Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #40407

Sometimes they make eye
     contact and then just go back
to watching the show.

Score: 2          

Haiku #125335

I just went to their
     website to get more info.
It's unusable.

Score: 2          

Haiku #211306

He's not disabled.
     Heck, there's people who have like
no hands who are gold.

Score: 2          

Haiku #260958

I'm wondering, why
     is the page so, uh I can't
think of the word. Long?

Score: 2          

Haiku #6537

I appreciate
     your concern though and I'm glad
you offered to help.

Score: 2          

Haiku #100637

I am not giving
     in for fear of illegal
police harassment.

Score: 2          

Haiku #700

There are many things
     we do not let our children
do, like driving cars.

Score: 2          

Haiku #8736

The cows are long gone,
     in fact, the barn never had
any cows in it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #57589

I shall hope to win
     This is going to dilute
the armor market.

Score: 2          

Haiku #65472

Plus she was being
     all shady with Andrea
in the beginning.

Score: 2          

Haiku #272001

He probably isn't
     even trying to take away
your assault rifles.

Score: 2          

Haiku #39022

I have an issue
     with my mouth moving faster
than my brain sometimes.

Score: 2          

Haiku #39007

Oh my fucking god.
     You literally **cannot** make
this kind of thing up.

Score: 2          

Haiku #300972

They're not prayer beads like
     on a rosary, they're just
used for fidgeting.

Score: 2          

Haiku #326394

I actually added
     this part in my Doctoral
Thesis as a quote!

Score: 2          

Haiku #326403

Okay, thanks. I'll be
     sure to hang out sooner than
later, just in case.

Score: 2          

Haiku #329141

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 2          

Haiku #326409

Honestly believe
     Gomez could do a very
decent job somewhere.

Score: 2          

Haiku #224690

I had one last week
     that said, "this sweater is blue
like in the pictures!

Score: 2          

Haiku #210442

If you're interested
     in a particular one,
please specify which.

Score: 2          

Haiku #210450

Over the shoulder
     quadruple boulder holders.
Why did I click, why?

Score: 2          

Haiku #224682

It's awesome to see
     how involved all of us are
on this sub right now.

Score: 2          

Haiku #210446

Anybody else?
     You sound hot for some reason.
Sent you a PM!

Score: 2          

Haiku #337889

Just like the Cowboys
     defense has been a complete
joke the past few years.

Score: 2          

Haiku #257180

She was important
     in the first arc because, well,
obvious reasons.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257174

^^^Should ^^^I ^^^say ^^^it? ^^^Cause
     ^^^I ^^^think ^^^I ^^^want ^^^to ^^^say ^^^it.
^^^I'm ^^^gonna ^^^say ^^^it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #118807

Seriously though,
     California is the best
citrus growing state.

Score: 1          

Haiku #340646

To me, it looked like
     he was beginning to lose
his control as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96827

I think you words up
     some mixed I know my dad would
probably be upset.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #39084

In your defense, you
     had legitimate belief
to think she was drunk.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292776

I was also sleep
     deprived for days and slipped more
and more out of it...

Score: 1          

Haiku #337878

And when you tell them
     yes, don't be afraid to roll
with their idea.

Score: 1          

Haiku #139765

Welcome to the real
     Battlefield experience.
Mate, you're mistaken.

Score: 1          

Haiku #220789

Some people collect
     coins, others collect stamps, some
collect fingernails.

Score: 1          

Haiku #220796

No one put strings on
     you and treated you like you're
their god damn puppet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #343852

Granted, they're all pro
     democrat, but this is still
progress for this sub.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257138

I can understand
     the ones who were drafted or
threatened at gunpoint.

Score: 1          

Haiku #120421

But he shrugs it off
     every time I try to talk
to him about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40461

If enough people
     vote for the third party then
that party will win.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96694

the space is nice, just
     not what they did with it You
aren't denying it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #68712

I always knew when
     he stopped eating it would be
time to let him go.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130118

Truth: what would you do
     for a billion dollars, but
not for a million?

Score: 1          

Haiku #213175

My life was my own.
     That first month was beautiful.
I fixed the place up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #117259

First off, I don't know
     why you think I'm complaining
about anything.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40767

I'm talking about
     the "secret" area. Claire?
That's a fat girl's name.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155888

Exciting times. Ugh,
     my periods are always
so over the place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #269003

I bet the whole thing
     is all so some guy could hide
that porn magazine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326401

If I take a gun
     and walk out into the street
and randomly fire.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333913

[deleted] Not Moose,
     I like him so far. I'm not
mad about Bennett.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333895

One method is not
     worrying about other
people's opinions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257153

It also appears
     difficult for you to find
some sort of escape.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333886

[removed] Get married
     to someone who care about
you and your interests.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259443

You have a point there
     Damn straight Any ace streams yet?
Learn from your mistakes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259492

A meal an a half?
     And mostly salads? You WILL
NOT build muscle with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #331981

You don't like to touch
     people's hands but you're willing
to handle money.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326405

