Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #700

There are many things
     we do not let our children
do, like driving cars.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19647

I have a beach trip
     with some friends soon and I plan
on smoking one then.

Score: 2          

Haiku #65472

Plus she was being
     all shady with Andrea
in the beginning.

Score: 2          

Haiku #314810

Whereas if a man
     said something happened, no one
questions or doubts it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #5585

Indeed. He is too
     generous, I gonna try
ask him for money...

Score: 2          

Haiku #6537

I appreciate
     your concern though and I'm glad
you offered to help.

Score: 2          

Haiku #260958

I'm wondering, why
     is the page so, uh I can't
think of the word. Long?

Score: 2          

Haiku #46016

What I usually
     do is check the CDs out
at the library.

Score: 2          

Haiku #798

It worked. How did you
     make money if it didn't go
up (or down) in price?

Score: 2          

Haiku #5535

Donkey Kong Country
     has to be one of the most
fun games of all time.

Score: 2          

Haiku #211306

He's not disabled.
     Heck, there's people who have like
no hands who are gold.

Score: 2          

Haiku #25069

The ostracism
     comes after a totally
justified beating.

Score: 2          

Haiku #796

But if he's talking
     about the "God hates fags" stuff,
then yeah, that's hate speech.

Score: 2          

Haiku #18938

These people don't want
     to be there, there is nowhere
else for them to go.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19696

But to forbid tips
     as if wage is enough is
borderline evil.

Score: 2          

Haiku #209106

Also the placement,
     spacing and scale of the type
bothers me a bit.

Score: 2          

Haiku #40407

Sometimes they make eye
     contact and then just go back
to watching the show.

Score: 2          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 2          

Haiku #40405

However, I feel
     that this is almost pointless
to argue about.

Score: 2          

Haiku #8797

Other guys may think
     I'm pussy whipped, but the truth
is I'm pussy whipped.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19048

Do you find yourself
     feeling as though you don't fit
in still to this day?

Score: 2          

Haiku #19123

I feel that order
     and meaning are things which are
created by minds.

Score: 2          

Haiku #175347

It might be a good
     sex life to you but it won't
be to everyone.

Score: 2          

Haiku #193555

[deleted] I am
     tattooed and pierced, and I am
interesting as fuck.

Score: 2          

Haiku #193575

That and the camera
     seems to be zoomed in too close
much of the time. Why?

Score: 1          

Haiku #200283

She is literally
     aiming to be traumatized.
Like everyone else.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200286

I don't. How could you?
     It's a big dark cloud looming
over me (and you).

Score: 1          

Haiku #200289

But more than likely,
     you have no idea what
you're talking about.

Score: 1          

Haiku #184697

Homophobia
     doesn't disappear once gay
marriage is legal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175267

Just purrs like crazy..
     Probably thinks it's a massage
pillow for him. Yes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206486

If I'm right I look
     like a genius, if I'm wrong
I look retarded.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206503

i made horrible
     choices but i know she is
the person i want.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175301

None of us know if
     Jesus was up tight or would
have laughed at this prank.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175254

There's military
     with machine guns at the bus
stations every day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175259

No? Have you been banned
     from posting for not toeing
our party line? No?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #184656

:p So my dog seems
     to understand to not pee
or poop on carpet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206446

I know I would love
     to see a preview of Beth
before the train scene.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193553

Over all I'd say
     he is very balanced if
you know how he plays.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193554

Or take a day trip
     up to Toronto and just
walk around downtown.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193556

Maybe Murray too.
     I'd drop Ivory for Herron
no questions asked though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #211043

Porn addiction is
     actually one of the hardest
things to quit I've found.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193558

And everyone is
     always *friendly* in a south
city kind of way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196297

Its illogical.
     Queer christian theology
makes no sense to me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193559

I have about four
     prescriptions that have my wife's
name on them, not mine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193560

Don't worry about
     motivation, just do what
you can when you can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193561

See dude, that's all great
     and dandy, the problem here
is the tendency.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193562

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196373

Life doesn't need our
     permission to progress from
one stage to the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196388

Breast shells are worn when
     not nursing to help draw out
inverted nipples.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193563

That's not to say its
     impossible, but it won't
exist for some time.

