Reddit Haikus

Im on board. Lets go
     Gophers! [deleted] I came
here to post this link.

Time to go expand
     my horizons and listen
to the rest. Good choice.

You get to miss school
     and go around exploring
in the aftermath.

No, in my mind, if
     someone is on a shooting
rampage they are stopped.

I know she would love
     the story in ME (except
the ending, of course).

Love how they listed
     the video as "marriage
proposal" classic!!

This one is just too
     much to handle for me is
that duct tape or paint?

However, he did
     this using his prose and through
precise arguments.

Yeah I find it hard
     to really side with any
party anymore.

The symmetry is
     also part of the reason
why I dislike it.

We had a great time
     together, but, friendships **do
not** last forever.

Unfortunately
     she is just as annoying
as her older self.

Visualize yourself
     where you want to be and how
you want it to go.

Haikus are awesome.
     They sometimes don't make much sense.
Refrigerator.

If you don't plan on
     learning programming than no
IOS app for you.

Clinically insane.
     Religious fools. Wasting time
on superstition.

You're about to be
     fucking rich, if money means
anything to you.

Your life is ready
     to progressive, and you need
to allow it. Yes.

I can do...". It is
     really fun how much you can
do with a shovel.

every test run is
     expensive, and takes precious
time on the machine.

Spend time in nature.
     I'm not just talking about
walks through the woods here.

Basically your first
     world problems are not fuck you
life situations.

Insanity plea
     seems likely and warranted
for this type of crime.

Buffets are always
     cheaper than sit down dinners.
Oh, and the bar tab.

Seriously though,
     did Tommy ever say what
country he is from?

Did a face just slap
     someone and then run away
like a little bitch?

I will hope for you,
     and I will have faith that you
will be fine. Be well.

The key word is "link."
     Post a link that gets up votes,
as I wrote below.

I really dislike
     the fact that my fantasy
book did not come true.

As a Senators
     fan I feel obligated
to say fuck the Leafs.

Thanks for sharing, it's
     good to know that these can last
if taken care of.

You could also try
     some sort of grief consulting
and see if that helps.

"It is what it is."
     "They are writing people up."
"It is what it is."

Again, who are you
     to presume that I often
get called an asshole?

I admit it's not
     much though, and I know greek life
has its plus sides too.

I have a hard time
     teaching my grandparents how
to use a remote...

Even animals
     use stereotypes and snap
judgements to survive.

Congratulations,
     you have moths. Those are cocoons.
Scrape the bastards off.

EDIT: Their website
     confirms that these are covers.
You are fucking hot.

I also know some
     atheists who I do not
consider my friends.

I wake up sweating,
     crying and gasping for breath.
I hurt those I love.

Because for a while
     I thought it was all going
on in my own head.

Until I cast him
     out into the void, with no
hope of survival.

He just plays different
     types of music in different
types of bands, that's all.

We cannot, give them,
     this incredible power,
to take someone's life.

You can shift into
     lower gears to help you slow
down, for example.

Then that one fateful
     day you kick ass as Tommy
and you know you're pro.

As long as he's got
     guts and Calvin Johnson he'll
be fine. I love it!

I simply expressed
     that I don't agree with it.
Multiple bathrooms.

It has a cape too?
     I didn't even know that there
was any with capes.

I didn't even know
     that there was any with capes.
Carl looks fucking baked...

I chuckle a bit
     when you act like you know what
you're talking about.

Two Quotes: "Do I not
     destroy me enemies when
I make friends of them?"

When you place double
     mines like that, can you actually
get damage from both?

I got one to wake
     up, stretch and then move further
back under those stairs.

He would not even
     wear a Japanese watch when
seeing him, either.

Others speculate
     that Dave was selling him coke
and possibly meth.

I had a couple
     in my old house when I lived
out in the country.

If it's possible
     then I can use exactly
what I have to hand.

Nice work. Next time try
     doing a fractal pattern
to up the ante.

That image has stayed
     with me ever since and not
in any good way.

In 4E thunder seems
     to cover the "damage by
really loud sounds" niche.

Yes. But it's not one
     that was in continuous
and regular use.

Then I completely
     explode when Andy donates
the toys to Bonnie.

There was no judge, yet
     still the police can punish
those fans in that way?

If she doesn't get
     those types of things, then why would
I want to date her?

The stupid thing is
     we can get charged if we set
something like that up.

treat him like you would
     anyone flirting with you,
and see where it goes.

