Reddit Haikus

Well done. Thank Cheryl
     Cole for giving the disease
some publicity...

Sometimes you decide
     to have a pretzel for lunch
and you choke and die.

I think most people
     here don't download respectful
questions and comments.

Censorship provides
     advantages and can be
(always is) misused.

The victim's son on
     the right side of the frame was
behind all of this.

Where? How? [deleted]
     There's nothing inherently
'hot' about peppers.

I am extremely
     pissed off at the pathetic
economy here.

as always with these
     things, being among the first
to arrive is king.

you can at least go
     bankrupt on that debt, student
loans are permanent.

Their best album might
     very well be LA Woman
though I do agree.

The fan controller
     is not only cheap, but looks
really really nice.

Wait, so you do or
     you don't want guests connecting
to your home network?

If the other guy
     is a better wrestler what
can you really do?

[deleted] You could
     say something like, "OMG,
are you still hungry?

Here, let me get you
     something before you chew those
things right off." Sexy.

It makes no sense, but
     larger girls don't radiate
as much body heat.

Do people actually
     use this sort of doggerel
in conversations?

Excuse me for not
     having the best collection
on the internet.

This is an unfair
     representation of such
people's opinions.

You would continue
     to do so, and your progress
would be tracked the same.

Man, I was coming
     here hoping I'd be the first
one to suggest this.

For the better or
     worse, small talk is the best way
to meet good people.

That is true. I would
     be happy with powered carts
if they weren't so slow.

[deleted] Depends
     on how good the album is.
That's fucked up. Piss off.

I also find out
     how stuff works and I do get
bored from time to time.

If I figure out
     how it worked in the process,
all the better. damn.

Most likely, they'll use
     the flag burning precedents.
They'll probably win, too.

EDIT: /s I would
     put an absolute hard cap
on campaign spending.

Hitting children does
     not show that consequences
are temporary.

In fact, I think he's
     one of the most boring, bland
actors of all time.

At least five quitters.
     Those boys wouldn't last a day
on the battlefield.

I'm not happy she's
     gone, but I adore my kids,
and I love my life.

Your churches are filled
     with idols, any pagan
would feel right at home.

And it also has
     the Led Fucking Zeppelin
thing going for it.

I honestly thought
     that song was original
to Austin Powers.

the system will pit
     you against people below
and above your league.

I bothered to vote,
     and I sure deserve better
than what I'm getting.

I was a very
     interesting experience.
You should feel awesome.

The principal will
     tell you to go fuck yourself,
and that's when you sue.

During a hard run
     you're damaging your muscles,
making them weaker.

I'll try to answer
     any question that will help
identify it.

Either way, they get
     free press, which is probably their
goal in the first place.

It's up to you how
     you want to use salvia.
I like growing them.

Know that every time
     you ignore this advice you
are risking your life.

Even more rare are
     women who don't try to pose
as to hide their curves.

This is why Fox plays
     the Simpsons and also has
their news division.

My bamboo sheets are
     the best bed accessory
I've ever gotten.

I promised her I'd
     try to work through it FOR HER.
But a month later...

He takes one bite, chews,
     swallows, sets the sandwich down,
and kills himself. Why?

I was entertained
     and no one was naked... Well...
Its complicated.

again I'm no pro,
     but that would be my move Please
enlighten me then.

[deleted] Steak 'N
     Shake does a similar thing.
It's called Chili Mac.

That's a part of life.
     You say you're broke and can't get
back to your parents.

Seahawks please! I would
     say something sarcastic like
"what is good for you?"

Yeah right. I'm hoping
     to one day find a woman
who says the same thing.

Agreed (on all counts).
     Oh man, this happens to me
at work all the time.

and strut straight past them.
     Those mother fuckers never
know what to expect.

It wasn't this bad
     back in the 80's and early
90's when I was in.

Set in Brazil. Nope,
     would you like to get revenge
on someone and how?

Awesome song. I think
     I'd have a heart attack if
I attempted that.

Let's not just assume
     that everyone who posts here
is a Democrat.

Why, when I go there,
     is it pretty much the same
place, with the same rules?

Do you need goggles?
     Did the garbage can sink more
and more as you smoked?

Did the garbage can
     sink more and more as you smoked?
How many people?

I'm not gonna get
     sick of stairway to heaven
any time soon though.

This asshole better
     be glad the police caught him
before our friends did.