Score: 1          

Haiku #211014

Wipe off the snow from
     your nose and lean back and you
should be good to go.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210992

Are you sure you want
     to close all programs and shut
down the computer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193567

He's come to learn who
     mother and father refers
to just like our names.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193568

There is no excuse
     for thugs to rule the hood' just
cause they think they can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193569

Well, to all of you,
     I say good. That's what happens
when real trade takes place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209278

You deserve better.
     But if this is what you want
this is what you get.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209279

Take a prescription
     opiate Wow this feels great
not in any pain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209321

I just feel there are
     better solutions than just
killing the fetus.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209318

The key is to start
     playing the game, or else you
won't find anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209315

You're not an addict
     because you have good coping
skills for your issues.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209303

He wants to rebuild
     America from the pure
genes of the Enclave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193571

You used the plural
     ("consequences"). They only
knew that they would die.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209313

Neat. Thanks. that's some edge
     you have there my friend, how is
6th grade going?

Score: 1          

Haiku #193573

I don't know about
     all that, but it has always
been easy for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193574

But on the Mac side,
     the cost differential is
more esoteric.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231713

If something happens
     and I need to shop around,
will remember this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231714

Looks like other folks
     in thus thread agree just fine
though so whatever.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237441

I've had too many
     bikes stolen to want to mess
with them anymore.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231696

If it didn't run like
     shit, it would be a great game
on PC as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265212

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257141

Do you really think
     each of these star wars movies
will be Blockbusters?

Score: 1          

Haiku #265176

No shoes in the house.
     I want to minimize dirt
and particulates.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257146

Actually, I am "trained"
     in journalism as well,
but thanks for playing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257145

My friend used to say
     taking pictures distracts from
the fun you're having.

Score: 1          

Haiku #263750

You do know being
     correct involves more than just
using big words right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #263724

If you really care
     about your rank then practice
and improve yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257150

That's ridiculous.
     Did you laugh him out the door
as soon as you saw?

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #259492

A meal an a half?
     And mostly salads? You WILL
NOT build muscle with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257153

It also appears
     difficult for you to find
some sort of escape.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259443

You have a point there
     Damn straight Any ace streams yet?
Learn from your mistakes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259399

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

Score: 1          

Haiku #259381

I have a duty
     to my daughter. To the realm.
Even to Robert.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257211

I would be pretty
     disappointed with Wizards
if that was the case.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257209

He knows full well why
     people are weeping, he knows
full well what happened.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238039

The real question is,
     why haven't you checked yourself
for autism yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #238037

My poor ears. I am
     currently wearing business
shorts at the office.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238048

Everything is hard
     before it becomes easy.
Can you hear me now?

Score: 1          

Haiku #231709

If that's accurate,
     it means that moderation
doesn't work for you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237442

People are crazy.
     All circles are upside down.
Squares are right side up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237451

The thing is, if you
     feel as if you're too squishy,
then you probably are.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237444

As an male trending
     to Alpha, you shouldn't care
what men FEEL. Make sense?

Score: 1          

Haiku #250157

"Say 'I'm the Captain
     now' again motherfucker,
I double dare you."

Score: 1          

Haiku #39084

In your defense, you
     had legitimate belief
to think she was drunk.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333788

Don't let him do it,
     he doesn't deserve to feel
better about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96827

I think you words up
     some mixed I know my dad would
probably be upset.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257138

I can understand
     the ones who were drafted or
threatened at gunpoint.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257174

^^^Should ^^^I ^^^say ^^^it? ^^^Cause
     ^^^I ^^^think ^^^I ^^^want ^^^to ^^^say ^^^it.
^^^I'm ^^^gonna ^^^say ^^^it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257180

She was important
     in the first arc because, well,
obvious reasons.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40767

I'm talking about
     the "secret" area. Claire?
That's a fat girl's name.

