Reddit Haikus

To the OP: Please don't
     feed this cat any cheap food
filled with grain and corn.

Kia Optima.
     [deleted] agreed. This is
way too dangerous.

Well I had a blast
     guys and will definitely
be attending more!

Fertility was
     not of my concern, the will
to procreate was.

For me it's the Juke.
     Fuck that thing. [deleted] Yes,
I see what you did.

Could be something dragged
     in from the street that got hit
by a car, as well?

But don't worry. Soon,
     we will rise, and reclaim what
is rightfully ours!

You need to lose some
     weight and put some hairspray or
something in your hair.

These are the free wins
     my rank relies on to stay
high on the ladder!!

You get jobs based on
     what the military needs
AND your scores on tests.

"Now get over it!"
     :P message me [deleted]
I'M TRACEY JORDAN.

These would make awesome
     case cards on retail stacks, or
great wine list inserts.

I also have you
     tagged as "made an asian girl
vomit with his cum".

However, if you
     see yourself playing this more
often, pick up Shards.

This is said to be
     the greatest country ever
to have existed.

As long as they're not
     past their expiry date, go
ahead and eat em.

I know I'd stab you
     if you did that to me. *tone:
considering* Well...

I hope my children
     take such care of me as you
take off your mother.

No. [deleted] Do
     you believe that the bible
is the word of god?

What you say about
     suicides and accidents
is just plain stupid.

It's not about trying
     to make anybody else
happy but myself.

And the WHOLE story
     foreshadowing what God had
planned for His own son.

I only asked cause
     I keep all the packaging
to store my toys in.

That's when I started
     to get more into classic
and underground stuff.

The soda that is
     good for you isn't always
good for everyone.

Bangkok is cheap, but
     up north places like Chiang Mai
are even cheaper.

If you actually had
     questions to ask it would be
easier to help.

She wanted to see
     the whole movie, i told her
to take her shirt off.

They don't make any
     less sense than any other
monsters in the game.

And I think that's what
     is so interesting about
the conversation.

Wow! Well played good sir.
     These might be the prettiest
eggs I've ever seen!

Narrowing the waist
     or sleeves is less difficult,
especially for shirts.

Something serious?
     That said... there isn't just one
way to "find" someone.

The caveat is
     that it needs to be moving
in order to work.

Hitting a woman
     has nothing to do with it.
Assault is assault.

Which is to say, if
     you start something, you're going
to get it right back.

He started singing
     opera to a potted plant
that was next to him.

That's Haverford, they're
     high school novices, be nice.
Good luck with that toy!

When I was a pup
     we got spanked by Presidents
'til the cows came home.

They just have different
     opinions than you on how
the poor should be helped.

"Imagine how much
     funnier life would be if
this existed" HA!

I would love to give
     you some feedback in exchange
for a promo code.

We're in Kentucky.
     Maybe we'll just find our way
down there sometime soon.

The alternative
     would be to do some work or
something productive.

Or at least mine does
     Ok, wow. What the hell am
I doing so wrong?

(What a weird fucking
     thing to write in a corporate
report, by the way.

[deleted] It is
     better to light a candle
than curse the darkness.

Individuals
     can and do contribute toward
altruistic goals.

Other things that you
     say don't make sense actually do
make sense in the kit.

What's worked in the past
     isn't going to work now
for either of you.

Liverpool would be
     stupid to get rid of him.
Thanks! I'll try it out.

[deleted] Yeah, that's
     what I put in the spoiler,
so it's working right.

While this picture might
     be in poor taste, it is meant
to just be silly.

I don't know what I'd
     think if one of my family
members told me that.

Normally I would say
     yes but first quarter she works
hard and gets burned out.

My friends and I used
     to have races to see who
could beat it faster.

And, trust me, she will
     want to prepare for labor
as much as she can.

Do i need to be
     convinced that one man was good
and another bad?

/s And when the vet
     talks to you, you can only
smile and wag your tail.

However, this can
     be easily rectified.
Come, we can teach you!

Lol, sure. Hey,
     at least you're mindful of where
you need to improve!

It's employees aren't
     subject to American
civil service laws.

also the rudest
     and most evil Can we tone
this shit down a bit?

I emulated
     that and almost got kickback
on my first attempt.

Although familial
     humiliation might be
just as effective.

Go to Canada.
     Who doesn't have a man crush
on one of those guys?

The alternative
     would be letting the market
adjust by itself.

