hand.

That said though, I would
     be interested in seeing
the stats for China.

And maybe s job
     with a police agency's
cyber crimes for you?

I can tell a key
     clash a mile off man, I don't
need software for that.

The first thing you should
     try to do is make the thief
empathize with you.

Likewise just because
     someone claims to be rational
doesn't mean they are.

I mean, the guy is
     building what are basically
androids by himself.

My mind was blown when
     I found out The Beatles were
not American.

Translation? No one
     cares what you're selling, they care
what they'll gain from it.

Another option
     is that we could learn to live
with global warming.

Reread all his books
     and learn about the world while
you enjoy reading.

I am glad that you're
     able to help someone who
you don't even know.

I threw an empty
     Coke can in the pool and peed
all over the hill.

Do you work at (first
     word starts with an S and last
word ends with an n)?

In fact, there's loose talk
     that a similar plan is
being brewed up now.

I run Windows on
     my main box because Linux
can't handle Steam well.

Your wife refers you
     to a friend of hers for sex?
Did I read that wrong?

I think she knows what
     just about any Christian
thinks of her lifestyle.

I understand its
     hard losing weight and it hurts
to be really big.

"It was a moment
     that F1 fans will never be
able to forget.

How much did it weigh,
     half of an average full sized
female elephant?

I feel sick. Why do
     people think it is okay
to act in this way?

[deleted] Do you
     want to respect her, or do
you want to bang her?

That is not within
     the control of the person
you are dealing with.

She's ok with his
     "METAL UP YOUR ASS GRANDMA!"?
[deleted] GO SENS!!

I'd like to have some
     knowledge about which mushrooms
are safe or not first.

In the next sentence,
     he said he wasn't convinced
climate change was real.

In a sense, we all
     ignorant compared to those
who will come after.

That is fantastic!!!
     Too bad you won't be able
to eat or drink though...?

Humphrey the Hippo:
     Why, you'd have to eat six bowls
for that to happen!

Cheering for a sports
     team is a good substitute
for war. Go Oilers!

I'm pretty sure mine
     would just try and hump the kids
when they hit the floor.

I have a friend who
     makes it with some parmesan
and butter mixed in.

Just like you are am
     terrified of the other
people on the road.

Am I the only
     one that never sees people
auto attacking?

Used to have to go
     to sleep and bring it back up
before it would work.

I think it's correct,
     although it's surprisingly
confusing to read.

The chicken will cook,
     but move it around and flip
the strips thoroughly.

So why should someone
     who earns more money be taxed
at a higher rate?

What about people
     who dress up to reenact
Civil War battles?

Don't. You'd think Bobby
     Cox would be managing these
games trying to win them.

Are you personally
     going to do anything
about the issue?

it's not a nazi
     uniform, it's a german
soldier uniform.

Also, check to see
     if you're using passive voice
in those areas...

Slick Willy I'm still
     working on my squat myself
and I'm not near 250lbs.

They will always be
     less interactive then their
smaller counterparts.

If you really want
     to get rid of them you should
give them to someone.

We laughed heartily
     for an entire half hour.
Slightly related.

I promise you this.
     Near Flint. A side of bacon
is *always* required.

very good Ya'll can
     cut this stupid "hitting on
every girl" shit out.

You're ever in south
     florida and need a place,
you holler at me.

Support for people
     going through these withdrawals
are imperative.

Complicated math.
     What would you do? You'd hang me
from the nearest tree.

or maybe it's all
     the opium Just like it's
controlling it now?

I showed up the next
     day completely hung over,
but my arm was fine.

Stop taking away
     the only thing that stops me
from a shooting spree.

Who are you to tell
     people what they can value
and what they cannot?

Dude, that's cold. How much
     higher up the food chain are
you compared to him?

They did not own large
     properties and their incomes
were not based on crops.

Then ask her to feed
     you the grapes in the golden
bowl by her elbow.

Not very unique
     but you could put easter eggs
in the manuals.