Score: 1          

Haiku #213175

My life was my own.
     That first month was beautiful.
I fixed the place up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96694

the space is nice, just
     not what they did with it You
aren't denying it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #149154

Now, with these stars, there
     also became galaxies,
gatherings of stars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #118807

Seriously though,
     California is the best
citrus growing state.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333791

Anyway it was
     our first night there and we were
all pretty tired.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333792

I'm aware of where
     I am in reality
so I try to move.

Score: 1          

Haiku #120421

But he shrugs it off
     every time I try to talk
to him about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333885

The scene where Gus tells
     Shawn that he talked to a ghost
when he was a child.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333886

[removed] Get married
     to someone who care about
you and your interests.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333895

One method is not
     worrying about other
people's opinions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337106

and only five bucks
     I lived in France for a few
months after uni.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337108

So many people
     need to get the giant sticks
out of their asses.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337113

Look up at a night
     sky without light pollution.
Enjoy those moments.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333913

[deleted] Not Moose,
     I like him so far. I'm not
mad about Bennett.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333917

You're picking Gaudreau,
     Wheeler, Kesler and Marchand
over Seguin? Thanks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #333288

I said the moment
     I posted this that I didn't
know the whole story.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333926

I'm sure lecturing
     people like they're children will
really change their minds.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333933

Might be neat. Do you
     know any trans singers who
do something like that?

Score: 1          

Haiku #38654

I don't have any
     keys currently, but I could
overpay in hats.

Score: 1          

Haiku #331981

You don't like to touch
     people's hands but you're willing
to handle money.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333287

When I stop winning,
     I'll stop doing it. I like
the story the most.

Score: 1          

Haiku #117259

First off, I don't know
     why you think I'm complaining
about anything.

Score: 1          

Haiku #225669

My bad! I actually
     did this so long along but
forgot to post it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #195058

I'm just trying to get
     people to understand why
people don't like it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #195115

It's mostly hot air,
     opinion and conjecture.
Total waste of time.

Score: 1          

Haiku #190081

I have twice broken
     the same toe while trying to step
over my suitcase.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5642

I can guess whether
     someone is male or female
based on their whistle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333787

Why would I? No, there
     is nothing to base that on,
as far as I know.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98028

There's no evidence
     to support or refute it.
So it's possible.

Score: 1          

Haiku #250137

As soon as something
     good is available it's
sold out within hours.

Score: 1          

Haiku #250281

who else do you want
     your son to learn about his
dick from? Very true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130367

i don't think you can,
     mine is on a work laptop
which goes everywhere.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231906

The struggle was real.
     Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck CT
scans came back normal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #173450

Either way, it's not
     like I'm saying, "Go ahead
and fuck your sister!

Score: 1          

Haiku #235481

I'm from Kentucky.
     Can I send you some bourbon
that'll change your mind?

Score: 1          

Haiku #96739

Like with car salesmen,
     the smart consumer makes them
work for the business.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333790

This way he knows what
     he is going to see when
you finally meet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200268

You are always missed.
     Someone will remember you.
It's in our nature.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36574

I'm still not opposed
     to watching it if it should
wind up on TV.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292776

I was also sleep
     deprived for days and slipped more
and more out of it...

Score: 1          

Haiku #148979

Do greatness. I just
     went there, there a lot of white
people on that site.

