Reddit Haikus

I think the world is
     going to have to get used
to, you know, progress.

Okay, thanks. I'll be
     sure to hang out sooner than
later, just in case.

Do you go with straight
     up regular muscle milk
or just switch it up?

There's very little
     difference between Michael Scott
and Tandy Miller.

Just like the Cowboys
     defense has been a complete
joke the past few years.

Honestly believe
     Gomez could do a very
decent job somewhere.

If you say something
     is an issue, burden is
to you to show why.

I actually added
     this part in my Doctoral
Thesis as a quote!

Also move your bed
     and sheets away from the wall.
But again, you're safe.

I feel that order
     and meaning are things which are
created by minds.

When you drive past me
     at night and flash your headlights,
you *are* the hazard.

I have a beach trip
     with some friends soon and I plan
on smoking one then.

You look like you would
     hunt down and kill your boyfriend
and feast on his flesh.

What's now important
     is what items may or not
have been in plain view.

When you have one who
     lays like that and looks at you
like that, you've earned it.

This site is a great
     place to find out what's happening
in local music.

I absolutely
     *despise* George W. Bush,
but facts are facts, man.

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Surely that shouldn't
     be counted against Python.
Secondly, change "self."

They're not prayer beads like
     on a rosary, they're just
used for fidgeting.

But to forbid tips
     as if wage is enough is
borderline evil.

Do you find yourself
     feeling as though you don't fit
in still to this day?

He probably isn't
     even trying to take away
your assault rifles.

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

You're picking Gaudreau,
     Wheeler, Kesler and Marchand
over Seguin? Thanks!

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

You don't like to touch
     people's hands but you're willing
to handle money.

At least it will be
     until tons of people start
getting hit by cars.

To me, it looked like
     he was beginning to lose
his control as well.

I would never date
     the sort of asshole who would
do this to someone.

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

and only five bucks
     I lived in France for a few
months after uni.

First off, I don't know
     why you think I'm complaining
about anything.

So many people
     need to get the giant sticks
out of their asses.

The scene where Gus tells
     Shawn that he talked to a ghost
when he was a child.

[removed] Get married
     to someone who care about
you and your interests.

Seriously though,
     California is the best
citrus growing state.

One method is not
     worrying about other
people's opinions.

But he shrugs it off
     every time I try to talk
to him about it.

[deleted] Not Moose,
     I like him so far. I'm not
mad about Bennett.

It's scary sometimes
     how he chooses to word his
sentences sometimes.

As simple as this,
     I love it and will never
own a smaller phone.

I'm hoping to bike
     that by the start of July,
which is when we leave.

He knows full well why
     people are weeping, he knows
full well what happened.

I have a duty
     to my daughter. To the realm.
Even to Robert.

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

I would be pretty
     disappointed with Wizards
if that was the case.

"Say 'I'm the Captain
     now' again motherfucker,
I double dare you."

If only we were
     as skinny as the first time
we thought we were fat.

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

After only one
     episode I am pretty
much over it.. Yep.

What were they planning
     on doing if they caught him?
Assaulting him more?

No shoes in the house.
     I want to minimize dirt
and particulates.

I'm going to take
     your liver, son." "What the fuck?
That's so messed up, dad!"

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

[deleted] You should
     probably get a new hobby,
you suck at this one.

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

If you want to live
     in a decent area
in Detroit Metro...

Some of its scenes are
     weak, but overall, there's some
pretty cool shit there.

Seems like a pretty
     bold statement to make without
providing a source.

What things would you like
     to be automatically
notified about?

Enough sperm remain
     inside to storm the cervix
and hunt down that egg.

Well, fuck you too, kid
     Does that make him the shortest
pitcher in the league?

"Unconditional"
     surrender is not something
that Japan wanted.

and i fucking stared
     at her pussy like if there
was no tomorrow.

Sorry this has been
     more me venting than actually
offering you advice.