Don't you dare say you
     weren't warned. You **don't own this game**.
You are leasing it.

You are leasing it.
     You agreed to this when you
forked out your money.

All of the apps are
     worth it and I don't regret
anyone of them.

A thread containing
     logic in an otherwise
hate filled submission?!

Can't handle the heat,
     so he drinks an entire
bottle of water.

I thought the same thing.
     And then I hated myself
for thinking that way.

Look for another
     big name novelty account
in about a week.

[I apologize
     for my shitty drawing, but
I couldn't resist.

But you will be safe
     from yourself, because your brain
will be in balance.

The newscasters said
     what's put in front of them on
the teleprompter.

yes we did The must
     be programmers, they started
counting from zero.

Maybe you guys can
     have some fun debates about
this stuff when you're bored.

Without god, we are
     left to our own devices
and anything goes.

Luckily, most are
     very moral according
to Christian standards.

How'd you build a screen?
     Except the IRA has stopped
using violence.

Big people don't run.
     Even if you're buff as hell,
I pity your joints.

Even if you're buff
     as hell, I pity your joints.
Ouch. Good for you though!

Any poor bastard
     stage left is getting a fine
dusting of sparks though.

None of us believe
     God is linked... we don't even
believe he exists.

(Hope he's not your ex)
     [deleted] I know, I thought
she was Israeli.

Once I discovered
     golf, I only thought about
the next Saturday.

[deleted] As did
     I. Human values systems
are a meaningless.

Here's an [NPR
     interview] with her about
efforts to save them.

I can't help but think
     "hey I came back to ask you
out" would be creepy.

It's from Arrested
     Development, my good man!
Please erase this post.

I am a coward.
     Official stream seems to be
up and running now.

I adore giraffes.
     [deleted] Steam ID? edit:
you want it or what?

I think he was trying
     to start a pun thread, and you
ruined it for him.

The Republicans
     are opposed (for whatever
reason) to gate rape.

Ahh I meant to say
     that the "grade requirements" are
being inflated.

Something like, "Really
     world, is it that hard to just
not fuck this stuff up?

Email, snail mail, hell
     even send him a Christmas
card with this in it.

Little Girl: [looking
     at a Magic Eye poster]
Wow. It's a schooner.

After the "implant
     bomber" strikes, I'll never get
through airport screening.

Many people HATE
     the fact there are no portals
while others LOVE it.

Once you learn that style,
     one can identify there
music easily.

We were skiing down
     this tight, back corner trail on
the edge of a cliff.

i have been saying
     the same thing since well before
the season started.

This is the first time
     I've laughed from a "read above
in x voice". Great job!

Scott's reviews; he's more
     insightful than Ebert. dude.
he's retired, not deaf!!

Your life sounds pretty
     good, and it's so great that you
have amazing kids.

I never opposed
     that, but that's branching out from
the topic at hand.

Also we had our
     own personal smoke out cove
we'd frequent. Good times.

i'll give your sensor
     booster idea a try
and see if it helps.

The only thing that's
     worse is sniping, but 3arc is
going to fix that.

Stations still do it!
     Pro tip: do this before you
apply for a job.

Do you have any
     form of a mobile version,
or app? No, sorry.

box of spiders That's
     what he wants you to believe.
How do I make it?

The cases that are
     referred are about consent
to reasonable search.

You say no, be sure
     to sound firm when you say no,
you can even shout.

I would love to get
     birds but the other half hates
how noisy they are.

All this is going
     to do is make me not want
to fly anywhere.

Adjust your pants dude,
     your authoritarian
streak is peeking out.

FUCK YOU. I CAME UP
     WITH THIS JOKE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.
What have I become?

My life is just one
     big snowball of regret from
conception to now...

I used it a lot
     when i was transitioning
into paleo.

Hanoi, right? Were you
     hanging out in that little
shack right next to C?

Nicely done team! *High
     Five* HA. Depends on where you
are in Vancouver.