Why are people like
     this allowed to procreate?
It disgusts me. thanks!

Then evolution.
     Then someone discovers pot
all over again.

Not many people
     can say they've lived through that! Mark:
How was work today?

It amazes me
     how apathetic people
are towards voting now.

Just because you go
     and see one doesn't mean you'll
get medication.

Ya, because you get
     to vote on all the issues,
what a fucking joke.

Chocolate chip cookies
     are my drug of choice Your two
assumptions are false.

Saints have already
     walked the path, and are closer
than us to the goal.

Reference the actual
     taxes you're talking about
in the [US tax code.

or maximize it,
     whichever the case may be.
Came here to post that.

You should lose the spot
     for one year simply for trying
to throw that in there.

Looks like a hotter
     version of Chelsea Clinton.
Are you just trolling?

So long as there aren't
     fifty of them, like their phones,
then I'm all for it.

The bumps on the stems
     are roots that will grow given
the right conditions.

Especially the scene
     with his really terrible
looking glass eye. What?

What if you screw up
     and lose a major client
or something like that.

What i want to say
     is before you destroy her
shit etc.

You don't owe them two
     weeks of anything, once you
get that last paycheck.

It's a shame that there
     doesn't seem to be any
way to watch their games.

no doubt innocent
     people end up in iraq
or afghanistan.

this is exactly
     what i knew would happen once
there was gay marriage.

I found it pretty
     tedious, but she at least
did an awesome job.

Come up north and you'll
     find just about everything
open on Sunday.

[deleted] You should
     never put your computer
in the shower, son.

Not cool. [deleted]
     What is up with girls putting
shit around their nips?

You seem enlightened
     enough to at least listen
to my perspective.

He has this neighbor
     he fools around with over
and she brings a friend.

Well, not especially.
     Inattentive drivers would
be at fault for that.

That is really cool.
     I think I will try something
like this tomorrow.

Then the kids grow up
     and start thinking about their
own parents. Repeat.

Not having a huge
     college bill over my head
is a big relief.

Everyday I come
     home he looks like someone stomped
on his teddy bear.

If an older guy
     still had that kind of body
I'd still be turned on.

Treat your beard just like
     your hair, shampoo, condition,
comb, etc.

Amen. My ex tried
     the "reflecting my actions
back on me" tactic.

I assume you've got
     good posture and all the rest,
if not, look it up.

Also, why the fuck
     would anyone lie about
attending college?

Things can get better.
     It will take time to find out
what works best you you.

Just because you don't
     understand the work doesn't
mean it didn't happen.

Pouring used motor
     oil straight into the sink hurts
the environment.

I'm glad my head is
     too big to fit in most large
animals mouths now.

Nothing to compete
     for means less competition
in the bachelor pad.

Hah, are they brothers?
     My two cats are like the white
versions of these two.

My two cats are like
     the white versions of these two.
One long hair one short.

Why tress? I've never
     gotten a flu shot, and I've
never had the flu.

Policing should not
     be about confrontation,
combat and winning.

I am interested
     to what his response will be.
Thanks guys, I got it.

Not a damn thing wrong
     with 'em, as long as both (or
more) partners agree.

Good coffee is rich
     and flavorful, requiring
no sugar or milk.

By this logic men
     are the average and women
are against the norm.

But again, that's not
     to say it would make clear sense
even in context.

Sincerely, Those who
     believe that products (if good)
will speak for themselves.

Or, Political
     Science at best. Science is
about being right.

There really is no
     need for them, except to cause
problems later on.

Have you ever thought
     that the stones played a large part
in your throat problems?

What exactly could
     happen that we don't hear or
know that warrants that?

How in the hell did
     you get enough balls to fly
9k miles by yourself?

so i haven't been
     doing it on every flight
i've ever been on?

none, its just a game..
     all classes are there to be
used for a reason.

I'm trying to fucking
     *relax*, yo. EDIT: I'm not
really so hostile.

[deleted] Show her
     this thread and ask which comment
she agrees with most.

It still is the OP's
     decision on what he wants
to do about it.

Also, I have found
     that ben wa balls are pretty
great for the same thing.

Does being blinded
     with his eyes closed anyway
logically make sense?

"We want to tear down
     this building and keep people
from rebuilding it.

Im usually not
     big on renaissance pieces
but I love this one.

[deleted] Why not
     substitute some of the flour
with ground hazelnuts?

