Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 399 of 1746

Haiku #14653

That way you can know.
     Like I said I did not mean
for it to sound rude.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14654

Our tap water is
     by far the most disgusting
I've ever tasted.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14655

But at the same time
     he came on super strong when
I didn't say a thing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14656

Also that the air
     strike Gadhafi ordered were
against these rebels.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14657

On the other hand,
     you can't control the other
drivers on the road.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14658

I'm almost in tears.
     I am in tears. What have you
done to me good sir.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14659

[deleted] Last time
     this happened it was my best
friend and her girlfriend.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14660

Man sets himself on
     fire and dies as a result.
You can't explain that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14661

Sure, you say, it might
     not happen to you because
you're unimportant.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14662

Or parents. Or God."
     I would but I kinda need
my phone for more stuff.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14663

I actually can't stand
     to watch tv or movies
*without* subtitles.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14664

Remove. Whisk a few
     eggs together and scramble
on low heat. Remove.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14665

It's a whole different
     story when it comes to guys
doing the same thing..

Score: 0          

Haiku #14666

Ah, didn't know dogs were
     sensitive, although I did
know cats were immune.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14667

All the people want
     is freedom and we're going
to help them get it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14668

That was pretty sick.
     Good breakdowns definitely
have their time and place.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14669

When it doesn't go
     out which is most all the time
he does coffee curls.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14670

You say that when you're
     back home together things feel
like they never changed..

Score: 0          

Haiku #14671

That's just shockingly
     illogical (coming from
the "renowned" linguist).

Score: 0          

Haiku #14672

But I wouldn't say
     my boobs are my best asset.
I don't have huge ones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14673

Did I walk too close
     to you? Did you stub your toe?
You ok? We touched.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14674

Thanks for the picture,
     getting me all excited!
Are you kidding me?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14675

Slowly, the power
     would consume me, and I'd lose
all moral bearing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14676

Unit cohesion
     can make or break your National
Guard experience.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14677

He's positioned his
     God in an area where
you can't question it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14678

Want to see if it's
     any different of a feel
then my normal stuff.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14679

We're supposed to be
     this liberal city where you
can "do what you want".

Score: 0          

Haiku #14681

Its Quantitative
     research in practice and used
in everyday life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14682

They made me forgot
     the whole world and bounce around
like a little kid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14683

Yeah, even after
     we decided not to date.
Thanks for your advice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14684

What? Why? I actually
     really like Odom, I wish
he was on the Spurs.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14685

Yes, it does, it just
     does so over a longer
period of time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14686

I thought the prophets
     actually saw God, since they claim
to talk to him, right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14687

[deleted] Because
     children don't always tell their
parents everything?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14688

That made me feel good
     about my situation
thank you very much.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14689

I can't understand
     why he's seen as this brooding,
romantic hero.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14690

TIL... I wonder if
     anyone ever peed on
Jesus' carpet. Yep.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14691

That happens about
     half the time I actually get
through to somebody.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14692

I don't think the game
     ever said you could stamp but
maybe I missed it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14693

But with that said, if
     there are only three people
in Stockholm. Fair call.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14694

Yeah, batteries are
     no better now than they were
ten years ago. Yeah.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14695

It does also say
     ".../or deleted or erased"
So what's the problem?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14696

A ton of it, but
     this was realized about two
weeks before he died.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14698

Tofu? No problem,
     Spinach?, no prob. Crabs? Do you
want them cooked or raw?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14699

Heat in a bottle?
     Either way, the fire will cleanse!!
makes it official.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14700

He might have some good
     points later but I don't want
to listen to him.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14701

I have searched and searched
     to a reason why these things
were so popular.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14702

It may take a while
     to fill but it could be done
within a few years.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14703

Everyone and their
     mother (literally) told him
not to marry her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14704

Some of those that work
     forces, are the same that burn
crosses Im with you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14705

I just can't handle
     horror films and I don't want
to be able to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14706

This way they wouldn't
     be consuming Japans much
needed resources.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14707

This kind of touches
     on part of the reason why
I asked this question.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14708

Holy Moly *Could
     you describe a typical
day at the workplace?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14709

Keeping busy can
     help distract you from thinking
about the breakup.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14710

[deleted] Do you
     mean how to cite references
within the paper?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14711

They have actually been
     first responders in several
cases in the past.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14713

This season has sucked.
     Oh I totally agree
and you are correct.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14714

Although... All women
     are crazy, and all guys are
"mentally challenged."

Score: 0          

Haiku #14715

As much as I hate
     to say it, this is something
WoW did very well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14716

Someone do the math.
     It would be a fairly nice
way to protest too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14717

[deleted] Glenn Beck!
     Damn I'd beat the shit outta
that motherfucker.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14718

Maybe. Will I dress
     differently than I do on
any other day?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14720

It serves a purpose
     and I'm wary about stuff
like this. How on earth!!!....

Score: 0          

Haiku #14721

The real blood gets spilt
     after the revolution
when scores are settled.