Sorry if this was
     answered in the video
I can't watch right now.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326407

I simply couldn't
     respect a woman who would
let herself be used.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333787

Why would I? No, there
     is nothing to base that on,
as far as I know.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333885

The scene where Gus tells
     Shawn that he talked to a ghost
when he was a child.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333792

I'm aware of where
     I am in reality
so I try to move.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333791

Anyway it was
     our first night there and we were
all pretty tired.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333287

When I stop winning,
     I'll stop doing it. I like
the story the most.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333288

I said the moment
     I posted this that I didn't
know the whole story.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333790

This way he knows what
     he is going to see when
you finally meet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333788

Don't let him do it,
     he doesn't deserve to feel
better about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337113

Look up at a night
     sky without light pollution.
Enjoy those moments.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257141

Do you really think
     each of these star wars movies
will be Blockbusters?

Score: 1          

Haiku #337108

So many people
     need to get the giant sticks
out of their asses.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257146

Actually, I am "trained"
     in journalism as well,
but thanks for playing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337106

and only five bucks
     I lived in France for a few
months after uni.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257145

My friend used to say
     taking pictures distracts from
the fun you're having.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333933

Might be neat. Do you
     know any trans singers who
do something like that?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333926

I'm sure lecturing
     people like they're children will
really change their minds.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329136

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329138

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329137

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333917

You're picking Gaudreau,
     Wheeler, Kesler and Marchand
over Seguin? Thanks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #257209

He knows full well why
     people are weeping, he knows
full well what happened.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257211

I would be pretty
     disappointed with Wizards
if that was the case.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257150

That's ridiculous.
     Did you laugh him out the door
as soon as you saw?

Score: 1          

Haiku #130132

The next thing you are
     telling me is that you don't
like eating children?

Score: 1          

Haiku #130133

Especially because
     the whole thing could be sidestepped
by *gasp* a cell phone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130134

Since that night, I've had
     better sex, and also worse
sex and that's okay.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130135

We're not martyrs, we're
     not volunteers, and we most
certainly aren't saints.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130140

You get in that van
     and do whatever it takes
to *get that candy!

Score: 1          

Haiku #132882

Find more positive
     role models and read their works,
study their habits.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130142

It would be the top
     story on every single
news site in the world.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106194

A flat wing gains lift
     if it is at an angle
to the flow of air.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106195

And I am anal
     to the point of obsession
about cleaning kit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106196

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106197

Yes, I'm a prescribed
     Canadian. That fact was
almost fun. Almost.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106198

I am a senior
     in high school and with that comes
the dreaded question.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106199

Even their houses,
     their art collections and all
are owed by the fund.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136658

as the top post on
     my front page. So excellent.
I can't stop smiling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106192

Is it mainly homes
     and religious sites or are
there many places?

Score: 1          

Haiku #96803

I love it and yes
     even when she doesn't squirt,
she gets super wet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106190

Fuck dude that sucks, good
     on you for being honest
with yourself now though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136573

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136542

It could be pretty
     satisfying to rip up
books that you hated.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135929

You can easily
     shoot a passenger while trying
to hit the engine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106205

I thought the dog was
     in front of the pyramids,
looking unimpressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106206

Can't handle shit when
     you have no ammo and chose
your battle poorly?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106211

I like the winter
     because running in snow make
you feel like a boss.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132935

If any species
     should have it's population
controlled it's humans.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106214

There's an obvious
     pattern and I'm not sure he's
ready to see it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106193

Holy shit I can't
     even begin to describe
how jealous I am.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124902

Sorry this has been
     more me venting than actually
offering you advice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124903

Hell, anyone who
     doesn't subscribe to it is
deluding themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106224

I think Jesse plans
     on telling Flynn everything
about his father.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96764

It's not fair to them
     thinking you are a friend when
you are really not.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130121

Thanks for the answers.
     Pistols all get registered
at time of purchase.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130124

If you are living
     outdoors, you would much rather
live in mild weather.

Score: 1          

Haiku #130128

Why? He's a lot more
     experienced than I am
and a lot smarter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215543

I knew that as soon
     as I stopped with the milk I'd
go back to normal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215557

That's exactly why
     I watch videos like these,
for moment like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215560

Is it just me or
     does it look like Owen's nose
is a bit broken?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215565

It's only legal
     for a little while longer.
Three, two, one, zero!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215569

And of course if one
     finger is wet, chances are
the others are too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215481

I love your software
     and tell others about it.
Haters gonna hate.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224695

Hypothetically,
     this new approach might let them
get away with it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209318

The key is to start
     playing the game, or else you
won't find anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209321

I just feel there are
     better solutions than just
killing the fetus.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206446

I know I would love
     to see a preview of Beth
before the train scene.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206486

If I'm right I look
     like a genius, if I'm wrong
I look retarded.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209109

Flux removes the blues
     at night time to give a more
realistic look.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209120

I agree that there
     shouldn't be cronyism
in place of merit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206503

i made horrible
     choices but i know she is
the person i want.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209278

You deserve better.
     But if this is what you want
this is what you get.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209279

Take a prescription
     opiate Wow this feels great
not in any pain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237451

The thing is, if you
     feel as if you're too squishy,
then you probably are.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237444

As an male trending
     to Alpha, you shouldn't care
what men FEEL. Make sense?