Score: 1          

Haiku #139331

And, of course, BREASTS. Man..
     None of my friends have stolen
anything for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #138944

If you, as a man,
     don't want to be a parent,
you **do** have options.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155544

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166252

I wanted to throw
     War and Peace, but it was on
my Kindle, so no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155011

If I saw this guy
     doing that to a bike, I'd
punch him in the face.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136658

as the top post on
     my front page. So excellent.
I can't stop smiling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #139212

Call me crazy but
     the magic of the 80s should
stay in that era.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166244

With an audible
     and dramatic sigh Audrey
jabbed at her keyboard.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166248

Place road directly
     over river and the bridge
will create itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166251

You don't really care
     either way, but regardless
he is getting dressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #79044

I see you derive
     your self worth from arguing
on the internet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #79040

His outlook on life
     is a model to live by.
I'm saving the link.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69171

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69173

Aversion in taste
     exists to protect you from
potential poisons.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69175

And I do murder
     all I want, and the amount
I want is zero.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69179

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69181

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #79039

Iron Man. He's rich,
     he gets beautiful women
and he blows shit up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69184

I have a friend who
     does it, and she says its kicks
the shit out of her.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74873

No one know for sure,
     but they do know it isn't
because of drowning.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69194

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74863

Smoking weed isn't
     worth risking your health. I am.
Impressive sleuthing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74855

The best part is when
     all the old Uncles get drunk
and tell dirty jokes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46785

He rarely comes out
     and says "men bad, women good"
or something like that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #79050

I don't eat much fruit,
     but I make an exception
for watermelon.

Score: 1          

Haiku #60548

It's the future, no
     one knows how it will turn out.
There is only hope.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69166

Puns and other smart
     alec remarks are what makes
the world go around.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #748

Because, if they were,
     then the auto makers would
be producing them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #745

Hope I was able
     to communicate my point,
if not, it's my fault.

Score: 1          

Haiku #744

Over the years I've
     seen dozens of pages like
this, most of them real.

Score: 1          

Haiku #743

In which case you mean
     *maxim* of action, as Kant
would probably have it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #742

No, what's happening is
     that shareholders' property
is being abused.

Score: 1          

Haiku #741

But you see NO ONE
     for your entire sentence.
You eat in your cell.

Score: 1          

Haiku #740

Here's a tip. It's NOT
     the most trusted source of news
to Americans.

Score: 1          

Haiku #739

They're all prone to flip
     when subjected to extreme
lateral forces.

Score: 1          

Haiku #689

I suspect I will
     miss it as I take my next
trip to Seattle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #733

The Da Vinci Code
     and its fans just suck, sorry
to break it to ya.

Score: 1          

Haiku #729

Can't bring up Mises
     and expect the Institute
to stay out of it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #727

It is not at all
     surprising that they wouldn't
help a dying man.

Score: 1          

Haiku #730

If it's such a bad
     movie, why do people go
to see it so much?

Score: 1          

Haiku #722

Many will probably
     give this post a boost based on
the headline alone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #720

No? Okay, that means
     you're not picking up the IP
address correctly.

Score: 1          

Haiku #719

For example, say
     the problem is "My network
connection won't work".

Score: 1          

Haiku #718

Oh, that's his point? Great,
     an entire article
based on a straw man.

Score: 1          

Haiku #711

You can't just say "I'd
     have done things smarter" and not
present a real plan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #715

That necessitates
     *some* positive feedback, like,
I don't know, "thank you."

Score: 1          

Haiku #714

So I think there may
     be more to it than the nerds
and the rich people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #14157

This seriously
     annoys the shit out of me
when people say this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #14163

[deleted] Call her
     and in a rushed voice ask her
what size ring she wears.

Score: 1          

Haiku #14201

To air out your nips?
     His stories have been proven
to be all bullshit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #14205

It was really tough.
     And made me think of the day
I will lose my dog.

Score: 1          

Haiku #14220

Girlfriends are like jobs.
     Once you get one, it's easy
to get another.

Score: 1          

Haiku #712

They can continue
     to pay substandard wages
for substandard work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #709

I don't understand
     what it means to recreate
Silicon Valley.

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Thursday Aug 11, 2022 05:00:03 AM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.