Sounds like quite a trip.
     Have fun and best of luck, Don't
make this about you.

[deleted] Hate you
     Lots of people in mainland
England speak English.

Except they mop up
     shit and thus their tactic will
never really work.

I expect they do
     whatever they want to try
and get more money.

If you'd like, I can
     whip us up some lunch real quick,
maybe that'll help.

How much money you
     need will depend a lot on
your style of travel.

Anyone else just
     not find this funny at all?
I just don't get it...

You never know when
     you will find a variant
that just works for you.

Dressing in women's
     clothes doesn't make a person
"Super Gay". Grow up.

at the hospital
     over by St John's Wood (next
to the cricket ground).

Not enough people
     know trust me, I could care less
about who buys it.

[deleted] Don't you
     mean the Angry Deformed Birds?
That did the trick man.

Sorry about that,
     I was worried my wording
would confuse people.

last picture is all
     the motivation i need
to keep working out.

However, I do
     believe peoples thought process
goes something like this.

She's still a strong pick
     if she's played right with a team
comp built around her.

I guess you're still young
     and actually give a shit what
other people think.

I had the exact
     same thing with the Pizza Hut
I used to work at.

So let him not love
     you, obviously you don't
need him anyway.

Rule of thumb: Treat them
     like oysters and toss away
the unopened ones.

I hope this doesn't
     sound condescending, because
I don't mean it to.

If by *you guys*, you
     mean *I*, and by *a kick*, you
mean *karma*, then yes.

You have no business
     speaking for the whole without
consulting it first.

Just ask if you want
     something translated, but it's
mostly just nonsense.

Not choosing the side
     that is almost certainly
right is pretty dumb.

Nice try person who
     came up with the idea
for "Children of Men".

And the truth is, there
     is absolutely ZERO
evidence for God.

How could you even
     defend yourself to fellow
men that knew your thoughts?

Without knowing how
     to count in Romanian,
it'll be pretty hard.

I guess you've never
     looked at what happened beyond
the TV reports.

For PC users:
     Just got prompted to get new
Origin update.

If you are banned, you
     are not legally allowed
on the property.

I'm right handed Oh,
     Cupcakes. Boy, do I ever
remember Cupcakes.

But I honestly
     don't know Yeah, how dare she be
judgmental prick, right?

**Bolton Wanderers:**
     Not sure about Owen Coyle
or Bolton really.

Lose when they shouldn't.
     Potentially have the best
left back in the league.

Trust me. Probably not
     anytime where I would be
made into a slave.

Sorry, I was too
     busy looking at her boobs.
Baby carriages.

End Of. :P When you
     get a friend request, you don't
really have much choice.

[deleted] I hate
     the comparison of Five
Guys to In n' Out.

I would if I didn't
     already own all the ones
I liked already.

I should also state
     that I mentioned "up front" when
money got involved.

I'd always vaguely
     considered pensions to be
treated as wages.

I haven't got round
     to buying them yet, money
is a little tight.

Especially stuff you
     understand a bit of or
can guess the context.

It's just an increase
     in the current discount if you
buy your council home.

Wow. You certainly
     don't look like a guy who hides
away studying!

I read this as "raid
     leader" and thought, "Well, they *do*
look kind of nerdy...".

TELL THEM WE WON'T TAKE
     ANYTHING IF THERE'S NO THIRD
SEASON OF BIG O!

First up, remember
     that you're not the first person
to encounter this.

Since this comment is
     completely useless, here's some
karma for you all.

i walked around work
     with my mouth open pointing
to my tongue grunting.

That if you're black, you'll
     actually get arrested when
you attack someone?

[deleted] This has
     probably already been asked,
but I can't see it.

I hated that shit.
     Actually, this one girl I know.
Though now she's pregnant.

So try not to stress;
     if Maggie really loves you
then shit may work out.

Get the gas, it's much
     nicer than being awake
for the surgery.

You stay awesome too!
     The best thing I got is O
stone or Plague Boiler.

So that story could
     be a lie she came up with.
That's why it's like that.

I don't understand
     why it doesn't work under
"English (Canada)".

To me, that's bullshit.
     **You** have **your** own life, and **your**
own choices **you've** made.

Informative. Yes.
     People should also be free
to kill infidels.

It's a movie quote?
     Try coming up with your *own*
sentences some time.

Socially Awkward
     Penguin award of the day
goes to Farabee.

Did anyone else
     read this in an Alaskan
soccer mom accent.