Hell, anyone who
     doesn't subscribe to it is
deluding themselves.

And they all turned out
     very, very successful
in their chosen fields.

I could eat a whole
     platter but I think that one
would get boring quick.

Fuck dude that sucks, good
     on you for being honest
with yourself now though.

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Is it mainly homes
     and religious sites or are
there many places?

I am thoroughly
     jealous of his everything.
Especially the hat.

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Holy shit I can't
     even begin to describe
how jealous I am.

A flat wing gains lift
     if it is at an angle
to the flow of air.

And I am anal
     to the point of obsession
about cleaning kit.

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Yes, I'm a prescribed
     Canadian. That fact was
almost fun. Almost.

I am a senior
     in high school and with that comes
the dreaded question.

Even their houses,
     their art collections and all
are owed by the fund.

I feel like that might
     be information that you
should keep to yourself.

If any species
     should have it's population
controlled it's humans.

See if you like it.
     i refuse do go aussie
just on principle.

looks like this year will
     be a repeat for DK2...
but it'll be worth it.

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

One time my buddy
     and I had blazed up then gone
for some Burger King.

It could be pretty
     satisfying to rip up
books that you hated.

They put warnings on
     buckets to avoid people
from drowning in them.

This officer has
     no personal self control
and is dangerous.

And I do murder
     all I want, and the amount
I want is zero.

Going out of town
     on the 14th so it has
to be before that.

He was harassing
     and yelling at customers
in the parking lot.

Walking ten miles sucks
     but riding a bike ten miles
isn't bad at all.

Done and over with.
     Ok, same here. So now what
do we talk about.

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

[deleted] Shoveling
     snow off my drive way HELL YES!
STICK IT TO THE MAN!

But I guess I just
     wonder why there was so much
hype to begin with.

Having some damn good
     goals in life (some travel, work
goals, etc).

It was a box truck
     full of mannequins that looked
like bodies at first.

Did I mention I'm
     also poor and she has large
inheritance sums?

Take the internship!
     Companies care more about
that than a degree.

I think at this point,
     the media is a beast
in charge of itself.

Why would that guy risk
     getting brutally murdered
just for a few bucks?

I have a friend who
     does it, and she says its kicks
the shit out of her.

It's the future, no
     one knows how it will turn out.
There is only hope.

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Aversion in taste
     exists to protect you from
potential poisons.

Not a good combo...
     Then I will say it was far
better than it looks!

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

And I'd argue that's
     your fault and a very poor
decision you've made.

Puns and other smart
     alec remarks are what makes
the world go around.

A gun can't go off
     in a restaurant if there's no
gun in the restaurant.

Living with someone
     in a relationship tests
all of your patience.

Given time this will
     change as sectors other than
oil and gas take off.

And the crowd that turned
     out to watch, dressed up in their
finest, hats and all.

It's not about up
     or down it's about equal.
There are bedbug dogs?

I see, so they fly
     from Korea to NA specially,
just to qualify?

I'd light up her world
     like nobody else, so hard.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Read up on hormones
     and behavior and their roles
between each other.

South Korea. Why are
     we fighting? Let's go dancing.
I love you. Let's hug.

All because they want
     to get their hands on that sweet,
sweet technology.

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

well i think we can
     agree most of your time is
spent in the basement.

That being said, there
     is some value in pointing
out the pope's a douche.

If they refuse, put
     their children in remote schools
to civilize them.

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

You will miss him but
     sometimes the big man upstairs
needs him more than us.

If that were the case,
     everyone in china would
be driving a benz.

Your friend probably just
     doesn't know how to respond
to your depression.

Just ask yourself this,
     if the roles were reversed, would
she be there for you?

Bats do horribly
     in captivity, unless
kept in a large group.

The human spirit
     is enduring, and there is
so much to live for!

I just had my first
     hat drop the other day too.
Fancy fedora.