Score: 0          

Haiku #203352

Lol during
     testing it was easier
to do it that way.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14791

I live in Denmark,
     and I wouldn't be surprised
if it happened here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14792

Paris Hilton is
     probably the first example
that will jump to mind.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14793

After a fairly
     comfortable evening out,
my date walks me home.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14794

I've had therapists
     who tried to had me labeled
with crazy ailments.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14795

I'm not saying girls
     shouldn't be programmers or
anything like that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14796

Fate has intervened
     and this is your best chance yet
to break free from CoD!

Score: 0          

Haiku #14797

I think Shogun was
     able to close and land three
punches the whole fight.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14798

I was visiting
     family over a weekend
and had a sore throat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14799

If you just jump right
     to trying to smear them, they might
just clench up tighter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14800

No, definitely
     not, I just don't see a way
out yet at this point.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14801

I don't think it's wise
     to believe it will happen
in your own lifetime.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14802

I thought you did too?
     On occasion, tea is cold.
We call it iced tea.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14803

On occasion, tea
     is cold. We call it iced tea.
I thought you did too?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14804

Absolutely true!
     The last thing Egypt needs is
Democracy now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14805

Things worth seeing start
     somewhere around the time you
start to see mountains.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14806

Not something I'd want
     to do again, but once or
twice is interesting.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14807

Reporting for FOX
     isn't worth your life man, get
the hell out of there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14808

You can shift that trust
     around the system, but you
can't get rid of it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14809

Comparing a US
     President to a Rapper...
Not so classy! Yep.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14810

This is a pretty
     good motivator if you're
able to see that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14811

If it was a lot
     more subtle, I think it'd
sound great. Your mother?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14812

I have always been
     someone my friends and family
call when in trouble.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14813

What's really scary
     is if you actually read what
this stuff is made from.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14814

Thank you very much,
     that's the very next book I'm
going to order!

Score: 0          

Haiku #14815

Yes yes yes yes yes.
     This is the happiest news
I've heard in ages.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14816

So that shows God had
     to create it in order
for it to exist!

Score: 0          

Haiku #14817

Clearly this guy is
     dumb as a bag of hammers.
Why did you caps lock?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14818

I can understand
     the schedule aspect of it,
in the "control" sense.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14819

Only comment if
     you can contribute something
to the discussion.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14820

I go for a blood
     test in the next month or so,
and I'll know for sure.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14821

Other ones with loose
     bottom brackets, loose headsets,
loose spokes, you name it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14822

For the love of all
     that is good and holy please
shave your legs year round.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14823

I couldn't find one
     with subtitles, sorry, but
anyway, [behold!

Score: 0          

Haiku #28911

Now tell me on how
     Secret Invasion was good
at all of any?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14824

"I can't do that here.
     I can't do that here. My pack
won't hold anymore.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14825

I can't do that here.
     My pack won't hold anymore.
I can't do that here."

Score: 0          

Haiku #14826

I don't understand
     why Canadian's go on
about this so much.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14827

Business Analysts
     require degrees, simply due
to competition.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14828

You need to accept
     you have the right to grieve then
you need to move on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14829

I hope that you will
     consider this serious
risk to his future.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14830

So eventually
     when you go to bed, your brain
is like, Sweet! Sleep! Snore!

Score: 0          

Haiku #14831

You can actually see
     the whole area on screen,
it's just really dark.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14832

People would just park
     behind each other and leave
their car in neutral.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14833

If I were you, I'd
     try to size up half a size,
and see how that works.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14834

Now I decided
     to divorce and pursue all
that I missed in life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14835

But some are really
     easy on the work and you
really learn a lot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14836

That said though, I think
     the world needs a good little
eugenics programme.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14837

That puny child can't
     possibly fight back *because*
I'm such a big man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14838

Looks like it could be
     Diane Simmons. I haven't
been since we got here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14839

Genuine interest.
     Horizontal goes across
like the horizon.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14840

That's not relevant
     to the argument we are
currently having.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14841

In much the same way,
     I don't give a fuck that we've
got a president.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14843

Sure, you might not get
     mesothelioma, but
is it worth the risk?

Score: 0          

Haiku #14844

I have seen many
     things in my life but that just
about made me spew.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14845

people were happy
     or sad, adults or children.
They could not be both.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14846

I made exactly
     ONE phone call, asked for that same
manager by name.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14847

DIscipline your mind
     and your boredom will decrease
to normal levels.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14848

The only difference
     is that this one involves six
reactors, not one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14849

I was that bike, once
     [deleted] What a fucking
stupid thing to say.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14850

And now to explain
     that to the other people,
sleeping in this house.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14851

The screen is very
     high resolution which makes
reading a pleasure.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14852

I would love to see
     someone from Antarctica.
I quite like... my own.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14853

There's no way Ender
     and Valentine were both chaste
until their thirties.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14854

I'll do my job next
     week, bro [](/troll) You can also
blink really quickly.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14856

other than saying
     "this didn't have to happen" all
one can do is grieve.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14858

Or even if there
     were some way to remove posts
once a piece had sold.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14859

I'm not saying its
     good that radiation leaked
from fukushima.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14860