If you can prove those
     premises then we at least
have somewhere to go.

But a genuine
     idealist is kept humble
by circumstances.

A wool one for most
     winter days and then a down
one for the worst days.

I don't understand
     how people not like horses.
Amazing creatures.

I'm employed solely
     on the fact that I have some
knowledge on my head.

I'd just say to them
     'listen guys, I'm sorry, but
I don't make the rules...

Because people don't
     have guns, and it's pretty hard
to get hold of one.

There are some bigger
     complexes south of Gandy.
Yeah, awesome! Thank you.

Those resources towards
     raiding the school would have been
better put elsewhere.

Sis, as in "sister",
     the one that makes fun of you
because you're a nerd.

So, what, he's saying
     domestic violence is
always the mans fault?

Client: oh my god.
     (Laughing) There I turned it on,
I see everything.

Then I had to take
     Cortisone pills. That taste stuck
in my mouth for hours.

Randi is nothing
     more than a skilled publicist
and stage performer.

I do like Sam's meat
     but their aren't many other
options where I live.

Be the change you wish
     to see in the world Gandhi
The band is perfect.

But I would rather
     pay a fair price for a cab's
intended function.

"Okay, I got this,
     will just bike past that asshole
when he looks away.

The server guy was
     in a class with me and just
laughed when I walked in.

I like having two
     AD carries on a team too,
it's pretty scary.

This answer goes back
     to the land monopoly
that Tucker describes.

In a small nutshell
     that is how I found my niche
in the metal world.

Let's stop worrying
     about who's going to be
the next president.

Our little group was
     talking shit on him all game
until the fifth. Hah.

It's not as easy
     as just making yourself work
out and eat healthy.

Recycling. Fuck it,
     might be an asshole move but
I'd tell her parents.

What's that, alley oop?
     Well okay I guess.." Don't care
about the anus?

[deleted] Being
     drunk doesn't mean you would do
things you never do.

Where did you go? Hey,
     and carpets! And dishwashers!
And doors with hinges!

From the looks of it,
     you aren't far off a six pack
in a month or two.

Eventually you
     will come across one which has
the pegs folded in.

The internet is
     the internet, nothing you
can do about it.

The placebo pills,
     whether taking them or not,
won't do anything.

With all those empty
     seats, it looks like a Leafs game.
I followed this [guide.

That was just the plan
     that had been ingrained in me
from when I was young.

My understanding
     is now different and I am
not happy with it.

Also I think that's
     my voice about halfway through.
Glad you posted this.

Lately I've had some
     success with trying half an hour
on, half an hour off.

I also don't think
     the timeline for these arrests
is correct either.

Clean. *Most* millionaires
     make the bulk of their income
through capital gains?

*Most* millionaires make
     the bulk of their income through
capital gains? Source?

Coca Cola has
     so much fructose in it it's
not even funny.

Also if you want
     something here I'll bargain if
you don't have a karp.

And that by posting
     this it shows that he's somehow
bitter toward women.

I'm no science but
     how would that explosion scale
to the size of Earth?

also at the end
     I extended it using
your intro again.

Hands down knocks the shit
     out of anything I've played
in the last few years.

But yes, that's my pick.
     I think it is possible
that it could be fixed.

This was written much
     better on another stall
posted months ago.

Answers we can use
     to make our lives, the only
ones we have, better.

Best thing to do is
     just email Pat Barnett What
college were you at?

And I have been trying
     to lose weight, and so far, I've
dropped two pants sizes.

She will not let you
     go, you need to find someone
else ASAP.

[deleted] I grew
     up in Detroit in a house
built in the late 1800s.

because it really
     looks like you went on sunday.
Not that it matters.

yea if you really
     know what you are doing you
can get a good deal.

I must shoot straighter
     than any enemy who
is trying to kill me.

The wedding took place
     on this awesome little stage
that was in the park.

I sort of hate you
     for making me laugh just now.
What did you expect?

Thanks for the advice,
     I hope this is as tasty
as you swear it'll be.

one part would contract
     more, another would release,
then contract again.

Soon as you mentioned
     the local butcher I knew
where it was going.

I see a few holes
     in your "better solutions
exist" argument.

seriously just
     explain it like everyone
is telling you to.

You want dissonance?!
     Listen to fucking Sonic
Youth! Seriously.

Just really isn't
     that big of a deal to me.
Vegetarian?

To summarize this,
     income can never be taxed
out of existence.

But they're expanding
     everywhere so they must be
doing something right.