I feel bad for her,
     too, but not because the guy
was a jerk to her.

I wish we all could
     enjoy life as much as you.
How do you do it?

I was there and sat
     through the whole thing while my Hawks
fan friend cheered. Shit sucked.

I've got a game on
     Saturday. Granted I do
that every weekend...

Guy: Where did you hear
     to call this place and ask? me:
I can't tell you that.

I was thrown off by
     the way it looks like they are
about to make out.

As long as you've got
     healthy kidneys and decent
blood pressure, you're fine.

Also, women are
     not more physically inclined
at swimming than men.

Awesome, those are both
     exactly the kinds of things
I was looking for.

Just a theory. "Don't
     hold the door open for me!
You're oppressing me!"

Do you keep a glass
     cover over your tank or
is it open top?

All we're asking is
     for a little common sense
and civility.

I just kept jumping
     off that top platform over
and over again.

Ideally, you need
     to be in a job where you
have a good mentor.

Yeah, I agree, Nuke
     is off his kilter today...?
Ban bans Dude shut up.

These scenarios
     are not an excuse, but do
provide perspective.

It mostly explains
     why Shepperd is where he is
in the start of me3.

It might very well
     be the case that it's actually
never a reason.

This post has nothing
     to do with American
Politics. Nothing.

I suggest buying
     cough drops and inserting them
in the floppy drive.

and I can reproach
     my ideas again, or
just have a good laugh.

We can meet if you
     won't slaughter me when we do
like the last guy did.

There's more important
     things on the table this month
than a doomed gun bill.

Also, telling them
     what it is rather than how
much it costs is best.

It's time to respond
     in kind and lie, cheat and steal.
Play its game and win.

Now your finger should
     become blurry and the screen
should be in focus.

Or if you tell them
     to smoke it and tell them it's
hash or something else.

[deleted] Oh right
     I'm not on a witch hunt, must
be a pedophile!

Just continually
     return to the breath when you
recognize you've stopped.

I'm emailing them
     right now, so hopefully I'll
get something back soon.

Then I saw I was
     only a third of the way
down the page. Money?

You mean a few hours?
     He sounds nice but i can't take
chance with that sorry.

When's the last time you
     watched a movie or news from
these countries either?

There are ideas
     encased beyond the normal
dribble of our days.

Please expand on that.
     Oh, you're calling all belief
systems religious.

Jazz* More dumb moot points,
     Jesus and Santa are both
recorded accounts.

It would make a good
     rage comic however that's
not really my style.

Oh God, he's running
     so fast, just like his daddy.
He sees his daddy.

Nope. Not even close.
     In fact, almost the exact
opposite of the truth.

I don't think the Nice
     Guy phenomena should be
mixed up with friend zone.

Sunlight & fresh air
     vs recycled air &
artificial light.

I don't know why but
     I just started tearing up
from laughing so hard.

I also notice
     that you're glamorizing weed
over other drugs.

The birth of Jesus.
     I am terrified of large
leaves on plants or trees.

Even if the steps
     being taken for one half
aren't innately bad.

If you kill him, you'll
     have to do it alone but
you'll be better armed.

Can't make any holes
     in the box, because I don't
technically own it.

Must Stash Hat jams out
     that night at Vapor Central
Starting at 10pm.

So to make this more
     readable, add another
space between each line.

But malaria
     did have to be introduced
to the Indians...

Since, the instincts are
     there, religion will exist.
Force education?

If you marry him
     you get to find out how rock
hard he really is.

Stay frosty. Me too,
     hopefully the G3 will feel
like it should again.

[deleted] I thought
     the spider was weak to ice?
Ok looked it up.

Sorry, I've never
     asked his mother that question.
I don't see OPs name.

If a player on
     the opponent's team goes down
that just helps my team.

He had an ideal
     in mind but lacked practical
knowledge how things work.

I never listen
     to the in game music when
I'm playing forza.

At the very least,
     get your lettering drawn by
your tattoo artist.

The answer is, none.
     It was refined and improved.
Made more accurate.

Sorry about all
     that, I totally get how
annoying it is.

The outcome would not
     change if he wouldn't have gone
back in this timeline.

Just last year, we were
     informed that the kids were our
brother and sister.

[deleted] When I'm
     spy, I hate being spotted
by scouts and heavies.

I prefer to trade
     strait through steam, hence why I asked
if its tradable.

As for maps, yeah, I'll
     agree the maps for reach were
pretty terrible.