The real impressive
     thing is that the comments are
very positive.

I've heard people say
     that before and I truly
can't understand it.

Plus, I could never
     live in a country which let
Hitler on the world.

Wow. Wait that sun thing
     has something to do with heat
and weather on earth?

I'm pretty patient
     at this too, it's just my first
batch in a long time.

Whether or not you
     choose to exercise this claim
is your decision.

A fact you have missed
     was an Israel attempting
to murder children.

And as for the theft
     part, since when have _I agreed_
to pay for music?

[deleted] okay,
     I have been chewing over
this for the past day.

It's okay because
     your secondary fund bet
against the whole thing.

your move, pakistan.
     You still have to compensate
with that EXTRA drone.

Every country from
     Chile north to Canada
is American.

She'll quit, mend her ways,
     or keep up the shit giving
you reason to quit.

If indeed they don't
     have enough work for him, there
should be no problem.

He didn't say wealthy,
     he said the intelligent
and educated.

I think the problem
     is the douche vending machine
standing next to her.

Do it! You're only
     going to seem creepy if
she's not into you.

He really doesn't
     care, as is obvious from
his replies to you.

Just add in that you
     are not talking about end
grain wood! You got this!

And it's so simple,
     I can't believe I haven't
seen it anywhere.

Well said sir they could
     use about three more Cheesy
Whopper billboards there.

The same rule applies
     to the date you meet in school
or other places.

[deleted] did you
     actually link to a kelly
dwyer article?

So why not just go
     all the way, since you only
want sex anyway?

Why you guys being
     such defensive dicks about
this Scholastic thing?

I would keep them all.
     Also, religion isn't
going to help you.

TEN TEN TWENTY TEN....
     Wasn't ten ten ten ten one
thousand years ago?

[deleted] thanks Could
     be due to the body fat,
could be something else.

I spend all my free
     time cleaning up after one
group or the other.

I would love to go
     there when I'm climbing higher
(a lot higher) grades.

Could there possibly
     be work that is worth less than
the minimum wage?

Or should we just stop
     all reenactments because
one side was "evil"?

Creating a new
     one is just going to split
things up more, I fear.

Did you look into
     the collapse of the other
cultures is listed?

Quantum mechanics
     defies a lot of things, but
not math or logic.

Did you see they put
     the consumption area
all around the lake?

From purely my own
     perspective, I believe you
should not destroy them.

One of my favorite
     stories was during a youth
camp in the summer.

So.... did someone come
     in and rape your face towel or
is that an ass hair?

and you can't have 4chan
     either those guys are useless
Its not a service.

I can, however,
     confirm that they are making
asses of themselves.

The business was not
     told they had to provide their
services for free.

These stories make me
     feel happier in a weird,
convoluted way.

Here in Oregon,
     they rake in TONS of money
with those damn cameras.

this sounds like what would
     happen on an extremely
bad lsd trip.

But don't think you are
     the environmentally
conscious consumer.

I try to avoid
     expectations in general.
They don't ever help.

Just saying, there is
     always a bad for the good.
or am I just strange?

Ha ha ha I am
     really honored you guys like
my photo I took.

My telepathy
     doesn't seem to be working
very well today.

They had the money
     sitting in a loan account
that I saw online.

that's how it works, right?
     Definitely go. Don't sit
out on things like this.

Because that's slightly
     smarter than whatever else
his brain was cooking.

And then there are all
     the entities that simply
no longer exist.

She would do the same
     for me if the perfect girl
for me came along.

Seven days. I was
     given an ounce of speed when
I was in college.

Then if that wasn't
     enough they pepper sprayed his
elderly mother.

The text as written
     is much better than my way.
This one is broken.

Is this just a hoax?
     What if you were born with just
one functioning ear?

What if you were born
     with just one functioning ear?
No, that's just fiction.

I am pretty sure
     I just ordered the same one
except for in blue.

So while I wouldn't
     mind seeing her everyday,
she might get quite sad.

An unfortunate
     consequence, though I wouldn't
blame the media.

However, mixing
     your own children's medicine
is not one of them.

So, you really *do*
     live in your parents basement!
But why not marriage?

I usually just
     bring high explosives and nuke
everything that moves.

Make sure the players
     know what kind of world you plan
to run the game in.

Either costs go up,
     research stops, we ration care,
or we go bankrupt.