Score: 1          

Haiku #237442

People are crazy.
     All circles are upside down.
Squares are right side up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209303

He wants to rebuild
     America from the pure
genes of the Enclave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209313

Neat. Thanks. that's some edge
     you have there my friend, how is
6th grade going?

Score: 1          

Haiku #209315

You're not an addict
     because you have good coping
skills for your issues.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224702

It doesn't even
     have any wheels No, no Tom
Hanks in the movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209355

Yes, it will be hard...
     but you'd be doing both you
and him a favor.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224700

If that were simple
     to implement they probably
would have already.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209362

It sucks. It's my first
     valentines day since my last
boyfriend passed away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209366

They let the murders
     and kiddie rapist back out
to do it again.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224698

I have lived my life
     where firearms are as common
as automobiles.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224696

And the best part is
     that her friend knows too and is
just playing along.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210992

Are you sure you want
     to close all programs and shut
down the computer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #211014

Wipe off the snow from
     your nose and lean back and you
should be good to go.

Score: 1          

Haiku #211043

Porn addiction is
     actually one of the hardest
things to quit I've found.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210422

can you explain why
     the water doesn't drain by
seeping through the rocks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #213174

It's more efficient
     mathematically even
if not practically.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210409

Looks quite excellent.
     Like legit asian takeout.
How did you cook it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #210466

Houston and Dallas
     are cities with no zoning,
and they are booming.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215430

Edition? My case
     has been made by every vote
banning gay marriage.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215437

Fuck the government
     man they don't do shit to keep
nation safe. Looks good!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215440

The only time Jack
     has ever annoyed me was
his butterfly thing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215438

hurts to even type.
     Are you sure it's not Asian
men who get you hard?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215446

I was also picked
     on for my lack of knowledge
in sexual things.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224688

I feel like we should
     let them be recruited just
to be rid of them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224686

Worse than Dominos
     I honestly didn't enjoy
Skyward Sword as much.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215449

I've never fancied
     the russian roulette of birth
control personally.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224684

Palestine honors
     the criminals who murdered
innocent people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215448

He thought if I want
     smiling constantly that meant
I was miserable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215451

But for most people
     just being there and showing
you care is enough.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215452

I think after "q"
     I would say "u,", and "r" was
in the wrong place, too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #180911

Try to grab a guy
     who isn't awesome right now
but has high upside.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215453

Eight sounds young but that's
     *way* to old to be screwing
up the alphabet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215463

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215512

Obama knows this,
     hence why he is so desperate
to get a deal. Ha!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224694

It's all in your head.
     Happy Birthday! Hope it is
one to remember!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215531

He wasn't the least
     bit sympathetic about
my pleas in the car.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215530

This would be like you
     getting caught up in Russian
cyber policy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215536

"Please sir, just stay there,
     don't do anything rash while
I wait for backup!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #215540

This is why you should
     have no part in deciding
the fate of mankind.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265212

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

Score: 1          

Haiku #45

Age does not always
     bring wisdom, just as the young
are not all foolish.

Score: 1          

Haiku #263750

You do know being
     correct involves more than just
using big words right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #259399

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

Score: 1          

Haiku #259381

I have a duty
     to my daughter. To the realm.
Even to Robert.

Score: 1          

Haiku #263724

If you really care
     about your rank then practice
and improve yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #268491

I'm going to take
     your liver, son." "What the fuck?
That's so messed up, dad!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #314832

At least it will be
     until tons of people start
getting hit by cars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314865

I would never date
     the sort of asshole who would
do this to someone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265176

No shoes in the house.
     I want to minimize dirt
and particulates.

Score: 1          

Haiku #184697

Homophobia
     doesn't disappear once gay
marriage is legal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175267

Just purrs like crazy..
     Probably thinks it's a massage
pillow for him. Yes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175391

Just because it has
     been available doesn't
mean it was useful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193553

Over all I'd say
     he is very balanced if
you know how he plays.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193554

Or take a day trip
     up to Toronto and just
walk around downtown.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196297

Its illogical.
     Queer christian theology
makes no sense to me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193556

Maybe Murray too.
     I'd drop Ivory for Herron
no questions asked though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200286

I don't. How could you?
     It's a big dark cloud looming
over me (and you).

Score: 1          

Haiku #193558

And everyone is
     always *friendly* in a south
city kind of way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193559

I have about four
     prescriptions that have my wife's
name on them, not mine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196258

So this is pretty
     much just rednecks vs clowns?
That sounds amazing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196277

If you have the time
     I'd like you to consider
helping me this year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193560

Don't worry about
     motivation, just do what
you can when you can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193561

See dude, that's all great
     and dandy, the problem here
is the tendency.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193562

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Tuesday Sep 21, 2021 11:00:03 AM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.