(Am I the only
     person who gets binders from
office supply stores?

And Rick. [deleted]
     I'm pretty shore you mean breathe.
Let's wait till Friday.

Ignore who or what
     you think he is, and focus
on what he's saying.

Regardless if you
     answer or not, I REALLY
wish the best for you.

If the answer is
     yes, then believe whatever
you want to believe.

I've been on linux
     straight for about a year now
and not going back.

Your definition
     here is not the one implied
in my arguments.

Nice looking dick. Sigh.
     Jared from Subway Hell yes.
One of my favorites.

Call a local 24-hour
     veterinary hospital.
They'll know what to do.

Players and coaches
     must adjust accordingly.
That's soccer, my friends.

You keep using words
     that an abusive parent
would use on a child.

Really interesting
     read, mate. Thanks for the stories.
Actually incorrect.

\*sigh\*. I miss that place.
     It doesn't get beautiful
until calculus.

In the objective
     games it has little effect
on your teams success.

I usually just
     wait 'til it crashes. That's hot.
Ask once is fine. Marge?

And, yeah, do not go
     to Davis, Riverside or
Irvine. For god's sake.

Indeed. It was last
     Fall, they are still together
happily married.

That link was pure gold.
     Thank you sir. Still kind of is
if you got a card.

I think it's because
     I like my fruit cold, not warm.
agree completely.

Because even if
     I suck at buying thoughtful
gifts, at least I try.

[deleted] Sorry
     about you having to work
the holidays, dude.

He competently
     signed a massive prescription
drug bill into law.

Exactly. What did
     he gain from insulting those
people in the end?

Well, that and HOLY
     FUCK! All major retailers
have this policy.

Keep at it, but try
     to be more natural, act more
like you really are.

Good looking dogs by
     the way, I will forever
be a pug person.

If you find them (or
     some which give a conflicting
view), I hope you'll share.

THen everyone would
     be staring at it to no
end straining their eyes.

Crack open a beer
     and listen to a movement
on your home speakers.

"Someone disagrees
     with me, it's a TROLL!" Really?
I'm out for tonight.

[deleted] This has
     to be one of the dumbest
things I've ever seen.

IT'S EASY. I THINK.
     ALSO, WHERE THE FUCK IS CAPS
LOCK IN MY KEYBOARD?

this was my favorite
     moment in the entire
series Canada!

[deleted] Mozart
     must have anticipated
such idiocy.

I say what other
     people are thinking but are
too afraid to post.

Yes, it is pretty
     thick, but that is in many
cases a good thing.

I can't even think
     about this without cringing
and feeling awful.

Where are you located?
     That's how law works, especially
in the USA.

There are so many
     lonely people on here, just
reading the comments.

My biggest regret
     is that I'm a coward. Wow!
you did. Impressive.

And with Slight of Hand
     Pro, aiming down the iron
sights is really fast.

Also, whats the main
     challenge that causes problems
when getting older?

You won't remember
     this in a year when you are
in college, trust me.

There's a good record.
     Which terrorists have the air
marshals stopped again?

Maybe her kid got
     pregnant and died giving child
birth in her stomach.

The less people see
     the ad, the more chances you
have of snatching it.

just make the jumpsuits
     really skin tight. Thanks a lot!
This is getting framed!

Lets be fair here though.
     I don't really give a shit
about cars at all.

Wouldn't that depend
     on the age of the wafers?
That is fucking cool.

(You might fly into
     our new International
City terminal!)

Do you think Apple
     really exists to 'better'
the United States?

Your salt problem is
     actually something that science
can handle quite well.

The Low Frequency
     Orchestra on Friday is
going to be nuts.

It's better than just
     putting up a regular
picture of your dog.

So basically he's
     full of shit and has a huge
raid coming his way.

The coin is the first
     one found to originate
from the Temple Mount.

Hunt in groups. Bullshit.
     It's a moral panic set
off by idiots.