Don't you love it when
     their whole argument is "Buy
this book and read it!

[deleted] This is
     what drugs are for Mojave
Desert* I believe.

I'd love to see it.
     Hey brother, I like that show
Internet fist bump!

Aw, that sucks! Blue eyes
     is my pick as my feral
wolf and protector.

The quote does not say
     "He hangs the earth on something
that isn't matter".

You are of course free
     to judge my decision, it's
how we live our lives.

Overall nothing
     insane and nothing to write
home about either.

Interestingly,
     Gideon is also one
named as having faith.

What shocks me the most
     is that all were inserted
with one incision.

I had to drop out
     because my ears are bleeding.
You want it dry, right?

And what about **this**??"
     I can skip a step and say
Who created god?

I've done life drawing
     (on the artist side) and I've
got to say, bravo.

I absolutely
     loved that Super Showcase sketch,
I was cracking up.

Theft requires that when
     I take your property, you
are deprived of it.

Which just goes to show
     how little you know about
computer design.

Dude are you kidding?
     "Sensible policies" are
**everything is free**?

[deleted] I built
     one and then it just walked off
into the sunset...

They were still blurry
     (obviously) and I was
getting frustrated.

I wish my family
     had taken me camping when
I was young. Oh well.

They are tears of joy...
     She cut someone's dick off, then
time to remove it..

It just so happens
     we're simultaneously
reducing work hours.

Shaving just one leg.
     That's what the elevators
want you to believe...

All of that right too?
     **SPOILER**: "But no, look, this is
totally my shoe!

In the end, it all
     got smoked with no bad effects
so I can't complain.

When the battlefield
     is under total control,
war becomes routine.

My basketball skills
     were never and have never
been that great since then.

I have a road bike
     now that I wouldn't feel good
about locking up.

It's that they love their
     children and raise them to be
good human beings.

I just blatantly
     ignore them until it gets
awkward and they leave.

Now days you find them
     EVERYWHERE and thus you see
many of them fail.

I could swear I saw
     you were the pizza guy on
Perfect Couples too!

i think it might be
     safe to expect that. we'll see.
this is amazing.

If you are asking
     if I hit my head prior
to the incident.

Indeed, this is Josh
     Smith in a nutshell... Please stay
with the Eagles. Please.

The mob's actions go
     significantly beyond
words and you know it.

I'm new here, so I'm
     not very good at finding
things yet. Charm Killing.

It ruins the ones
     that may actually be real cause
I don't believe them.

[deleted] As old
     as the internet Greed has
to be my favorite.

If you wanna talk
     about our depression some
time just PM me.

This is pretty sweet.
     Storyline looks kinda like
Infernal Affairs.

too bougie to be
     considered in a thread like
this Yes that's the one.

I'm definitely
     flexible in terms of where
I'm willing to go.

You may want to look
     up a guide if you're almost
maxed and can't get it.

The trouble is you're
     changing the value of `count`
in the inner loop.

Still tried to catch it.
     Bitter to this very day
about that run in.

Thanks, I'd like to give
     you the opportunity
to see me again.

I'll definitely
     rehearse more next time, checking
my notes mid set sucked.

Also, I'd just like
     to add that I love the show
and you do great work.

something is not right,
     there's a glitch in the matrix.
is that from the show?

I should have been more
     aware about sarcasm
on the internet.

I have literally
     no idea what this shit
is really about.

Heck, almost ANY
     system is a good one when
addressed properly.

I'm not a hardcore
     hopper, I just like to go
on from time to time.

A lot of them are
     just as good as the valve maps
and some are better.

That's just not enough
     energy to have a huge
impact on seasons.

That's a good point, thanks.
     [deleted] SPOILERS ABED
DANCES WITH A GIRL!

He meant life after
     apocalypse in general.
Thanks for the advice.

Look everybody!
     Someone still thinks it's clever
to call people "sheep"!

There are some input
     parameters that you will
have to make a guess.

Swap out the hard drive
     each night and keep at least three
in the rotation.

Indeed, often more
     important than what we are
is what we are not.

Something weird happened
     next as I stopped rotating,
and started to fall.

They defiantly
     weren't cliched like so many
other shows today.

ok good you are
     smart enough to know that (or
at least look it up).

Inexcusable
     Poker face in the shower?
I barely know her!

People always like
     to be referred to as sir,
mam, etc.

Millions of wealthy
     Jews live in the USA
and other countries.

Holy fuck. What is
     she going out about town
shopping on her own?