Come on BYU...
     Renovated the bathroom
in our old farm house.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14861

It sucks if you don't
     have the cash to do that, you
have my sympathy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15075

How we hope this will
     just go away and we can
get on with our lives?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15076

Seriously though,
     crappy jewelry looks awful,
class it up a bit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15077

To which you followed
     up with "nice job you fucking
douche", right? The Matrix.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15078

That's it. Iran has
     not threatened any country
in last century.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15079

It'll be completely
     different depending on her
background and family.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15080

My mom almost had
     another dog, a puppy,
killed because of that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15081

But whether they are
     "abused" in that manner or
not, they are still slaves.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15082

You need a number
     to give them or you will not
get a full contract.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15083

I am sure he would
     have loved to have his buddy
with him all the time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15084

Not everyone has
     the same opportunities
the rest of us do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14301

[deleted] It gets
     more interesting when you put
something above it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15085

What could be more New
     York than wanting to see Los
Angeles destroyed?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15086

Closure for victims
     is, I say, an important
part of the system.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15087

I can literally
     walk there from work so I go
every day on lunch.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15088

Just the people who
     NEED to. So, the prices would
be a lot higher.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15089

As an Indian
     who is arranging my love
marriage, I agree!

Score: 0          

Haiku #15090

loved being able
     to design my own levels.
Its just not worth it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15091

How can we force our
     reps to go after these guys
and push that issue?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15092

Unfortunately
     we didn't have any around
besides nail polish.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15093

Broken hearts do heel.
     And it's kind of you to be
worried about her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15094

Atheists simply
     latch onto morality
like a parasite.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15095

This is exactly
     the kind of criticism
I was looking for!

Score: 0          

Haiku #15096

My ultimate goal
     is to complete a 5K race
without walking once.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15097

If Republicans
     did it to us, we would be
pissed beyond belief.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15098

What's that? You are just
     as full of shit in saying
"Consoles are better!"

Score: 0          

Haiku #15099

Get over yourself,
     there are many people much
happier than you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15100

The standardized tests
     here in my state have also
seen relative growth.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15101

I'm sorry to hear
     about all the nasty things
that happened to you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15102

i think she just got
     into her mom's make up kit,
not tanning. i hope.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15103

The smaller the dot
     pitch, the clearer and better
looking the picture.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15104

[deleted] Tell her
     she should relax and suggest
she should play some games.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15105

A few months later
     I managed to cause a small
leak in the fuel tank.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15106

Vote yes on the next
     decriminalization
bill your state puts up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15107

I do not care if
     the rest of the world agrees,
it is still a fact.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15108

They love people like
     OP, that have bought their bullshit
hook, line and sinker.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15109

Obama doesn't
     make laws. Get a Civics book.
And it moves us all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15110

I was socially
     awkward, and I had very
little confidence.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15111

My vehicle is
     just a little bit bigger
than that, but not much.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15112

And then I just pushed
     OK when it scanned without
reading what it was.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15113

Apple created
     the market and perfected
the technology.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15114

Lol. Suckers.
     When I get home from work I'll
have to check it out!

Score: 0          

Haiku #15115

Oxford, Ohio.
     Home of the real Miami
University.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15116

It may bring you some
     donations and ad money,
at the very least.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15117

If I had a face
     like that, I would shave my ass
and walk on my hands.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15118

However, unless
     you're a therapist, don't try
to take on that role.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15119

My dreams are now clear
     as daylight and seem to go
on for hours and hours.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15120

That makes us cool. *What
     would I want a free ride for?
I'm already here.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15121

I mean it's not like
     the patriot act was used
to bust drug dealers.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15122

How proficient are
     you in excel and just what
are you trying to track?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15123

I will NEVER let
     another human being
physically harm me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15124

Within that framework,
     the movie was still charming
and entertaining.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15126

He just watched back his
     replays, or analyzed why
he lost and moved on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15127

Dr. Dog. Love all their
     albums, and they put on one
hell of a live show.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15128

Umm, wouldn't Paris
     Hilton and Bruno Mars be
considered rich too?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15129

(or some similar
     variation) and Matthew
Broderick says, "He's French!"

Score: 0          

Haiku #15130

I wouldn't go out
     and buy them tho African
or European?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15131

That doesn't look like
     any sort of dingo i've
ever seen before.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15132

The attacker was
     concealed in some shrubbery
planted near the door.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15133

Doesn't the creep spread
     enough that the cannons can't
hit the hatchery?

Score: 0          

Haiku #15134

I would suggest you
     look into light swimming if
you want to stay fit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15135

I'd draw a picture,
     but I'm at work and don't want
to get in trouble.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15136

It was put way up
     high on the wall so you had
to stretch to reach it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15137

Yay! :D Will do. "im
     on my psychedelic high
horse due to my age.".

Score: 0          

Haiku #15138

Now I've got "This is
     my rifle, this is my gun"
running through my head.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15139

Every time I click
     anything on that, it takes
quite a while to load.

Score: 0          

Haiku #15140

How hard would it be
     to remove their incentives
to give high ratings?

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:28 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.