The guy on the phone
     basically just told me "good
luck" and let me go.

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

That works too. I don't
     understand how breathing can
make you almost cum?

Then they wonder why
     kids are bouncing off the walls
in class and at home.

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

I think after "q"
     I would say "u,", and "r" was
in the wrong place, too.

Try to grab a guy
     who isn't awesome right now
but has high upside.

Eight sounds young but that's
     *way* to old to be screwing
up the alphabet.

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

I love your software
     and tell others about it.
Haters gonna hate.

So this is pretty
     much just rednecks vs clowns?
That sounds amazing.

If you have the time
     I'd like you to consider
helping me this year.

No college degree
     guarantees you a job, why
would an internship?

:p So my dog seems
     to understand to not pee
or poop on carpet.

Homophobia
     doesn't disappear once gay
marriage is legal.

It's only a week
     into the game so it's not
too late to restart.

She is literally
     aiming to be traumatized.
Like everyone else.

I don't. How could you?
     It's a big dark cloud looming
over me (and you).

But more than likely,
     you have no idea what
you're talking about.

Edition? My case
     has been made by every vote
banning gay marriage.

Fuck the government
     man they don't do shit to keep
nation safe. Looks good!

The only time Jack
     has ever annoyed me was
his butterfly thing.

hurts to even type.
     Are you sure it's not Asian
men who get you hard?

I was also picked
     on for my lack of knowledge
in sexual things.

I've never fancied
     the russian roulette of birth
control personally.

He thought if I want
     smiling constantly that meant
I was miserable.

But for most people
     just being there and showing
you care is enough.

My last girlfriend liked
     the hard kidding that would leave
our lips feeling bruised.

Boston Red Sox fans
     are some of the worst humans
I have ever met.

And conservatives
     don't corner the market on
religion, either.

It's not fair to them
     thinking you are a friend when
you are really not.

Being inclusive
     is great, and we shouldn't turn
anyone away.

No one know for sure,
     but they do know it isn't
because of drowning.

I have a hard time
     believing that that he smeared
real blood on that girl.

Firm handshake and eye
     contact, after they see you
drinking alcohol.

I would say I find
     that hard to believe, but I'm
on the internet.

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Iron Man. He's rich,
     he gets beautiful women
and he blows shit up.

His outlook on life
     is a model to live by.
I'm saving the link.

I see you derive
     your self worth from arguing
on the internet.

I don't eat much fruit,
     but I make an exception
for watermelon.

I love it and yes
     even when she doesn't squirt,
she gets super wet.

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

The best part is when
     all the old Uncles get drunk
and tell dirty jokes.

Smoking weed isn't
     worth risking your health. I am.
Impressive sleuthing.

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Nobody was trying
     to make you feel bad, you were
subtly bragging.

Even though it's more
     expensive, it's also much
much more efficient.

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

The thing is, if you
     feel as if you're too squishy,
then you probably are.

And everyone is
     always *friendly* in a south
city kind of way.

I have about four
     prescriptions that have my wife's
name on them, not mine.

Don't worry about
     motivation, just do what
you can when you can.

Yes, it will be hard...
     but you'd be doing both you
and him a favor.

they say, as they call
     their dealer and get mad when
he doesn't answer.

It sucks. It's my first
     valentines day since my last
boyfriend passed away.

They let the murders
     and kiddie rapist back out
to do it again.

That's not true, we don't
     bail out Greece, we bail out banks
that gave loans to Greece.

This is really great!
     And, kind. Can't wait to try them.
My order is in.

It's more efficient
     mathematically even
if not practically.

See dude, that's all great
     and dandy, the problem here
is the tendency.

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

That's not to say its
     impossible, but it won't
exist for some time.

As an male trending
     to Alpha, you shouldn't care
what men FEEL. Make sense?

Its illogical.
     Queer christian theology
makes no sense to me.

People are crazy.
     All circles are upside down.
Squares are right side up.